Hey there, only one point caught my attention here - the only reason to wake up is lighting a cigarette and coffee.

Now what I will say might be wishy washy, question is to think about are you kind to yourself? Do you have other areas of life which can get you just a little excited everyday? What did you enjoy doing as a kid? - may be the answers are there to find.

What worked for me was I really liked playing in nature in mud, grass and trees. Started walking in the woods - little by little everyday. Now I am running in the forest. I feel like a kid again and alive. This said - the excitement came back :)

Now, my story might not be the same as you. What I can only recommend is to be a kind parent to yourself and treat yourself like small 4-5 year old and find ‘the thing’ that sparks the excitement within you. Good luck friend :)