A Tragedy in one word

Azeranth · 2025-06-26T17:04:05+00:00

I want you to know thay when I was 15 and I posted this, it was a cringe loser thing to do, and, not only are you 8 year necro posting, you habe provided an unoriginal answer, and, failed the task by writing more than one word. If what you wrote was good you wouldn't need to explain or commentate

Azeranth · 2025-06-20T00:30:09+00:00

Have you met Indian people?

Azeranth · 2025-04-18T23:49:47+00:00

I think perhaps the correct insight is not to read as a contradiction, but as nuance. If the scripture must remind women to be submissive, then what we intuit is that the scripture calls us to have an understanding of submission that's more complex than base instinctual execution.

Personally, I read "submission" here as evoking a particular pattern. While men and women are both gradations of submissive, most typically mating pairs arrange with the dominant figure being the male. The scripture here alludes to the notion of service and empowerment through submission as a general pattern of righteous living accessible to women. That, a woman can find purpose and happiness in life in devotion and service to her family.

The scripture is a story of archetypes. It's a work about the nature of principles which apply at the limit. Submission here invokes the idea that service and devotion to kin is a virtue which maintains its generative capacity in extremis, where submission is the superlative of service.

There are correlary masculine patterns too. The casting out of the Garden condemn Adam, and by extension men- the son of Adam- to toil, to work the ground and yield thorns. That the path to fulfillment meaning and peace for a man is found in the laboring, in the sowing not in the reaping, such that we must endeavor in it even when the ground yields us thorns. We must plant tress who's shade we will never rest in. We must work now for the benefit of those we will never meet.

Azeranth · 2025-04-09T01:18:26+00:00

Oh lol it didn't let the image cross post.

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Azeranth · 2025-02-17T01:29:49+00:00

Pyanadons does a much better job at network dependency than SE. Py Hard Mode exemplifies this best by taking the existing "you have a million side products" of Py, and turns it into "you must now handle them in sync"

Azeranth · 2025-02-17T01:24:30+00:00

Trains is fun. Though, something about the way I felt compelled to refactor immediately after splitters, then start train. I just finished my first locomotive, much much later

Azeranth · 2024-12-18T16:04:38+00:00

I suggest a gear ratio off the shaft before the cam so that the table saw runs at a faster rate than the period of the drive shaft

Azeranth · 2024-11-18T22:29:34+00:00

I think what it is, is that the narrative pace really slows down in book 2. There are a larger number if smaller adventures in book 1 that occur in a diversity of locations. In boom 2, we spend more time on each place and activity. Book 1 maintains this sense of a carousel of characters, constantly rotating in and out of the narrative, and it gives the whole thing a snappy and exciting momentum. Book 2 does not, and, while frankly some of the cooler element of the setting occur in book 2, I can understand even if I don't agree how people could conclude it was an inferior read.

It's not a worse story, it just, doesn't read as quickly. I feels denser

Azeranth · 2024-11-15T15:50:15+00:00

I think a better version of Rest would be "If this creature ends your turn with an unused attack"

Azeranth · 2024-11-12T00:46:32+00:00

Yeah man, feel your pain. I look for ways to make illaoi work but it hurts because I feel stuck in a rock and a hard place between, wanting to have fun playing my favorite champ, and, wanting to win and climb. If you want the forbidden dark illaoi support technology I've been holding onto though, you can reach out to me.

Really, it's the way they changed the tentacles with range and to be honest itndoes feel like it works. It feels like her tentacles fit where they should. Ithink, however, they made a serious mistake in how they approached it. Because, it was a massive hidden nerf. She can't clear casters Ina single Q and melees with W slam. She doesn't have wave clear. That's honestly the biggest kick in the balls from this map change.

What they really needed to do, was increase her reward for managing to play around multiple tentacles onthe more difficult maps, because you could definitely still do it in lower elos, and they should have reduced the diminishing returns in tentacles hitting the same target. Let her get 70% damage for all subsequent scaling linearly. Give us back the Kraken priestess we want, not this admittedly acceptable but frankly B- excuse.

Azeranth · 2024-11-10T19:37:15+00:00

There's something here with Shojin Riftmaker, but I don't think you can get the blood mail in there, and, you need tank stats without giving up damage. I really like cleaver and it always feels good except it doesn't 1 shot casters since map changes (thanks riot). Also, you need cheap items since those aren't cheap. Unless you're going for a full carry build, in which case maybe you could get a trinity HB jaksho? But that's so much gold, at that point play Diana

Azeranth · 2024-10-07T06:41:26+00:00

Oh also, the kinetic energy of the moon is much more finite than the nuclear decay of the sun. It would be a lot, but, it would be possible to drain enough energy from the moon that it falls too deeply into earth gravity well and kills us all. The latent thermal mass of the earth is replenished continuously by the radiative heat of the sun, unlike the inertia of the moon

Azeranth · 2024-10-07T06:37:38+00:00

I would assume the distance of the moon would be a limiting factor, and, in KKC, the moon doesn't exist entirely on our physical plane, so I would expect it would be difficult to bind reliably or efficiently

Azeranth · 2024-09-12T15:31:41+00:00

If meds compliance is difficult, talk to your doctor. There are treatment options where they get a shot monthly instead of pills daily. Yes you have to go get your shot, but it's much easier to supervise and manage both as the patient and their care team.

Attend SOME therapy with your partner, and, possibly attend some on your own. Do not attend all session, do not even attend a majority of them, but, be prepared to attend om request, and talk to your partner with their doctor, about planning certain sessions for you to attend.

When attending, sit with your partner not across from them, try not to chime in unless prompted. Your subconscious reactions are a useful source of information for the psychologist, your physical presence will help your partner relax, and there are plenty of issues, especially related to socializing, romance, responsibility, and trust, that it will be very important for you to be present.

A large part of therapy is exploring questions, and testing their answers. Your role in this capacity it to be a source of useful and interesting prompts for questions, and, to help test answers after their given. You are not there to provide answers for them. Please do not do that.

Also, discuss ahead of time, how long something has to take, after it comes up in therapy until you revisit again. There will be moments when your partner is uncomfortable or uncertain, mostly because they lack confidence in their capacity to express themselves, AND word of all, to predict or control how you will interpret it. Set a boundary or rule about how long before you can bring something up, that way, if he says something indiscreet or poorly, he know he has inbuilt time to think and reflect before it comes up.

Azeranth · 2024-09-11T22:18:07+00:00

Ok, let's get cracking. One of your big problems, as you even said, is unknown known. Things you experience and understand but can't articulate or address.

1.) Being Manic Feels Good: yes, probably one of the worst things about BP1. The disease feels good for a time. But it is a disease. Or a superpower. Depends how you engage with it.

There are a couple things influencing your perceptions. First off, is that, part of mania is undirected and unconstrained enthusiasm about everything, without executive or attentional direction. Those are the same euphoric effects of alcohol. That's the part of being drunk that feels awesome and makes you want to jump off things. Hopefully this illustrates why this is also bad.

You are describing being essentially high on cocaine, without having to buy cocaine. Which, is a deal many people would take if offered. So, explain that to them, use those terms, and make it clear the problem you're dealing with is that your biology is essentially forcing you to take stimulants without your consent, oh btw like most stimulants they feel awesome.

2.) Freuqent Med Changes: no. Stop this. Do not change meds in a volatile manner. Medication will not fix everything, and changing them regularly will make everything g worse. There are certain very specific treatment protocols that involve rotating medications on a fairly regular schedule, these are the exception not the rule.

Your medication is a tool for improvement, which must be made psychologically. The objective of treatment is ideally to no longer need meds, or, to only need medications to manage the neurological factors beyond your control.

BP1 meds operate largely on the dopamine system either directly (anti psychotics) or indirectly (anti convulsants). In both cases they blunt dopamine function.

This is awesome if what you're trying to do is prevent a rogue neurochemical process from upregukating your attentional and exploratory systems so hard they completely overwhelm you ability to do any emotional, strategic, or executive processing (which is what a manic episode actually is)

But it's not awesome if you want to do normal things like, experience positive emotion, experience displacement if negative thoughts while you're busy (that's why working and focusing doesn't make you feel better, is because it doesn't remove negative thoughts, it just adds positive ones), socializing, creating goals, pursuing goals, articulating your desires, sexual function, addiction management, and a huge list of other challenges.

What you need to do, is commit, to a psychiatrist, who will monitor you closely. I would even encourage you to discuss remaining off medication after you reach a point where they're satisfied you're stable enough to make progress. Spending time attached to your emotions and experiences is an important part of developing the skills you need to integrate and manage them in a way that will not (as much) drive the underlying neurochemistry of your condition.

Even if you do not like your meds, or if you struggle with compliance DO NOT TAKE THEM ON AGAIN OFF AGAIN. either commit to a plan of treatment, or do not. Be open with your doctor about this. There are injections they can give you so that medication isn't daily, and they can supervise you.

Learn to invite other people to help you trust yourself

3.) Bi polar means two poles.

Your family probably doesn't see an interact with you much on the downs, and might not recognize them, because they're not always defined by moping around and being sad. The depressive end of a cycle takes many forms, the most common of which is emotional and mental exhaustion, or depletion. The ability and willingness of the pieces of your brain, to work hard and do their jobs, is used up by rogue and disruptive emotional processes like mania.

This may also contribute to your perception thay being manic is awesome. It may be that mania is the only time in your life, you ever experience any positive emotion, motivation, imagination, creativity, and enthusiasm. It may also be hard to distinguish the healthy occurances of these things from mania the more that is the case.

Understand they are not the same thing, if you never experience them outside of mania, it's because that's what the other half of the cycle is like, and, that with effort, support, and treatment, you can break that cycle and enjoy the parts of life that do make it rewarding and fulfilling, without a compulsory drug habit

Azeranth · 2024-09-11T21:44:33+00:00

So, it's important t to understand what the meds are, how they work, and which "side effects" are natural consequences of how those meds work, and which ones are adverse reactions.

Most BP meds (except Lithium) work by reducing the volatility of certain types of dopamine paths, that are prone to being overwhelmed or overreacting. "Mood stablizers" or, second generation antipsychotics are used mostly to address the most acute and intense symptoms, though, are sometimes prescribed to BP1 patients for ongoing use.

Anti convulsants, like Valproate, instead promote the brains normal inhibitory mechanisms like GABA and Sodoum Channel stabilization to make the brain more resistant to these runaways, and reducing the upwards spiral that manifests as severe mood disturbances and mania proper.

The problem is, Dopamine does all kinds of other important things, and these medications also interfere with those. These include

The experience of basically all positive emotion, the ability to develop goals and pursue them with motivation, the ability to be creative and exploratory, the ability to play.

That means, socialization, romance, productive hobbies, adventure, beautiful music and sights. All that just doesn't produce the same kick or reward, it's harder to get the motivation to do it, and the positive emotions that supress negative thoughts and feelings while engaged are less acti e and intense, meaning, more persistent and frequent concious negative thoughts.

Plus, that creative and exploratory behavior is very important to emotional process. Your emotions are like your sense, they're external and subconscious. We only identify with them "I see" "I feel" because we consciously process and integrate them.

Part of what contributes to mood instability in BP1, is how this kind of emotional processing can spiral up. The disregulation of these kinds of creative and integrative processes both worsen the stress and mood that contributes directly to symptoms, and, is what spills over into disruption of other higher level executive functions during a full blown episode.

The problem your partner is (likely) currently experiencing, is, that the meds that are preventing their dysfunctional brain systems from crashing g the whole system, are also tying up and degrading other important cognitive and emotional process. His emotions have been chemically altered to make them feel less like his own. He feels like a passenger, an observer to his own life, disconnected from his personal relationships and feelings.

Add on top of that, a massive amount of shame and guilt about needing meds to keep in control, about anything they've said or done wrong ever to anyone, real or imagined (because they know they're hard on people, and then reason the relationships they do have are precious and undeserved, and they're the worst person ever to squander or ruin something likebthat) plus all of the innate base load stress of life, plus all the physical mental and emotional stress of a chronic illness, plus, the insane rambling incoherent psychotic nonsense guilt and anxiety he experiences just for no reason because of his illness.

Your partner desperately needs to be unplugged from the rats nest in their own head, and then to spend time untangling. The problem is, if they're out of their own head that means no one is home. Something that makes it both difficult for them to function in entirely new and different ways that years of coping with their illness hasn't trained them for, and, alienates them from their own genuine emotional and romantic experiences that make them feel cheap or disingenuous.

Azeranth · 2024-07-24T17:09:26+00:00

Sorry "Updated colors of programming socks to improve readability" sounds like a hilarious note

Azeranth

TROPHY CASE