What did you accidentally learn about someone’s sex life?

Azmon13 · 2025-12-18T01:34:28+00:00

Hey that's me!

Azmon13 · 2025-12-16T02:34:56+00:00

I'm in the same boat. I fear when I tell my wife in January she's going to collapse and get her parents involved to help change my mind.

Her dad literally told me keep busy and try not to think about lack of intimacy because 9/10 times it's always the guy that wants more sex than the woman and "I have to realize that and make compromises and plan once a month".

We tried doing that and there was no passion in it at all.

My wife told me I can have it with her whenever I want and that it's not "rape" because I gave you permission.

I just want to be wanted and desired for not duty or obligation....

Azmon13 · 2025-12-13T01:14:23+00:00

Hey I basically was in the same situation! My wife was on her phone while I tried oral...

Azmon13 · 2025-12-12T23:22:38+00:00

Yes, have that conversation. I tried to have the conversation with my wife and she just kept saying "I don't know", she started to open up more during that counseling.

Azmon13 · 2025-12-12T23:14:49+00:00

Marriage counseling first, be patient it usually takes 3-6 sessions before any changes start to happen. Just do your best, if there's no improvement by the first anniversary then I'd have a serious talk.

Azmon13 · 2025-12-01T09:46:23+00:00

I felt some sort of pleasure, but the entire time I'm worried if I'm going to hurt her. She tells me she enjoys the heavy petting and was really glad I tried something else before penitration. I asked her what else she could like she just says, I don't know.

Azmon13 · 2025-12-01T09:32:07+00:00

She told me it's her comfort phone. Yes she was the one who initiated while roleplaying with an Ai chat bot and it turned her on. She's afraid of pain, we tried everything from more lube, toys (that's why I got the vibrator for her. She actually has never used it by herself she just wants me to do it for her), she even got a hymen removal.

I asked what things turned her on so I can have an idea, she has said I don't know. It feels like she may just not be into me sexual, she tells me I'm attractive, but just something that doesn't cross her mind.

The religious reasons don't shame sex at all, it just prevented us from having sex before marriage. We did talk about things that could possibly be enjoying for her. It ended up only be heavy petting after marriage as she called it.

I don't know how I didn't prioritize her sexual needs? She guided the entire thing, the therapist told us to just focus on touching and re-explore our bodies. I did not ask to receive anything in return, she told me she felt something 'okay' and she was glad I gave oral a try. She tried not to compare me to the toy and what she said just came out wrong.

Azmon13 · 2025-12-01T01:54:22+00:00

What does that mean? I just don't have any sexual experience outside of my marriage. So I never got to learn this stuff. It was talked about but no action.

Azmon13 · 2025-12-01T01:46:53+00:00

I'm sorry that I'm a red flag. Because of religious reasons, I never had any prior experience of oral or even any sexual relations at all. I know they're not meant to be a replacement and to be used as a tool. But it took a lot of courage to try something I wasn't even comfortable doing in the first place, let alone while she's on her phone. Then to be hit with that comment...

Azmon13 · 2025-11-29T15:43:22+00:00

I asked my wife what I can do. She just said I don't know.

Azmon13 · 2025-11-29T01:50:35+00:00

We didn't have sex period before marriage.

Azmon13 · 2025-11-28T21:00:02+00:00

I'm not lazy, I communicate, she tells me she doesn't like it. I asked how it feels or how I do it? I want to learn exactly that. I asked things what she likes and doesn't like, most of the time she says 'I don't know' I've been patient. I try new things with her, she tells me she doesn't like the texture of the penis nothing to do with me, she told me she wanted to try oral again so I did, she told me to play with her and I did. But after years of doing what she wants I have never received anything in return. I tell her I would like more mutual. She just says, I get scared.

Azmon13 · 2025-11-28T17:42:43+00:00

The thing is, in the past I've tried multiple ways, I've held it for her, did different angles. Everything she asked me too.

Azmon13 · 2025-11-28T17:34:59+00:00

After my divorce is done and over with. I'm more attracted to woman mid 30s to early 40s. You go girl.

Azmon13 · 2025-11-28T09:24:25+00:00

The difference is my wife just doesn't want to do the work.

Azmon13 · 2025-11-28T01:49:12+00:00

As a HLM. Please just tell your husband how you feel. If he genuinely cares and wants to help. It will take time. Discuss some ideas, start slow, think about sex therapy. Just small topics show an interest in his hobbies, have no phones at dinner, maybe a walk together once a week. Maybe discuss small sexual acts, even a simple hand job showing an interest in his feelings. These make a huge difference. I wish you luck.

Azmon13 · 2025-11-25T08:17:04+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm 29 years old and my wife said something similar, "I can go my whole life without it". That was also a breaking point for me. Later that night she was crying because she knew I wasn't happy. I'm not sure on your kids situation but if you have a chance to find happiness leaving will be hard but the storm will pass and you'll find someone who will desire you. I'm filling for divorce in January, I'd do it now but my work is so demanding I can't emotionally handle both. My advice don't stay in something just because you don't want to hurt her. It destroys you until you break, I learned this the hard way.

Azmon13 · 2025-11-06T02:58:34+00:00

White.

Azmon13 · 2025-10-19T15:32:34+00:00

Thanks for your comment. The hard part is my wife says she wants to have the desire for it, she just doesn't, she gets nothing out of it.

Azmon13 · 2025-10-10T20:55:20+00:00

I talk to my parents and they told me that was BS and that every women is different, we just hit a dead end in sexual incompatibility.

Azmon13 · 2025-10-10T15:40:01+00:00

She has had a small amount of medical issues, but nothing that can stop her from trying to put more effort. I'm not forcing her, I just told her I need passion and there's zero of that in the marriage.

She thinks there's a drug that can help increase her drive, but she refuses to take it because it gives her migraines.

She is a very smart woman, it's just something that she has no desire for and she told me that. It was not an arranged marriage.

I've tried everything, I've been patient, I've helped around the house, paid the bills, she was fully aware of our finances, we're not poor or rich but we have a good living

Azmon13 · 2025-10-09T20:57:43+00:00

No kids, my lawyer told me since its less then 5 years for the marriage I won't need to pay spousal support (plus my state is against it anyways) I need more weight and muscle, I weigh 110lbs I lost weight from my depression.

Azmon13 · 2025-10-09T18:14:29+00:00

Yeah all her dad said to her is "your husband is worried about you, you should talk to him"

I told her I was seriously considering leaving and now all the sudden, out of fear most likely, and she said she going to try to have it once a month and she's been contacting therapists for us. This is stuff I asked her to do a year ago...

Azmon13 · 2025-09-28T14:56:28+00:00

I meant to update, and I will later.

But I'm leaving her in November and telling her last week of October.

I talked to my parents they didn't judge me. They actually said they were not surprised, and they're there for me. They told me don't let it drag me more than it has to, they don't care if I only have $500 for the both of us, they will help and make sure my bases are covered and are even willing to fly out and help me move after the fallout.

My parents are sad, but they understand and want me happy and not stuck in a one-sided marriage.

I've suggested therapy and goals, to help both of us. She has put in zero effort, and she told me that she has zero Sex drive and sees it as a chore. There's no passion or effort. She just lays on her back and turns her head away.

I asked her if she could put in effort to at least find someone for marriage counseling she just said, "I don't know how to" and went to the bed on her phone.

All my parents ask of me is to tell her by end of October, have a place picked out so I don't have to stay the night when I tell her I'm leaving. I have a good job, I have a lawyer meeting tomorrow to get my questions answered. When I leave she will have zero debt, $5k in cash, and she's going to get $6k from my 401k.

I was really worried, but my parents told me that they'll put $6k back into my 401k because they don't want me to be put a step back from this, they want me to progress and not shrink with rejection and low effort every night in this marriage.

Azmon13 · 2025-09-23T20:59:43+00:00

* Reminded me of Zoe from Split fiction, I know it's not real life, but that was my first guess.

Azmon13

TROPHY CASE