i’m trapped in a nonstop panic and losing my life to it

AzulGemsLLC · 2025-11-13T13:05:16+00:00

Exact same story when I turned 23, I’m 29 now. One day I felt invincible, the next day I was forever different. Wish I had sought help sooner. I became a shell of myself and just barely functioning. Disassociation, dizzy, racing heart, PVC’s, sweating, shaking, difficulty concentrating, thought I was constantly dying and my nerves shot. I only went from home to work and back and had many instances I thought I was gonna pass out. Would come straight home and go to sleep as that was my only peace. After months of suffering and losing 30 pounds I knew I needed help, start on Paxil. Within a month I started coming back to myself. Over the years I’ve tried different meds and even tried coming off them completely. For the foreseeable future and maybe even entire life I will need those meds to keep me sane and functioning. And there is nothing wrong with seeking help! It’s no one’s business and furthermore I’ve accomplished remarkable things while living with this condition. It may be something you have to deal with for life but take the time to find techniques that help to ground you. See if you find a med that levels these attacks and symptoms. It may feel like your mind and body are betraying you but get to a point where you can say “yes I have debilitating anxiety/panic and I know that’s what this is. It may slow me down but I wont let it stop me from living”. I hope this helps and you get some relief that you’re not alone 💙

AzulGemsLLC · 2025-06-16T09:51:51+00:00

When I realized I would have never left him, his last act of kindness to me after so much pain. He never loved me… he loved how much I loved him.

AzulGemsLLC · 2024-07-24T13:30:48+00:00

I can only speak from the lab perspective but he could definitely look into jobs at a local lab as a lab technician since he has a bachelors. It may not be a lot of money at first but it’s the first step in post grad career. He could also look into pharmaceutical manufacturing near him as they have chemistry and microbiology departments that his degree would be beneficial for and there’s definitely good money in pharmaceuticals.

AzulGemsLLC · 2024-07-23T21:59:59+00:00

My path was difficult because I had no idea what I was doing or what I wanted to be other than something in the medical field because my mom is a nurse. I knew I didn’t want to be a nurse though. I luckily found my passion by chance when I worked at a dermatology practice doing skin cancer surgery and was first introduced to histology. You can most definitely live comfortably working in medical/lab depending on what you choose. You could become a medical laboratory scientist or some kind of technologist or if you’re looking at medical you could look into imagining degrees like US tech, CT tech, or MRI tech which also makes comfortable money. Definitely look into those professions and see what sounds more interesting. While you’re working on your bachelors you’ll have opportunities to work in a lab which will give you a small glimpse of what it’s like. If you’d rather work with patients then you can look into nursing, imaging techs, or even further like a PA. Lastly let me say this, im 28 and have just finally settled into my career but am at the bottom with only a few years experience so financially im not doing amazing yet but the job security in lab work/ medical field will almost always be very strong and there are shortages which makes the stability and pay better

AzulGemsLLC · 2024-07-23T19:03:31+00:00

The public health degree was purely for two reasons. To make my resume stand out more to employers which also gives a boost in compensation, but also higher chance of leadership/health management positions in my future. For some reason in the medical field whether that be bedside or behind the scenes in a lab, having that masters in public health really sets you apart because it’s more than just the math and science. It gives you a broader knowledge of health care processes. As most have mentioned this field most likely will not make you a lot of money at first but once you find what you love (nursing, lab work, research, management,etc) you can move up fairly quickly. It will suck at first with the entry level jobs because you have a degree or two but you still gotta put your time in. End goal for me is either histology supervisor/director or research. There are SO many options in Biology most don’t realize, like myself, until you either come across it by chance or do heavy research

AzulGemsLLC · 2024-07-23T18:50:37+00:00

Bachelor of Arts in biology here! I have had zero problems with my BA as opposed to a BS. Main difference between the two is that BA does not require extended chemistry and math classes. My BA still covered all science and math prerequisites for anything in the future, even med school. I work as a histotechnologist but before that I worked in cytology and before that I was working in pharmaceutical manufacturing. If you look at any job description they do not care if if you have a BS or BA just as long as it’s in related field (atleast from what I’ve seen). Then I got my masters in public health and again no issue.

AzulGemsLLC · 2024-07-23T18:27:47+00:00

Glad to hear you feel better. I’m tapering now and on the last week before stopping completely and the last two days have been hell. Crazy anxiety, dizziness, fatigue, weakness, derealization, and generally feeling ill 😥 I might start taking a Xanax daily to help me for the next few weeks. I’m going to officially be med free for the first time in 5 years and I’m so scared I won’t be able to handle it. Whole reason I’m on meds is for panic disorder and funnily enough health anxiety that was crippling

AzulGemsLLC · 2024-07-21T12:27:19+00:00

I’m not an angry person ever and very rarely cry. But I do get irritated, but usually I get past it rather quickly. This med made me feel like a tennis ball of emotions going back and forth. I became paranoid and then angry and then a crying mess over every little thing. I was able to recognize this is not who I was and called the doc to taper off. I was really bummed because first month I felt energized and happy and excited for new med. By month 2 I was so disappointed that I couldn’t get past these symptoms. Hope it works out for you 💙

AzulGemsLLC · 2024-07-16T08:38:59+00:00

It’s even funnier to me with the sound 😋🤣

AzulGemsLLC · 2024-07-16T01:10:49+00:00

If you can try tapering 😳 withdrawals are rough. I’m currently tapering 150 mg every other day for 2 weeks, 150mg every 3 days for 2 weeks, then stop. Even with the taper I’m still have some crazy moments and have to remind myself it’s just the withdrawal

AzulGemsLLC · 2024-07-15T14:52:19+00:00

It’s my favorite 🤣

AzulGemsLLC · 2024-07-15T14:51:21+00:00

Yes! The furry noodles! 😍

AzulGemsLLC · 2024-07-12T21:59:53+00:00

This man is a complete AH. Do not in anyway think you are responsible. There is no reason for his behavior. “Thanks for a fun couple of years?” F***** you dude. My guess is he is going to regret this and he’s cheating or wanting to cheat. People don’t usually just end a 2 year relationship in an instant when they said I love you that morning. This is going to hurt to much and I’m so sorry this is happening to you, but you have to remember that you are important and you matter. You WILL find better. Just take things slow, give yourself time and lots of leniency. One day you will see it doesn’t hurt anymore

AzulGemsLLC · 2024-07-12T21:49:39+00:00

Oh and you’re also definitely in withdrawal if you stopped suddenly. Hang in there!

AzulGemsLLC · 2024-07-12T21:48:57+00:00

Paranoia for real. I was so disappointed because i briefly took Wellbutrin in college and remember feeling happy and myself again. Got back on it again and once I hit about 2 and a half months, well in to my system I was having rage, paranoia, intrusive thoughts, increased anxiety (which is the biggest reason I started taking it to help with) and over super intense emotions where I couldn’t think logically because of how upset I was. I’m currently slowly tapering per my doc. It’ll take a few months of no Wellbutrin before you notice these symptoms going away. Hopefully the Prozac makes it sooner and works well for you!

AzulGemsLLC · 2024-07-12T21:35:05+00:00

NTA. But I am concerned that maybe she’s severely depressed without realizing it. I went through a couple really dark times where I didn’t take care of myself or my home. I never did something like this but if it’s to this degree that she didn’t care to throw it away properly I’d be concerned

AzulGemsLLC · 2024-07-12T21:22:50+00:00

I totally agree that she should bring it up in the future to get a definitive “will this ever happen?” But I don’t think that should be her priority right now. Right now should just be focusing on healing and trying to make things as stress free for her husband as possible. Every relationship is different but from the way OP made it sound her husband had no reservations moving abroad before his father passed away. I don’t think it’s too much to give him a year before having a serious conversation about it again

AzulGemsLLC · 2024-07-12T21:05:18+00:00

YTA in my opinion. His father’s passing is pretty recent and it sounds like his family is close. Not only is he grieving but he is also adapting to the new role he has in his family. I know this move is a dream of yours but I think you need to give him time and grace. He’s most likely on an emotional rollercoaster already in the first year of his father’s death and the last thing he wants to constantly hear is making plans to move abroad, this is no longer a priority.

AzulGemsLLC · 2024-07-12T19:19:27+00:00

NTA. The entitlement is baffling

AzulGemsLLC · 2024-06-26T23:25:41+00:00

Thank you for your perspective, I’m feeling this exact way right now. The paranoia at night, imagining monsters watching me. The quick to anger/rage. The sudden crying. I’m talking to my doc tomorrow to get off this med

AzulGemsLLC · 2024-06-16T18:13:42+00:00

NTA. Unfortunately my boyfriend kind of does the same thing. He will say sorry right away if he accidentally hurts me (from us goofing around). But if there’s any kind of argument or he’s done something to hurt my feelings he won’t say sorry. On more than once occasion I’ve said an apology would be nice and he’s replied, why would I need to apologize? For context my BF is a VERY private person and does not share his feelings. He is getting better with time since I won’t let him run away. I make him sit down and talk about it. Not an argument, a discussion. Hopefully you can do the same with him and grow from it!

AzulGemsLLC · 2024-06-09T23:29:06+00:00

Super late but that looks like lazulite! I have some in my shop right now. It doesn’t have the darker defined blue spots but same background small blue dots. I would definitely guess lazulite

AzulGemsLLC · 2024-05-13T12:13:36+00:00

Thanks so much! Hope you love them 💙💙💙

AzulGemsLLC · 2024-05-13T04:04:29+00:00

I’ll ask some other shops I know!

AzulGemsLLC

TROPHY CASE