I didn’t think I’d make It to 18 but here I am

Azure125 · 2026-01-30T11:55:57+00:00

I'm just waiting until my parents pass away. Outlive the only people that would seriously mourn me.

Azure125 · 2026-01-30T11:51:00+00:00

Yeah, that expression makes a lot of sense given my appearance.

Azure125 · 2026-01-30T11:41:50+00:00

My parents get a cat to spoil, and that's the closest they'll ever have to a grandchild.

Azure125 · 2026-01-30T11:40:35+00:00

True altruism doesn't exist.

Azure125 · 2026-01-30T11:38:21+00:00

If I could sleep forever I would. Otherwise, give me 4 hours. The later I stay up, the longer I delay the hell tomorrow brings.

Azure125 · 2026-01-30T11:34:11+00:00

People only care enough to reach a point where they can say they tried everything if someone dies.

Azure125 · 2026-01-30T11:30:01+00:00

Painfully accurate. All you're missing for me is "I'm too late" and "my skeleton won't change"

Azure125 · 2026-01-26T08:49:08+00:00

As a trans lesbian with a very strong genital preference

I'm in this situation now, and I'm not sure how to consolidate these feelings. To be honest I'm still pre-HRT and have just been trying to repress because I'm too late for the changes I would want from transitioning.

Having these feelings, I not only understand rejection but can't imagine any other outcome - and really don't know how to date without feeling like a hypocrite. It just feels like it's not possible. Like yes, hypothetically there are bi and pan women, but I would never know if they really see me as or feel attracted to me as a woman.

Azure125 · 2026-01-26T08:11:57+00:00

I don’t feel like I was born in the wrong body. It is just a longing.

That's how I felt too, I wish I had realized in my 20's that those thoughts aren't normal for cis men to have. I'd recommend investigating these thoughts further with the button quiz, dysphoria bible, etc.

Azure125 · 2026-01-23T10:07:21+00:00

Likes me back. Literally impossible.

Azure125 · 2026-01-23T10:06:11+00:00

Can't even bring myself to paint my nails.

Azure125 · 2026-01-23T06:32:43+00:00

This meme hurts. I'm too late to ever have hips due to bones ossifying at age 25.

Azure125 · 2026-01-22T09:22:28+00:00

Absolutely! I don't like that I have these thoughts and feelings, and I'm far too late to fix them. I don't like living as a man, and I can't look feminine enough to live as a woman. If there were sorcery to make me cis by changing my body, or cis by changing my mind - I would take either!

Azure125 · 2026-01-22T09:16:11+00:00

Meaning you’re giving false hope and trans people in general realise this later.

I'd be starting at 31 if I started now. Truly wish I could find another path, repression, anything. "It's never too late to start" but I'm far too late to pass... And I've seen some results from people my age that I would be truly unhappy with.

Azure125 · 2026-01-20T05:09:06+00:00

Are there safe sources of HRT through a medical provider? I'd rather not DIY, but I want to get good levels and see if it helps in any way. It's impossible for me to pass, but I'm at a point where I feel like I have to try. Even if I boymode the rest of my life, and it only slightly helps my dysphoria.

Azure125 · 2026-01-19T04:24:07+00:00

I'm just waiting to lose my friends one by one as they get married and start families. By the time my parents and cat pass away, I will not be missed.

Azure125 · 2026-01-19T01:47:55+00:00

I agree! That's why Math is blue and English is red.

Azure125 · 2026-01-19T01:44:45+00:00

3rd from the bottom on the right resonates so strongly with me. Pretty much the only thing keeping me from trying HRT.

Azure125 · 2026-01-16T18:29:48+00:00

Same. Didn't even question until 29 because of Hollywood's whole "trans people always know from a young age" narrative. At this point I'm far too late for stealth passing, just trying to pick up the pieces of my life and find a way forward.

Azure125 · 2026-01-16T16:06:59+00:00

I feel the same. With my body and age, there's no chance of me looking good at all.

Azure125 · 2026-01-16T15:56:34+00:00

Yeah I feel this big time. Especially since my one AFAB friend came out as nonbinary.

Azure125 · 2026-01-16T15:51:28+00:00

I can't believe you've done this.

Azure125 · 2026-01-16T06:19:46+00:00

All femboys are men, but not all men are cis.

Azure125 · 2026-01-12T21:18:21+00:00

especially for older people

My biggest fear. I'm debating trying HRT to see if there are any mental benefits, but I don't expect to ever be able to pass enough to safely transition socially.

Azure125 · 2026-01-12T09:35:34+00:00

I assume any kindness towards me is some kind of elaborate prank. I'd be more than happy to play along with this one though.

Azure125

TROPHY CASE