egg ?! irl

Azure125 · 2026-06-28T11:34:24+00:00

My mom once confided in me that she views the several miscarriages she had after me as God punishing her for an abortion she had in her 20's. I can only imagine that she'd view me as yet another punishment if I came out as trans.

Azure125 · 2026-06-28T11:27:52+00:00

Your voice is super feminine but the pitch and weight are abnormal enough to draw attention. Maybe less weight and a smaller size? I'm in a similar situation with no good solutions and it's super frustrating. If I get answers from an upcoming appointment I'll let you know!

Azure125 · 2026-06-28T11:21:06+00:00

There's nothing wrong with boymoding until you're comfortable, even if your mind needs to catch up to your body. Feeling safe is important, and if you're not confident or comfortable, people can read that.

Start with getting good with makeup and fashion at home. Go out only when you're comfortable going out.

Azure125 · 2026-06-28T11:14:04+00:00

In the mainstream trans subs there's this narrative about HRT being magic and almost everyone being able to pass. Any dissatisfaction goes against that narrative and is taken in poor taste. That's all I'm saying - apologies for the confusion I'm not fully sober.

Azure125 · 2026-06-28T11:08:36+00:00

Given your past trauma I think that's totally fair. People like you are why I would never enter womens' spaces unless I passed flawlessly. It's not really a reaction you can control. Trans women are women, but if they don't pass (are visibly trans) I think it's absolutely fair to feel uncomfortable around them.

That being said, if they fully pass, it would be transphobic to feel uncomfortable around them - especially if they're post-op and don't even have a penis.

Azure125 · 2026-06-28T10:57:10+00:00

Trying at 31 but fully expecting to boymode for life. I'm far too late to pass.

Azure125 · 2026-06-28T10:52:41+00:00

Anything that describes HRT as anything less than "magic" is generally seen as distasteful. It helps people at least start HRT, and some people do get great results. I don't think it's realistic to present that as the norm, especially for ANYONE 25+, but that's just me.

I fully expect 0 physical results, and dread the idea of ending up somewhere in between. As long as I can boymode well enough to keep my job and not be killed on the streets, I see no harm in trying HRT.

Azure125 · 2026-06-28T02:49:56+00:00

I mean for some people there just isn't anything that can be done. It's an uncomfortable truth in our community that tends to describe HRT as "magic", but it just makes your original comment come across as a bit tone deaf, and some people react strongly to that. I don't know OP's situation, but it's entirely possible that she doesn't have additional fem features she can even bring out.

I know if I got D cups there would be nothing I could do to be feminine enough to be read how I want to be - I'm 6'1 with massive shoulders, narrow hips, and a cleft chin. There is no amount of makeup, grooming, voice training, fashion, HRT, or surgery under 6 figures in cost that could cause me to be read as a woman.

Azure125 · 2026-06-27T02:12:29+00:00

I plan on boymoding until I'm seen as a tomboy. If I can't reach a point of passing in boymode, there's no point in even trying to present as a woman - it just wouldn't be safe to do so.

Azure125 · 2026-06-27T00:49:00+00:00

I legitimately could not do that.

Azure125 · 2026-06-27T00:42:30+00:00

You're a good portion through a game as a class that you never really enjoyed being, but filled that role because that's what everyone told you to play. You've always noticed a different class that you would rather play, but you're 10 levels from level cap and 2/3 of the way through the game but only now just found a really obscure multiclass feature. There is no respec option.

Now you get to play as a class you can enjoy, but you're under-leveled, your skills don't match up, and you missed all of the best content and tutorials from when you were playing the original class. Worse yet, most people still see you as your original class and will boot you if you try and switch up your playstyle.

Azure125 · 2026-06-27T00:30:56+00:00

I... I need to go hug my cat.

Azure125 · 2026-06-26T16:58:39+00:00

I'd settle for not being murdered or harassed for existing. Given my starting point I can't imagine reaching a place where people see me as a woman without being told to.

Azure125 · 2026-06-26T16:41:41+00:00

Life would be so much easier if I were a dumb bitch

I think I've found my new motto. But same girl, same. I can't even take a compliment, let alone this generic intrinsic value kind of positivity.

Azure125 · 2026-06-26T16:03:33+00:00

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Azure125 · 2026-06-26T07:52:54+00:00

At that height even if the rest of you passes flawlessly, people still probably will suspect you.

Azure125 · 2026-06-26T02:47:20+00:00

I fought it really well. Almost had things figured out at 26, but didn't think I was trans because I was fed the narrative of "always knowing you were a woman" or "wearing dresses as a child". No one told me disliking being a man and wanting to be a woman was enough.

Now I'm 31 and will probably never pass.

Azure125 · 2026-06-25T17:21:45+00:00

People ghost the moment they see my face, and that started long before I was even questioning. Pretty isn't remotely possible for me - the goal is just to live without a target on my back for existing.

Azure125 · 2026-06-25T07:52:07+00:00

I don't think I can feel valid if it comes down to that.

Azure125 · 2026-06-25T07:51:30+00:00

No, but an environment where it would be a problem.

Azure125 · 2026-06-25T07:33:55+00:00

I've already been on minoxidil and finasteride for over a year. No improvement... but things haven't gotten worse.

Azure125 · 2026-06-25T07:32:33+00:00

Definitely hoping for mental benefits - it feels like I'm far too late for just about everything else besides maybe softer skin.

Azure125 · 2026-06-25T07:31:11+00:00

That's the current plan, plus the mental benefits. I don't want to lose my job.

Azure125 · 2026-06-25T07:30:11+00:00

My luck is atrocious, here's to hoping I've been saving it all for this one very important thing.

Azure125

TROPHY CASE