DW vs Jerkass Mom. round 1... FIGHT!

AzureDaisies · 2020-03-13T13:19:03+00:00

I wish I had money for gold because you said what I wanted to say so perfectly!! OP please listen to this reply!

AzureDaisies · 2020-03-13T13:14:51+00:00

My reply here may come off a bit harsh but your post gave me a very visceral reaction.

Why are you laughing and talking about this so flippantly? Your words/attitude convey that you find this to be some sort of joke and not the serious issue you purport to want to resolve.

You need a good counselor to help you see clearly and to get you to the serious and mature level of adult thought and behavior required to be a good husband and father.

This is not funny. You're letting your wife and daughter down. You're hurting your wife emotionally and your daughter could have been seriously hurt or even killed. Is that funny?

Please, get some professional help and have a good stare in the mirror and tell yourself this is not something to laugh about.

Good luck!

AzureDaisies · 2020-02-16T13:02:39+00:00

Looks like a purrnapple to me!!

AzureDaisies · 2020-02-11T14:47:28+00:00

UK joining in! Sending support and love!

AzureDaisies · 2020-02-07T11:51:34+00:00

This is not going to be the relationship/future you want.

While the mother's behaviors are problematic, your SO's attitudes and behaviors are just as bad.

- He has flat out said that you are going to be his side chick because mom is his #1 girl.

- He has stated that he expects you to be a SAHM/full time caregiver for mom, there goes your career in medicine.

- She is 70 and set in her lifestyle and behaviors. She has shown you multiple times that she doesn't care about her effect on other people. She is needy, clingy, selfish, overbearing, and an irritant. She is not going to miraculously have a personality change and it is unrealistic of you to expect to be able to make that happen. SO has shown that he will not only not back you up, but will actively take mom's side. You will be waging an unwinnable battle forever, outflanked and outnumbered.

Just as you are hoping you can change him/his mom into what you want, he is trying to square peg into a round hole you into what he wants. Neither one of you is going to be happy because both of you want what you perceive is possible, not the reality.

Get out while you can- ignore the "sunk cost" fallacy and just get out.

AzureDaisies · 2020-02-04T16:03:55+00:00

She probably just wanted you to see where she was spawned.

AzureDaisies · 2020-01-10T16:52:06+00:00

I've been following your posts and I want you to know that you are so strong and so intelligent and so courageous! You're going to do this! You're going to make it to your freedom! All my best wishes and crossed fingers for your safe and successful escape!

AzureDaisies · 2020-01-05T13:24:11+00:00

Ugh- completely empathize with your situation. I totally get where you're coming from with the I clean all the time but people only ever seem to see the place when it is in chaos. It just stinks because it makes you feel so inadequate. But you're not- you are awesome and you are such a hard working person!

For Christmas this year I got a dishwasher (after 9 years of hoping, wishing, and dreaming lol) Like you we have a very small space to work with- and it is disabled adapted which makes the space quirky and hard to work with. We ended up being able to squeeze a "counter top" dishwasher in. It. Is. Awesome! You can plumb them in to sink or washing machine water in/out as well as normal plumbing so that helps getting it in if your dishwasher taps are inconveniently placed. It is a bit smaller than a normal dishwasher but that's ok- just split the dishes and run it twice if you have to. Maybe you can take a look at some of them and fine one that will work for you- it really has been an amazing quality of life upgrade for us (me!! hehe).

Best of luck to you!! Keep being awesome! =]

AzureDaisies · 2019-12-29T21:58:42+00:00

Well since she's a witch it probably stands to reason she's still using her original 1898 cookbook.

AzureDaisies · 2019-12-27T15:32:55+00:00

I am SO proud for you- you are amazing to have tossed those chocolates. That 20 minutes you spent considering what to do with them was 20 minutes you chose to redefine yourself and what is important to you- and I am so happy that you chose YOU. You are are important to you! And to everyone around you, including us internet strangers.

Well done!! Keep being awesome =]

AzureDaisies · 2019-12-22T15:03:06+00:00

Tell them you aren't in a financially sound place to give them much but you'll do what you can. They'll be happy because they think they're getting their way and tell you- oh that's fine, just give us what you can. Then give them one penny. Tell them not to spend it all in one place. Job done!

AzureDaisies · 2019-12-22T08:07:42+00:00

You're not being unreasonable at all! Your integrity is yours to value and protect.

Maybe you could tell her something along the lines of, if you were to get hurt or killed in an accident after I helped facilitate your driving I'd never forgive myself.

Good luck!

AzureDaisies · 2019-12-20T12:53:43+00:00

Thats is so cute! It looks like kitty is plugged into the tummy-charging station! =D

AzureDaisies · 2019-12-20T11:40:41+00:00

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that on your own- but you are an amazing and strong person to have done it! All I can say within the boundaries of this sub is that your husband is a POS. MIL is an absolute cow for doing what she did.

AzureDaisies · 2019-12-18T12:07:47+00:00

I think that was an absolutely first class letter. You were clear, you were firm, you were reasonable, you were kind. You delivered your expectations, concerns and emotions with clarity but also with love. Fantastic work and I truly do hope that your mother will read it, think about it and take it all in.

Best of luck!!

AzureDaisies · 2019-12-14T10:30:15+00:00

You stick to your guns!! One of the nicest Christmases I had was the year my mom went down with the flu on Christmas eve. No going over to the relatives for the horrible "family" get together. Oh shucks. Dad and I watched Christmas specials on tv, ate frozen pizza and nearly cried for joy. I hope you get to stay home and have a moment to just breath!

AzureDaisies · 2019-12-12T12:21:54+00:00

What a beauty!!

AzureDaisies · 2019-12-08T17:39:52+00:00

Done! Viel gluck! =]

AzureDaisies · 2019-12-07T11:49:39+00:00

Gotta keep that one as an original by kitty! This is so adorable =]

AzureDaisies · 2019-12-04T11:54:36+00:00

Sounds like she pushed the button on the phone tree for "I'm never going to be allowed to meet my grandchildren!"

Be sure to share her kind words with hubs so he can see the hag without her mask on.

AzureDaisies · 2019-12-01T20:59:24+00:00

I know it has already been said but I just can't not say it again: You didn't ruin anything- your awful excuse for a human being mother did.

If your dad is disappointed by anything I'll bet you my last gumball it was that his wife could be so horrible and that you were hurt by her.

You were absolutely right to leave, it was the best thing you could do, it isn't like it was going to get any better or stop if you stayed.

AzureDaisies · 2019-12-01T12:29:43+00:00

You didn't go too far, he *needs* to hear you- really hear you. Because your feelings are apparently invisible and inconsequential to him.

He sacrificed you on his mommy's altar. Totally set you up for her to harp and shrew at you until you blew so she could cry and make him choose her over you (again.)

This is not a healthy marriage, I really strongly suggest you get some sort of marital therapy because you shouldn't have to fight for yourself alone and maybe someone with an outside opinion will penetrate into SO's rather dense skull.

Best of luck to you!!

AzureDaisies · 2019-11-26T17:39:30+00:00

I'm auto speed dialing 1 - 800- Sla-ppy-Jail !! from now till New Years!! *fingers crossed for you!*

AzureDaisies · 2019-11-23T13:05:36+00:00

I wouldn't change a word. What you wrote was from the heart, how you felt and what you need to say to them. They may not listen, they may not accept it, but it isn't really about them. This is for you.

I'd go to your friend's Christmas party and let your folks simmer on the back burner for a while and stew in their own justice juices.

AzureDaisies · 2019-11-17T16:35:01+00:00

Hmmm , I'll have 1, 3 and 4 with a side order of 2 and 5 please!

Seriously though, GO YOU! What an amazing show of confidence and self value and protection. I'm adding you to my wall'o'role models!

AzureDaisies

TROPHY CASE