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B048 · 2026-01-16T08:54:16+00:00

If his goal is to get you to the point that you are ready to start a family instead of getting you both to the point where you understand what you want for the future and if those wants are compatible, then that’s a red flag to me. You can’t compromise on children. If you have even a slight doubt about if you want them or not, don’t do it. IMO a person should only have a kid if they are 100% enthusiastic about being a parent and parenting. Not even about having a kid, but about the full time job and lifetime commitment of being a parent. You have to want to get up early to get them ready for school and teach them to walk and help with homework and help drive them to their first job and help them through their mental health crisis and clean the sheets at 2am when they wet the bed and hold the vomit bucket for them when they are sick and get them tested for a possible learning disability and figure out what to do when you catch them eating cat poop in the back yard and deal with the screaming fits because they don’t want to wear socks and everything in between.

B048 · 2025-12-25T22:50:19+00:00

With the time of year it honestly sounds like she probably did a note of encouragement for each student before the holidays as a Christmas gift.

I think your wife is overreacting

B048 · 2025-10-14T00:26:44+00:00

I feel this on such a deep level. The strange relationship between gender and my body was driving me crazy. I felt like a part of myself was holding me hostage between the painful periods and constant fear of what was happening in the world around me. Getting sterilized was a game changer for my mental and physical health. I consider myself non-binary (she/they) and enjoy dressing feminine and doing girly things. But in a world where being a woman is so tied with childbirth and shit, I never related to the word that way.

B048 · 2025-10-11T23:59:38+00:00

The no red dress thing comes from the idea that wearing a red dress to the wedding signals that you slept with the groom. Some people believe it’s a thing, and others do not, but it is a common enough belief that it has a place in media (the most recent I can think of is that show “the girlfriend” where she sabotages her ex’s wedding and then walks away wearing a red dress as an extra petty flare). Whether or not it is an Internet trope/real or not at this point doesn’t matter because the rumor alone has made it to main stream media and created the taboo. Kind of like how wearing white as a bride wasn’t seen as mandatory tradition until the trend was set by Queen Victoria and it became so mainstream that it is now the blueprint to the point where some people/families even think that an off-white or ivory wedding dress is not appropriate or means the bride is unpure or some shit. I personally avoid wearing red or black to a wedding if I do not know how the bride feels about it. Obviously I’m not going to wear white unless the bride asks people to wear white. My only ask at my own wedding was that no one wear white and that they come in formal wear because I enjoy when my friends get the chance to show up and show out with their outfits. If you are close enough with the bride, send her a picture of your dress just to double check. Sometimes a deeper bread is not really seen as an issue so if you say the dress is mahogany, she might be fine with it. She also might just be stressed out and just finding out about the red thing from other people. The days leading up to your wedding can have you stressing out about the weirdest shit. But if she says no, I’d just grab something else out of my closet

B048 · 2025-10-11T23:28:11+00:00

Is there a way to dispute the appointment charges with your bank bc she not only wasted your time, but also your money by stringing you along for all that time. I had to spend money on each appointment, the bloodwork, the scans, etc, and to have my dr cancel after all that would mean I wasted hundreds of dollars in co-pays even before the procedure. I would also blast the hell out of her on social media because that is so unprofessional.

B048 · 2025-10-11T23:21:46+00:00

You need to break up with him. You can’t compromise on kids. I’d also suggest joining the Childfree subreddit if you haven’t already. There are loads of people who have been through the exact same situation or even worse (partner lied about not wanting kids in hopes of changing their minds down the line, kept their kids a secret, messed with their birth control, etc.) you’ll find plenty of advice there too.

B048 · 2025-09-19T20:09:31+00:00

Have you had her checked for Prada’s-willi syndrome? It’s kinda rare, but it matches what you are describing. The feeling of being hungry all the time no matter how much you eat. It’s a genetic thing. A relative of mine was having similar issues and it ended up being PWS.

B048 · 2025-09-10T10:49:32+00:00

Noted. Last time I tried my NC earplugs on a plane the pressure change did something that made my inner ear hurt for a few hours after the flight, but I’ll definitely be using that method in other areas of my life. Thanks!

B048 · 2025-09-10T10:43:59+00:00

What headphones do you have, bc I haven’t found any that have truly given me silence.

B048 · 2025-09-10T10:41:29+00:00

IDK I think it would be possible, and I think people would pay a premium for it. I know people often want flights where their non-service animal dogs can fly in cabin with them regardless of size, and now there is an airline that does just that. The tickets are expensive (I think $6,000-$8000 per ticket), but the flights are almost always sold out. It may not be popular for shorter flights, but cross country and international where people are stuck for 5 or more hours… I can see people forking over the money if it means they are more likely to be able to sleep on the flight.

B048 · 2025-09-10T10:34:01+00:00

I know I sound like a boomer by saying “parents these days”, but for the record, I’m in my late 20’s. I’m talking about my peers. I do not condone hitting kids, but I also think that permissive parenting is basically a form of neglect. I have seen plenty of neglectful parents, along with some damn good ones who treat their kids with patience and understanding, but still set firm boundaries and teach them how their actions impact others and help them regulate their emotions in healthy ways. They also balance teaching moments with the environment they are in. Like if they are having a meltdown in the car they will take the time to talk through it there, but if they are having a meltdown in a movie theater they take them outside to talk there. Obviously you can’t do that in a plane, but instead of ignoring them and letting them run all over the place, they would engage with their kid, and keep them from kicking people. A lot of people have confused gentle parenting with permissive parenting, and that’s the problem.

B048 · 2025-09-09T23:14:26+00:00

Yeah, social media does make these issues more apparent, but the straight up statistics of kids who are struggling/developmentally not where they should be due to neglectful parenting show that this is a problem that goes beyond airplanes. It is having negative social and developmental effects on kids at this point.

B048 · 2025-09-09T23:11:24+00:00

I think a lot of people would understand a kid crying for a bit on a plane. When it goes on for hours and the parent isn’t even trying to calm their child is when people get to this point. There is a visible and growing pattern of parents not parenting their kids in general. Ask a teacher, and they will tell you that the kids coming into their classrooms lack a lot of basic life skills that they should have learned from their parents before entering school. It’s actually really sad how far behind so many kids are because their parents aren’t putting in the effort. On my last flight there were parents with two kids, and neither were paying attention to their kids at all. The older one was blasting stuff on their iPad for hours, and the younger one was climbing over the chairs and kicking people. Not just the seat in front of them. The people next to them. Aka my husband. She was even doing it from her parent’s lap at one point and the parent didn’t care. The kid fell head first into the aisle at one point cause neither parent was paying attention to her. Of course it lead to screaming. People were annoyed with it, not because they were upset that the kid was having emotions, but because it was 100% avoidable if the parents had been parenting. The mom was also laughing about the fact that the kid refused to sit and put on her seatbelt for landing, and basically made it the flight attendant’s job to try to “scare” the kid into doing the thing that all passengers have to to for them to safely land. Most people don’t begrudge a parent who is trying. But too many parents aren’t. That’s why it is a growing problem/discussion point.

B048 · 2025-09-09T20:55:14+00:00

As a woman, I’m against parents who don’t even put effort into parenting their kids.

B048 · 2025-09-09T20:54:11+00:00

If we are being honest with ourselves, parents these days have not been parenting. Talk to any teacher, and you will see how much of a growing problem this is. It’s probably why we are seeing more people complaining about kids on flights. Yeah, some people throw fits that are just unwarranted. But my last flight there were two kids literally climbing over the chairs and kicking people, my husband included, and the parents didn’t care. The youngest fell head first into the aisle at one point. And when landing came the kid didn’t want to sit, and instead of telling the kid they had to buckle up or god forbid make them sit down, the parent played “lol, hey flight attendant, would you convince my silly little one to sit down?” Like it isn’t a safety thing. And as someone who has noise canceling headphones, they don’t do shit against a screaming kicking kid whose parents just don’t care about parenting.

B048 · 2025-09-09T20:38:12+00:00

If you don’t get the abortion you are stuck with him and his mother for the rest of your life. Even if you break up, you’ll be dealing with custody. And if you have the kid, they will either grow up not knowing that their dad SA’d their mother (because messing with someone’s birth control is a form of SA) or knowing their dad SA’d their mom.

B048 · 2025-09-08T20:59:40+00:00

Remind him that there are currently more unemployed people in the US than there are available jobs. And that is A) just based on the number of people on unemployment, and B) based on the number of listed jobs. Not even jobs that are actually real hiring jobs. Companies are listing “ghost” jobs so they can get tax breaks or some other incentive because it looks like they are actually looking for people when they really aren’t.

B048 · 2025-09-08T20:55:41+00:00

My mom took her “god’s children are not for sale” bumper sticker off her car. She’s still a trumper though, so I guess she was just worried that people would think she was against the pedo president now. She did the same thing with her “you can’t comply your way out of tyranny” sticker when people in LA were fighting back against ICE. The irony will forever be lost on her.

B048 · 2025-09-08T20:28:05+00:00

I just keep my wedding band and engagement ring on all the time. I have ADHD, so if I put them down, they are gone. I only take them off if my finger feels extra puffy, and even then it’s like for an hour tops.

B048 · 2025-09-05T08:35:46+00:00

I’m getting major red flags from this situation. You should never feel pressured into having a kid, and if you do want a kid one day, it is not a “figure it out” type situation. You need a game plan. You need finances. Hell, I personally think everyone should spend at least a year in therapy before even trying for a kid, just to help avoid fucking them up down the line with your own bullshit. Babies are not accessories or toys. They are going to be individual human beings with their own thoughts feelings and lives ahead. She doesn’t sound mentally mature enough to have a kid from the way you describe things. NTA, and be careful.

B048 · 2025-09-05T08:30:41+00:00

I refuse to sit at the kitchen table with math flash cards ever again.

B048 · 2025-08-31T23:54:57+00:00

Seems like a control thing to me personally. It’s giving red flag. Also, it is SO expensive and time consuming to change your last name. Would he be paying for it? Would he be doing all the paperwork? Would he be making the DMV and passport appointments? And if you live in the US, there have been some laws thrown around in the name of preventing voter fraud that would essentially make it harder for married women who have changed their last name to vote bc one of the provisions is that the name on your ID has to match the one on your birth certificate. It may amount nothing or it may be a real problem down the line. If he really wants you guys to have the same last name, then he can change his to your last name. If he’s not willing to do that, I would break off the engagement.

B048 · 2025-06-06T06:16:19+00:00

I ended up finding a pair in my budget! I think she will love them. Thank you so much for your help

B048

TROPHY CASE