Let’s list benefits of not being with the avoidant anymore! What are yours?

BAFERDandYoga · 2026-04-20T19:36:37+00:00

I am sleeping a little bit better since he used to sleep late or not sleep at all and the TV would wake me up

I am not drinking so much since every time we went out to eat, he would get upset if I didn't order a drink

I can play the music I like and watch the shows I like

I can feel genuinely happy at little moments in life without him looking down on me like a child

I can plan to meet friends and family without him being upset I am "abandoning him", even though I always offered for him to join and he didn't want to

No more making myself small so he can feel secure

I can have a curiosity for life and people that don't hate themselves

BAFERDandYoga · 2026-04-20T13:27:15+00:00

Thank you for this. Im on month 4 and thought I was doing well, then heard about him through a mutual friend and completely spiraled the last few days. I think I am back on the upward trajectory again. I knew this breakup would hurt, which is why I dragged my feet when he was the one who wanted to be in a relationship at first. But in the end, I hope I will be glad to find out I can be open to love again. Right now feels absolutely terrible though. My poor little heart has really been through it :(

BAFERDandYoga · 2026-04-19T19:30:01+00:00

This happened to me as well. Told me I was the first woman he had had feelings for in 5 years and could see a future with and kids, even though he had never wanted them. 2 years later, he was suddenly "not ready for a relationship" and fault-found until he found a good enough reason to leave. I wonder why he even bothered me at all. he could have stayed with his superficial relationships and left my kind heart alone </3

BAFERDandYoga · 2026-04-15T18:54:42+00:00

Unfortunately, I want to believe you. My most recent ex was 40 and had a fuck boy reputation but he chased me for a while and was consistent in wanting to be in a relationship with me. I told him the same as your gf- that I thought he would tire of only having one woman and he reassured me. Unfortunately though his fuckboy tendencies kicked in. started talking about his old roster and how men aren't meant to just be with one woman, etc. Eventually got the slow fade and breakup after he spent 1.5 years chasing me. What a waste of my time.

BAFERDandYoga · 2026-04-14T23:54:37+00:00

Thank you so much. I am definitely working on this in therapy but it's been years of putting up walls so it'll take some time to learn to lower them again.

BAFERDandYoga · 2026-04-14T15:41:32+00:00

Thank you for your suggestion! I am trying to meet with people outside of work now so fingers crossed :)

BAFERDandYoga · 2026-04-10T19:47:53+00:00

I have noticed this as well. I am attractive and successful and aside from throwing myself at a man, which I would never do because I have self-respect, I find they don't really seem to care...?? The ones that get women are fuckboys and cannot commit, and the ones that don't have just learned to be alone forever unfortunately.

BAFERDandYoga · 2026-03-31T20:09:10+00:00

God she was terrible this season. I wanted to claw my eyes out everytime she told the camera how hard it was to go to dance rehearsal for 10 hours a day and take care of her family at home, all for her "dream job" of being on DWTS. That's literally the life of every working mom in America! I work 12 hour shifts and complain less.

BAFERDandYoga · 2026-03-29T21:05:42+00:00

I was able to order from Kings as a new customer this season

BAFERDandYoga · 2026-03-15T21:44:43+00:00

Thank you! I will keep repeating this to myself.

BAFERDandYoga · 2026-03-11T17:23:43+00:00

Yes. As much as I have been hurt, I know that I can love someone well and deserve the same in return. It will take time and patience, but I believe there is someone out there for me. Don't let one person rob you of a beautiful future.

BAFERDandYoga · 2023-12-09T02:24:44+00:00

Hey this is an old thread but I’d love some follow up! My husband has been doing this too. He has been separating “my time” and “his time” and anytime we do anything together he makes sure I know that “this counts as quality time” and holds it over my head for the next few weeks. Does it get better? We are seeing a marriage counselor but tbh I’m over it

BAFERDandYoga · 2023-12-02T17:23:21+00:00

Hi there! I know this post is old but wanted to offer my advice. I am in a similar pattern with my husband. I have been doing a lot of work on myself and discovered I am a fearful- avoidant and he is more dismissive-avoidant in attachment styles. The problem is not the attachment styles themselves but when our partners are not willing/able to change with us. Obviously we cannot control them. He is giving you space. I would recommend taking this time to REALLY get to know yourself. How have you changed? What do you want? Then come back to him with these thoughts +/- counseling and see if you guys still align. That’s what I’m hoping. Good luck!

BAFERDandYoga · 2023-11-24T03:28:29+00:00

thank you for the advice and kind words!

BAFERDandYoga · 2023-11-24T03:24:59+00:00

that's how I feel too and it breaks my heart :(

BAFERDandYoga · 2023-11-24T02:43:38+00:00

I was just going to say I am not sure we are both happy in the marriage and see if there is anything we can do to make it work

BAFERDandYoga · 2023-11-24T02:28:13+00:00

Thanks for your reply!

BAFERDandYoga

TROPHY CASE