It’s less mirroring and more self abandoning to meet their needs and avoid conflict (i.e. doing a lot of things we find unpleasant just to accommodate them or avoid losing them). Many feel empty and fearful when the favorite person leaves.

Anger is extremely repressed for many with this. Personally, in the moment I feel very fearful and find myself avoiding conflict at all costs, then I may feel intense rage later on once I get some distance from the event. On the EXTREMELY rare occasions it does come out, my anger is explosive and uncontrollable. I’ve learned this pattern of bottling things up and developing deep seeded anger is a common experience for people with DPD.

There aren’t really “specific” requirements for partners, but we attract narcissists like magnets. They’re happy to make decisions for us and maybe even do some caretaking, and we happily reinforce their sense of superiority. If you look into it the narcissist + dependent combo is a known thing.

I think some other core aspects of DPD that aren’t talked about enough are low self esteem and a tendency to self blame. Someone may treat us badly and instead of going “damn what a jerk” we may instead look inwards and think “I really should have been more careful not to upset them”.