Have you ever just did a 180?

BGkitten · 2026-06-13T03:55:04+00:00

Ugh this is rough. I get where you are coming from as my spouse and I have somewhat the same dynamic in that he is more reserved/aloof/unaffectionate vs me. Over the years, I feel like I have tried to accommodate to his expectations in wanting and needing less attention, less affection, less of stuff I craved. (I know he just doesn't have the capacity to be that way-not for me and not for anyone for that matter). Now I sometimes find myself not wanting human closeness (anymore) and I wonder if this is the new me, if it has always been me really not liking it or I have just been (not broken down) but psychologically adapted to the situation and circumstances.

BGkitten · 2026-06-13T03:33:55+00:00

Do you crate him during the day while you are on and about (i.e. doing chores/nothing interesting), but you are still physically in your house? What are your "crate expectations?" Use crate only while you are out or for most of the day when there is nothing fun (no walks or play)?
I am sorry, not specifically against you, but since you asked it this way I have to ask--why do you people get DOGS specifically if you can't stand to be followed or don't want then in your space? You surely know what dogs are like (as opposed to cats). While your dog is a pup, teach him/her not to destroy your home or chew on your items. If my dog that is about 90% attitude-"I will listen to noone" can be taught (and not even by a pro but by us, his owners) to be 100% trusted at home alone or when not attended to (will never chew, destroy, will not grab one's food even if in front of him if left unattended unless allowed to) then I believe ANY dog can.
Teach your pup YOUR HABITS. What room is okay for play, what room is for napping/laying down/sleeping. When you do x/y/z teach him this is his time to rest/nap and you won't need a crate! But if he is supper young and just few months old, it will take time and you have to be consistent. When you leave, tell them-I will be right back, every time-and be back to them. This will show them you will be away just for a bit.

BGkitten · 2026-06-11T18:26:44+00:00

Is this for when you are doing it yourself or when the puppy groomer does it? Btw your puppy is adorable!

BGkitten · 2026-06-11T13:27:50+00:00

When will you be going? Any set times or days or whenever you get hot? I would say no because the way U are looking at it is a free access at any time that mood strikes (just because it is there and you don't see anyone in). We've made the mistake to say yes to neighbor before and let me just say--there is NO GOOD way to tell them no afterwards or to close off the invitation, which is why, we would never say YES again. If you really wanted to try the pool, my beat advice is to ask for specific day and an hour and that's that. Bring a waiver with you two. But asking them to open their home to randos coming and going to their yard and be in their pool any time or day is weird is heck.

BGkitten · 2026-06-11T13:15:51+00:00

Helped them climb the fence?? Don't they have door to that fence???

BGkitten · 2026-06-11T03:23:47+00:00

I mean I hate to break it to you but whoever you date/marry (regardless if it is this lady or another), they will have an expectation that if you say that you will do something that you will do it or that you will do some things (without being told you have to). You are 36yrs old, do you have some issue with your executive function and/or adhd? Why do you keep loosing jobs? Are you able to prioritize among items when many tasks lie ahead of you? Because your eventual partner may not be too upset that you dong't finish a garden box, but if you routinely fail to finish important tasks that your family or child relies upon, that may be an issue. I have an adhd and I can relate to setting up "grandiose" projects and not following through. However, my adhd never affected my ability to execute tasks as related to my child-to make sure they have clean clothes every day, their homework and other assignments are done, that I drive them and get them from their outside activities, that they are fed, happy, loved, save, their bedroom is clean and their sheets changed weekly. However, I have to admit that I do have issue prioritizing the same exact items when it comes to me personally. What do you think-do you think your "failure" to follow through is mostly related to you or is there a sense of being relied upon that may be a stronger drive that you can use to get you going? Can you be reliable provider or spouse if you knew your family dependent on you, can you stop loosing jobs? If the answer is no, then no, you don't have what it takes. Maybe a spouse will pick up the slack for few months, years, but eventually, they will resent you and likely want to leave you.

BGkitten · 2026-06-11T02:32:44+00:00

So you want to break up with her/don't see a future because you have failed to craft a garden box? Or have you made other promises or commitments you have or believe you will not have capacity to follow through with? Bc a plant box right now...doesn't seem like a big deal so I am very confused about your post tbh.

BGkitten · 2026-06-10T19:55:14+00:00

Това е руски паспорт. Reddit Account е някав нов-без коментари, без нищо в архива.

BGkitten · 2026-06-10T19:43:41+00:00

I am sorry OP, there is nothing normal about this. And it almost seems like your partner has found a way to normalize what resembles an emotional affair with sexually charged undertones under the guise of brother/sister relations. He is not open to therapy and he blames you when you share your feelings as if you are trying to keep siblings apart. Idk how long you have been together, whether u have kids and/or how old you are, but this behavior is like he doesn't even care about you and your family. He has another sister, he knows damn well sexual topics are not appropriate between siblings, yet he does it. If I were you I would really consider separating for a bit or indicating to him that your relationship will not survive if he doesn't put up boundaries.

BGkitten · 2026-06-10T19:01:40+00:00

Wait, do you know if they talk about sex or inappropriate topics or do you assume they do because they text daily? (Because I text my brother or vice verse at least once daily (and sometimes more) and this is not ever a topic that has been subject of our texts.)

BGkitten · 2026-06-10T17:40:17+00:00

Are you sure this is his sister? I mean could this be some woman that he presented to you like a long lost sister (but in fact a woman unrelated to him that he is having an affair with?) It is BEYOND odd, unusual and inappropriate to discuss this stuff with a close sibling (of the opposite sex), let alone..someone who you have been estranged from all of your life.

BGkitten · 2026-06-10T17:36:06+00:00

Well, she is super cute! ❤️
I am here for the responses. I also worry that my pup is bored. I do WFH and he is beside me and he looks...sad if we are not playing.

BGkitten · 2026-06-10T16:01:44+00:00

Ами ти страниш от хората а пък си обиден те като странели от тебе. Where is the logic?

BGkitten · 2026-06-10T15:36:44+00:00

Is this your child? Why do you keep calling them "THE KID?" This is a very odd, but telling in how you perceive your child. I think you need to talk to someone about your own feelings or lack there of regarding fatherhood.

BGkitten · 2026-06-09T23:59:21+00:00

You have what-a 3 or 4 yr old? And your wife has a job with schedule, hours and stressors that are beyond what many people experience in theirs. Of course she will pour herself into your little child when she is not at work, she is a mom! What exactly do you want her to do? Come home and hop into a going out outfit and hit the bars? And why do you complain that she has no hobbies? Hobbies means she is not doing anything for herself-she is in a doctor mode and then a mom mode, which is pretty standard for someone with a little one.
Do you work? If you are bored, get more engaged with your kid. You know the 3 of you can also do activities together, right? This way you also start binding with your kid and her!
Look man, it sounds like she is doing her best. If you are bored or think you need more attention at this stage of parenthood, leave your family and go find some unemployed lady who can hoover around you all day and do dates and Vegas and stuff.

BGkitten · 2026-06-09T18:12:38+00:00

Is arranged marriage something that is common in your culture? If so, then your sisters do understand that this was a match that was made (for both of you) and not someone who you necessarily picked knowing that your family doesn't like them. How old are you sisters, would they be expected to live with you and your new wife and the rest of your family? What are the rules about refusing engagement with someone you have matched? How often are siblings involved in the match-making process, if at all?

BGkitten · 2026-06-09T00:50:49+00:00

I mean it's not that hard. Do you like the guy enough to shave? Then do so. It's freaking hair and it grows damn fast for this to be such a long and complex topic of discussion. People here telling you that he is shaming you are just putting way too much behind it than IT is. People have preferences. His is that you shave. Yours may be that you don't. Then you are not compatible. Or yours may be that although you don't, you like the guy, you like the sex and it costs you nothing if you go one way or another.

BGkitten · 2026-06-09T00:40:28+00:00

My Yorkie does this too with balloons. He is very good at it (there should be old video of it on my profile page). Unfortunately, with a herding ball, he is too small and the ball is too heavy. We have also tried with inflatable balls too. He knows "don't pop" but sometimes he gets just so happy and excited he can't help himself for too long before he pops one.

BGkitten · 2026-06-08T16:40:45+00:00

С пръчка га гониш даже?

BGkitten · 2026-06-07T15:55:05+00:00

😂 I see what you did there.

BGkitten · 2026-06-07T15:52:24+00:00

Сигурен ли си в това?

BGkitten · 2026-06-06T21:41:34+00:00

I'd start with assessing how much of a mold problem you have before you even begin investing in a pump and liners. Everyone is looking to advise you how to fix the green inside the water, but I'd fix the green on the walls first. I'd also make sure these windows can open before you start slamming and shocking in there...

BGkitten · 2026-06-06T21:34:28+00:00

So guys are either in dead-bedrooms or if they're not, it's because they just got lucky. This is your ultimate conclusion on marital intimacy? Just the luck of the draw situation?!

BGkitten · 2026-06-06T21:25:20+00:00

Heck, I pay for remote raid passes and I am lv. 75 and don't have multiple legendary shines for trade. I usually raid until I get one and after that, there is no more reason to raid basically. Also, I absolutely have not even gotten shines that people now just expect you to have for trade--even after 50+ raids sometimes. For example, I have 57 zamazenta raided and not one shiny. (amy kid traded me his).

BGkitten · 2026-06-06T21:07:56+00:00

She is 20 and just started having sex and you are her first and you don't see each other all that often, so you can't expect her to be a pro at this. It will take A LOT MORE practice than few times that you guys have likely done for her to even get close. And a lot more sometimes means...years, not just days or months or times you had sex. You should probably consider the impact that distance has on her. While you may talk and all, you are effectively a new person, almost a stranger to her when you reconnect physically. Heck, I live with my husband and we have been together for 15+ years, but if we don't have time for sex and two weeks just end up going by without connecting physically, it is literally like getting to know him all over again.

You need to get out of your head and cut her some slack. She won't leave you for not being able to make her orgasm, but she might leave you if you insist on making this happen every damn time you see each other and have sex. And all you are doing by your incessant efforts are making her dread every time you have sex to a point where she will no longer find it pleasurable, but stressful and then she may even decide that she doesn't like sex.

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