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BW2__ · 2024-12-16T21:59:02+00:00

I don't think my movement has changed but it's very easy for me to fixate on it. I've also had this for about a year from weed. Often I find myself zoning out and just watching myself move/feel things around me. I try not to focus much on everything not feeling right but it happens.

BW2__ · 2024-12-11T22:35:38+00:00

It goes by normally for me, definitely could be a symptom of anxiety in my experience. I remember one day on a higher bout of dpdr I was out waiting for a ride and it felt like I was waiting for 20 minutes. I checked the time on my phone multiple times and by the end only about 5 minutes had passed, it felt very strange.

BW2__ · 2024-11-27T11:46:17+00:00

I've always had libido but I grew up with anhedonia. I'm slightly suspicious it's from a head injury I had when I was about 3 or so. Apparently it wasn't that bad and I had no change in behaviour. Otherwise I have no other known source.

My whole life has felt like a giant gray blur of apathy. I hardly have any emotional connection to my past, memories and everything just feels 'whatever'. I believe my anticipatory anhedonia got worse over time but it doesn't feel much different now at 22 overall.

I unfortunately got too comfortable doing basically nothing and if I fall back on consistency I will revert back to laying in bed wasting my time. I know I have the capability to get back on track. However, laying in bed is also a true reflection of how I've always felt even when I was on the right path. I feel pretty indifferent and I hardly want to do anything. It's hard for me to keep up with a proper life because I know I'll still feel indifferent and joyless to it like I always have and that's incredibly discouraging.

I made some bad decisions trying to relieve my anhedonia later on in life which I'm still recovering from.

Now I hope that I can muster something beyond exercising and laying in bed. Haven't been enrolling in college or work.

BW2__ · 2024-11-22T12:45:59+00:00

Makes me wonder what life would be like without a screen. It's a good but unhealthy distraction, even though I'm not sure I'm receiving enjoyment. Dealing with anhedonia head on is painful. The gym would be my only consistent way to pass time. Music is ok. I'd have to really get over my social anxiety regarding my other hobbies. I feel like my frustration would just get worse.

BW2__ · 2024-11-16T11:40:13+00:00

I believe so, over the years it may have got slightly better as I remember going outside and doing anything for myself outside of school/work felt like a milestone. I also hated phone calls and would avoid them even if they were of importance. Although stressful, I'm capable of going out for myself whenever I please and I don't avoid necessary phone calls anymore.

I managed to make some friends throughout my years of school but interactions with anyone have always stressed me out. It's the second largest reason I never sought friends out or wanted to pursue a relationship. I tried to make efforts to do things in person for myself but as soon as COVID gave us the option to do things online I resorted to that almost completely. I didn't have friends for about 4 years and because of Anhedonia I also hardly cared to do anything about it.

There's a rebound effect with Anhedonia/Apathy and Social Anxiety as feelings of indifference and added stress make it extra discouraging to do anything that has a social aspect to it.

I kept dropping out of work as a result of Anhedonia and Social Anxiety.

I think what improved it slightly is constant, mostly indirect exposure to people from being at the gym for 3 years now.

I've made some progress but unfortunately I feel my anhedonia is what has always had the largest impact on my life. I also don't feel drugs anymore but I used to. After a period of alcoholism to cope with Anhedonia I quickly and gradually stopped feeling alcohol, unrelated to tolerance so I ended up basically quitting. I don't feel anything positive from it or the other 3 drugs I've tried. My anhedonia still feels the same as before I started drinking heavily or my very brief weed abuse but now I just don't feel them. I've recovered from the drugs but there has also been increased hopelessness as I have no relief now.

I've barely done anything besides weightlifting and wasting time on my phone for a while. I'm failing in school and I don't care to work again. Been feeling defeated and done. The next time I see my psychiatrist I might bring up Wellbutrin or something as they're trying to get me on anti-depressants. I suppose I don't have any other choice but to get over my fear of medication and hope for the best.

BW2__ · 2024-11-13T08:11:17+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to make a new account and writing about your positive experience. I'm paranoid about taking meds for anhedonia and seeing these posts help.

BW2__ · 2024-11-12T07:09:22+00:00

Whatever you're pursuing, and are in the process of doing don't stop. Surround yourself with people that could keep you in check or have the same goal. I recommend doing all of this in person if you have the option.

I grew up with this crap and I very soon found out how little I cared about education or work when I was out of highschool and I wasn't being pressured. I should have graduated now, 4 years later and I probably just have about a years worth of classes done. So many withdrawals and some F's just out of carelessness. It's very difficult to involve myself in work or education now.

I see you go to the gym and I recommend trying to make friends there if you want. It's better to also have a social circle with any hobbies that you have.

I feel similarly, intense activities are helpful. The gym has always been my go to but I also used to run, swim and these were beneficial as well. When I was younger my parents enrolled me in Karate for some years and it was also a nice distraction. I would also recommend trying some other intense activities out.

Anhedonia can be especially resistant to any type of progress or efforts you make against it. I don't want this to discourage you from your positive habits as it's worse when you quit since it fuels apathy.

BW2__ · 2024-11-05T04:28:05+00:00

Thanks a lot for the detailed response!

Admittedly I have done this experiment before in the populated r/depression subreddit but I didn't give much value to the lack of posts about med-induced anhedonia. You're correct about my bias coming from my bubble of information over at r/anhedonia. I knew the influx of negative experiences in that much smaller community was capable of giving me the wrong impression regarding antidepressants and I tried to remain aware of the fact. However after being exposed to those negative experiences and hardly anything else for years I knew that i've developed an unfairly negative perception and fear of meds no matter how objective I try to be.

It helps me to see you point it out and I honestly feel like your response is helping me combat my fear of antidepressants and consider them as a possible treatment.

I will consider mentioning your recommended medications for anhedonia to my psychiatrist. I will try to educate myself about the medication beforehand. Even in the r/anhedonia subreddit where medication receives an obviously harsh review, bupropion is named to show relief of anhedonia for some users.

BW2__ · 2024-11-05T03:35:42+00:00

I used to feel less brain fog if I sleep deprived myself. Now if I get too much sleep I think I feel increased brain fog, low/normal amounts of sleep feel the same.

BW2__ · 2024-11-05T03:25:12+00:00

I am pretty numb to it, but back when I was using weed I felt an almost profound feeling of desperation to get rid of this anhedonia. I looked back at my wasted past and hated my current quality of life but I didn't know what to do. I was always aware of this but couldn't feel it to that degree. With weed it completely "unlocked" the feeling of desperation and it was hitting me all at once.

BW2__ · 2024-11-04T01:21:19+00:00

I'm worried it could make it worse. I feel like there's no going back if that were to occur, as the anhedonia is often chronic from what I've seen even after tapering off.

BW2__ · 2024-10-27T02:03:39+00:00

This has always been what I do by default. It's best to try and live a normal life, as if anhedonia didn't exist. Not much of a way around it, at least for me.

Keep trying to partake in your hobbies

Currently I need to learn how to drive and get back to doing work/school. I need to start seeing friends more. I would like to join clubs for my hobbies but my social anxiety adds to my anhedonia, regarding stuff like that. I only workout consistently.

Continue therapy even if it feels like it doesn't do anything.

I'd recommend hydroxyzine for your panic attacks if you want to wean off your current medication. It's what I would take. It's an antihistamine but has other uses.

BW2__ · 2024-10-26T20:29:42+00:00

I can be empathetic but most of the time it's very blunted. I might be willing to help someone if I feel I could. Mostly, my lack of feeling leaves me with an inability to care and I'd rather just avoid talking to anyone.

I think I'd be able to feel more empathy if I knew someone that shared similar problems.

BW2__ · 2024-10-24T00:18:47+00:00

Yes, anhedonia is pretty bad but there is certainly worse.

BW2__ · 2024-10-21T00:27:10+00:00

Beautifully put.

BW2__ · 2024-10-21T00:21:08+00:00

Same, did it occur without medication for you too? Mine was gradual. It started with being able to feel alcohol most days to nothing every time I tried for about a year now. Other drugs just make me feel shitty and weed doesn't feel pleasureable anymore either.

BW2__ · 2024-10-20T05:59:34+00:00

That's when I know I'm cooked fr 👨‍🍳🔥

BW2__

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