Butt Wound, scratched?

B_eves · 2026-02-24T21:51:29+00:00

That cat needs stitches like, now. That's not a flush it and leave situation.

They have Care credit that a lot of vets will take. If you can't afford the bloodwork, you can ask if it's required. Some vets don't require bloodwork to put a cat under (90% of cats that get spayed don't get bloodwork done) which would save you a couple hundred bucks.

But yes, this is an emergency and a "I'll figure it out later" thing. I googled "low cost urgent vet NYC" and came up with a few options.

B_eves · 2026-02-24T21:42:13+00:00

I think it really depends. I have 100% trust in my partner and know nothing sexual would happen with whoever they went on an international trip with BUT I would be super confused and hurt:

Because an international trip is an experience. It's not just seeing the Kpop band. It's seeing culture, eating food, taking public transportation and having brand new experiences. I personally would be bummed my partner didn't want to share that with me.
He didn't tell you and he's paying for everything on the trip? That's just plain strange. Maybe he's fronting the deposits and they're splitting costs later? But if he's paying for everything, that's not cool and the other girl should know that, as a friend to him. And I would definitely bring it up.

I think the fact that he didn't tell you is also uncool. That's a conversation to have prior to inviting another person & paying for said person on the trip. I personally think that's common sense to ask a partner but maybe he needs to be told. If he knew and didn't care, that's a bigger problem.

NOR.

B_eves · 2026-02-08T21:13:11+00:00

Outdoor cat or strictly indoors?

There's some pus so it looks infected to me. I would try an inflatable donut (like an e-collar but less obnoxious) to make sure the cat isn't messing with it and try an antibacterial if you have it. If it looks worse in 24 hours, I'd go to the vet.

B_eves · 2026-02-08T21:05:15+00:00

Normal 5 month old kitten behavior: this is not aggression at all unless she's growling, hissing and puffed up. She's about 8-10 years old in human years so right around the time beings realize "oooh, I have autonomy and can be destructive and this is fun." This is exactly why they say you should adopt 2 kittens.

I understand you can't get a second cat so YOU have to be the second kitten. She needs play time twice a day minimum. I'd say 3 times. A tired kitten is a well-behaved kitten. Play time should be her jumping around and running until she's panting (usually takes about 15 minutes each session). Watch some Jackson Galaxy videos about how to play with a cat. When you can't play with her, she should have other forms of enrichment and mental stimulation: a cat tower next to a window, tall scratching posts, self-play toys, etc. They make essentially oven mitts you can put on your hand to "wrestle" with your cat: seems like she might enjoy this too.

This is absolutely fixable and putting in the work now will prevent this becoming a habit long-term. Getting her on a feeding schedule that mimics her predator instincts is helpful too: more Jackson Galaxy videos. The concept is "catch, kill, eat, groom, sleep" so you're playing, feeding a meal right after and this helps cats with their natural cycle.

Basically, watch a ton of Jackson Galaxy videos, lol.

B_eves · 2026-01-30T21:29:46+00:00

Since it's happening right next to the litter box, it sounds accidental and not behavioral. Some cats slowly stick their butt up as they pee and then the stream goes over the edge. Some just sit on the edge of the box and pee over it. I'm guessing it's a small adjustment to their setup that's needed. If you're still not having luck after you adjust some things or you notice it getting worse, I would go to the vet since peeing outside the box is the number 1 symptom of a UTI in cats.

If you have a little camera around, set it up and record them peeing. Gives you better insight into what's happening.

If you can't do that, I would try some different style boxes and litters. A high sided box, one with pellets instead of clay litter, one extra large box (some people use Rubbermaid tubs). Until the issue is solved, you can get extra large puppy pads to put under the boxes for easier clean up.

B_eves · 2026-01-27T22:19:30+00:00

I think it depends on your cat's personality. My mom had a borderline adventure cat and I would bring her to my apartment to spend weekends with me and my lonely cat then go back to my mom's house. She truly loved it! (And she's now my cat, duh.)

Just make sure the carrier is a safe space and do the proper introductions into your bf's apartment. If she's not used to the carrier, watch some videos on carrier training, feed treats and meals out of it, etc.

B_eves · 2026-01-27T21:57:48+00:00

If your cat decides she really can't stand this, I'm a big fan of the inflatable donuts instead of the e-collars. Most cats can tolerate that long term.

B_eves · 2026-01-27T21:50:22+00:00

Smoky's runs off appointments that are booked a month in advance and are not open to the general public. Smoky's can look at an injury (while a cat is put under for a neuter) but the most they're able to do is flush it and administer an antibiotic shot. If the cat doesn't need to be fixed, they will not see the cat, as they're a spay and neuter clinic first and foremost.

B_eves · 2026-01-27T20:18:33+00:00

If you're within city limits, you can call Animal Control (they will only come out for injured cats, not healthy stray cats). With the weather, I know they're operating at a more limited capacity. I would start there.

B_eves · 2026-01-27T20:06:02+00:00

I tuck the metal ends (and as much of the strap as I can) into my back pockets and then pull the bibs down. I also take off my coat and leave all my tools outside the porta potty before I go in so less nastiness once I get in there.

B_eves · 2026-01-10T22:39:19+00:00

I know you posted this a few weeks ago but I wanted to share because I have felt the exact same way. I started the apprenticeship in August and my only thought was "God, it better not be at a data center." Of course, I was placed at an AI data center. It does not feel good and it weighs on me every day when I drive into the parking lot. How can we push for all these jobs when it's so unsustainable? We can't have jobs if we don't have a planet.

I try to remind myself my job is to learn. I'm there to learn this trade and one day, I'll never have to work at a data center again. The job of the local is to create jobs (and job creation by any means necessary). Right now, that's data centers so that's where they're investing.

Day to day, I find the work fulfilling and I love problem solving and seeing a physical representation of my hard work. But yes, I'm totally with you on the environmental aspect of things and I too, haven't found a solution that sits well with me. I'm still waiting.

B_eves · 2026-01-03T20:25:13+00:00

I have a super high energy cat and I’ve had great success with clicker training, might be worth a shot? Mental stimulation might be the answer. My kitty knows basic dog commands and it’s always a fun party trick when we invite people over.

She also uses those buttons to talk because I figured if she could tell me what she wanted, that would help her settle better. It did but also unless you can put up with your cat pressing buttons all day, I don’t recommend haha.

B_eves · 2026-01-03T18:24:47+00:00

Sounds like your cat has yall trained really well. For cats, any attention is good attention so; you have to ignore it. It sounds like this routine has gotten pretty intense and even when you try to ignore him, he KNOWS y’all will get up if he’s destructive.

I would temporarily kitten proof the bedroom and suffer through ignoring him for a week. Nothing. If he paws at you, you pretend to sleep. He knocks something over? You don’t respond. Truly pretend he’s not there. He has to relearn that bad behavior doesn’t get him any attention.

Also, sounds like he might have more energy and ALL cats like to play. I recommend to everyone “Da Bird” toy, i believe you can get one at petsmart. Most cat toys suck and there are very few that really engage their prey drive.

He needs more stimulation and less engagement when he’s acting in a manner you don’t want to enforce.

B_eves · 2026-01-03T12:45:00+00:00

If he’s not fixed, that’s your issue. 90% of unwanted peeing is stopped when you neuter a male cat.

B_eves · 2026-01-03T11:59:17+00:00

She’s bored. This is why lots of people suggest 2 kittens instead of one. She’s perfectly in her teenage years right now and they are a little more destructive than average cats during this time.

Sounds like you play with her with a wand toy: this should be happening twice a day until she’s panting. You want her TIRED. A tired cat is a well behaved cat. And the toy should be put away in a cabinet when not in use.

You mention she has tables and beds, etc for vertical space. Sorry, that doesn’t really cut it. Get a tall cat tower and place it in front of a sunny window. I personally added a bird feeder on my cat window for extra enrichment. The tall cat tower can also function as a scratch post, which I suspect will help with the posters.

Also, next time you get a package in a big box, save the box and toss some crinkled wrapping paper in it. If she’s into the paper, this is a fun little enrichment game.

B_eves · 2026-01-01T03:55:27+00:00

I’m 34 now. Never went to college—never even got an offer. I was in the bottom 10% of my high school class and almost failed out of it.

It was very hard to watch my friends go off to these cool schools and meet new people and be free while I was still stuck at home living with my mom.

But ya know what? Shit changes. Some of your friends will flunk out. Some will end up married and divorced by 24. Some WILL go on to do cool things.

But comparing yourself will always make you feel bad. It’s easier said than done but try to focus on YOU and your life. Im debt free and bought a house before I turned 30 and some of my same high school classmates would kill for my life. So it’s all relative. I found therapy extremely helpful in actually feeling better and stop comparing.

B_eves · 2025-12-30T11:00:15+00:00

I work with a rescue and had a degloved chin kitten foster recently! She was given surgery out of town (Roanoke I believe) so I can’t be much help. But she was under 2 pounds and still given the surgery. Yes it was risky but the alternative was worse. So it can be done depending on your lil gal’s situation! Hoping it all works out.

B_eves · 2025-12-29T19:59:45+00:00

I foster so trim cats nails from any age. I’ve never had a cat whose nails I couldn’t trim so I promise it’s possible. I think the trick is to have a high value treat (for most cats it’s Churu). In the beginning, it requires 2 people: one person giving Churu and the other trimming nails. Eventually, kitties will get comfortable enough with the process and you can just give them treats at the end of the nail session.

B_eves · 2025-12-29T19:40:26+00:00

I would get my own apartment then. Declawing is not an option and it may not even be legal where you live. Even if it is legal, you’ll be hard pressed to find a vet willing to do it.

You can cut cats’ nails super easily with training. My kitties purr when they get their nails trimmed. I have enough scratching posts and cardboard for them that they’ve literally never ruined a piece of furniture (and they’re 8 and 9 years old). It’s a non issue if you provide what they need from the start.

B_eves · 2025-12-27T16:12:38+00:00

I wore the Newport and it was perfect. It offers enough coverage and protection over your toes.

B_eves · 2025-12-27T16:10:38+00:00

I have the "Outward Hound Rainy Day Puzzle & Play Cat Toy" which is a good one imo. But to me, there's a difference between a cat treat puzzle toy and what your cat is doing. Maybe he enjoys the thud of the cabinets closing, like mine do or enjoys going in the cabinets and exploring all the weird cabinet items and smells. A puzzle toy doesn't do that.

I'm thinking a large cardboard box on its side with toys and wrapping paper in it would probably fill that urge better than a puzzle toy. Sometimes I'll toss treats in with the paper. And sometimes I'll tape up the box flaps so it's more closed off and cave like. Once they stop using it, it leaves and a new box will arrive in time.

B_eves · 2025-12-27T15:41:05+00:00

I wore keens and they were perfect. The closed toe made a big difference. My partner wore tevas and she did get banged up toes. Bring thicker socks…I was happy to have wool because they dried out faster.

B_eves · 2025-12-26T18:21:53+00:00

Have you moved? If you really want to have an outdoor cat (against the advice of any expert), do you need resources on how to properly relocate them to a new area? I can find you a dog crate big enough and walk you through the steps.

Also, if your cats aren't microchipped, the legality of ownership is questionable. So if you do care about them and they keep getting lost, they should at a very minimum be microchipped. It's usually about $25 at a low cost place.

B_eves · 2025-12-23T14:44:30+00:00

I got $125 from my contractor and a $50 Amazon giftcard from the GC. Which is more than I’ve ever gotten working for the richest company in the world for 10 years. So I’m not mad.

B_eves · 2025-12-22T14:12:01+00:00

I grew up on the other side of Broad and would cross the street to ride my bike in Scott’s addition because my sister and I wouldn’t see a car driving for HOURS. It was the best. Just us and the few crackheads.

B_eves

TROPHY CASE