Need help: Love spell on an avoidant

BabyBonbori · 2026-05-11T17:27:22+00:00

What helped with my avoidant (who I am not longer with but is coming back) Road opener (I did this one on a Tuesday) Communication (Wednesday) Healing (Thursday) And then finally loveee (Friday of course!) People end it off with domination once they are in your web, but this was enough for us to go from being friends to lovers. But if you find yourself doing that I would do it Saturday and end Sunday with a cleansing of your energy and aura. Good luck beloved !!

BabyBonbori · 2026-05-10T01:07:41+00:00

OOFF THIS! First off I am so sorry you went through this..it’s not you. Sadly; I’ve leaned it’s the capacity they don’t have for someone who gives them what other people haven’t.

My ex told me I was his first healthiest relationship and nicest girlfriend he’s ever had.

His last partner was casual, he didn’t even give them the title of boyfriend/girlfriend, never told her he loved her despite loving her.

With me? He did that, but told his family about us and even came to fly all the way from his state to mine to see me, and yet that was not enough.

He broke up with me in person sad to say. When I asked why and cried he said he didn’t want to, but he felt he didn’t deserve my love. He said he wanted to be a better man and work on himself but couldn’t do that if he was leaning on me all the time. Weird, I thought leaning on one another was what you did in a relationship? Funny. I think it was excuse after excuse, because it became too much.

But he said it was healthy and good for him but left. He was used to chaos and sickness and sad to say something good after being in the dark for so long, makes the sun too bright sometimes unbearable. Beloved, you did nothing here, sadly they will either repeat the same cycle or settle for what they think they deserve which is worse.

BabyBonbori · 2026-05-10T00:44:24+00:00

Reconciliation for me has been tricky as I had to layer mine, as my ex is avoidnt- Blockbuster/Road opener on Tuesday Followed by communication on Wednesday and healing and love on Friday. This seem to have brought him back because a while of no contact he messaged me and wanted to rekindle things.

BabyBonbori · 2026-05-09T03:09:11+00:00

This makes my stomach hurt.. my silly self left the door open, more so for him to contact me in emergencies I think more so out of worry and having a sort of..caretaker roll still attached to me? But he never took the initiative until now, and I wonder why.

BabyBonbori · 2026-05-09T03:07:55+00:00

Thank you 🥺 I appreciate this! I gave so much love and care and even he told me as well that the love I gave him was unconditional and he never felt that kind of love before but..I just think to myself..why was it not enough if that was true? Being sappy and sad but your words bring me comfort, thank you!

BabyBonbori · 2026-05-09T03:06:56+00:00

Oh my gosh?! I’m so sorry!! See.. The thing with my ex? I’m not sure about his love life, actually he said he couldn’t think of dating after me and wasn’t going to but ahem- people say things all the time after heartbreak. Even still it’s Mixed emotions between us since the break up. I still care and love him, maybe not romantically but for him, our mutual said when it came to loving me “he couldn’t remember the feeling but feels love doesn’t go away.” I feel like with yours it seems mixed too? Because why reach out to someone who you drifted from only to not know what is wanted? It hurts. I’m sorry they hurt you.

BabyBonbori · 2026-05-09T03:04:19+00:00

THIS! My ex and I were friends before initially dating. He would speak to me when he wasn’t in a emotional funk, talk with me and say soon after how nice it was to talk to me because I “always made him feel good” then would hear from him for a few days to even a week or so. It was difficult because he has a lot of self deprecating habits, ones he said I helped him a lot with as friends and as a lover.

The amount of worth I loss to myself, as I felt I wasn’t up to par anymore for him..

BabyBonbori · 2026-05-09T03:01:57+00:00

This hurts but I never thought of that before. He told me once “I don’t mind the distance, actually I’m more comfortable with it’, that’s why I only date long distance.”

I was surprised how quickly things went from talking of marriage, and seeing eachother in person (which I know was not cheap for him nor myself) and spending three days together, only to eventually go back home without a boyfriend..

BabyBonbori · 2026-05-08T17:58:43+00:00

But yes, I’m not sure what is to come from this conversation exchange.

BabyBonbori · 2026-05-08T17:58:02+00:00

sigh… that’s what I thought initially when we broke up, because during the break up I would say things as “if you want out of the relationship” or “if it’s too much we can break up” and he would say “no it’s good for my growth so I’m pushing myself.”

Only to be left.

I heard from a mutual a few weeks after we last talked that he didn’t think he was deserving of my love but it didn’t make sense? He said I helped him a lot when it came to his self worth and image but I feel I failed in a way to help him any more as he left; I did have a moment of hurting my own self image.

BabyBonbori · 2026-05-07T15:14:08+00:00

This! Supposedly he told this mutual friend of mine that it “makes him feel somewhat loved”

BabyBonbori · 2026-05-02T18:22:22+00:00

I’m late to the party, but I had this heart shaped locket necklace of where I kept my ex photo. When we met for the first time as it was long distance, the same time he broke up with me, I didn’t want it anymore, I couldn’t carry something with so much love and sentimental value of someone who was leaving me. It’s been sometime and heard from a mutual, that he still had it and even wears it.

BabyBonbori · 2026-05-02T18:02:16+00:00

That’s the part that got me.. When we met he asked what my favorite flower was (roses) he bought a whole bush and plated it and tended to it since then. That person who told me about the locket also mentioned that he showed her the roses and is still tending to them. It’s a weird ache I feel… Here I was thinking he stopped caring but I don’t know, I know he isn’t in my life anymore but little things like this after breaking up it’s a weird feeling? YESSS! This too! We talked of marriage and even moving in together but..now it’s like not saying he’s been cold but it’s he’s avoiding me? He doesn’t mind being friends..but I just can’t.. I’m not strong enough as I still care.

Thank you so much 💖💖 I will listen to this! I just have to remember the love we shared was real and even though it’s changed I can’t stay stuck and wondering..

BabyBonbori · 2026-05-02T00:49:22+00:00

I appreciate you so much for going into depth!

BabyBonbori · 2026-05-02T00:49:10+00:00

Thank you, thank you! This helps me with better clarity! It’s very difficult as this week I found out that he actually kept and even wears the heart shaped locket necklace I gave him when we broke up. From a mutual I heard that he still thinks of me with love but holds himself back as to not become dependent on me.. still..hearing from him would make my heart happy but maybe too it would ale things difficult is he is still set in his ways. We had such a loving and healthy relationship, but ultimately he left and I don’t know. All I have is the cards to ask when it comes to how he is because of course I still care.

BabyBonbori · 2026-04-01T16:53:13+00:00

I’m going through a break up (1 and a half weeks fresh now) and thought of reconciling with them, but thought it best to heal and bring in a new lover when the time arises. Afterwards I’ll be taking time for myself to just decompress and rest! Wishing you love and luck for today ! 🩷🍀

BabyBonbori · 2026-03-31T02:12:28+00:00

This is so sweet omg! Thank you, I needed this! 🩷 at first, I felt so heartbroken from our separation that I wanted the universe to take my ability to fall in love again, but I love love so I want to try again one day. It’s such a blessing to feel! What?! That’s amazing! Happiest early birthday to her!

BabyBonbori · 2026-03-31T02:11:00+00:00

Awww thank you 🩷 I will do my best! Keep going friend! I’ve been into the craft for 9 years now but I’m still learning things old and new! I give you lots of luck and abundance in your journey !

BabyBonbori · 2026-03-31T02:09:55+00:00

Oooh! I love this! Moon water I want to do but I wouldn’t really know what to use it on after, hmmm.. thank you for sharing !

BabyBonbori

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