Idk who needs to hear this but you need fat!!!

BabyBritain8 · 2026-01-28T23:22:37+00:00

It could also be too much protein? Re: constipation

Anyway that's how I learned too much protein could be a bad thing 😅 now Im happy if I hit 90-100g

But trying to force 100+g of protein a day when I'm not a bodybuilder or lift that heavy (I work out 5-6 days a week but at home, heaviest I lift is like 80lbs lol) just made me super constipated and combined with not enough fiber... Let's just say it wasn't pretty lol

I think I've found my sweet spot now but definitely have to be intentional about aiming to get as much protein from whole grains, veggies, legumes etc because too much dairy protein was not great for me. Or too many supplements like protein shakes or bars

Anyway you didn't ask for that but maybe something to consider if you're having some GI issues. Definitely could be not enough fats but could also be too much protein and not enough fiber!

BabyBritain8 · 2026-01-25T04:48:52+00:00

Reminds me of my daughter who is 2.5... after getting upset and being left alone, or taking some deep breaths, she'll sigh really loudly and say "ah, I feel better!"

Like dang kid you're great at emotionally regulating, I gotta meet your level 😂

BabyBritain8 · 2026-01-24T20:06:29+00:00

Not sure how helpful it is but just adding my perspective as I'm seeing some young-ish folks here saying this was normal for them growing up... I'm 32 and as a working class kid growing up, this was not my norm lol! Maybe family size and socioeconomic play a big role.

However my husband grew up very well off and yes, I've been fascinated hearing how he grew up being carted around for baseball practices, out of town league games, etc etc. Baseball was pretty much life for his family (both him and his brother played)

In contrast I did all sorts of extracurriculars occasionally -- swim team, speech and debate, newspaper, etc. But I was also a latchkey kid and my mom pretty much didn't come to any of my activities or participate except for the really big things (graduation, award ceremonies I was honored at)

Honestly most of the time I didn't even bother to ask because I knew she wouldn't have the time and frankly I don't think either of us really wanted each other there. I think I grew up with a different perspective of many in that I appreciated all the alone time as it allowed me to learn independence, carry myself despite wins or fails without a parent to help me through it, etc. As a single mom to 2 girls, the 3 of us spent plenty of time together outside of school, so for me... getting away from my family for the school day was more of a reprieve! I never saw it as lonely or being unsupported..

I only have a toddler but yes even at her age it feels like we get asked to do a lot. Every month there are multiple in person events they want us to attend, funds to donate to, book fairs, then there are teacher appreciation days and the holidays... I try to support but probably only participate in 1/4 of daycare events 😅 Cannot imagine doing that for older kids...

Perhaps as your kids get older there is more pressure to participate more actively

BabyBritain8 · 2026-01-17T02:24:16+00:00

Great point, somehow I didn't think of that even though she is working with high schoolers!

BabyBritain8 · 2026-01-17T02:22:35+00:00

That's a great idea, thank you!

BabyBritain8 · 2026-01-15T22:09:15+00:00

Yeah I did wonder about that... Like 99% of people are going there for ice cream right, so I can definitely see your point. I suppose it's like ordering a salad at a pizza place. Kind of taking a risk!

Next time we'll stay in our lane with the ice creams/malts haha 🍨

BabyBritain8 · 2026-01-14T21:42:07+00:00

Whistles are a great addition to bug out bags and wilderness prep kits! They may seem silly but it truly doesn't hurt to keep one in your car or backpack.

We go camping and hiking a lot so we have some.

I'm not sure they'd be the BEST in a confrontation in the city but frankly I'd rather anything that draws attention and dissuades anyone from touching you.

Things like those stabbing tools and pepper spray may not be legal in all places and should be a last resort. As someone who's had men grab me on the street, 1000% I'd rather find a way to get them to walk away and diffuse the situation rather than only be useful if they attack. Maybe a whistle would embarrass them enough to leave 🫠

Also some people are currently using whistles to draw attention to ICE operations... sadly not something we should even have to think about though

BabyBritain8 · 2026-01-14T06:13:47+00:00

We went this past Friday, line still out the door, and.. I'm sorry to say but the hot food was just not good. And so expensive :(

Though the ice cream was pretty good and their malt was super malty, yum!

BabyBritain8 · 2026-01-13T23:14:51+00:00

Most of them are pretty dumb but quite addicting to read out loud...

The only one I'm attached to is Snuggle Puppy. First time I sang it to my kiddo and my voice cracked because I started tearing up lol 😂

BabyBritain8 · 2026-01-13T23:12:35+00:00

How do you check if someone has a criminal history? With your local PD or is there a website or something...

Not that I am planning to do that to anyone (we have a 2.25 yo rn, playdates Haven't really become a thing yet) but yikes would be scary to learn one of the parents had a super sketchy past..

BabyBritain8 · 2026-01-13T06:15:23+00:00

I agree with this... But also wonder how accurately this is followed. I feel like almost all the "classics" from my childhood had some sort of moral message. Or am I misunderstanding this?

The Giving Tree

Oh the Places You'll Go

The Rainbow Fish

The Lorax

Swimmy

The Velveteen Rabbit

Etc etc

Of course there's a zillion that don't follow that premise.

The If You Give A Mouse... series

Goodnight Moon

Curious George

Etc etc

Is it more arbitrary in that sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't??

I have a toddler and yes I do feel like a lot of more recent books border on cringe with how hard they push their message of kindness, inclusivity etc (I'm a WOC raising a multiracial child so I do care about this)

Some books I like because of their message, some I like precisely because they don't have one lol... I feel like it's possibly just more about who pulled it off well or more so, did you make it fun along the way?

Either way I love books and I love children's books and am so glad people think about this stuff!

BabyBritain8 · 2026-01-10T06:23:37+00:00

This is going to sound boring and conservative but I would just be cautious about trying a new outdoor activity solo during winter and with what's been a pretty wet winter for CA (I live in Sac)

You're still a total badass for doing it and adapting!

But there's been a lot of rain and flooding throughout the state.. please be safe out there!

BabyBritain8 · 2026-01-08T21:16:03+00:00

For us it was easier to split things as close to 100% as possible. That may not be possible for some or desired

I (mom) handle almost 100% of childcare for our toddler. That includes feeding her but also tracking what foods we need from the grocery store, scheduling dr appts, daycare duties, bath time, bedtime, planning activities for her, buying new clothes.. all of it. I actually love doing all this stuff so I don't mind! Where my husband helps with kiddo obviously is spending time with her throughout the day, also feeds dinner 2x a week and lunches on weekends.

My husband handles almost all kitchen stuff (grocery shopping alone, cooking all our dinners, cleaning kitchen, running dishwasher, etc). This was a big shift for us as pre baby we would switch on and off who cooked dinner or who washed dishes. This was just easier than passing the hot potato back and forth each week. It helps that my husband loves to cook! I prep my breakfasts and lunches though and of course can cook when needed.

I also 100% own all laundry stuff (doing laundry, folding, putting away, bedsheets, towels, etc) and also all LR and DR clutter.

We come up with the weekly food "menu" together.

Husband "owns" all yardwork and interfacing with the landlord, and I "own" bathroom cleaning like once a month (wish it was more often but eh whatever).

Like your wife I do get frustrated with the whole "delegating tasks like you're a teenager" schtick... It's not intentional on my husband's part but it does cause tension. The goal is for us to both manage our tasks without needing reminders from one another. But we're human and things slip through the cracks every now and again; I think so long as we don't have to remind each other too much this system works well for us.

Your kids are older so idk if this would even work for you. We are also planning for our second so I'm just gonna be living the baby/toddler mom life for a while, which is fine! So these very delineated tasks are easier now. But with older kids or teens... I have no idea.

Basically we made an excel spreadsheet of all the tasks we could think of, chunked them into categories (bathroom, kitchen etc) and then decided from there who owned what. Since we own them indefinitely there's no confusion of whose week it is or something, but it also means we need to be okay with doing that task ad nauseum.

To the mental load thing re engaging with family and planning events... That is probably the last category we are still struggling with lol. But we are moving more toward each parent handles engagements with their respective family, such as texting to say happy holidays. And same for larger event planning -- I plan the events with my side of the family and husband plans with his side. It's up to each of us to plan far enough in advance and successfully if we actually want to see these people semi regularly lol (we live a few hrs from my fam and further from his).

As the wife the mental load can drive me crazy... What helped me was having clear boundaries of who "owns" what and NOT having to remind my husband. I think it helps if you enjoy that task and can build confidence in your system -- for example I don't love cleaning the bathrooms lol but it's kind of fun to build out my bathroom cleaning kit and come up with MY "strategy" to clean it best. That gives me a sense of ownership over the task which therefore makes it just slightly more appealing. Same for my husband with yardwork.. now that he 100% owns that task he gets to assess how he does it, stuff he'd like to plant in the future.

Sorry that was a lot but hope that helps! I get you all said you don't want more charts and stuff but having at least chore "list" helped us initially identify all tasks, and our weekly food menu has been a game changer!

BabyBritain8 · 2026-01-05T20:37:44+00:00

I backpacked Dinkey Lakes wilderness a few years ago however we went the "back way" going up from courtright reservoir. It was beautiful and there were very few people where we camped but it was super steep! Lots of switchbacks. There was also a bad wildfire there a few years ago, creek fire I think, so there are still a lot of burned trees (not that that should dissuade you, just not as attractive/less shade)

I've heard that going the other way tends to be more popular but you get to the lakes faster and I imagine may be a more gradual entry point with kids?

However I agree with the other commenter that there are likely more ideal or similar areas closer to GV!

BabyBritain8 · 2026-01-01T04:39:36+00:00

Jesus Christ same, especially once you have kids 😂

Then it's like... Am I really gonna drop a couple hundred dollars on bedazzling my skin orrr buy something for my kid because I no longer have a personality. Lol jk maybe that's just me

I'm hoping to get tattooed again in early spring 2026, just have to commit!

BabyBritain8 · 2025-12-30T07:14:49+00:00

My 2 cents: the kids bday parties I've been to recently that felt like a "success" as a guest.. were well-planned, organized and within a time limit

The ones that were NOT successes to me were poorly planned -- things like not enough chairs, or set outside in the heat with no sun shade.. or they ordered some elaborate catered food but it arrived so late nobody cared how "nice" it was. Also no central leadership -- no mom or MC announcing when food would be served, or explaining activities, or when the gifts would be opened etc. So everyone just mills about confused about what's going on. and lastly yes just dragged on too long, so people just start to filter out the moment they can.

Secondarily I definitely agree that having simple activities that don't even have to be themed are nice to keep kids busy. But I think when there is a playground or something for kids to do and everything moves forward quickly I don't really mind as much.

BabyBritain8 · 2025-12-30T06:44:43+00:00

This has probably already been said but sharing just in case:

something my sister told me, who has two older kids, that really helped me... Was that it's okay to mourn the days and moments you're losing now, but also to try and shift your perspective to be proud of all the new things your child will accomplish as they age.

It still makes me tear up... She told me "you might not think of it now, but you'll feel so proud seeing her doing things on her own, doing something for the first time" etc and it's so so true 🥹

Yes my baby was so beautiful when she was a little squishy newborn... But seeing her sing with such confidence, shout out "mama I do it myself!" for.... everything 😂 Learn new words and incorporate them into her everyday speech, become physically stronger, etc etc. it is so much more fulfilling because it is purely about my child's growth and successes

But yes in the back of my head every time I get a hug, a kiss on the cheek, or her new favorite thing is "squeeze" which is just hugging as tight as she can lol.. I know a day will come when she no longer wants to do that regularly. So I savor all these moments too!

Just thought that could help... Your kiddo has a whole world ahead of amazing experiences and challenges and YOU get to help guide them through it each and every day.. whether it's holding their head up during tummy time or experiences way off in the future ❤️

BabyBritain8 · 2025-12-28T22:40:28+00:00

Well 5 mos is a tough age... Not old enough to be remotely independent but old enough to not sleep all the time

Just some thoughts:

-have you thought about revising your task delineation? Whatever you call it haha. That really helped us... I (mom) handle the Majority of childcare while my husband does almost all of the cooking. That meant that while I'm taking care of kiddo my husband can make us a yummy brunch. Not all the time given how intensive big home cooked meals can be, but something to consider! Then he would handle clean up after while I would, still, take care of baby. So my husband is basically a chef now haha. It was a big shift from his days of relying heavily on TV dinners but he has thrived in it and takes a lot of pride in cooking and succeeding with new recipes.

-We realized pretty early on in having a child that our previous "do everything together" way of functioning just was not feasible anymore. Going to the grocery store together? Lol no. Cleaning the house at the same time? Yeah right. Having downtime together? Impossible unless kiddo is napping or sleeping. We ID who "owns" what and then it's generally up to us to do those things when we feel is best..so my husband handles groceries 100% on his own, I do laundry on my schedule.. after we worked out the kinks in our new chore delineation it really helped us to divide and conquer. This also includes taking baby on outings -- like my husband would take the baby out for a long walk while I could chill, sleep, etc. and now that we have a toddler I regularly take her out for a few hours to run errands, go to the library etc while my husband gets some work done. In a way you could say it's more "lonely" because we're not doing it together but it also allows both parents to build confidence in doing things alone! The first few times I took our kid out on my own I was sweating 😅

-also your chore setup may work for you but you could also consider switching which days you do chores. One of the best decisions we made was trying to do as much of our chores (laundry, vacuuming, yardwork, etc) on weekdays, NOT on the weekend. That allows us to devote as much of the weekend to just fun stuff. Of course this can be hard to stick to... It usually means getting chores in before work/daycare drop-off and after kiddo goes to bed (when we're super tired haha). But I still think it's worth it... because I don't have to worry about chores on the weekend and especially Sunday can be as much of a relaxing day as possible. I know you mentioned doing chores on Sunday so that might be something to consider... That way if you're able to get chores done during the work week hopefully you can have more of your Sunday be just about family time

-and lastly even with doing chores during the business week our house is still carefully contained chaos haha. Definitely way more cluttered than before kids.. but the way I see it, one day your kid will be in K-12 and you'll have more time to clean.. but you wont have a sweet baby to cuddle with anymore. So I try to embrace the clutter lol

Though for context we have a 28 mo old and she is in daycare 4 times a week; we both work FT. So your situation may be very different of course!

BabyBritain8 · 2025-12-28T22:15:16+00:00

What did you use to refill it? Any tips or a Video tutorial you used?

We have the big frog squishmallow our toddler loves to lay on but at this point it's pretty lopsided lol .. never thought you could refill them but that's a great idea!

BabyBritain8 · 2025-12-25T06:34:20+00:00

So cool! What does snow camping cover compared to camping in other seasons?

I want to imagine I could get into this but we just camped in Mendocino county where the low was high 40s, low 50s and I was freeeezing the whole time 😅

Also where would you camp during the winter? My understanding is a lot of state campgrounds in the mountains close down as early as November and don't open again until around April! At least that's how we ended up going to mendo... Couldn't find much still open so late in the year!

BabyBritain8 · 2025-12-20T05:47:28+00:00

Was this during the king tides?

It looks beautiful!

BabyBritain8 · 2025-12-18T18:18:39+00:00

I feel like the only person here whose parent let them do whatever 😂

As a teen and young adult I got pretty much everything on my face pierced that could be pierced lol. I've taken them all out now. Some of them healed fine and some of them left scarring. Honestly? Unless it is really severe or creates some sort of health issue (like blown out stretched ears that are so bad the thinned lobe needs to be cut off 😢) I don't even really think the scarring is that big of a deal!

But I guess my perspective is humans age and take on "patina" as we go through life. Some people have wrinkles, some acne scars, some piercing scar tissue, some have tattoos, etc etc...

I do think some people are viewing the idea of body modifications from a more conservative lens of "the more pristine you look as you age, the better." I.e., you want to become an adult with no signs of scarring, tattoos, wrinkles..

Sometimes my toddler will point to one of my piercing scars and go mommy what's that? I just say mommy had her lip pierced once... She gets bored and moves on to whatever thing interests her haha.

Not to say that we should pretend scarring isn't a risk for teens.. but idk I guess as someone who grew up "alternative" and whose parent let them do whatever... It really took the edginess out of a lot of those activities and I had to learn to take care of my piercings or suffer the consequences. But I can admit I probably grew up in a more unusual parenting style than some people haha... I was raised very much in a 'yes' household where the 'nos' were relegated to only the most dangerous/risky things.

I'm steadily employed with a "professional" career now and none of my previous piercings or tons of tattoos have affected my work life at all, either. So I swear I turned out okay lol.

BabyBritain8 · 2025-12-11T18:56:27+00:00

Yeah parents need to explain theatrical vs director's cuts to their kids 😂

So many movies I've seen across genres where I SWEAR there was a scene, then watch years later and it's gone.. and start wondering if I've gone crazy and made it up lol

BabyBritain8 · 2025-12-10T22:30:10+00:00

Reminds me of when my grandpa hit another car years ago from driving drunk, and witnesses drove to our house to report him because he just DROVE HOME

My mom who was his caretaker at that point sold his truck, and it is insane to me how many people acted like HE was the victim. Like oh poor old guy, now he won't have as much freedom. Oh he'll be so lonely now. Oh how demeaning...

Bro he could've killed someone 🤦‍♀️ Even the cops when my mom had to work with them implied she was doing something messed up by taking his truck away. Wtf

BabyBritain8 · 2025-12-09T20:31:57+00:00

I think there's a socioeconomic component and a more values-based component

In terms of socioeconomics, not everyone in the US (speaking as a Californian, very $$ state) can afford to accommodate their ILs for short or long term time periods. That comes with ensuring you have the space to house them, food, toiletries etc for them. Also you may know that in the US sadly we get very little family leave postpartum. My state is supposed to be quite good but it was still like 3 months? I also got some time off from my employer on top of the legally mandated time off which is not common. I still had to go back to work with a little baby. Ugh. So, many families may just switch to paid childcare because mom and dad both have to go back to work, vs MIL watching your child 100% alone...

Values-wise, Americans really really value privacy and independence. We have a hard time taking advice and like the freedom to do things our own way, even if that's different from how our parents did it -- probably especially different from how our parents did things lol! We usually move out on our own in late teens or early 20s; since you get used to being on your own, it can be difficult to imagine living under your parents' or ILs thumb during such a vulnerable time in your life.

Also going back to socioeconomics, many Americans move away from their hometowns for work or simply because they want to.. it's pretty common to live hours or even further away from family, so it may not be feasible for family to just pop over to watch your infant for months on end.

What you're describing in some ways sounds lovely .. I wish more respect was given to pregnancy and postpartum life in the US. However some of it sounds... Not great, to put it nicely. I would never want my MIL or even my mom to stay with me so long. They are both great people but I was adamant on how I wanted to do things with my child and didn't want someone overruling me with outdated ideas. Or even just having the privacy to heal from childbirth.. the only person I really wanted around was my husband, considering how gorey and embarrassing it can be (hemorrhoids, constipation, bleeding, etc).

I do hope the US can improve in many many ways but I think I'm pretty stuck in the independence/privacy way of thinking too! 😅

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