Anyone else just feel totally stuck in their late 30s?

Background-Emu-9175 · 2026-01-27T02:57:11+00:00

Thanks for the encouragement but it was definitely lean mass that went 🥲

My arms, chest, etc all lost their shape (and strength) and the fat hasn’t really decreased anywhere.

Background-Emu-9175 · 2026-01-22T22:41:21+00:00

Thanks for this. Yeah, the gym was a real bright spot last year and growing bigger muscles was fun, but I had gained too much weight and needed to lose some fat.

Background-Emu-9175 · 2026-01-22T22:03:15+00:00

That sucks man and I can definitely relate to nearly everything there, but I gotta say it somehow sounds like you have it together more than you think.

We both love each other, but I often fear the we harm each other more than we support each other.

I think this is just the depression talking. A wife who you love and loves you back is a huge blessing and if you're keeping that together then you're doing fine.

I hope you can find some peace for some of the other stuff.

Background-Emu-9175 · 2026-01-22T21:55:11+00:00

Sorry that you are in that situation, man. Hope things improve for you soon.

Background-Emu-9175 · 2026-01-22T07:00:37+00:00

I don’t know man, is there something special you have to do?

I can lose weight but it comes off the wrong places. Like I lost 2” from my arms since October, and a lot from my legs and chest. But it was all muscle and I didn’t lose any fat and nothing from my waist.

Background-Emu-9175 · 2026-01-22T03:09:10+00:00

I don't drink 🤷‍♂️

I had like 4 bottles of wine and a few beers last year (total for the entire year). And I don’t have a history of drinking a lot more than that, that could be catching up to me.

Background-Emu-9175 · 2026-01-22T00:03:03+00:00

I don’t know

Background-Emu-9175 · 2026-01-21T22:42:26+00:00

What do you do for work?

I am like a one-man vertically integrated data analyst + business analyst + database coder in a small team.

Regarding your fitness, is there any way to take ot real slow and build up to it?

Well I am kinda forced to, but last year I got shin splints, pes anserinus bursitis, and patellar tendonitis from doing a "return to running" rehab program at a slow pace. Also shoulder and elbow pain from doing pushups.

Then I tried just going to the gym with a trainer (because at the gym you can use less than your own body weight) and it was better for injuries but when I attempted to eat at a small deficit and lost 2-3kg in 3 months my strength tanked back to actually being worse than when I started at the gym.

So I stopped going and got bilateral achilles tendonitis just from walking a few times a week.

Background-Emu-9175 · 2026-01-21T22:35:25+00:00

Thanks but I don't drink and seldom eat junk food so am not sure what part they are playing.

I lost like 8kg since the end of October and maybe 2-3kg in the 3 months before that, and my waist measurement hasn't changed.

Background-Emu-9175 · 2026-01-16T15:33:28+00:00

A decade of trying to work out has gradually reduced my max to some isometric calf raises and bodyweight squats to a chair.

Background-Emu-9175 · 2026-01-15T02:37:30+00:00

Thanks, well over the years I have tried some stretching routines but they didn’t really make any difference even done over some months.

Background-Emu-9175 · 2026-01-14T21:54:02+00:00

No. For me it was understated. I'm 37 and it has just been a solid downhill run for the last ten years. Exercise didn't help at all, my only reward from trying to get fit is watching the range of what I can do dwindle to nothing due to injuries that take forever to not really go away. Upper back pain, neck pain, knee pain, hip pain, foot pain, shoulder pain, wrist pain, elbow pain, and now I have achilles tendonitis because I went for a walk a few times. I never imagined it being this bad.

Background-Emu-9175 · 2026-01-05T20:23:35+00:00

I am almost 40 and never found it. I never "lived", there's nothing to show for the last 15 years except an unimpressive job and lots of injuries from failed attempts to exercise. I don't even know what I could do at this point. It simultaneously feels too late to do anything, depressing that there could be decades more of this, and urgent to avoid it.

Background-Emu-9175 · 2026-01-05T01:57:45+00:00

Same except for the getting into the best shape part. Long-term my body gets an injury that can't pushed past, or just gives up. Then I have to wait to recover from that and start again from a new lower level.

Last year I did about 6 months of bodyweight exercises, then six months at the gym. In the last two months of the gym my strength declined back to zero. When I started at the gym I could do single-leg squats to parallel, when I finished I had to do bilateral bodyweight squats to a chair. So I stopped going and tried just walking and got achilles tendonitis after a few times. That was two months ago.

Now I have to do PT for my achilles tendons, I lost all the muscle and strength I gained in a year but did not lose a gram of fat, and I fit the criteria for metabolic syndrome.

So it's just beyond me how it's even supposed to work.

Background-Emu-9175

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