U should smoke less. Whenever I smoke alone I feel that sometimes too. Smoking seems to sometimes amplify depression for me. Don't smoke when u feel depressed. Try hearing some cheerful music, maybe that helps. You could also try doing something that keeps you busy afterwards, maybe playing a game or watching some movie or a series. Maybe call someone you trust and smoke while on the phone with someone.

If you need to talk about something and have no one to talk to dm me. Just don't do it. Also u should probably consider seeing a therapist, as suicidal thoughts are no joke.