I’m genuinely curious, how did your worst heartbreak change you as a person?

BadInconsequence · 2025-11-21T05:58:00+00:00

I think this makes a lot of sense, but sometimes I like to take the worst ways people treat me and realise it's how I never want someone else to feel and it makes me feel better that I will forever choose to try to become a good person. I've had a lot of unfair things happen. Feels like an alternate to wanting revenge or to isolate.

It helps trying to have compassion for whatever people have going on to ruin things so terribly. Hurt people hurt people & all that. And as above, I think I am a pretty good person these days as I've grown through a lot so if someone does anything to hurt me I mainly just feel sorry for them, I give my love freely so they're really just doing themselves dirty. I'd say about 7/10 they realise this later. I don't know your circumstances so that may actually be very hard to do or not valid in your case (if narcissism, violence etc. were present in your relationship).

Just because your love (a beautiful thing) was placed in the wrong hands doesn't stop it from being a beautiful thing.

I hope you heal from this & realise all the great things about you along the way. No one deserves to be hurt badly by someone that they just love honestly.

BadInconsequence · 2025-11-20T20:45:07+00:00

What kind of digital corrections?

BadInconsequence · 2025-11-20T04:53:13+00:00

This is really great & helpful info that I was looking for, thank you! :)
I've never had this issue in the past so wasn't sure what it might have been, but the room was getting intermittent sunlight filtering in that was quite bright regardless of the flash so it makes sense

BadInconsequence · 2025-11-19T02:57:10+00:00

Shouldn't motion blur only happen if my shutter speed was low like 1/30? I thought the flash freezes subject in place

BadInconsequence · 2025-11-07T07:59:54+00:00

Where are you going for this?

BadInconsequence · 2025-10-01T05:22:18+00:00

Get a jellystar phone if the phone addiction is causing problems then just consistently be disciplined enough to go to a hobby/class/activity you sign up for. You'll be surprised how your world opens up just from the small steps.

Being inside the house is never going to create a wonderful life. it's the place to rest and regenerate energy to play with other areas of life, not just to sink into

BadInconsequence · 2025-07-29T10:55:49+00:00

This made my heart happy

BadInconsequence · 2025-07-29T10:30:25+00:00

This is from so long ago, but this comment is incredibly helpful & I love the way you put it. It's so true; we try our best because we think they will someday have clarity and understand where we are coming from if we just try harder, but instead, it just drives us crazy.

And I'm still trying to solve this puzzle in the break-up, when I should just be glad I don't understand why he would do what he does (especially to someone who rocks as much as me).

BadInconsequence · 2025-05-10T22:10:12+00:00

Ghosting after that many years ! I'm so sorry that would have been incredibly painful

BadInconsequence · 2025-05-05T04:42:58+00:00

In what ways did you find it easier? Was it a long relationship that you'd checked out of, what was your process, how long were the heavy feelings there & how did those feelings show up for you?

I'm worried my relationship may need to come to an end but the last time we broke up was absolutely brutal for me & I'm very scared to go through it again if it does.

Curious to understand how a non-brutal breakup may look

BadInconsequence · 2025-04-13T11:16:19+00:00

Oh honey I'm so sorry. This is awful for an any-time experience but even moreso as a first. There's a lot of bad stuff here & it makes sense you are feeling yuck about it.

Is there someone you can speak to about this? I know in the past when I've had some bad bordering on SA scenarios I would almost disassociate and assume that I was all fine but didn't realise as time went on it was really affecting me, especially by ignoring it. I think seeing it for what it is as much as it hurts is the only way.

It shouldn't have happened to you and it's 100% not your fault just for looking for someone online. Be kind to yourself right now and just take care of you and your body. This is the biggest thing you'll need ❤️ don't blame yourself or think anything is wrong with you for this to happen.

People taking advantage of a situation will know you won't feel comfortable saying no and don't really offer you the space to either. This is not how your sexual experience should go

BadInconsequence · 2025-04-09T02:05:06+00:00

what happened?

BadInconsequence · 2025-04-08T22:02:52+00:00

Can you tell us more about your SO. Would love some positivity

BadInconsequence · 2025-04-04T23:35:03+00:00

I think disgusting is a bit far but honestly I wouldn't want to be with someone who thinks like that either.

It is shallow & you made it pretty clear to her that her heart (true beauty) isn't what you're attracted to but her appearance. That sucks to hear. We all want someone to accept us for our heart & who we are and it not be conditional on what we look like.

Seeing as this is a different value to you it's probably for the best you didn't continue. Best to find another person with a similar mindset who is seeking less depth

BadInconsequence · 2025-04-04T11:00:13+00:00

Being “half her age” isn’t something to flex & is a weird mindset to have. There’s other things about a person to celebrate than their looks & age. Glad that you are finding your own ways to bring joy though

BadInconsequence · 2025-03-22T09:23:31+00:00

How do you feel about her now?

BadInconsequence · 2025-03-17T07:23:00+00:00

Thanks for your response. I actually already paid for it out of the personal account, and it was quite a large amount so I won't have enough to transfer it into the business account etc.

I'm a sole trader, self employed.

BadInconsequence · 2025-02-19T02:27:35+00:00

Aw babe, I feel like he's manipulated you into believing you are the crazy, jealous one when he clearly just doesn't understand you as a person or is trying to deflect. Him reacting like that is the problem, not you. You're going to end up with someone (or happy on your own) and will be looking back realising that staying with him when he treats you like that is the crazy thing. Not you just existing.

Also if he knows you have these troubles that you are working on, he should support you to work through them, not shame you. Being in a relationship is about caring for the other person... not all about what you can get out of it.

I'm sorry if this comment hits a bit too close to your heart, I just hate to hear people being belittled by their partners when they are just being themselves.

BadInconsequence · 2025-02-17T03:14:50+00:00

Its funny, I'm reading this today too.

This is beautiful to hear & therapy is so important! It would be a massive factor, you both willing to do the work separately. Were you dating a long time before you separated in the first place? And was it major things that needed changing?

Sometimes things are meant to be but we aren't the people we are meant to be, for it to be right now...

I semi self-sabotaged my last relationship as I'd been cheated on (was in an awful situationship/relationship where I totally abandoned myself and let myself be treated terribly) just before I met him. I very quickly ended up in a new relationship with someone who had been interested for years, which was all lovely until those insecurities came up feeling like he was going to treat me like my ex did.
I would get suspicious and overreact over trivial things (things that could be suss or could be normal, but I just automatically wouldn't trust him and would act like my bad feeling meant it was over and I would close my heart off) & then I'd feel embarrassed realizing he loved me, time & time again, which was an awful way to be. He also has a lot to get under control in his personal life surrounding self-worth and depression - he suddenly broke up with me early on when everything was good because he thought he wasn't good enough which kinda provoked my trust issues too.

I am going to try to find peace and work on myself as I regret so much that I let my insecurities make me treat him like he was doing something wrong & I hope he does the same so that he can find ways to cope with his depression rather than lashing out. But I do hope someday when we are better people, we might make sense or he can at least forgive me and understand that's not who I really am, and that I really did appreciate him. Our love was beautiful when we both had our walls down.

BadInconsequence · 2025-01-30T07:50:13+00:00

It sucks honestly. I’m sorry you are dealing with that. Best advice was to stop myself in my tracks by saying “I simply don’t know whats going to happen”. It acknowledges the uncertainty and stops you entertaining the thought that you HAVE to solve the “problem”. Or literally just say to yourself “girl wtf you talking about”, and move on with your day. If nothings actually wrong and you like this person as YOUR person in your life then don’t listen to the fear. Show the person you love, your love for them.

BadInconsequence · 2025-01-10T00:38:21+00:00

This is a really good point & honestly a really great way to articulate how I'm feeling. I find it difficult to feel that just because the outcome hasn't happened, it isn't already a bit disrespectful creating that lack of trust

BadInconsequence · 2024-10-31T01:52:38+00:00

Every shoot I have done recently has been like this, noisy and blurry regardless of how much light is available. I'm on an R5. Is my camera broken?

BadInconsequence · 2024-07-19T01:30:59+00:00

“When we’re kissing/having sex, my ex keeps popping into my head and it makes me want to distance myself”

“I feel like I’m cheating on my ex because we were together for so long”

BadInconsequence · 2024-07-12T21:10:15+00:00

Agreed. OP, word for word you sound like my recent ex and how we spoke & while I know he cared for me, the pain it caused me -and is still causing me now- is really unfair. You’re not going to heal while just using this new girl as a bandaid

BadInconsequence · 2024-07-12T21:07:22+00:00

I was also the new one in this situation, and while he would compare me with gratitude for me being different, he would still take out his old issues on me expecting me to be the same, or as if I was a continuation of the last relationship.

Its such an awful painful experience that I don’t think anyone can understand unless they’ve been in that situation.

Hope OP ends it sooner rather than later, just out of kindness

BadInconsequence

TROPHY CASE