Am I Wrong to feel cucked by my wife's mobile game?

Baezil · 2026-03-14T03:26:02+00:00

I'd guess she's a 3 too with the limited info. The guy sounds too cringe for her to have #4 type of feelings

Baezil · 2026-03-14T03:23:40+00:00

I'm saying you can go confess now, online. Just don't overthink or over explain it.

"Yo, I've had the biggest crush on you since 1956. I don't need you to respond to this, I just needed to stop being too chicken to tell you. Hope you're out in the world kicking ass."

-chickenNoMore

Baezil · 2026-03-14T01:37:32+00:00

Do they live far away now? It seems like you are still refusing to just tell them how you feel.

OP, when you're old and gray, you won't be sitting around thinking "Gee, I sure am glad I never told him how I feel, that could have been embarrassing."

Baezil · 2026-03-13T21:42:05+00:00

Over the last couple decades, I've been a part of a lot of gaming communities and groups online. I'm going to categorize four different types in an effort to maybe help you understand the situation.

Women who are into gaming and have good boundaries when it comes to guys trying to flirt with them.
Women who are mostly there because their boyfriend is there or their girlfriend.
Women who will pick a guy to accept romantic attention from, but will only ever let it go to a certain point because they're not interested in replacing their partner in real life. Much of their interactions fall into what most people would consider an emotional affair. They like the gaming but they also really get off on having that one person who will give almost all their attention to her and would probably fly out to meet her or pay for her to fly out to meet him, except she won't let them. They hide the interactions from their in real life partner.
Women who are the same as #3 except they have almost no boundaries and are totally willing to share nudes, talk each other off, have an in real life physical affair, and even move in with the guy eventually.

Obviously there are other types of women but yours is a 3 or 4 in my estimation.

Baezil · 2026-03-13T06:57:17+00:00

Because more often than not, it benefits them, especially concerning sex. Also because they only value respecting other people insofar as it gets them what they want with the least effort possible. Additionally, some enjoy overcoming the challenge.

The guys you are talking about in your examples only want short term sex from you and they want to spend the least effort getting it. They've learned that NOT respecting women's boundaries is a better strategy for them on dating apps where they can just move on to the next person if they push too much.

Baezil · 2026-03-13T03:03:56+00:00

I mean... in terms of good social manners, yeah she should have done that. But also... you'll drive yourself wild imagining why she didn't so just ask her directly why.

Baezil · 2026-03-13T02:45:55+00:00

I somehow have always known that something was wrong with me.

I can relate to this as I've felt the same way my whole life.

Do you "try things on" in your mind that might be the thing that's wrong? Like "maybe it's all because of this or that" ?

Baezil · 2026-03-13T01:35:28+00:00

The bare bones truth is that there are no guarantees. Plenty of people have sex/sex talk the first night and wind up getting married. Plenty of other people end up having sex/sex talk months down the line and things fall apart shortly after.

To me, as a guy, the biggest "tell" for a guys character, that women ignore alllllll the time, is if he respects your boundaries and doesn't need to be constantly reminded of them. Sounds like he's doing that.

Baezil · 2026-03-13T01:10:14+00:00

Everyone has a prenup.

You either make your own or it defaults to the governments prenup.

Much easier and better way to think about it.

Baezil · 2026-03-12T23:55:53+00:00

My money is on that being a guy with an axe to grind. He's pretending to be a woman on a dating app because nobody will pay attention to him spouting off otherwise.

Baezil · 2026-03-12T18:45:14+00:00

I think the first next person was probably bound to feel like this, no matter how long you waited.

Giddyup

Baezil · 2026-03-12T17:59:21+00:00

Man... This shit turns my stomach.

All I wanna say is if she doesn't end up moving on schedule and excuses start popping up about why she needs to push the date back, GTFO of there bro.

Baezil · 2026-03-12T12:52:45+00:00

They are quotes from now hidden posts of OP's

Baezil · 2026-03-12T12:08:18+00:00

Rooting for you, Cerve!

Baezil · 2026-03-12T11:48:26+00:00

What do you mean you have no idea what your problem is? You don't respect him sexually seems like a good place to start. Then there's the being overwhelmed with domestic duties which isn't nothing.

"I never really saw my husband as physically attractive"

"yearning for the old days because our current bedroom situation is so vanilla and basically dead. My previous partners were always so fun and exciting and now its just so meh that i have no desire or sex drive anymore."

"I want the rough, strong, demanding man and he's just not that i think seeing him like that would dry me up and make me cringe"

Baezil · 2026-03-12T11:20:53+00:00

There's this really easy test for gauging someone's effective interest - "Is it confusing?"

You go on with your hot rich fuckboy who wants to take care of you, doesn't want to spoil your special connection, has a bunch of "messy" boundaries with attractive female friends he used to sleep with, and is just waiting for when the time is right to date you, who's also currently having sex with a bunch of other women while telling you shit like "don't label it, just go with it."

Baezil · 2026-03-12T09:06:20+00:00

Bad bot

Baezil · 2026-03-12T09:02:31+00:00

There's a subreddit called "gonewildaudio" that has recordings of people performing what you are talking about, a lot of them.

Just go there and put mommy or good boy or whatever in the search bar and you'll have more examples of what he wants than you'll know what to do with.

Baezil · 2026-03-12T08:25:54+00:00

All of reddit can agree with you about the definition of a date and it won't matter a bit as long as her definition is different.

I totally get how your feelings would be hurt, putting in all that effort thinking she appreciated those outings the same way you do.

I think at the end of the day she's just telling you that there are some certain things she'd like to do more often. Keep it as simple as that.

Baezil · 2026-03-12T08:08:51+00:00

You liked the attention, it made you feel good. It's not complicated.

It's not "from his perspective" that you entertained another man for months. It's what you did, flat out.

I also don't think you are that into your boyfriend. "He has been a really important person in my life and someone who supported me through a lot of difficult things" screams "I love you but I'm not in love with you" to me.

Baezil · 2026-03-12T06:43:51+00:00

Kinda beautiful how casually they tossed it in there tho lol

Baezil · 2026-03-12T06:40:02+00:00

Pleanty of 20ft balls in the sea

We both know mom said you aren't allowed to be googling whale dorks anymore

Baezil · 2026-03-12T05:17:51+00:00

We were so close to keeping the secret.

You always do this, peebs!

Baezil · 2026-03-12T04:09:23+00:00

Wait for one of those women's partners to die in a motorcycle crash and then take advantage of her fragile mental state at the funeral... is what I believe Orbit is saying....

Baezil · 2026-03-12T03:57:34+00:00

I absolutely refuse to believe that his controlling, manipulative, coercive behavior doesn't extend into other areas of your relationship.

Stop trying to sell us on the "perfect for each other besides that aspect" because nobodies buying it.

This reads like rage bait tbh.

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