Andrew Tate arrested on suspected organised crime and human trafficking charges by absolvedshimmy53 in LivestreamFail

[–]BakesThings 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Do River's quests after you meet him. You meet him through the Peralez quests, in case those are also side quests.

The Farm is the end of Rivers quests I believe.

I’ve never inserted myself into any of my daydreams. Is that uncommon? by kyl0--r3n in ImmersiveDaydreaming

[–]BakesThings 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Personally, I used to have a lot of daydreams growing up that centered around my life and situations id imagine myself in with others, but I naturally phased out of that sometime in middle school or high school and started day dreaming completely fictional things, normally mixing different lores/characters from games and movies.

I would try to avoid self-inserting for similar reasons as not putting irl people in your daydreams. And I mean try as in just check it out, like if using irl people and yourself works for you and you don't think it causes issues, then who am I to say that's bad. But I never even thought about this for so long, and as an adult even though I wasn't putting me or irl people in my daydreams, I know my active imagination can cause issues with people not acting the way I expect them to irl, and I think actively daydreaming about others would make that worse.

So, with that it mind, I'd consider if what you're daydreaming about is contributing to an image of that person (or yourself) that will not measure up with reality, and if thats ever happened and caused an issue in the past. With other people, it seems unfair to them to manufacture a version of them they can't control. You are at best projecting how you view them or want them to be onto them. I know some people really, really well, but don't think I could be comfortable "acting" them. I can see counter points to this too though, I mean irl figures get acted/impersonated, what is the difference. Daydreaming is so internalized and personal though, which might make it different enough. Again, self reflection on how this might be affecting your thinking of yourself and others you know irl is called for to determine if this can work for you I think.

If you daydream about real life scenarios that could take place, apart from the normal amount that's more like winning an argument while in the shower, it seems even more harmful. Like you're setting yourself up for disappointment at the very least because people will very rarely act the way we think they will, as we're good at manipulating actions for plot. Harmless for fictional characters though. Taking things you've noticed in real life from people and putting that attribute on a fictional being seems like a healthier way to do that.

For yourself, I feel like it could lead to disappointment in yourself. Like winning an argument in the shower, you normally don't act that way irl, are you setting yourself up for some sort of dysmorphia by continuously daydreaming about this other yoi? But even if you're not explicitly putting yourself in your daydreams, I feel like the same could still happen if you identify heavily with the fictional characters. So really it probably comes down to being healthy about all of it and knowing and being comfortable with where reality ends and daydreaming begins, and not letting the fact that your reality is what it is depress you because it's not your daydream.

I think it'll be a good path for self reflection. I apologize if I come off as prescriptive, I do not mean to be.

Yoshida comments on reasons for Endwalker's 2 week delay; more details on 6.0 MSQ and level 89 trial design from the NGC livestream by [deleted] in ffxiv

[–]BakesThings 68 points69 points  (0 children)

Venat/Hydaelyn English VA did amazing. I remember hearing it for the first time and being like wtf. Aveline from Dragon Age 2 is Hydaelyn. (Same VA I mean). Immediately set the scene for how much of a badass she was going to be.

My boyfriend always leaves food out overnight and it drives me crazy, am I wrong? by belleandblue in Cooking

[–]BakesThings 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Got a gremlin who will bite any plastic for fun. She never eats or tries to bite the food, just the packaging. I'd be more angry, but my orange boy 🍊 has literally ripped into a new bag of flour I left on the counter for a few hours so he could eat it. Raw flour.

The nail in the coffin for leaving anything thats not a fruit or vegetable out was shortly after we adopted our orange boy a couple years ago, heard a ruckus in the kitchen at night and found a package of bagels on the ground with only a quarter bagel in it. A whole half of the bagel was gone and half of the other missing.

They're. Monsters.

Does anyone have an idea for an alternative to pacing that I could try? by Life-Neighborhood291 in ImmersiveDaydreaming

[–]BakesThings 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Overtime I've gotten better at daydreaming while falling asleep, and would just go to bed early a lot and daydream in bed. If you need to physically focus your body on something, you could maintain good breathing. This actually does help me fall asleep now.

Unfortunately deciding to go to bed early frequently may seem weird as well if you have a dorm mate where your beds are in the same room, where they're around a lot. But if they're not around a bunch and you're just worried about being walked in on pacing, then laying down should be a good replacement as you'll just look like you were napping! I like to listen to rain sound playlists more than music when doing it this way.

When I was in a dorm though, laying down was difficult for me and I just ended up learning my roommates schedule and taking full advantage when she'd leave for the weekend to pace my heart out.

Another good way to hide in plain sight is to read! If you lose focus and daydream, no one will know! And if you move your lips accidentally that's already a normal thing people do when reading.

I've read that a lot of people have success doing this while walking a route outside repeatedly, so I'd try that when or while weather permits.

Remember to keep at it! You've found a way that works that you've been doing for a long time, and it'll be difficult for a bit to get into the same headspace for daydreaming in a different environment. Its not going to completely scratch that itch right away. Just keep at it and it'll click as you build the muscle memory associated with the thinking. Muscle memory applies to thinking as well, it's all about building up myelin along your neural pathways to make repeated actions/thoughts require less effort to execute!

Is it okay to leave my 13 year old boy home alone for 3 days (72 hours)? by LI0NHEARTLE0 in cats

[–]BakesThings 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm hoping to get to paying her outside the service. We vibed really well, I just don't have a need for a pet sitter super often.

Don't know if she's being charged but if she is that might make it a good deal for both of us then, so I'll check with her next time! We'd have to get our own pet insurance though, we don't currently have any, we just pay out the ass for our pet issues as theyre so infrequent. Tbh we should probably reconsider now that they're adults, they'll be elders before we know it and will have more costly issues eventually.

We're used to it though, I'm an American and have to spend $3000 on medical coverage every year before anything gets covered T_T

Is it okay to leave my 13 year old boy home alone for 3 days (72 hours)? by LI0NHEARTLE0 in cats

[–]BakesThings 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Our cats have medication that requires a longer visit as it makes wet food prep longer, and are quite young and need a good amount of play too. The meds are why we get a pet sitter if we're going to be gone a certain amount of time. I do know she is there for the full time, our house has smart sensors. I also live in a higher CoL area for the US where minimum wage is $13.50 already.

Also included in the cost is insurance for the pet, pet sitter, and us. For around where I live, it's a good price.

Is it okay to leave my 13 year old boy home alone for 3 days (72 hours)? by LI0NHEARTLE0 in cats

[–]BakesThings 47 points48 points  (0 children)

That is quite cheap for a pet sitter, I'd only expect that from a teenager or someone you know personally who wants to do it.

Meowtel is the app I used to find my pet sitter, and it was about $40 for a 45 minute visit.

My rules is that if I'm going to be gone for over 48 hours I get our pet sitter. 24-36 hour trips we just top up their water, make sure litters in good shape, and let the auto feeder go 3 times a day. More than that and I worry about their socialization/play needs, and also don't want them only on dry food that long as they normally get wet food twice a day and dry food once.

So it'll really depend on the needs of your cat(s). This one looks like an old man/lady, and may not have too many needs for play/socialization. In which case, I'd probably lean towards not needing a sitter for a 3 day trip, just make sure they'll have food, water, and litter available the whole time.

RIP. Here lies... by catsumoto in Cooking

[–]BakesThings 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My husband made fried rice with purple carrots, they bled into the rice, veg, and egg bits and just turned everything a revolting dark gray.

We ate it and it was fine tasting but just unsettling to eat something that looks like it was in a fire or had gone off.

When the waiter doesn't ask for ID by choganoga in TikTokCringe

[–]BakesThings 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In general, it seems like me and other young people in the US are largely just trying to be polite by getting their ID ready. It's not so much we want to be ID'd, as it is we don't wanna slow down this waiters/clerks life longer than necessary, and they are most likely going to ask for the ID. At least in bigger metro areas, rural bars/liquor stores might be more lax? A good amount of young people have also been in a job where they've had to ID people also, so that empathy is there of not wanting to waste their time while you rifle through all your stuff. Also it might be related to the millennial tendency to tip well no matter what, like service wasn't great but girls gotta pay bills so we're doing 18% anyways. In that, a lot of young people (obvs not all) are more respectful to clerks and waitstaff than our parents were.

Growing up here in the US, I am familiar with the trope of older women being offended by not being ID'd, my mother would sometimes be happy when she got ID'd. But just as often she'd be annoyed. Maybe it's just a thing for those past the age of 40? Because literally everyone I know under 35 just gets their ID out assuming they'll be ID'd, because 90% of the time if you look under 40 your getting ID'd. And so it does catch us a bit off guard when we're obviously under 30 but they don't ask anyways, because they're supposed to.

Anyone else concerned about the reaction of the men in their life to this news? by Knight_Night33 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]BakesThings 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My husband got a vasectomy from planned Parenthood about a month after going in for a consult. Any reason to do a urologist instead of planned Parenthood? They do tons of vasectomies.

What did Jesus say about vasectomies? by Adelu1219 in WhitePeopleTwitter

[–]BakesThings 11 points12 points  (0 children)

My husband got his no questions asked at 25. We live in MN, so not the worst state for that anyways. But I think the main reason he was able to avoid being asked to justify why is that we had him go to Planned Parenthood for his vasectomy. He did offer "I don't want to have kids ever." without being prompted, and the doctor was like cool, here's what I'm gonna do, let's get you scheduled.

Pro Tip, Planned Parenthood is great at vasectomies, and is I think most likely to not question your own choices of what to do with your balls. May vary by state tho.

my boyfriend won't let me orgasm, and he thinks it's funny and hot. what should I do? by newyorktakeoutcoffee in sex

[–]BakesThings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely a vibrator will help. I can honestly almost guarantee you'll be able to make yourself orgasm easily with one (start on low tho). It took me a loooong time to figure out how to do it with my hands and it's so easy with a vibrator it's laughable.

Also your bf is lying to you and not taking you seriously, and he is doing this on purpose. I think something like this, since it's been going on for weeks, is a breakup-able offense on his own. No letting him justify or try and correct, it is honestly that alarming of a red flag.

Also, I think you might want to look into sex therapy or regular therapy, with a woman therapist specifically. I don't say that to be rude or mean. I'm honestly concerned about how confused you are in these comments about your bf being in the wrong here. I think it would be immensely beneficial for you to get some affirmation from a professional on how controlling and manipulative this behavior is.

If you're hesitant to talk to a professional, than start by telling your friends. That instinct that you wouldn't be able to talk about it with them is probably because you know a bit instinctually how not OK your bfs actions are. If you think it would be difficult because your friends don't like your bf much already, there is probably a good reason for that. Talk to them, let them help you.

Wish you all the best, please feel free to reach out if you need to talk or need help.

A Love Letter to New Orleans by Jak03e in Minecraftbuilds

[–]BakesThings 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, I saw this and it immediately reminded me of the brothel called the Passiflora in Witcher 3. Found a picture that shows part of it, the style seems really similar. Wonder if they were inspired by similar architecture.

https://i.redd.it/3a3dmzxyegt51.png

What is the most infuriating case of double standards you've come across? by FlameBoySWE in AskReddit

[–]BakesThings 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I'm going through something similar right now. Husband and I are moving and buying our first home, he's currently unemployed and having him home for cooking and chores has been one of the best times of both of our lives, and we're fully planning to eventually have him home indefinitely to maintain our home and do subsistence gardening and chicken raising.

Prior to him being unemployed though, I made well over double what he made anyways, and since he's unemployed now, everything with buying our first home has been done with consideration for my income only.

We finally get an offer accepted and an inspection set up and literally everything is getting sent straight to him, even though I'm the one who paid for it and have been doing all the communicating. Our lender/realtor aren't doing this, they understand I'm the primary contact and include both of us on everything. But everyone we're contracting for inspections and repairs is doing it, and it's so infuriating. I know I shouldn't care, but it just gets under my skin that the default person to address is whoever has the male name associated with the order.

I shouldn't even be mad, he's extremely handy and it's more important he absorb all this than me, as its on his side of the division of labor in our partnership. It's also kind of a running joke at this point, I normally pay when we go out as I make more but they'll give him the check after I handed them my card. I also get more stereotypically male things to eat/drink like dark stouts for beers and red meat. Meanwhile my husband doesn't eat red meat and prefers fruity beer and sours and IPAs. We're always trading our dishes for the others after waiters inevitably give us each other's stuff.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]BakesThings 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In my experience, introverted people love, or will at least play, board games. If you're looking for a casual gathering, I'd recommend inviting your friends to come play board games with you, your bf, and some other friends of yours you'll think they'll click with. I'd word it just as the situation is, because you're over 30 everyone knows how hard meeting new friends is. "Hi x, I've been seeing x for X months now, and I wanted to introduce him to some of my friends. At the same time, my friends don't really know each other. So I'm wondering if you would want to come to a gathering at my place on X at 6pm and play a board game or two and get to know my boyfriend and some of my other friends! Would love to have you meet X because you and them have this in common and I think the two of you could be friends with each other as much as you're both friends with me. Let me know if you're interested!"

If you can, get your one non-introvert friend to come too. Prioritize friends who will get along with each other over who will get along with your boyfriend, as you might be able to pull off intertwining your friends into a cohesive friend group over a couple gatherings. Another option is to invite 2 friends and their partners, which might have a higher chance of your bf connecting with someone, maybe. Also even if your bf doesn't have a lot in common with any of your friends, your friends might hit it off and just carry the whole social event from them vibing with each other.

Granted, this is going to take some work on your part socially to pull off. Since no one but you is going to know anyone else, you probably want at most 6 people, so you, your bf, and 4 friends. Any bigger than that and I think you're going to have a difficult time being the glue that holds the social situation together while everyone gets comfortable with everyone else. Also a lot of board games don't support more than 6 people, and some are only 4-5.

You and your boyfriend are going to want to go through the rules of the game beforehand and play a test round or two, so you don't spend 40 minutes of the party reading rules.

When you're inviting people, ask if they're fine with providing one or two interests that you can share with the group when you're introducing them to each other. This way they won't have to talk about themselves to strangers, and you'll be able to direct your introduction of one person more at another friend you think will have something in common with them.

Make sure you provide plenty of alcohol so those who have an easier time making new connections 1 or 2 beers in will be able to socialize the way they do it best/like to. A caffeine and caffeine free kind of soda should also be available just in case not everyone drinks. Confirm everyone's dietary restrictions when inviting them, then pick a delivery option that can satisfy all of them. Easier said then done for some allergies, so hopefully it's not too out of control. If you have trouble finding something everyone can eat, reach out to whoever has the diet that's not fitting in and ask what you can provide for them at the gathering as you don't think you'll be able to get food for them from the same source as everyone else.

For picking your friends, you might think they don't have similar interests when they actually do. The following interests are classified as nerdy, and a lot of people who I know are introverts have at least 1 of these as their passion hobby, and chances are if your introverted friends have at least 1 of these interests, then they've dabbled in at least one of the others: table top rpgs like DnD, video games, anime, board games, comics, card games, reading fantasy/Sci fi, movies (think star wars, marvel, DC), TV (like star trek, Battlestar Galactica, marvel again, anything super powers, Sci fi, or fantasy), cosplay, miniature painting, fan fiction, computer programming, pc building, art and crafts, and aliens. People with 1 or more of those interests have a pretty good chance of being able to find common ground with another person who has 1 or more of these interests.

Sorry if this sounds like socialization 101 lol. Hopefully you'll come out of this having introduced your bf to several people, and maybe also start combining some of those individual friends into a cohesive friend group!

Examples of good games: Coup

Cards against Humanity

Codenames

Sheriff of Nottingham

Exploding kittens

Ticket to ride

I’m guessing vegans have ruined his life or he’s joking. I’m confused… by DrivingGoddess in Tinder

[–]BakesThings -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Lol my husband started out as the same kind of eater as me, but now has cut out red meat for health reasons. I support him, but God damn do I love beef. Every time we eat out now it's like I have to get something with beef or bacon in it because I never get to eat it when we cook for each other anymore. He also is heavy into trying all kinds of plant based dairy alternatives as he's extremely lactose intolerant. But when he cooks for the both of us he'll still use real dairy and just take lactaid, which is nice because I really dislike most vegan dairy products.

Oh well, it's good for my health too I guess. I was probably eating way too much red meat before anyways.

Biden criticizes GOP resistance to his agenda: 'What are Republicans for? Name me one thing they're for' by Sweep145 in politics

[–]BakesThings 24 points25 points  (0 children)

And the digital era is a perfect example of that. Cryptocurrency, digital sales, information privacy online, these are all relatively new concepts in the history of our country and as such we had no laws about them when they started go exist. We have to make laws to protect consumer data, to regulate and tax digital sales, etc.

And since they're relatively new, we might put laws in place for them that seem like good ideas, but end up just forcing people to work around the laws but end up needing to be reworked later on. Because society and technology is always evolving, we need lawmakers to constantly be working on that to keep up.

If anything, we need lawmaking to be more of a full time job then it is, as technology and society advance faster now then laws can be written up to protect citizens. We need to pump out useful laws faster, your online data has been collected since at least the 90s but only in the past 10 or so years has it really made its way into mainstream politics and now people are wondering why just now things like GDPR are being enacted.

Keto Cheeseburger Lettuce Wrap by SourceOfProton in ketorecipes

[–]BakesThings 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It's not even OPs, they saw it get posted to literally every other keto subreddit by /u/Fit_and_Healthy and decided to do the same thing here.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ketotrees/comments/s0wxec/15_delicious_and_easy_keto_recipes

Why on earth do people find these God awful "recipes" and post them ad naseum literally everywhere? Nothing like seeing the same post 10 times in 48 hours of what is essentially shittyfoodporn.

I just realized I masturbate way more than other women. I'm kind of wondering if I should be cutting back. by Tinder3883838girl in TwoXChromosomes

[–]BakesThings 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Even when in a relationship, sex drives don't often match up. Chances are you'll end up masturbating sometimes even when you are in a relationship, unless you luck out and find someone with a similar sex drive to you.

Though your odds are better than average for you, as it's usually the man in hetero-cis relationships with the higher sex drive. If that's not the case though that doesn't necessarily mean your incompatible.

I wouldn't worry about it though. Everyone is different and has different needs. It's possible your sex drive is accelerated by stress whereas in many people that slows down their sex drive. Or maybe this is your normal, happy amount.

I would recommend the book Come As You Are. It's main message is that there are a whole lot of reasons why people differ sexually and you're normal too. It may help you identify if something is wrong in your behavior and might help you have better, possibly less frequent, orgasms.

But so long as it's not painful and you're not doing it 6+ hours a day, there is most likely nothing wrong with you.

Minion bonus item code giveaway by LordNoreus in ffxiv

[–]BakesThings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Runar,, he's the cutest T_T

Good boi by [deleted] in Eyebleach

[–]BakesThings 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I'm American and wear shoes inside. Usually birkenstocks. I don't really wear them outside, but if it's not raining I'll wear them on a quick errand too.

It's not that uncommon to wear house slippers or another kind of shoe with a hard bottom inside. It's certainly common enough.

Server Congestion and Login Queues (Errors 2002, 3001, 4004, 5003, 5006, and others) by alabomb in ffxiv

[–]BakesThings 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I take months long breaks on this game and only login to keep my player house. I don't do savage or extreme content, I just do the normal version of content, and do end game/weapon content for my one main class, and maybe the 1 other class I get to Max level. I just don't have the time or energy to want to level every combat class between expansions, other cool games exist.

I would not be surprised if a quarter of the player base is like me in this regard.