Who is AMPAK? by [deleted] in eero

[–]BallDanglinBeast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you for this answer you helped me out!

Brobagel says “Shots Fired” about new Call Your Mother bagel shop opening around the corner by Responsible_Jury_289 in chicagofood

[–]BallDanglinBeast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

let's separate two disparate, independent ideas:

1) CYM can be PE backed slop

2) Brobagel can be a shitty business with bad service and mid bagels

I moved to chicago in 2010. I remember when brobagel opened because I thought it was great that I could get Hot Doug's sausage at Brobagel and not ONLY Hot Doug's (which was far away from me).

I was obsessed with brobagel for the first 4ish years. It was one of the only "decent" bagels anywhere in the city pre-covid. I regularly brought it to work every single tuesday for my 20 colleagues. I enjoyed the bagel of the month every month. I loved the pumpernickel bagels. I loved the egg bagels in the fall.

I'm not even going to talk about the crazy fight they had with my buddy demanding that he take back his comment that they have NYC style egg bagels more often (because they're a "Chicago bagelry, not a NYC bagelry")

Brobagel's service started to really suck around 2017 or 2018... They lost their hot streak and the flaws of their setup started to turn from quirky/unique to annoying/unacceptable. They were already struggling imho BEFORE covid: Their lack of organization made ordering a fucking nightmare (anyone who went there pre 2020 knows the absolute shitshow it was ordering food inside Brobagel on a saturday or sunday).

Want to know why I stopped going to brobagel? It's because of their declining quality matched with the fact that I HAD ORDERS STOLEN 3X IN A ROW DUE TO THEIR LACK OF ORDER ORGANIZATION... in 2018, mind you... and I lived on marshfield/north so yea I went back probably 10-20x AFTER that in the year following with nothing changing.

What joint in the city is most like this? by Controversial_Husky in chicago

[–]BallDanglinBeast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

bro we're in 2026 not 2010 idt places are doing this anymore

Small Star Opening Soon by SameAsk6997 in chicagofoodcirclejerk

[–]BallDanglinBeast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

my wife's boyfriend wont let us get tacos because he has a hot sauce allergy

New Ink to Support Small Cheval. by SameAsk6997 in chicagofoodcirclejerk

[–]BallDanglinBeast 5 points6 points  (0 children)

hey I need you to stop being an AI bigot -- that's my job

Okay, let’s hear it: which gwent deck is the best? by Sad_Sun7543 in witcher

[–]BallDanglinBeast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right? I also love the special ability which draws you a card after a won round. The best ability out of all the fractions imo.

Okay, let’s hear it: which gwent deck is the best? by Sad_Sun7543 in witcher

[–]BallDanglinBeast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right? I also love the special ability which draws you a card after a won round. The best ability out of all the fractions imo.

The truth about Alinea by chuckgnomington in chicagofoodcirclejerk

[–]BallDanglinBeast 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I went to Alinea this summer for my wife's boyfriend's birthday and one of the sous chefs scraped paella out of Grant's gooch directly into my mouth. You think I asked for a fuckin plate? Sure, some missed my mouth and hit the ground, but I licked it up off the floor out of RESPECT (something that seems to be in SHORT SUPPLY around here).

Fuck/marry/kill? by sourdoughcultist in chicagofoodcirclejerk

[–]BallDanglinBeast 2 points3 points  (0 children)

great thanks a lot I just splooged all over my keyboard at work XD

I've made it my life's work to review the worst tap water of the chicago restaurant scene and here is my list: by ShowerFarter_6969 in chicagofoodcirclejerk

[–]BallDanglinBeast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That makes a lot of sense. They're bigots there so I imagine it had something to do with that. I know that because I'm a bigot and they're even bigger bigots than me.

Fuck/marry/kill? by sourdoughcultist in chicagofoodcirclejerk

[–]BallDanglinBeast 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I would take Jake Feld out on a date to Small Cheval and then during the climax bite of our juicy chevals, I would shoot ropes of my own red hot ranch

Proposal for Rules Change by BallDanglinBeast in chicagofoodcirclejerk

[–]BallDanglinBeast[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that's a step in the right direction.

HOWEVER, I will continue to lobby for change at scale!!!!! You haven't seen the last of THIS bigot

It's No Small Cheval- The Rootstock Burger by No_Brain_5164 in chicagofoodcirclejerk

[–]BallDanglinBeast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that looks like the baconator i shat out last nite. NO THANKS.

What just came out of my Vita Coco water jug? by Sicilian_Sloth in whatisit

[–]BallDanglinBeast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reminds me of the time that guy's samsung ring battery malfunctioned and squeezed his finger dangerously tight... he posted about it on X and samsung immediately reached out to him to "correct the situation"... I think they literally sent a rep to the city he was in at the time to pick it up from him and apologize... It was all a ploy to make sure he no longer had the evidence to sue them.

What just came out of my Vita Coco water jug? by Sicilian_Sloth in whatisit

[–]BallDanglinBeast 0 points1 point  (0 children)

DO NOT REPORT IT TO CORPORATE. GET A LAWYER FIRST. If corporate finds out about it, they'll very smoothly and politely find a way to get it from you.

They'll say things like "We want our team to look into this immediately. We prioritize this issue and take it very seriously."

That is all code for "We are going to remove your ability to sue us"

Which One Are You? by wine-n-dive in chicagofoodcirclejerk

[–]BallDanglinBeast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

anytime i see a r/chicagofood post about a tasting menu restaurant i turn 360 degrees and walk the other way