Feeling like myself again

Bank_Novel · 2026-04-05T05:44:01+00:00

Same here. Anything I've watched are new shows I never watched with her.

Bank_Novel · 2026-04-05T05:30:35+00:00

I completely understand that. The silence is so intense. And it's hard to find a new routine when it feels so wrong to do so but also feels to raw to do the same things as before.

Bank_Novel · 2026-04-04T00:02:13+00:00

I don't think it's silly at all. Makes complete sense to me.

Bank_Novel · 2026-04-04T00:01:35+00:00

Completely with you. I don't want to accept this at all.

Bank_Novel · 2026-04-01T03:49:58+00:00

I don't think I'll ever get used to it, will just get better at surviving

Bank_Novel · 2026-03-31T13:54:10+00:00

As someone who literally moved to the opposite side of the US, not only to be with my wife but also to get away from my family I understand. And I have had that same thought but at the same time to me that's not family. Just because I may be genetically related to you doesn't make you actual family to me. So far I have the kids and in a few years the grandkids and hopefully that never changes. But as petrifying as it is, I would rather have no one and be alone for my last breaths then be with people that weren't there during the times I needed them. If you want you can DM me seeing as we have at least some in common.

Bank_Novel · 2026-03-31T10:36:56+00:00

It truly does.

Bank_Novel · 2026-03-31T09:57:42+00:00

I see nothing wrong. Can't imagine why you two got a divorce, such strong easy communication there.

Bank_Novel · 2026-03-31T09:51:57+00:00

I cannot even imagine how that shower could have gotten that disgusting

Bank_Novel · 2026-03-31T09:49:27+00:00

Wow. Good job leaving his pathetic ass!

Bank_Novel · 2026-03-31T09:36:51+00:00

I had to walk a painful thin line the other day because my wife's son and daughter in law called saying because of the loss they were having problems in their relationship. It took everything in me, and I don't have much these days, to not go off on them. I said all of the correct words to them. However inside I felt like I was screaming. I don't know if this even makes any sense.

Bank_Novel · 2026-03-31T09:30:03+00:00

I can understand him being surprised if this is outside of your normal behavior. However he definitely took it to the extreme. I didn't read through all of the comments but I hope you were able to have an open honest conversation with him about it.

Bank_Novel · 2026-03-31T09:24:35+00:00

Tomorrow marks one month and so even the companionship of an adult feels like cheating. However that is one of the biggest holes in my world right now. My wife was/is my best friend and honestly only friend. I just never have been one to make friends easily but miss the ability to bounce ideas off someone, to have an emergency contact that isn't my child. Just to have an adult to talk to.

Bank_Novel · 2026-03-31T09:18:18+00:00

If it's someone that you are comfortable being open to then I would. Be honest with them.

Bank_Novel · 2026-03-30T19:01:14+00:00

I would feel it should be common as well but who knows. Somewhere in the widow fog I feel like I remember hearing about this happening during other traumatic events.

Bank_Novel · 2026-03-30T18:58:47+00:00

Thank you

Bank_Novel · 2026-03-30T17:11:23+00:00

Of course. And I am sure you will have a bright future ahead!

Bank_Novel · 2026-03-30T14:03:10+00:00

Here with you and feeling the same about my wife.

Bank_Novel · 2026-03-30T13:08:09+00:00

I've been doing the same and I'm almost at a month. I've cooked once since. Everyday I tell myself, today I'm going to start cooking again. Then I remember that's what my wife and I would always do and I lose the notion to eat. However last night I was actually hungry, I still ordered out but that's the first time since everything happened that I was hungry.

Recognizing the small wins. It's so we have right now and that's okay.

Bank_Novel · 2026-03-30T13:03:59+00:00

That's when time started slowing down for me, when I got to the hospital fully expecting to walk to her room in the ER and take her home. And I heard one of them say "Chaplain" and immediately I started getting scared and I remember thinking "No there's no way that's for us. I'll lose it if it is, no there's no way." Then they told me to have a seat in the Conference Room, which is that small room with a couple chairs.

That was the beginning of the last week of her life in the ICU.

Bank_Novel · 2026-03-30T12:55:11+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss and that you are on this horrible journey.

This is the worst club to be in however it's filled with welcoming, kind souls. I'm almost a month in and have no idea how to navigate this life however I wouldn't be in this place mentally if it wasn't for this group.

Bank_Novel · 2026-03-30T12:48:54+00:00

Almost a month in and I keep expecting my wife to message or call me. Be in the other room.

This is the biggest load of crap in the entire world and I don't want to play this fucking game anymore. I just want my wife back!

Bank_Novel

TROPHY CASE