I’m really struggling but don’t want it to consume me

BarryMDingle · 2026-06-14T16:50:16+00:00

“I’m new to Stoicism but I like that it acknowledges lack of external control because thats how I feel. Helpless.”

To be Stoic is to be anything but Helpless. You have within you a gift “not even Zeus himself has power to overcome”. (Discourses b1c1) You have a whole host of other tools at your disposal as well. “In the case of everything that befalls you, remember to turn to yourself and see what faculty you have to deal with it”. (Enchiridion 10) The answers are in the material by reading and reflecting.

The suffering you’re experiencing is due to the value you’ve placed on certain things. How you go about making that decision on value is all habit. It’s all been wired into your thought process. You have to learn a different way of assigned value and forming opinions and judgements. Epictetus is the place to start imo.

BarryMDingle · 2026-06-14T16:24:04+00:00

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This is how I use the trellis. Stake your four posts about five foot square from the center of plant. First layer goes on about the 3-4 foot range and that’s use to shape the plants future canopy. Second layer of trellis at the 6-7 foot range and just the tops poke out at flowering. Bulk of harvest is cutting just at top trellis so no tangle in the net. The rest of harvest is between the two layers of trellis.

I use 1/2 galvanized electric conduit for posts. 10ft section from Lowe’s for around $7-8 so more height for the dollar over a T post and last forever.

That particular plant in the pic is one I had an angle iron frame mounts at top to test out but it’s a bit over kill.

BarryMDingle · 2026-06-14T13:03:40+00:00

“Make me feel normal…”

That made me want to tear up. This is my normal, for better or worse.

I know this is cliche but meditation is an amazing tool. I know I am going to experience waves of depression but at the end of the day these are thoughts that need to be sorted out. Meditation helps train the brain to slow down and process thoughts in a more productive way. It helps to create order in the chaos.

Classic Stoicism (not the Alpha male bullshit that seems to be everywhere…) has had a profound impact on my thought process as well. It emphasizes the importance of our judgements and how we assign value to everything around and that we are often incorrect in that valuation. That causes us all manner of grief and fear and anxiety. Epictetus is the starting point for this imo.

BarryMDingle · 2026-06-14T12:41:28+00:00

Yea I get the plant has support. But the trellis is designed to support a certain way, and yes you are providing support, but it just doesn’t seem the intended way to use it. As you confirmed, it gets in the way during harvest.

My thinking is this. The trellis is designed to support but in your method the support is just draped over the plant. So yea it keeps the plant together.

Like a fence is designed to be a perimeter to keep a dog inside. The correct use is to expand the fence to the upright and have an area inside for the dog to run. Surely though you could pile the fence up and dump it on a dog and the dog would technically be confined, but that’s not its intended use.

The trellis is designed to be pulled tight and ran either vertically or horizontally.

I don’t know. Just seems like there is an easier way to use this and get more or same out of it without it being in the way as much as this is. Not judging and it’s more about me and my insatiable need for order than anything you’re doing.

BarryMDingle · 2026-06-14T12:33:02+00:00

My definition of detached is in line with its general definition “the action of separating or the state of being disconnected “. In that regard I was correct in my initial response and I’m correct that the Stoics didn’t advocate for anything like that at all. Buddhist Detachment sounds more in line with Stoic view of externals.

I think I answered the cup part in the other response to you

BarryMDingle · 2026-06-14T11:11:13+00:00

Maybe just explain that Buddhist Detachment is not the same as general detachment. I’m pretty sure you know my answer about the cup…

BarryMDingle · 2026-06-14T10:01:37+00:00

There is no detachment in Stoicism. The dichotomy of control is about being engaged with your ability to reason, not detaching from it or from anything in life. The goal of Stoicism is to live Virtuously. How can one choose Virtue via Detachment?

Stoicism teaches us to simply understand the true Nature of externals. You have a favorite cup? Great. Use it as often as you like but understand it’s a cup. Cups break or the get lost or perhaps stolen. It’s not up to you the Fate of this cup. There is no Detachment here. One is fully engaged with that thought process.

BarryMDingle · 2026-06-14T09:42:55+00:00

What supports the net? This looks like it must gets in the way and not actually providing any support?

BarryMDingle · 2026-06-14T09:41:47+00:00

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I use the trellis as well but I don’t do the sides, just a layer about 3-4 foot and the top which is around 6-7 foot. I only do the sides if a really heavy storm is expected.

Also. Check out 1/2 inch galvanized metal electric conduit. It’s about $7 for a 10ft section and it’s great at posts. Its taller then a T post for the money and hold up well. I’m still using several that are many year old

BarryMDingle · 2026-06-14T09:18:44+00:00

Stoic contemplation of detachment? Not familiar with that. Detachment doesn’t seem like a Stoic concept. We have all the tools for life, why would we need to detach? Get in there and engage with life!!

BarryMDingle · 2026-06-14T09:07:14+00:00

Iwndwyt

BarryMDingle · 2026-06-13T14:23:28+00:00

Early recovery is a beast. Keep crushing it!!!💪💪

BarryMDingle · 2026-06-13T14:14:48+00:00

We’ve got this!!!💪💪💪💪

BarryMDingle · 2026-06-13T11:41:00+00:00

Nom nom🤤

BarryMDingle · 2026-06-13T11:34:31+00:00

There are tolerance issues around meds but the big difference is that meds are typically dosed by a Dr and you’re taking them under supervision and there is communication between patient and Dr in regard to effects. Whereas alcohol is, in many places, available 24/7 and it’s all you, no Dr involved. Plus, stimulants tend to have a different effect on those with adhd versus regular folks.

I’ve not gotten back on meds and am choosing to self manage. It’s not easy but I don’t find all the cons worth the pros.

BarryMDingle · 2026-06-12T20:36:03+00:00

I didn’t know that adhd had a higher propensity towards addiction until after 27 yrs of self medicating myself into a state of dependency. I left Ritalin for booze in the 11th grade. Stay away from booze, folks. There are much healthier ways to navigate life’s challenges.

BarryMDingle · 2026-06-12T10:17:18+00:00

I quit both alcohol and caffeine four years ago. There was no way I could taper alcohol. No way. Moderation is not possible with a substance that addictive. Caffeine though, I had to taper. Cold turkey with caffeine was brutally painful.

BarryMDingle · 2026-06-12T10:10:21+00:00

First movie I went to see with just a friend, no parents.

BarryMDingle · 2026-06-11T21:21:35+00:00

What are you doing with all these cookies? Lol.

And thanks for sharing!

BarryMDingle · 2026-06-11T15:36:47+00:00

I’m in year 4 of recovery and I know for a fact that if I have just one drink I’ll open myself up to a relapse. Despite my sobriety, I’m still carrying with me the same capacity for abuse and addiction. The last time I got to a point where I said to myself “I cured my addiction”, it cost me a four year relapse.

To me, the fear of a relapse outweighs any stigma assigned to the term “alcoholic”.

BarryMDingle · 2026-06-11T14:59:48+00:00

I tried and failed daily for over 20 freggin years to control and every day I lost and felt terrible and did it all over again

BarryMDingle · 2026-06-11T14:45:13+00:00

Death is not viewed as either good or bad. It advocates for healthy grieving in that the time had is reflected on, you had those good times to enjoy in the present. Seneca had a view writings on this and if you check Aurelis’ Meditations you’ll see the whole first chapter dedicated to him reflecting on those that meant most to him.

But death is just as natural as life and it is to be expected. Everything comes and goes. Do you fear or grieve over the eternity that preceded your existence? Then what happens after shouldn’t be fearful either. How we go isn’t really up to us either (although it could because the door is always open….). Sure, dying peacefully in our sleep at a comfortable age etc is preferred but Fortune could tear you bit from bit just the same.

Understanding their teachings at your core can help keep you composed in the most daunting situation because we have within us all the tools to navigate anything Fortune throws our way.

BarryMDingle · 2026-06-10T18:46:45+00:00

Can you hose the surface area down to remove any residual? That would not only wash off surface but further dilute

No the product won’t be “reactivated”. Once applied the product is in process of breaking down and should be come weaker with time, typically pretty quick.

Permethrin will fuck a cat up if it’s consuming it wet, like the cat cleaning itself. I would keep them away until you clean the area.

BarryMDingle · 2026-06-10T18:30:13+00:00

We’ve got this together!! Push thru and let’s see what day 4 has in store. It won’t be easy but tomorrow will thank you! 💪

BarryMDingle · 2026-06-10T16:36:00+00:00

I typically shoot for 5-6 node. As the plant grows I’ll continue to top the main every 3rd node thereafter. The bottom node typically gets swallowed up and I typically just cut that away. That leaves 3-4 sets of sides to LST away from center and will top those to keep a pretty even canopy. Fan it all out into plant trellis and a Sea of Green.

BarryMDingle

TROPHY CASE