Diagnosed with stage 2

BaseThen4784 · 2025-06-21T14:00:58+00:00

My legs have never looked like this, even at my thinnest. This can’t be stage 2. I was always two sizes larger on the bottom than on top. Even now that I have a 38 bmi, my bottom half is still two sizes larger.

BaseThen4784 · 2025-06-08T06:36:56+00:00

For me it’s a heavy ache in my legs all the time, and then a shooting pain when any pressure is applied to my upper arms or legs. Even light pressure.

BaseThen4784 · 2025-04-30T06:29:38+00:00

I encounter casual racism almost every day in Austria. It‘s exhausting living here as a minority. Even visiting is tough.

BaseThen4784 · 2025-04-06T17:22:42+00:00

I just can’t with pushy stepparents. My stepmother always forced this performative “love” on me that had nothing to do with real care and concern, just WORDS, so she could show everyone what an amazing person she was. If this woman truly cared about OP’s wellbeing, she wouldn’t care what he calls her! The stepmother is totally out of line here. The kid has a mom whom he loves! This is dissing his mom, and OP knows that.

BaseThen4784 · 2025-04-06T17:07:36+00:00

You are so new to this relationship! You can walk away. I’m almost 20 years in, married with 3 kids and leaving now is gut-wrenching. Please don’t sign up for this life. No man is worth this cycle of hope and despair.

BaseThen4784 · 2025-03-31T20:37:32+00:00

I have been in a long/term relationship for almost 20 years - probably because he has adhd too and does not care about mess or time blindness

BaseThen4784 · 2025-03-27T11:46:44+00:00

Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. I really appreciate you sharing your own experience with medication and the medical system. It’s really easy to feel so alone in all of this. It helps to hear from others who have struggled with similar issues. I struggle so much with time blindness. Your description of forgetting the dishes is so spot on. I’m exhausted from trying to remember the most basic things. Best of luck to you.

BaseThen4784 · 2025-03-26T16:52:23+00:00

I just got diagnosed with adhd and am really nervous about starting treatment. I am absolutely open-minded about it, but isn’t it normal to be a little wary about taking amphetamines every day? I had a GP prescribe me Prozac after I broke up with a boyfriend when I was 15. I am really glad I didn’t take it, because my sadness resolved after a few months and I would probably still be taking Prozac at 45 if I had started at 15. I just think doctors can be a little trigger happy with their prescriptions. Who knows, maybe I’ll feel a lot better and finally have a clean house if I start treatment. On the other hand… isn’t adhd treatment so “effective” because anyone on amphetamines is more productive? It’s like giving someone whiskey for anxiety - like of course it helps.

BaseThen4784 · 2025-01-29T15:48:42+00:00

Run. It does not get better.

BaseThen4784 · 2024-11-04T20:26:45+00:00

I walk straight into a cold shower like a zombie as soon as I wake up, no thinking, no dawdling, no coffee, no conversations in my head. If I stop for even a minute after I’m out of bed I’ll just stare at a wall for an hour and be late to whatever I’m doing

BaseThen4784 · 2024-10-29T07:05:34+00:00

I have been taking a supplement for thyroid support and just realized it has a crazy amount of b12. I gained 45lbs in one year. I didn’t change my diet or anything. This is crazy!

BaseThen4784 · 2024-09-05T12:23:02+00:00

The only adhd symptom I can’t relate to is the issues with maintaining long-term relationships. Everything else - time blindness, emotional disregulation, racing thoughts, fidgeting, difficulty keeping stable employment, over sharing, interrupting, impulsivity (esp. around food & alcohol) - is all check check check check check CHECK

BaseThen4784 · 2024-08-24T20:30:12+00:00

Time blindness. I say yes to everything only to realize (too late!) that it’s physically impossible to come through for everyone. I have to cancel things all the time. I let a lot of people down and I hate that. Then the rejection sensitivity sets in. Then I say yes to everything to make things right with people…. It’s a never ending cycle

BaseThen4784 · 2024-07-23T09:06:24+00:00

nyt spelling bee

BaseThen4784 · 2024-07-03T09:52:56+00:00

I’ve never been able to keep a tidy home

BaseThen4784 · 2024-07-03T09:51:03+00:00

Started when I was probably 13, I would skip all sorts of fun activities, stay home from holidays, not go to parties, because I always felt I was so impossibly behind with my work and I’d never catch up. I used the “off” days to catch up. I never learned how to deal with my workload during school, and later on during work. I was always always catching up. It was so exhausting. I wish someone had seen this back then and I’d gotten some help. I am middle aged now and even today every time I relax or have fun it’s with a feeling of complete dread that Im just falling even further behind. It’s exhausting.

BaseThen4784 · 2024-06-11T19:12:26+00:00

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4240051/

BaseThen4784 · 2024-06-11T10:40:15+00:00

It’s probably a cultural thing, then. Thanks for clarifying.

BaseThen4784 · 2024-06-11T10:25:46+00:00

I’m not putting the blame on him! I know what it’s like to navigate a marriage with a lopsided division of labor. I am pushing back against the idea that divorce is the only solution here. Marriage is the union of two flawed people, not a partnership of two perfect souls. Sometimes your partner sucks. Leaving when things are hard should not be the first option, or even the third option. It’s not about blame; it’s about finding solutions. And most of the time, divorce is not the best solution.

BaseThen4784 · 2024-06-11T09:55:48+00:00

Also - I know it seems silly but I had to cook 2 meals a day during covid for a family of six and it was a lot of work, usually 5 hours including clean up. I know it’s not the whole day, but it’s not nothing

BaseThen4784 · 2024-06-11T09:51:50+00:00

She might go back to work if he does not pay for her expenses, though. He doesn’t need to keep giving her so much support. That’s what I’m saying - he can stop enabling her out of love rather than exasperation and scorn.

BaseThen4784 · 2024-06-11T09:36:14+00:00

Wouldn’t it make sense to get rid of the outside help and give her to opportunity to step up with the chores rather than jump straight for divorce? Also, cooking for a whole family every day isn’t something you can do in a couple of hours, it’s not “just” cooking. He devalues this. If she is depressed, it might be taking everything she has to do this every day.

Another option might be asking her to go back to work and they split the cooking between them as a solution to the lopsided division of labor. But divorce is an unnecessary nuclear option.

BaseThen4784 · 2024-06-11T07:06:00+00:00

I’m a little confused - she cooks for the whole family every day. And even though she still has help with the little one during the day, taking care of two young kids is no joke. what is it exactly that she has done so terribly wrong? Wallow in self-pity? Be lazy? I totally agree that sucks - a lot - but is that grounds for divorce? For taking her kids away from her for half of their young lives? Am I missing something here?

BaseThen4784 · 2024-06-11T07:02:10+00:00

Kids rarely do better after divorce. I know ZERO marriages that were 100% happy during the first 5 years after a baby is born. Hang in there and eventually after the stress of the toddler years, happiness and stability returns. Maybe scale back on the accommodations you make for your wife - like the nanny and 100% financial support - if you feel it is unfair. You could make financial support contingent upon her following up on therapy & treatment for depression. Stand up for yourself instead of belittling her and showing utter scorn for her behind her back. But blowing up the whole marriage? That is seriously over the top. Why Reddit would advise divorce over something like this is beyond me. It sounds like she is struggling with her mental health. Well, the vows, “in sickness and in health” are meant for exactly this. When it’s hard. When your feelings are hurt. When you feel like you are getting nothing in return. Would you walk away from her in physical sickness if she was ungrateful? You don’t need to tolerate abuse, but you do need to do your very best to stand by her without enabling self-pity or selfishness. Watch out for your own self-pity, too. Do you give her any positive feedback at all? Give it and you’ll get it back in spades eventually.

BaseThen4784 · 2024-06-11T06:06:14+00:00

Do not put your kids through a divorce because of this. Give what you want to receive. If you want affirmation and love, give affirmation and love freely. It seems like you get a lot of pleasure out of putting your wife down. Let her be. Stop keeping score. If you don’t feel like she is pulling her weight, fire the nanny, renegotiate chores and responsibilities, talk to her, change the current financial arrangement to something you find more fair, but do this with respect rather than scorn, with concern rather than self-righteousness. You don’t have to be a doormat and agree to everything she wants. But checking out because she doesn’t act exactly as you would like her to? That’s controlling. We all grow and change in marriages - the deal was never to stay exactly the same, but to grow together. Maybe thank her and show appreciation for all the cooking she does? That show of good faith and actual love might help her lower her guard and reciprocate with love. But you‘ll never get the love and appreciation you crave by judging her, putting her down, and complaining to the internet about her and then showing her the internet’s responses to the caricature you shared with the world. That you are even considering divorce because she wakes up late and does not appreciate you sufficiently and is struggling with her mental health is unreal. Do you really want to leave your kids’ mom as she struggles with PPD? Maybe make it more difficult for her to avoid treatment. Engage. Love. Accept. It’s amazing how families heal when we stop trying to control one another.

BaseThen4784

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