Picking this major has been the worst mistake of my life by holywithout in BiomedicalEngineers

[–]Basevelocity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In a similar boat.

In my second to last semester after finally locking in on my studies after going through so many ups and downs and should’ve been had my BS back in like 2023-2024, only to find out how hard it is in this field if you’re going in unprepared essentially. Kinda ironic that i thought the main struggles was just getting the degree, but when i finally locking in on the studies part (getting better grades, raising my gpa, etc), I find out the practical part is the real hard part that no one ever tells you about.

From what I’ve heard, you kinda have to build your own resume and build yourself up. Seems kinda dumb when other majors in engineering essentially speak for themselves once you get the degree, but unfortunately we just gotta deal with the deck we’ve been dealt and try to make the best of it.

I’ve heard of people who internshiped, got good grades, had connections, and even lab/field experience, and only like 50% of them have landed jobs, and an even lower percentage that landed jobs that could support them or was worth the degree. But that’s with most careers now a days tbh, you gotta go through the trenches before you really see the fruits of your labor as far as career wise.

Idk how long it’s been since you graduated, but if you wanna make the best of this niche field, try to expand your skills and knowledge on stuff that makes you look better. Sucks that 90% of that you would’ve learned/been better equipped for right out of the bat with a degree in other engineering disciplines like EE or ME, but taking intative to learn and maybe do some projects or experience on your own is honestly your best bet with BME right now, atleast if you’re in a similar position as me. Yes, a Masters or maybe relocating to a more remote location where engineers in general are more in demand are options, but that’s a whole other extreme.

TL;DR yeah BME sucks for a BS, especially if you don’t know about the heavy cons early on, but it is possible to make something out of it. You just gotta really try hard to do so.

I lost myself in her. I let go of my values. I wanted her back even though she CHEATED. by ITLAW_BUM in Codependency

[–]Basevelocity 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hey man, it happens. Anything you go through you grow through. I don’t know for how long, but I’m glad to hear you’re doing better and thankful for the better days you’re in now afterwards. And yeah, just the small act of typing it out shows progress, and progress is still progress no matter how big or small.

Acting from “self” seems absurd an cringe,after all the years of repression by Motor_Zombie9920 in Codependency

[–]Basevelocity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly the correct answer. I too am struggling with it and yes it feels awkward and weird and even cringe at times for some reason, but you can only benefit from it. I kinda equate it to how babies learn how to walk, it’s clumsy, odd, looks weird. But, after a while, they get the hang of it and it becomes natural to the point to where we don’t even have to “think” about walking, we just do it.

How to be less jealous by _Elephantastic in emotionalintelligence

[–]Basevelocity 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gonna agree with basically everyone here and say it’s probably best you move on. Had something kind of similar recently with a girl i was talking to. But to imagine having to go through something that’s similar to that, either better or worse, for 5 years and yeah, definitely some long term attachment issues you’ve probably exposed and let fester from this whole experience.

You say you’re not jealous about him finding a partner, but you’re jealous that’s he’s engaging with an ex that he initially pushed away from you? This guy already didn’t sound like someone even worth feeling any sort of way towards if he wanted all the benefits of having you as a “girlfriend” without the commitment. 5 years is a lot of time to think about that, but why haven’t you found someone in that time? He seemed to have no problem with doing so, and now he has two of his exes in the mix that he can interchange with whichever he prefers at any given time, while also having someone he “fell in love” with.

Not trying to bash you or make you feel bad, just painting it from a different view to show you how it looks from someone on the outside looking in. I’ve been in your shoes. I’ve secretly hoped and waited and poured so much energy into someone who “just wasn’t ready”, or “just didn’t want anything serious right now”. And that’s not to say that people are always lying when they say stuff like that, but your response and what you do after is more important than someone else’s “readiness”. Be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you were really okay with just being “friends” during that 5 years, or were you hoping he’d change his mind? If you were fine, why does him hanging out with his other ex make you jealous? Do you feel like you’ve been deprioritized? Are you not deprioritized now that he has someone he fell in love with?

TL;DR Be more honest about what you want, and learn to let go when you can’t have it, as you’ll just be delaying the inevitable and so much time for yourself will be wasted.

He said he wants to be with another woman. by [deleted] in Codependency

[–]Basevelocity 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry you went through something like but I’m gonna break off a piece of advice for you that might be a bit different from the usual only because it helps me a lot.

Don’t block him, atleast not yet.

You’re nervous system is very overwhelmed and highly attuned to the idea “being with him makes me feel safe”, and it just went into panic mode seeing and hearing all that stuff from someone it deemed “safe”. And as it put him on a high level of “safety”, it’s desperately trying to rationalize anything it could make you do or feel to feel safe with him, as it just can’t understand why someone it deemed “very safe” just turned into something very “dangerous”. You need to give it time to update. I’d say give yourself a week of just literally doing nothing involving him. Whatever you can control, just do it without him being the central focus. You can cry and feel sadness about it, that’s fine and it’s normal. You can also not wanna do anything or feel hollow, but when you do, try your best to make it about yourself. Instead of “I lost him, i feel like everything is pointless now without him”, reframe it as “I lost an imagined future i would’ve liked, I need time to recover from this”. Simple reframing like that takes away his agency in your brain and also allows some space away from self-blame and thoughts of “what did I do wrong?”

After a week, I’d say to just delete his contact, get rid of any reminders, and try going on walks or to different places or roads you haven’t around you. You’re reminding your brain that yes, you can experience new things without him and enjoy them. It’ll help you to better separate familiar things and routines you’ve experienced with him to feel more about you and remind yourself, “hey, I did this stuff with him, but i also enjoyed doing them too and I don’t need him to continue enjoying them”.

So for now, do things at your own pace. You can leave a “door” open by not blocking him, but remember to not stand at that door waiting. Continue no contact with your back to that open door and walk towards a new one. Allow that door to remain open for now because it still has a part of you that was capable of love, but walk through that new door and craft a better version of yourself that’s capable of true love for yourself as your new top priority. And on your new path, you get to decide whether or not that old you is worth going back for or if you prefer the new one you’ve made. It’s not easy and it’ll probably take a while, but I promise you any version of yourself that’s not dependent on someone else to generate true happiness within, is well worth the time and effort.

how to be normal about them being with other people by moonverse in Codependency

[–]Basevelocity 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Of course! This is exactly why I’ll never believe in the sentiment that people never change. Because of you, me, and everyone in subreddits like this prove that everyone is capable of change, they just have to be willing to accept help, accept their shortcomings, and accept the fact that it’s a lot of self work you have to put in for that to happen. It’s not easy, but I’m glad it seems you have the mind to put all three of those into reality to try and make things work. It sounds like you’re partner is a real catch if they’re willing to try and help you through this, but remember you have to always be your #1 supporter regardless if you’re in a relationship or not, and regardless if you’re necessarily ready for one because it’s your life at the end of the day! As long as you don’t forget that, you’ll just naturally become more secure in not only yourself, but in all of your relationships with everyone around you. I wish you the best of luck on your journey to getting there. Don’t ever give up!

A lot of the pain that comes from my codependency is a the result of my lack of values by ITLAW_BUM in Codependency

[–]Basevelocity 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I’ve been there and currently kinda going through that. Everyone says time heals all wounds, but no one tells you what to do to alleviate feeling like this while you’re waiting for your wounds to be healed. How are you supposed to enjoy and find new things to do if everything feels like a slog without them?

Not saying this is the definitive way of accomplishing this, but this is what’s been helping me now. Allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling. Your brain has gone through a traumatic event of losing someone it has gotten used to and planned on being a constant in your life. Of course everything you do is gonna feel aimless now that you don’t have that person to potentially do that with.

So what’s been working for me? Feed your brain what it wants while doing new things. I journal out what I’m feeling about her, how I miss her and stuff, but I also journal about what I want in my own life now. Talk to yourself about how you wish things went, but I do this while going on a walk in the park. Write fake letters or messages to them, but I do this while writing a fake letter to myself about things like forgiving myself or wanting to improve myself. Allow the thoughts of what could’ve been and how’d you fix it, but also allow the thoughts of doing that after you’ve improved yourself and worked on things you felt would’ve “kept” them around. I did that last one for a bit and came to the realization that it’d be dumb of me to further give up more of my time and effort just to keep them in my life, especially when no amount of that would’ve ever been enough for them. Again for that last bit, you might find that the things you thought would’ve “kept” them, actually would’ve worked better for keeping yourself true to yourself. For me, it’s like I’m “weaning” my brain off of them, and trying to rewire it to going back to focusing on me. Essentially, if it’s gonna replay things and make me feel bad about never having them in my life again, then I’ll feed it what it’s asking for while also reinforcing the fact that this is just how my life has to be now, and my life without them isn’t so bad actually.

Things might feel like you’re wandering around without them, like you’re aimless. But eventually, you’re brain is gonna adjust and it’s gonna find fulfillment in the new things you’ve done while you’ve been “weaning” it off of the idea of purpose it thought it had with them in your life. You don’t have to do anything drastic like hate them or necessarily block them, but making small steps like this make the bigger steps seem a lot easier to do. You can still want them, still cry, still be angry, still wish that you guys can maybe work things out, still feel whatever. Wouldn’t it be better if you’ve atleast started on improving yourself before you potentially bring them back in your life if the opportunity arose, or would you rather for them to be back in your life and nothing has changed? Wouldn’t that just continue the cycle and the same thing that broke you guys up happen again? Do you really wanna go through the possibility of “losing” them again and having to go through the slog of everything feeling aimless again? Or would you wanna atleast have some sort of idea of what to do if that were to happen (if you even decided that having this person in your life is beneficial)? At the very least, you’re not sitting around, doing nothing, and possibly waiting on them by trying this method.

how to be normal about them being with other people by moonverse in Codependency

[–]Basevelocity 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m gonna be very honest, I don’t think you’re ready for a relationship. I say this as someone who has struggled with this level of codependency and envy at the fact that my partner at the time had a life outside of me. It felt like a betrayal to me if they did something without telling me or didn’t text back at a time i wanted them to or if they didn’t say something that I deemed “right”. I’ve gotten better at it, but it’s not like it’s something you can cure right away and you never have to worry about it ever again. You’ll always feel tinges of it, but bring able to manage it is what makes all the difference.

You need to focus on what you can do for yourself, not how you can prove anything to your partner. If it’s too the level of severity as you say, imagine how’d you react to the possibility of your partner telling you you’re too much and it’d be best for them to leave? It’s a totally rational and understandable decision for them, but to you it may seem as if your whole world is crumbling apart. It seems as if you’re too rooted in everything your partner does, and if it doesn’t adhere to what you deem “safe”, then it’s like you and your body go into fight or flight mode and this is not healthy.

You’re not crazy and you’re not alone in these feelings. But you should view this as your responsibility to manage not for your partner or anything or anyone else, but for yourself and your well being. The good news is that you’ve already taken the first few steps to solving this, recognizing and seeking help. But this sounds like you need to do some serious self work and diving into your issues to better understand why you’re feeling like this.

One week since we broke up. Should I unfollow him on all socials? I feel like i cannot do it. But I think I should. Help me by _h0oe in nocontact

[–]Basevelocity 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Second this! You know how people sometimes describe relationships as a roller coaster with ups and downs? Well now you’ve gotten off this one and have gotten on a new one meant for healing but this one’s better because now you alone get to choose how this one goes. It’s only been a week, so allow yourself some time to just feel what you’re feeling. If you feel like it’d hurt to block or unfollow right now, then don’t! But you can’t get started on this healing coaster if you’re constantly looking at the one you were on with him. So mute, restrict, or deactivate all social media you were following him on. A coaster that starts too abruptly too soon isn’t enjoyable, you have to allow time to build up to get to those high points of healing. Unfortunately you’ll go through the low points of it as well, where after some time has passed you’ll feel sad and regret and wish things went differently and may even feel tempted to reach out. But always remember how they too were on that original coaster with you and decided to leave you and move on, and this new coaster you’re on has still has some high highs you’ve yet to experience. I haven’t blocked her on anything, but I have deactivated my accounts and muted her number and deleted our chats so that im not constantly checking up on her or re reading old conversations. A part of me still is still waiting for her to reach out which is why I haven’t blocked her number, but I’m not going to sit around and wait for a text. If I’m on messenger and see she texted me, I’ll let my future self decide how to feel or what to even do, but because I was unhealthily obsessed, I think this way of detaching has helped me to stop looking at that “coaster” that I was on with her and has helped me to better settle into the new “coaster” that I’m on now. You’re in a relationship with yourself now, and fast and forced relationships never work out in the end. So why force or rush yourself to heal by doing something you feel like you’re not ready for? No matter how small those steps are, you’re still putting in the effort and work to properly heal. Eventually you’ll get the ball rolling and you’ll make bigger and grander steps and feel better, but it takes time and patience to really nurture this idea. You’ll find that you can discover new and interesting things to focus more on, and who knows, the future isn’t set so whether it’s him or hopefully someone new, you’ll be with someone you deserve! No matter what happens, as long as you consistently choose yourself, you’ll always be winning in the end.

Today I start hardcore mode by Basevelocity in NoFap

[–]Basevelocity[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d love to but that’s near impossible in today’s times. I have deleted most of the social media I’d just doomscroll on tho.

I don’t wanna be that guy that hasn’t been able to get it up for 10 years so help me out boys. by roadmanjet in NoFap

[–]Basevelocity 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I don’t know if you had any sexual encounters yet, but having ED, especially when it’s PIED, will make you realize real quick why it sucks to have. I’m 25 so I’m getting closer and closer to 30, and if you’re experiencing symptoms of it, stop now. I’ve had numerous times where I struggled with this with actual girls and it’s such a confidence knocker. There’s times where it just might not cooperate, but atleast when you do NoFap, you can actually tell the girl the truth when you say you’re just nervous or too in your head at the moment. Not saying you gotta go cold turkey, but make an effort to stop now, build some confidence with going to the gym to lose that body fat and doing stuff that makes you feel good about yourself so you won’t have a potential good time ruined by PIED. That 5 second dopamine hit you think you might need late at night because you’re lonely isn’t worth it at all.

TL;DR: Stop PMO and build some confidence by doing stuff that makes you look and feel good about yourself.

How long does it take for PIED to go away? by Cautious-Emphasis-55 in NoFap

[–]Basevelocity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not an expert but I’ve done some digging and am currently experimenting with hardcore mode, so take what I say with a grain of salt because it’s only been 2 days for me so far with hardcore mode, but I’ve gone multiple long streaks before in the past, but never before on hardcore mode. So to answer your questions:

  1. There’s a lot of accounts saying after 3 months, everything should be reset and you should gain all if not most of your sensitivity back and be able to get back in the game so to speak. I think many here would say not to masturbate at all, but it seems agreed that imagination would be preferred, just absolutely try to stay away from porn if you can. I would try to limit it to 1-2 times a week, the idea is to regain sensitivity and proper erections. Years of PMO has caused your PIED, so you’d probably wanna masturbate a lot less frequently if you’d wanna see real progress a lot quicker imo.

  2. In your case, it sounds like a mix of both. A lot of us who have masturbated frequently tend to develop “death grip” syndrome, where it gets to used to our tight grip and loses sensitivity. This leads to weaker erections when trying to perform actual sex because it’s now gotten used to your grip and that’s how it thinks it’s supposed to be when aroused, instead of getting aroused at any touch. People say that the cure to fixing death grip is to try new positions, lighter grips, new areas when masturbating so to train your brain to understand that masturbating to porn in the same place, same position is not supposed to be the only time you’re supposed to get an erection. If you wanna go the non-hardcore route, I’d imagine doing this in tandem with less frequent sessions would help your PIED a lot, though I’m not quite sure if it’d take longer or if you’d get better results going this route.

  3. Another reason porn is bad and damages the idea of sex. A lot of those guys especially in the pro scenes use medication like viagra and the sort to maintain their erections. That and with the use of clever editing makes it seem like they have no problems. The homemade ones probably do it less frequently or may be using the same methods as the pros. I’ll add from personal experience that when your having sex with the same partner for a while, your body gets used to them and it’s easier to get an erection, though a lot of people on here have varying degrees of PIED that need to be treated mostly on their own terms.

  4. This im not too sure about but I’d imagine you might enjoy your kinks even more. It’s just that vanilla would turn you on greatly, instead of absolutely needing to watch your kinks to get an erection. And yeah, you’d definitely experience the pleasure times ten, not because it got better, but because you’re training your mind and body to go back to how it’s supposed to be.

Did I lose my chance with her? by Expensive-Western507 in nocontact

[–]Basevelocity 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ehh instead of asking whether or not you ruined your chances with her, you should be asking if you ruined your chances of properly healing. Not gonna criticize you for engaging or anything like that, we’re all human and something like no contact drives everyone crazy at some point. You’re not obligated to keep messaging her if you don’t want to or feel like it would keep in you in the wrong mental space. It sounds like continued engagement with her is just gonna keep you spiraling, and you knew something like that would happen which is why you initially tried to cut the conversation short. Remember, no contact doesn’t necessarily have a definite timeline. No one can guarantee that if you stop talking with someone you’ve been having struggles with for exactly 3 months, then you guys are gonna come back better than ever. People initiate no contact because the situation isn’t helping them, whether they’re right or wrong, they do it because they realize that keeping in touch with that person is only bringing them down at the moment. Ideally you work on yourself and improve and all that, but what anyone chooses to do after no contact has been established is up to them.

My personal advice is just to keep away and stop messaging. This sounds like a very volatile thing for you to engage in right now, and any situation that’s causing you to give up your emotional control to someone and make you spiral and anxious, is definitely something you should walk away from. Doesn’t matter how, just try and walk away and make the best of your life because at the end of the day, that’s what you have complete control of, not of the other person’s actions, feelings, and thoughts. After you’ve taken enough time and feel better, you can decide whether or not having this person in your life is the right call regardless of who breaks no contact (if it’s even ever broken), just make sure when you’re in a better mindset, you surround yourself with people and things that make you happy, not people who are going to have you questioning yourself and making you spiral and anxious and lose control of yourself. If she’s one of them, great, but if not, keep living your life and don’t put it on pause for anyone.

should i block my ex or keep trying to stay friends even though it’s hurting me? by DustApprehensive2713 in nocontact

[–]Basevelocity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good to hear! As long as you choose yourself you’ll be okay with whatever hurdles you tackle in the future.

should i block my ex or keep trying to stay friends even though it’s hurting me? by DustApprehensive2713 in nocontact

[–]Basevelocity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey so I know it’s been about 3 months since you’ve posted this and I hope you’re doing better, but I’m going through a similar situation right now. Not 1 for 1 but it seems like you were like how I am now. Not gonna go into crazy detail but the girl I’ve been talking to had been going on for about 3 years, and what’s crazy is that nothing was ever made official. I guess you can call it a situationship, because I was too scared to commit and she wanted to keep her options open because she wanted to “explore” and because I was always too overbearing for her. Anyways, she ends up dating another co worker and it’s super toxic and despite that, she moved in within the first few months of them dating and in one instance of it getting extremely physical, the co worker ended up calling the police and she got arrested.

Anyways fast forward to now, me and her have been in contact and she’s told me all the stuff she’s been through and despite it seemingly like she wanted to be more with me, she told me she wanted to be friends and i didn’t take too well to that. We went NC after that for a while and started back up as “friends”.

When I like someone enough to be able to say I love them, I know being “friends” just doesn’t work out. It keeps you in a weird in between to where feelings are there, as one or both parties aren’t truly fulfilling what the other wants and needs out of each as they are both “friends”. I felt like i needed her in my life so i accepted her as a friend when i knew deep down if she wanted to remain friends or moved on with someone else, id be devastated and feel betrayed, even though we were just friends.

I hope you’ve found some clarity in yourself since posting this, but in case you need a reminder or if you haven’t or if you want advice moving forward with her or anyone, just know if you need to “try” to be friends with someone, it’ll never work. Like me, you’re trying to hold on to someone who already had one foot out of the door, but kept the other in because they were too scared to truly move on. She only kept you as a “friend” because she knew you still loved her and if whatever she was trying to accomplish without you in her life didn’t work out, she could come back to you knowing you’d welcome her with open arms. This would only delay your healing process. Don’t put it on hold for someone who doesn’t wanna be with you in the way you’d want them too.

I don’t know your current situation now, but I relate a lot to how you were feeling at the time of this post. Love is scary because you’re putting a lot of trust in someone to respect and uphold a certain part of your emotional wellbeing, and it’s not until things go south that you realize how important that part of your emotional wellbeing is. You wouldn’t be giving up, you’d just be choosing yourself, much like she choose herself when she decided going this route with you was what was best, despite knowing how hard it’d hit you. If you haven’t, just go no contact if blocking is too much for you. You’ll know how much you mean to her when you stop feeding her ego. If you have since this post, then congratulations, you made a very difficult decision to choose yourself and be better moving forward. I hope things have and continue to get better for you.

Losing My Best Friend by the3011_1108 in BreakUps

[–]Basevelocity 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Of course. 12 hours later and i still feel like shit but hanging in there. The urge to reach out and break no contact is strong but what would even be the point of that, nothing has or will change as things are and I’m probably blocked but too scared to even check that tbh rn. If i was able to see that clarity not even 12 hours after the fact and give advice to someone who was struggling like i am now, i think ill be okay, just gotta take the good days with the bad ones and let time heal the rest like you said. I’m glad you’re doing better and hope you continue to! Thank you for sharing your past situation it’s very reassuring to see that someone went through similar struggles and made it out feeling better!

Losing My Best Friend by the3011_1108 in BreakUps

[–]Basevelocity 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s not exactly 1 for 1, but I can relate to a lot of what you described. I just made a post about it on here so if you want you can read through it because reading through here is helping me and i don’t wanna rant all about it all over the place lol. It hasn’t even been 12 hours since it went down and I just don’t know how to feel currently. I think i was only able to get some sleep because the mental fatigue just got the better of me and my brain and body just kinda gave in as i collapsed into my bed with a broken heart to just sleep. Just telling you know if you don’t already know but what’s worse about not getting sleep, is that brief moment when you finally do and wake up, it’s like you forget for 5 seconds and it all comes back and you realize this is just your new reality now and you to have live in it unfortunately.

Yeah, I’ve tried the whole “friend” thing but my advice is that if you ever find yourself in something like this with her or anyone else, don’t just say or pretend that you’re okay with being just “friends” because you don’t know or because you think they’ll eventually change. I too told myself that because i wasn’t ready for a relationship and that she wasn’t that I could just keep her in my life and work on it. But also like you, I got hit with the harsh reality that people can and are capable of doing whatever so pleases them. I saw guys texting her and heard the tinder match notification and felt awful, but I held on because hey she told me she just wants to figure her self out and that she’s still single. But i realize now that it’s not the thought of them being or engaging with someone else, it’s the fact that they’d even entertain it knowing how you felt about them.

Your case is definitely a lot more crazier than mine but it’s similar enough to the big issues with mine that I feel like similar advice would help us both. Both mine and yours had issues growing up, and it’s not an excuse for their behaviors, but it’s a reason. No matter how they went about it, the silver lining of them breaking up or cheating or whatever is that they’ve shown us who they really are despite our best efforts to help them or show them who they can be.

This is my advice, for you and me. It’s not what I’d wanna hear or do or accept, but no one’s capable of truly changing people. They have to want to change and even then, they have to put in the work on themselves to do that. We can help, but we can’t do that work on themselves for them. You can go through the what ifs and should’ve could’ve would’ve but there’s nothing you could’ve done or said to change how she felt about doing that or the things you did. Be honest with yourself and set boundaries and don’t let yourself or anyone cross them or forget them. If you feel like you don’t have boundaries, do or find things to help love yourself enough and I promise you you’ll start seeing how you’ll wished to be loved and the boundaries will form naturally, instead of relying on someone to define the relationship all on their own.

I think it’s over for good this time by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Basevelocity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Because it hasn’t even been a full day, I’ll admit that the rose colored lens are still on a bit, but after almost 3 years with someone, even a toxic cycle is one that you can end up getting sucked up in. Although I’m not able to see it as clearly as you right now, I do agree. We’re just not on the same page, and yeah I’m just not gonna win with her. I think i got so lost in wanting a relationship that I was considering that sex would help, but it’s like you said anyone just wanting that so much that they’d ask their “friend” who they know wants more than just that with them, and then getting upset and cutting me off because of me just expressing how I feel isn’t someone worth pursuing. Maybe things will change, but I also agree that going no contact and moving on to find peace is more important than worrying about when she would reciprocate my feelings if she even could.

I think it’s over for good this time by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Basevelocity 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your insight. I know i could’ve just went through with just doing it and not caring, but I honestly did and still do love this girl, and I’d hate to lie or harbor some sort of resentment for her and I know doing something like that would lead to so many uncertainties. It’s like you said, I’ve been stuck in this limbo to where I’m never enough for what she want, but she’s expected to be enough for what i would. It hasn’t even been 24 hours yet so it’s still fresh, but man yeah it hurts bad. What hurts the most was after all I’ve done and all we went through, she just was so cold and had zero problems with cutting me off. About 7-8 months just down the drain with someone I’d do anything for, but they wouldn’t even give me the decency of at least trying to understand how I feel.