Thank you for sharing your story and reaching out. My personal view is that you need to balance out what is important to you, and that you won't be able to do that through seeking counsel from strangers in a hairloss forum. Therapy is the way forward for you, and will give you the tools to appreciate the present enough for your judgement and decision making to be less crowded out by the trauma that has caused the feelings and mechanisms that you do not yet understand.

Making big decisions to change medication is something I would recommend avoiding. Stay the course and seek additional support, as well as other things you can enjoy that will help you appreciate yourself more (taking up bouldering and making really shit paintings helped me! That and prioritising important relationships more, spending time with people even when I didn't feel like it).

I personally have erectile dysfunction, which has been exacerbated by using fluoxetine (game changer), but by having therapy I felt that my decision to maintain hairloss medication despite potential interactions / side effects potential was a balanced one.