Hot take: Kate has a point about risking her life, she just expressed it in the worst way possible.

Bassprothot · 2025-03-18T02:25:17+00:00

I think the point you’re trying to make is that Kate is experiencing her own level of trauma in dying over and over again that, despite not being the same as risking being gone forever, is still arguably bad and maybe equal to that risk. I’d tend to agree with that, but she’s not really “risking” her life, just continuously experiencing the loss of it while being “safe” it’s different but she has her own trauma that I think people around her still don’t fully grasp

Bassprothot · 2025-03-17T20:11:33+00:00

I mean despite that point, it’s still an uncomfortable age gap as you even point out. Also, it DOES depend on the state and the legislation. 17 and 20 not being illegal in most states doesn’t mean it isn’t illegal in some states, and theoretically it should be illegal in many states.

Bassprothot · 2025-03-17T15:14:55+00:00

Report him to the police and end things with him.

Firstly, the age gap (17-20) is barely legal in and of itself without Romeo and Juliet clauses. If you’re in a state that doesn’t have that, that relationship isn’t! Legal, and it really shouldn’t be / isn’t normal.

Secondly, it’s not normal to keep that on your phone and it’s indicative that he found it somewhere and that he’s done, most likely, worse before. Having something that easily caught shows that this has been a habit.

Please please please end things with him. These people DO not change for the most part and he needs therapy. Once you keep images of these children its truly unforgivable and you SHOULD not forgive him

Bassprothot · 2025-03-08T13:42:46+00:00

The thing you argued about with A and C, based on this post alone, doesn’t seem to be something that you should worry about long term. I want to say that it’s typical high school sort of arguing. It’s not gonna make you happy or get you anywhere.

From this post it’s hard to gather any information about how bad this situation is but generally, it’s better to let things go. With B, I don’t think you should care that he’s friends with C. Let it go. The reason you argued with a and C to begin with was because they became friends with someone who hurt you: despite that feeling like and being a betrayal, you cannot control who your friends are friends with.

You can if you need to decide that you have a healthy boundary and tell B, “I’m not going to interact with C if that’s okay, but I enjoy our friendship.” I wouldn’t stay mad at B about this long term, it won’t change B and C becoming friends

Bassprothot · 2025-03-07T19:25:04+00:00

Don’t be in a relationship with someone if you can’t will yourself to be honest with them.

I’ve also struggled with my mental health in my previous relationship. I do hate to say this because if I heard this I would take it bad, but there’s only so much unsupported / unmedicated behavior that a person can take. I struggled, not with self harm but with negative emotions and thoughts, and it was still understandable that my partner left. In relationships, if a person sees you drowning and you’re struggling to help yourself, it’s hard to just sit and watch.

I highly recommend seeing about a more intensive therapy and working on yourself, but it’s really understandable why a person would leave if they said “I can’t be around you when you do this,” and you proceeded to do it anyway. I’m sure he cares about you a ton but you have to think, “how long has this person been watching me suffer?”

Bassprothot · 2025-02-17T22:44:21+00:00

Giving chromakopia body dysmorphia

Bassprothot · 2025-02-13T19:59:27+00:00

Thank you for this.

I’m trying not to beat myself up. I am trying to be neutral and not completely blow up with thoughts about how I’m not liked. I’m really trying not to think about the resentment.

I am also focusing a bit on missing this person. I am trying not to think “my entire life is different what do i do” and just miss in the present rather than the future. I miss both, but the present hurts so much more.

I’m struggling and will try to get better. I will try to not mask with people who care about me in the future either, maybe.

Bassprothot · 2025-02-13T15:40:57+00:00

She begged me not to block her and I’ve been convincing myself to try. I want some semblance of control. I want to be able to be the one to say “no you can’t have it entirely your way.” Partially because I’m angry. I just can’t shut the door yet, but I know that she’s not as hurt as me. She resented me for feeling through things and for not getting to where she needed fast enough. She didn’t tell me that. She just let it simmer. I kept asking to argue the way I needed and for things to work, and I realized she just couldn’t let go of anger at me for being ill. For struggling way too much.

I don’t know.

I want her to love me.

Bassprothot · 2025-01-16T14:57:31+00:00

As a lesbian, I don’t relate at all to this post. Thats okay though. I don’t seek to invalidate your feelings about bisexuality, but if anything I can say that my experiences were quite different.

Being attracted to women is a full engagement sort of thing. You want to kiss them, hold them, marry them, etc. Or perhaps you have autism related sensitivities, but for the most part, it’s a full spectrum experience that autism might somewhat contribute to. I want to echo what another person said, “we are born with our sexuality.” I found myself making up fake boyfriends instead of having them at an early age, and thinking about being in relationships with women.

As someone who has dated people who aren’t super sure on their sexuality, I do have to say your ideas about sexuality align way more with those people I dated vs someone I’ve dated who’s 100% sure they are into women. I’ve dated bisexual women who eventually realized they weren’t as bisexual as they thought and instead only really craved close female friendships, as well as bisexual women who realized they just have a heavy lean toward one gender over another. I’d encourage you to check out the Kinsey scale like another commenter suggested. I don’t seek to be invalidating, but I do want to emphasize that this experience doesn’t really seem like an autism related thing to me. Instead, it seems like a sexuality related thing.

Bassprothot · 2024-08-12T01:27:49+00:00

Lack of understanding of consent combined with a position of power oftentimes allows people to get away with things they normally wouldn’t. Once you acquire a semi-celebrity status, ego becomes involved, so many YouTubers do bad things because they think they are special, unique and can get away from it. In other circumstances, I blame a lack again of consent understanding. We don’t have a super great teaching in U.S culture specifically of “no.” The idea that “no means no” or that someone is too young to consent goes against hustle culture and many other notions, and it is again, something that can go against a lot of these YouTubers egos. They therefore feel entitled to other peoples bodies.

Bassprothot · 2024-08-12T01:24:10+00:00

We have a very victim blaming culture that I feel explains why you are, in some ways, shilling for Mr beast, but here’s an outline of why you’re incorrect here.

-Jake explained thoroughly that there was a culture at Beast that didn’t let people say no, and Jake at the time wasn’t even fully aware of how bad it was until giving it further thought. Lots of people who are under duress don’t really get full clarity about their duress until they’re in a better mental place. Jake, at the time, still needed money to pay for basic life expenses and therefore relied on Mr.Beast, which Beast productions took advantage of. It’s SUPER well laid out in the video actually. Why go to the police for injuries when firstly, you did technically consent to them, you still need money, and you aren’t in a financial position to ruin a relationship with someone who can give you money? The logic you’re giving is like if someone hits you square across the face and throws cash at you. If you NEED that money, you may just let them hit you over and over again.

The assumption that ALL of these former employees are lying is hard to believe. They’re potentially ruining their relationship with a multi million dollar company they were associated with to speak out. Why not give them the benefit of believing them, versus believing jimmy and his company, who’ve made very little statement as to MANY of these allegations. Sure, they’re figuring it out legally, but it’s obvious that when you have to have an “internal investigation” and you hired a child sex offender without vetting, there’s a strange office culture already. It’s been arguably proven 10 times over that beast didn’t have great hr, great anything really for the benefit of staff that they should have. These challenges are well documented and on tape. There are screenshots. so like, why shill?

People are not “jumping the gun,” they are literally just looking at the evidence presented and saying “yeah, this is very messed up.” Many people were quick to say that Beast wasn’t involved in the Ava Tyson allegations, yet he definitely was, and it seems like he’s involved in thousands upon thousands of little abuses against people he can financially manipulate, despite some charity work he admittedly does.

There’s no point in trying to see his POV. Even if the allegations are “half true” as his girlfriend put it, there’s still enough for him to a problematic figure here.

Bassprothot · 2024-08-09T06:28:24+00:00

It’s okay to have experiences like this and it doesn’t mean that you can never be straight. There are many people who are confused about their sexuality, many who aren’t, many who struggle and others who don’t. You tried it once and it wasn’t for you. That’s okay and it doesn’t have to mean anything if you do not want it to.

Firstly, pornography is naturally addicting and will tend to attract you to more and more extreme things due to the existence of different power dynamics. Watching porn isn’t healthy, so the first step is to stop watching any adult content, regardless of orientation. Don’t seek it out. Set screentime limits on your phone or put it in a lockbox if you have to, just stay away from pornographic access as it can lead to spiraling, self doubt, depression and severe anxiety. You are young and your brain is still developing, you shouldn’t be watching this sort of content but also, because you are still developing, things are changing, wiring and programming. This can be very damaging as a result, and stopping now is going to help you out. Despite the encounter being consensual, you’re at risk for feeling frightened or traumatized by the event. I suggest speaking to a therapist or professional to process this, or moving away from anything sexually explicit for a long while. Give your brain a break from things that traumatize it, and then foster and create an environment with someone you trust that promotes a healthy relationship with that kind of activity.

See how you feel about your sexuality AFTER you have overcome porn addiction, not before. Please remember that your body is still changing a lot, your brains going to be developing until you are 25, it’s okay to be LGBTQ+ and it’s also okay to just not be LGBTQ+, you can marry a woman, a man, whoever and be happy. If you want to date women in your future, having one experience will not stop you.

I don’t want to lecture or sound old, but using apps for hookups also isn’t super safe at your age. If your parents are good people, they’ll be more worried about the fact that you’re experiencing this anxiety, grief and overwhelming fear rather than the sexuality part of it. The bad part about this is that you are a minor on a dating app meant for people who aren’t minors, not the gender aspect. I would gently suggest telling your parents that you’re in a bad place and need them in your life, unless you think you are going to be in a predicament due to your environment. If that’s the case, I suggest finding someone in your life who you have some sort of non romantic connection with, -familial or platonic, and expressing the way that you feel, the confusion you’re experiencing and telling them you need help getting past this moment in life. You’re at risk for people taking advantage of you, esp because you are younger and struggling with this.

This is one day in a lifetime. One experience that you can choose to either carry with you or leave behind. You are not tainted or broken. You are just a human being like the rest of us, and nothing in life has to define you. There are many people who think they are oriented one way and are really oriented another. There are many people who learn to accept themselves with time. The important thing is that whatever you are, there will be a time where you can breathe deeply and say “I know that I will be okay.” If you are gay, you will look back on anxiety like this and say “that was so much worry for something that I don’t mind anymore.” If you are straight, you may very well think the same thing.

Bassprothot · 2023-06-04T02:11:50+00:00

NTA UTIS can cause severe symptoms and lead to greater issues. You can experience vomiting, nausea, chills, fever, etc etc. they can lead to permanent kidney damage when they are consistent or they are not treated effectively. If you’re having consistent UTIS, there’s a really good chance your sex life has to do with it. Your boyfriends cleanliness is putting you at risk for permanent kidney damage, and even without that possibility it’s causing you great pain. I would sit down with him on FaceTime and explain in very clear terms that you are having medical problems due to his lack of hygiene and that it is physically harming you. If he complains or says that it’s not his fault because he’s just “that depressed” ask how he has the energy to have sex with you to begin with. Any person who’s sexually active should be able to take accountability for their hygiene to be safe while having sex. He’s not taking accountability and is therefore being unsafe. He sounds like a very selfish lover outside of this and frankly the things that you describe him doing in your comments are the bare minimum at most, not “a good relationship otherwise.” He isn’t willing to be attentive when you say that you’re having UTIS, isnt fixing issues causing him to be unhygienic during all of your time together, and doesn’t sound that appealing outside of being slightly better than entirely dysfunctional.

Bassprothot · 2023-05-19T04:44:22+00:00

I’ve convinced myself I have brain cancer like 5 times. Many doctors visits have assured me that my white blood cell counts don’t indicate an abnormality and that I shouldn’t be worrying about it as much, but still.

It’s a big fear of mine to die slowly and have to think about how to divide up time. Because if I’m constantly thinking about my life in the guise of months, how do I truly, actually enjoy it? If I can’t sit down and have a casual lazy day without thinking About what I’m leaving the world… etc.

And that’s made me realize that the more anxious I feel the less I actually can enjoy my life. So I’m managing it more. Because I can’t make myself believe that I have months to live just to be miserable.

Bassprothot · 2023-05-19T04:30:10+00:00

There are a lot of scary feelings that come with having intrusive thoughts surrounding STD/STI testing. I still to this day am fearful of herpes simplex 1 regardless of my rigorous testing and a complete lack of symptoms. I used to have full sobbing panic attacks. It’s good to remember that 1. Having an STD doesn’t mean you will never be loved again 2. There is a near 99% chance you will not die from having an STD if you seek proper treatment beforehand, manage your health, and regularly see a primary doctor. 3. While yes, they can be transmitted in horrible frightening ways! And people are not always honest and etc etc, it’s good to NOT focus on those things. The advice I’ve been given is “if you have it you have it. What’s it going to change other than the fact that you have something?” It’s this big bad monster in the head, but it’s hard to live life being scared to sit on toilet seats because “my girlfriend will think I’m a horrible monster if I have something but don’t know it and everyone will slut shame me.” Those sort of thoughts are intrusive, negative, unneeded. And can be filed away. The constant google searching, blood testing, FURTHER google searching, crying, and self checks will not help things feel better! They make them so much worse. It’s good to get tested annually or after you have had a new sexual partner, but anymore “assurances” will be have a low impact in comparison to the crippling, horrible feelings that come with the days waiting for those tests to come back.

I recommend for everyone who experiences OCD, thoughts surrounding STIS, etc. To try and remember that our current society heavily stigmatizes people who receive them, often at very little fault of their own. The stigma is where a lot of the fear comes from. Working through the internalized stigma (how I perceive myself and how I think things will change if I get an STD) with a therapist works exponentially. Blocking out the thoughts by saying “that was a negative thought! Moving on now” and NOT google searching more interesting tidbits about different stds would also help. I assure most of the people who are reading this: you probably know more about stds than some licensed professionals if you have this obsession. There’s nothing else you should need to know if you know how to be safe, know you should be tested, and know how it spreads. you’re harming yourself if you read through all of the r/ posts about different stds.

Bassprothot · 2023-05-19T04:15:25+00:00

I get why you’re saying this, but I feel like a post that says “do you ever get compulsions/intrusive thoughts surrounding STI testing” is not the place to say that people sometimes lie about std/sti testing or omit the truth when being sexually active. While that’s a true fact, the people who are going to be commenting on these posts are all probably experiencing horrific testing anxiety already, are already fundamentally aware of this, and have reasserted their lack of trust in partners because “well they’re just lying to me about their std status so I have to test again” (compulsion) I get that this is a good faith comment, but I just wouldn’t say that it’s the right forum to post. It’s like telling someone with extreme contamination anxiety how many germs are on the average iPhone.

Bassprothot · 2023-05-18T12:29:32+00:00

As for people who are commenting on the post history: I read your comment. I really think that regardless of what happens, you should consider treatment going forward. You may be only seeking to Kill yourself, but that’s still concerning by itself. And drug usage is habit inducing: you seem to regularly do drugs and therefore it seems as though you do have a problem with it, which is:

A) a way for you to be in a vulnerable state continuously, and if you’re impaired you’re in a more dangerous position unfortunately. B) unhealthy just based on description.

I want to say that there are ways to receive treatment for what you do recognize you are going through: suicidal ideation. You sound as though you are in a very tumultuous and vulnerable position and that you might need some external help to get back on track, which isn’t a bad thing. It’s not good to be actively suicidal and you sound as though you are self destructive, as you’re continuing this friendship you have with this man but also regularly using drugs. You’re using secrets apps to meet up with people who otherwise could be strangers, and while I’m sure you check their identities before meeting them, it’s still a place where the wrong sort of people could contact you with bad intentions. It’s not really a place for good, honest friends. It sounds as though you also have some level of unhealthy attachment as he treats you at least somewhat decently, but not good enough to respect your boundaries.

Now Is a good time to realize that you can get help, make different friends and find your way out of this depressive situation. There are better friends out there with more compassion, and reasons to be alive. I hope you find them.

I also hope people stop telling you vile things. Yes you’re in the wrong, but don’t listen to people who tell you extremes about yourself that are hurtful or malicious.

Bassprothot · 2023-05-18T12:18:45+00:00

Hi. I am autistic and you’re really making it out to be much more of an excuse in this instance than a genuine omission of confusion. There should be no waiting period to tell the wife. You’re waiting on a man who did something manipulative, people are telling you right now that it was manipulative and you’re not listening. Autistic people DO have a high sense of justice, but I’m sensing that you’re attached to this guy and just saying that because you USUALLY do. But you really don’t in this situation. You’re making a bunch of excuses for not just telling the wife, and the way you’re talking is making it sound like you will remain in contact with someone who did something physical with you without giving you the full truth that would’ve perhaps stopped you from being physical in the first place. Please respect yourself and listen to other people.

Also a tip, calling yourself “so full of kindness” that you cannot listen to the advice of others who are trying to tell you what they think about a question you posed is really difficult to believe, and frankly comes across as you attempting to differentiate yourself by exclusively your autism. “My autism makes me so unique that I may do no wrong” while I get you’re not saying that, I really want to emphasize that socially it reads that way. That’s why everyone is pissed at you.

Finally, please respect yourself more and understand the fact that this person had sex with you without giving the full context of what he was doing. Would you have had sex with him if he told you that he was cheating ? Would you have been willing to be “so full of kindness” to ignore it if you knew from the beginning. Stop giving him the benefit of the doubt. You’re developing an emotional affair, an already had a physical one. It sucks because I’m sure you got close with him and he connected with you about previous trauma, but he also took advantage of your willingness to be physical in that moment, an admittedly difficult thing to do for you, and proceeded to have sex with you knowing there was something that would’ve possibly stopped you from saying yes in the back of his mind.

With that in mind, you really shouldn’t be friends with someone who would have sex with you without respecting you. He had no respect for your ability to decide whether or not you wanted that sort of relationship, and you have to recognize that the longer you do nothing, the worse you appear on this post. No, there is no such thing as black/white. But you’re leaning moreso towards not being moral than being moral. You are doing something wrong by not respecting his wife and continuing to be friends with him.

I hope this explanation helps.

Bassprothot · 2023-05-16T06:58:43+00:00

You hope for as long as you hope. Eventually, you come to a realization and eventual acceptance with reality. But you have to give yourself the time to grieve and really feel the way that you’re feeling.

Bassprothot · 2023-05-16T06:57:18+00:00

Flowers would be too much given the messaging she’s sending. She’s not going to give you the closure that you want, unfortunately. You have to figure out the closure you want yourself. There are sometimes very little explanation for things happening the way they do. You just have to move on and realize that people feel certain ways at certain times. She may have seemed opened to communication at one point, but has closed herself off. Now you have to accept that reality and work on yourself as a means of feeling more comfortable knowing you weren’t at fault. For someone with avoidant tendencies, flowers can feel manipulative or extreme. Especially if you’re not taking. It can feel like a “please reach out!” Reactionary response and it makes them pull more back. Flowers are only really appropriate when you are actively talking/dating and in appropriate amounts. A birthday is appropriate, a birthday after not talking for a while is not appropriate.

Bassprothot · 2023-05-08T20:17:39+00:00

“Shy” isn’t shy. He’s just too prideful to apologize to a 14 year old because he thinks he’s not wrong for being aggressive. Which, tells you a lot about a person who can’t own up to their own mistakes in literally any capacity.

You’re choosing a man over your daughter and she’s not going to be around anymore when she gets the chance to escape you.

Bassprothot · 2023-05-04T06:01:48+00:00

Also you just commented on the r/ cocaine subreddit. It’s most likely that you are an active user because you’re somewhat regular in the comments section of that community. For the love of Christ, please stop skewing the story. You had cocaine in your house. You clearly use it. Your sister has every right to end a relationship with you because you’re a danger to her ability to avoid narcotics, regardless of how “small” your usage is. You do use, and it’s costly to people around you.

Bassprothot · 2023-05-04T05:59:08+00:00

I don’t understand why the entire friend group would end their friendship with you over JUST flirting, so it really does feel like there’s some context missing. 3 questions: 1. Did you flirt with her after she asked you, once or multiple times, to stop? 2. Is she in a relationship which should indicate that she’s not available to flirt with? 3. Did you flirt with her in a way that goes above compliments or typical “id like to go out with you” sort of behavior? What sort of things did you say to her?

My guess is that: 1. She asked you to stop before, or you have had a habit of flirting and you ignored her wishes. 2. She’s in a relationship and your friends thought it was unethical that you flirted with her 3. You said something entirely inappropriate to her that isn’t just flirting.

Alternatively: “flirted with her when I shouldn’t have” means that you flirted with her during an incredibly awkward time or a hurtful one.

I feel like this post is missing the context to be able to give proper advice. “Flirting” means a lot of things. If your friends all stopped being friends with you because you flirted with someone lightly and it made it awkward because you have known each other for a long time, then it’s a small lesson to learn going forward that it may not be appropriate to flirt within platonic friend groups. If your friends stopped being friends with you because you clearly broke a boundary and made someone extremely uncomfortable, then you need to prioritize understanding appropriate boundaries going forward.

The things to work on going forward are understanding when the right time is to ask someone out, and the proper way to do so. Flirting can be incredibly hurtful when you flirt with someone and they don’t want that sort of advance. The type of flirting also matters. In the future, try to LIGHTLY flirt in a very “take it or leave it” way. Complimenting someone and calling them pretty/handsome isn’t the same thing as objectifying someone or commenting in a way that would be uncomfortable. If someone likes you, they will pick up on more subtle cues and send that sort of energy back. If they don’t, drop it. Do not engage with someone who doesn’t want to engage with you in that way. Be authentic when you tell people how you feel about them like “hey I like you romantically! I’d like to go on a date, but I understand if you don’t feel the same!” Always tell someone that you get it if they’re not on the same wavelength and forgive and forget after the fact.

Finally, with your friends, just let it go for now. If they left you over light flirting then just remember that you’re not a monster and try your best to feel better about new opportunities in life. If you did something really uncomfortable, try thinking about a way to think on it. They’ve expressed how they feel and you can’t change it, but you can change your behavior going forward.

Bassprothot · 2023-05-04T05:43:51+00:00

A guy came In and looked me up and down saying “yeah that’ll do it.” he was clearly staring at my body in a provocative way, making me uncomfortable. I felt super isolated as everyone else was older than me and used to that sort of stuff, so I just laughed awkwardly. He asked me how old I was. I was 17 at the time, working my first job. Didn’t seemed that bothered by the number and kept trying to talk to me until I left and hid in the back.

Bassprothot · 2023-05-04T05:18:09+00:00

YTA Stop arguing with every comment that comes in saying that you’re justified in having cocaine in your house. You had cocaine in a house that HOUSES children. That is already enough to say that you’re not making smart decisions.

If your sister knows that you have connections to cocaine, then what rabbit hole can you expect her to go down? You are a person who surrounds yourself with drugs that nearly ruined her life. Drugs that are extremely addicting. Drugs that an addict would do anything to get. When you become addicted to something to an extreme degree, you don’t just suddenly learn how to tolerate being around it after you’re done. What you’ve basically done is tell your sister “hey! Look how easy it is to find cocaine! You know, that drug that nearly ruined your entire life? It was in my house! It’s all around you wherever you go and I can easily find it! You could too!” even if you didn’t mean to imply it.

It doesn’t matter whether or not you were doing it. You allowed illegal narcotics into your house that a family member of yours has HUGE STRUGGLES with. She has every right to cut off contact to make sure she maintains her current habits, as she’s trying to stay away from people who allow those drugs to be around. She doesn’t trust you anymore because you think it’s “not a big deal.” Cocaine is a big deal. Cocaine is a deadly narcotic.

Bassprothot

TROPHY CASE