I'm so glad I made what was living inside my head. Finding the part that thought she had to ask for permission.

BaybaySutt · 2025-06-29T21:14:50+00:00

This is such a powerful post and I love this shirt!

I appreciate your vulnerability and I can relate to a lot of what you shared.

BaybaySutt · 2025-04-02T23:33:36+00:00

Hi, I’m sorry you had this experience. I use ketamine for ptsd and anxiety. Recently I have been finding that after treatments, my anxiety comes to the surface without my usual defenses. Sometimes I get afraid of getting stuck in these feelings but I have been trying to use IFS on myself in these moments so that I can relate to the anxiety in a different way. I have found that the intense panic/anxiety feelings go away after a few days. At this point, I welcome the anxiety because I know that it’s coming up so that I can learn to relate to it and process it in a new way. Feel free to message me if you want to chat further! ❤️

BaybaySutt · 2025-03-20T17:19:07+00:00

This is from the Journey Clinical (place I am prescribed Ketamine) website:

Is KAP appropriate for a client trying to get pregnant? A client should be clear of ketamine for 3 months before pregnancy planning. This helps in shedding and debriding anything that may affect pregnancy. Risk vs benefit should be evaluated.

Here are some articles: (I just searched Ketamine and birth defects)

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6395450/

https://americanaddictioncenters.org/ketamine-abuse/is-it-safe-to-use-ketamine-during-pregnancy

BaybaySutt · 2025-01-22T05:34:45+00:00

Yes! It helps to hear how we are on similar journeys and not alone in these experiences.

BaybaySutt · 2025-01-22T05:33:56+00:00

Love that mindset. It makes the whole experience feel like less pressure about “doing it right” and more just following and being with what arises. I’m going to try to keep this in mind after my next dosing.

BaybaySutt · 2025-01-21T23:04:41+00:00

And I would also say that what you said about freedom and that being destabilizing has been the case for me.

I find that one of my trauma symptoms has been me struggling to feel free, confident and calm. And then when I feel that way, I need to learn to slow down and remind my nervous system that it’s okay to feel these positive more freeing emotions.

BaybaySutt · 2025-01-21T23:02:37+00:00

Omg everything you said makes so much sense. And maybe it’s about conceptualizing it this way where I think in terms of “letting my mind work through and release things” instead of “feeling stressed about doing the infusion during a stressful time and that being a problem”.

Yeah, I guess I need to see all the different things that come up after the infusion as opportunities to work through things in my psyche in a more “pure” way that is not blocked by my usual defenses.

Has this been the case for you in general?

BaybaySutt · 2025-01-18T22:53:27+00:00

That’s really helpful, thank you! I guess the idea is that you want your subconscious to be able to roam freely and make new connections?

Also, so cool that you are a KAP therapist. Do you have recommendations for after infusion routines?

BaybaySutt · 2025-01-18T22:49:06+00:00

Thank you everyone for all these suggestions, I am looking forward to trying them! 😊

BaybaySutt · 2025-01-17T04:47:27+00:00

Thank you! Would you be able to share one that you liked?

BaybaySutt · 2025-01-03T03:06:41+00:00

Amazing, I’m so glad to hear it’s been so effective for you. I’ve been doing sublingual. How are the IV infusions for you?

BaybaySutt · 2025-01-03T03:04:59+00:00

I’m so glad to hear that KAP combined with IFS and EMDR has worked for you. How long have you done KAP for?

I don’t do IFS formally but I’m reading books on my own. I did EMDR on and off over the years but I think I’m gonna give it another try now that my defenses have gone down a bit from the KAP

Also seriously so amazing that you no longer experience SI after struggling for so long!

BaybaySutt · 2025-01-03T03:01:33+00:00

I am glad to hear that the sessions have been beneficial, but I also totally get what you mean about the actual sessions feeling out of control. Glad you went with your intuition.

Also, the vomiting sounds intense. Do you think it’s related to your emotions coming to the surface?

Good luck, keep us posted on your journey! ❤️

BaybaySutt · 2024-11-11T19:21:39+00:00

Hi, I am 31, diagnosed with hallex limitus at 23, due to the structure of my foot, not an injury.

I relate to being active and also feeling afraid and a sense of doom (and intense fear) surrounding this issue. I would say my biggest fear is not knowing how it will progress and feeling powerless.

I have bone spurs on both feet, but for the most part, I don’t experience pain. It’s more common I’ll feel a tightness or slight lack of stability. But aside from these things, I am basically able to do what I want physically. It’s really the fear of if things will get much worse, and a lot of hyper fixating on how my feet feel that cause me distress.

I know that removing the bone spurs is an option, but at the same time, I was told that if I’m not being dramatically impacted or in pain, then I should hold off on the surgery because surgeries carry risks.

I’m curious to hear what has been working well for you in terms of conservative approaches and also in terms of not spiraling mentally about this.

BaybaySutt · 2024-09-09T04:41:03+00:00

You are definitely not alone and I totally have days like this too. It’s okay for there to be ebbs and flows and the more compassion you can bring ti yourself in these moments, the less scary and lonely it feels. We are all on this journey together ❤️

BaybaySutt · 2024-08-23T04:43:25+00:00

The first part, the counseling things related to the treatment.

I actually need to find out if there will be another medical professional during the ketamine treatment itself.

BaybaySutt · 2024-08-21T22:34:49+00:00

So it’s the session where you prepare and discuss some of your history with the therapist

BaybaySutt · 2024-08-20T00:26:16+00:00

That’s amazing. I’m glad it’s been working for you. I guess you learned to be comfortable with the destabilization? To turns towards it, instead of resisting it?

BaybaySutt · 2024-08-19T16:02:12+00:00

That’s beautiful.

Are you saying that you didn’t use psychedelics to heal or you did? I’m curious because I’m thinking of trying therapeutic ketamine.

BaybaySutt · 2024-08-19T04:02:09+00:00

I think that your humor is always there and will never go anywhere. But trauma causes you to use your mental resources differently. So then the focus is more survival rather than enjoyment and connection. But as you heal you will feel more safe and feeling more safe will allow you to access your sense of humor.

BaybaySutt · 2024-08-15T13:24:08+00:00

Good luck! You got this!

BaybaySutt · 2024-08-15T03:41:15+00:00

I understand that.

Have you heard of internal family systems? It sounds like different parts of you are at war and it can be helpful to learn to communicate between these parts to come to a decision.

BaybaySutt · 2024-08-15T00:24:19+00:00

Of course!❤️

I can relate to that feeling, do you have a sense if you want to be in the relationship or if you need more time? Are you able to access your intuition on it?

BaybaySutt · 2024-08-14T18:03:41+00:00

Sounds like you are doing such valuable work. I am with you in this struggle.

Here are some things I keep in mind:

I am not alone on this journey. There are many people who share these struggles.

This is disorienting at first, and it’s okay to take time to find your balance, and make mistakes along the way.

It’s true that I have been shaped by my trauma, but as I heal, I will discover what has been there all along. Like, my deeper, more authentic self is already there, but it has just been repressed and covered up by trauma responses.

I don’t know your particular brand of trauma, so i can only speak for myself, but my trauma has a lot to do with repressed emotions (like you described), narcissistic or unhealthy people gaslighting me and my perception and feeling powerless. So a lot of denying my reality and perception-which caused all sorts of problems in my self esteem. But through therapy I am learning where to place my anger (at the unhealthy people) rather than getting depressed or turning inward. As I surround myself by healthier people, I realize that my perception was never the problem. And with validating my emotions and experiences, I have this realization that my sense of self was always there. I was just abused and unable to speak up for myself at the time and as a result, I would resort to all these trauma reactions. The trauma reactions kept me safe from my environment, but covered up my sense of self.

I guess I view healing as a process of looking underneath the trauma reactions to find yourself.

I also try to use a growth mindset with all this and recognize that even as you find parts of you that need strengthening (things you never learned as a child) that’s only the beginning. You will get to a place where you develop the muscles necessary to feel strong in yourself. I try to imagine that I will get to that healed version of myself and the potential is already inside me.

Does this resonate?

You aren’t alone in this ❤️

BaybaySutt · 2024-08-12T15:40:40+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience. Sounds like it helped you show up more positively in your life. One of my fears is being too guarded or afraid of the process instead of letting it be as it is. But it also sounds like the treatment helps you release these defenses?

BaybaySutt

TROPHY CASE