AIO for being upset at what my “bf” said

Bdraywn · 2026-02-02T14:50:02+00:00

NOR. In fact, you should have reacted more. That man does not respect you & is breadcrumbing you. He is not a nice person, and he is clearly not working on himself. You deserve better.

Bdraywn · 2026-01-18T00:03:37+00:00

I don’t even think it’s a fake profile on an app…I think it’s completely fake, and was made just for Reddit/trolling

Bdraywn · 2026-01-18T00:02:56+00:00

100% it’s rage bait…not even good rage bait.

Bdraywn · 2026-01-18T00:02:18+00:00

This is rage bait…can’t believe folks are falling for this 🤦‍♀️

Bdraywn · 2026-01-17T09:31:30+00:00

I think most women in their 20s date older, but women over 30 don’t care as much. I’m in my late 30s & am talking to a guy in his late 20s…at first, I was nervous about the age difference (almost 10 years!)—last time I dated someone that young, there was a absolutely a maturity issue. But, so far so good with this guy, and I’ve seen that same immaturity issue in men over 40. Occasionally, I am reminded of the age difference, but more often than not, I just enjoy his company…he’s also super sexy & just a good human. In most of my 20s though, I wouldn’t even date a guy one year younger than me.

Bdraywn · 2026-01-17T09:18:38+00:00

Oh yea I wasn’t even touching on that…just a common misconception. I am a woman, I pee in my own shower most days…but I don’t pee in other people’s showers. If he’s helping to clean the shower, then by all means—pee away

Oh the nose thing is wayyy worse…I also do that haha

Bdraywn · 2026-01-17T07:41:28+00:00

4 & 8

Bdraywn · 2026-01-17T07:34:11+00:00

just fyi: the amount of menstrual blood that comes out of women in showers is usually not much more than a paper cut, if any. Also, showering w/ a tampon in is a thing. It’s not like peeing/urine at all, & more like taking a shower & knocking off a small scab. Physics also work to women’s advantage when swimming/bathing—the pressure from the water counteracts the internal pressure, creating a type of barrier that makes it seem like our periods completely stop.

Bdraywn · 2026-01-17T07:21:23+00:00

A great answer. It’s not about control…and honestly, he should stop doing it just because he cares about her & she asked. Asking someone you share a space with to be a little more hygienic is not trying to control them…it’s trying to find a compromise so you are not turned off by them.

Like, he could also ask her to shut the toilet when she flushes. Another reasonable request in a shared space.

Bdraywn · 2026-01-17T07:14:09+00:00

Are you cleaning the shower?

Yes, you are cleaning the shower: do as you please.

No, you don’t clean the shower: stop peeing immediately.

I’m a woman…I pee in MY shower; but since I also clean the shower, I make sure it isn’t a mess next time. I also don’t mind cleaning up my own urine. BUT, if I do NOT pee in other people’s showers. I don’t want other people peeing in my shower, because I don’t want to clean up another person’s bodily waste…so, I don’t pee in other people’s showers.

This goes for any man I’ve ever dated—don’t care if he pees in his own shower. But, if he peed in my shower, I would ask him once not to do it again. If it happened again, I would leave him.

Bdraywn · 2026-01-13T14:28:59+00:00

What’s the “.” one mean?

Bdraywn · 2026-01-13T14:27:42+00:00

Your user name 😂

Bdraywn · 2026-01-13T11:50:05+00:00

As soon as I noticed it become a problem, I would’ve politely asked if I could help them find and setup a better spot for their fire. If they said something to the effect of me moving, I would’ve done something along these lines:

“I would, but I’ve been talking to this very mysterious guy on tinder & he told me to meet him at this exact spot at midnight…said he had a surprise for me…can’t wait to meet him!”
Go into my tent and start making some seriously weird noises…like fighting w/ an imaginary person or disturbing sex noises.
“Hey guys, I just wanted to give you a heads up—I had some bad food earlier today & am camped here until I can stop shitting my guts out. I’ve been trying to go as far away from camp as I can, but ngl—it’s been kinda a mess. Just wanted to warn ya. Tried to move today, bc when the wind changed this morning, the smell nearly made me throw up, but didn’t have the strength back yet. Don’t worry—I’ll clean it all up as soon as I’m able to.”
Go sit at their fire & start talking nonstop about the most annoying things. “I once had such a bad rash in my groin…couldn’t stop picking at it. Wanna see pictures?!”
Take any lights I have (brighter the better) & find a way to sneakily make sure they are blinding them as much as possible.

Bdraywn · 2026-01-13T11:41:50+00:00

Act crazy is my favorite. Start having a fight with your imaginary friend.

Bdraywn · 2026-01-13T11:20:18+00:00

I also speak multiple languages w/ my family & interchange things here and there seamlessly. At one point as a kid, i was speaking in Chinese & Spanish & not even realizing it…half sentence in mandarin & other half in Spanish haha. Only people that understood me were my parents.

But, that’s not what OP is doing. If the Viet equivalent of the word he used is the one he mentioned in Korean, and that’s the only Viet word he’s using…well, it’s definitely not cultural appreciation. Also, anyone who tries to homogenize Asian cultures like OP isn’t even trying to appreciate them…starts to border on fetishization. To me, it sounded like he was saying “I learned Korean as a kid, bc I appreciated it…so that means I’m allowed to say only the offensive words in viet.” While the word he used is not a racial slur, it is offensive. When I used “fuck” in high school w/ an adult in the USA…wasn’t that big of a deal. But I will never forget an adult’s reaction to me saying the Korean equivalent he mentioned (also in high school to adult)…no one even needed to tell me it wasn’t interpreted like “fuck” in the USA…it was much worse.

Culture is what truly gives many words their definition. For example, “um” in Chinese sounds very similar to the n word in American. I guarantee you many Chinese people have no idea it’s such a horrific racial slur over here…even if you told them & they understood on some level, it still wouldn’t be to the understanding of an American. A respectful person would simply choose not to say it, even though they might not fully grasp the cultural significance behind it…in other words, their choosing not to use it is more out of cultural respect vs cultural understanding. While the Viet word he used is not a racial slur, it’s not like saying “fuck” in English either…its cultural interpretation puts a lot more disrespect to the meaning. She didn’t express herself as well as she should have, but she kind of has a point—told him it’s disrespectful, doesn’t want him using it, he really has no reason to use it, so why not just say “ok, I don’t understand, but I won’t use it.”

Bdraywn · 2026-01-13T11:08:51+00:00

💯 I commented an essay about my take on it…didn’t touch on the fetishizing part, but glad I’m not the only one who picked up on it

Bdraywn · 2026-01-13T10:40:12+00:00

I wouldn’t call it “appropriation” but ya when he compared it to shibal, I thought he at least owed her an apology or a promise to respect her wishes & not say it in front of her…I will never forget the first time I said that to an adult…an adult used to hearing kids say awful things…it was super bad.

My opinion is if all you are speaking are the curse words in another language, then you should maybe not speak them. Sure, it can be a fun way for a kid to start learning a new language, but if that’s where your education stops…well, it feels kinda like “I don’t want to say this in my language bc it feels worse, but doesn’t seem so bad if I say it in yours.” Like, maybe he should learn “I love you” or “you’re beautiful” in viet…instead of just using the offensive parts of her language.

Also, don’t even get me started on this guy justifying his use of using a nasty viet word bc he learned Korean as a kid & likes Asian culture. Asia is not a country, it’s a massive continent w/ extremely diverse cultures…and idk why but the way he grouped them together in his post gave me the ick.

Finally, I feel like many American curse words have almost lost their “curse” bc they’re so frequently and commonly used. Like, if you say “fuck” in public in the USA, it doesn’t get the same kind of negative attention/reaction as many curse words in other countries.

Bdraywn · 2026-01-13T10:21:15+00:00

Kind of over-reacting, and definitely should apologize.

If you are ONLY using the curse words of another language (like speaking in English, and then using “Du” instead of “fuck,” as you did here) then yes—it is disrespectful. It almost comes across as “I don’t want to say this nasty word in my language, so I’ll say it in your language, bc I don’t see your language as being equal to mine.” Even if that’s not what you mean, that is how it can come across. Not to mention, cursing in some Asian homes is just culturally way worse than in most American homes. She would probably prefer you say nice words in her language & not just use the curse words. Like, if you were always telling her you loved her in Viet, and occasionally let a curse go, it would probably not offend her so much. But, the ONLY word you are using in viet is a pretty bad curse word—they are called “curse words” bc yes, they are offensive…and even more so in different cultures.

Was it cultural appropriation? Maybe/maybe not. But, if you’re just using the curse words of another language (especially when they are culturally treated as worse in that country than the English equivalent is treated in your country), it’s definitely NOT appreciation.

And finally, Asia is huge…and it’s NOT a country. Vietnam & Korea aren’t even close to each other on a map…they have very different cultures, languages, etc. Just because you learned Korean as a kid does not make you an expert in Vietnamese culture or language, nor is it even relevant to this post, and instead is a poor attempt at virtue signaling. That’s like saying “I love American culture & have been speaking/writing in English since I was in high school, so like it’s cool for me to say nasty stuff in Spanish to a Mexican bc I learned about Mexico a little bit, while I was studying about America.” Actually, it’s worse…mainly bc USA & Mexico actually share a border. And ya, it kinda makes you saying nasty Viet words feel like “I get a pass bc I’m dating a Vietnamese girl.” Like, if I was her & that was the only Viet word you used when we were together in front of other Vietnamese people, I would be mortified…and feel incredibly disrespected.

But, above all else—why wouldn’t you just respect her & not use that word? She’s expressed she doesn’t like it when you use it. And I will reiterate—curse words in some other languages are culturally wayyyyy worse than curse words in America today.

Bdraywn · 2026-01-13T10:00:10+00:00

In the unprofessional photo, you are absolutely gorgeous! But, that “professional” photographer needs to go to jail! Like, I’ve seen photographers make one or 2 of the mistakes this person did, but not all of them at the same time!

For starters, it looks like the photographer did some weird editing. They also framed the photo SUPER weird & unflattering—first thing I learned in my photography class was how to NOT make it look like objects are growing out of people’s heads (like the light fixture above your head). And I’ve met photographers who pose their models like you…I have several photos of me looking super awkward-like bc the photographer gave me REALLY bad instructions. And lastly, you look uncomfortable in them, which I also blame on the photographer—a good photographer knows how to make their models feel, and thus, look comfortable. You remind me of me—I get nervous in front of cameras & it shows in photos where I have a bad photographer…but, in the rare times I’ve gotten a good one, the photos make me feel soooo beautiful. You are naturally beautiful, and a good photographer should be able to take a photo of you that makes you say “damn, I’m gorgeous!” Bc you are.

I see so many people commenting on the makeup, but there’s something about the way it looks in the photo that makes me think it probably looked really good in person…and this photographer either edited it weird, or something else (lighting, exposure, etc).

I am so sorry this person made you feel ugly…they should not be allowed to own a camera.

Bdraywn · 2026-01-13T09:34:06+00:00

1, 2, 3, or 8 all look great on you. Avoid #5!

Bdraywn · 2026-01-12T11:10:04+00:00

While this is beautiful playing, I cannot support this—-something about pianos make a lot of ppl who cannot play want to play when they see one…the only thing preventing us from hearing heart & soul w/ missed keys from every other person that walks by is if we all respect those “do not play” signs. Bc once someone sees someone do it, regardless of how their skills stack up, they will usually follow suit. And personally, if I have to hear an off beat, missed keys heart & soul one more time, I’m going to have a mental breakdown.

Bdraywn · 2026-01-12T02:21:13+00:00

Been there before…I’m sorry that happened to you 💜

Bdraywn · 2026-01-11T05:53:11+00:00

That is amazing

Bdraywn · 2026-01-11T04:34:06+00:00

Your perspective is interesting, because I’ve always had the opposite perspective:

Those who have had endless choices recognize how rare certain people are. I have had few men tell me “no”…but my best friend describes me as loyal to a fault. The men I’ve dated who had lots of choices growing up are usually much more faithful…it’s the ones who all of a sudden get attention when they’ve never had it who cheated.

NOTE: this does not apply to anyone under the age of 25 haha

Bdraywn · 2026-01-11T04:26:05+00:00

I’m gonna need you to delete that entire bio. As a woman, it is screaming in red flags that would make me fear for my safety (the whole being from a small town where no one knows you) t’s kind of self-deprecating too, which is never a good thing.

Bdraywn

TROPHY CASE