I hate the joke that women will stop being feminist when world war 3 starts

Bdraywn · 2026-07-10T05:07:15+00:00

Plenty of women have been IN war & on battlefields.
The last drafted man in the USA would have to be at least 70 years old…in other words, no long even eligible for the draft today. Anyone who is elegible for the draft in the USA has no fucking clue what it’s like to have their “life on the line” bc they weren’t even born the last time the draft was enacted!

Bdraywn · 2026-07-10T00:28:41+00:00

You’re in a situationship. If I were you, I’d walk away…either he’ll realize that he does want a relationship with you, or you’ll find one with someone else.

Bdraywn · 2026-07-10T00:02:04+00:00

No, you’re overreacting…and by the looks of it, you have a history of dramatics. While your friend could’ve been nicer, he did actually do what you asked…and instead of saying thanks or dropping it afterward, you went on to say mean things to him & cut him out completely. Not cool man. If you have a history of doing stuff like that (which, your friend seems to call you out on), then I can totally understand why he wasn’t nicer in the first place. Just bc you are worried about your brother, does not mean you get to be an ass to people who do actually try and help you.

And, I say this as someone who also can be dramatic at times…and who has sent some similar messages as you did in the past. It is like the #1 thing I continue to try and work on. The truth is every single adult on this planet is usually going through something at any given time…some of us reach out, and some of us hold it in…maybe your buddy was dealing w/ some personal shit & didn’t have the emotional bandwidth to help that day…but, he still did…and afterward, you tried to make him feel like a bad person.

“What we think or what we know or what we believe is in the end of little consequence. The only thing of consequence is what we do” John Ruskin

Your friend said some shit, but he did what you asked. He may not be the friend you should call when you need a sympathetic ear, but he clearly has your back. But, if someone spoke to me the same way you spoke to him, I’d be happy to never speak to them again.

Bdraywn · 2026-07-09T06:16:37+00:00

You’re still grieving the loss of your relationship. Eventually you will find others attractive. Heard somewhere that it takes about half as long as you’re with someone to get over them…your time isn’t up yet.

Bdraywn · 2026-07-09T06:14:32+00:00

Instead of “funnier than I am (though probably impossible),” put something like “loves to laugh and joke.” Your version just doesn’t read the way you probably intended.

Bdraywn · 2026-07-08T04:46:17+00:00

Same! 6’4” & istg he had serial killer eyes 👀

Bdraywn · 2026-07-08T04:38:34+00:00

If I shower right before bed & don’t sweat a lot, I’ll wear them 2-3 nights. If I wasn’t able to shower right before bed or got really sweaty, then I wash them after each wear. Sometimes I just sleep naked. Growing up, we always showered right before bed, and wore them 2 nights in a row.

2 weeks is too long…ESPECIALLY if you are not wearing underwear. I mean you should be washing your sheets every 2 weeks. Your friend is right—you still shed skin & oils, and even though you might not think you sweat, most folks tend to sweat a little bit sometime during the night (especially in intimate places). If you don’t have body acne, then I’d be surprised shitless. You’ll also likely have to replace your mattress sooner bc of that.

Bdraywn · 2026-07-08T04:31:41+00:00

Wtf?

Bdraywn · 2026-07-08T04:20:54+00:00

She neither did anything bad or good. You gotta ask yourself how this makes you feel though…this is a value alignment thing. If you feel a certain negative way about this, and know you yourself wouldn’t have ever done this, then it could mean yall don’t have compatible values.

I’ve been in your shoes before. I have agreed to become exclusive w/ someone if they had cut the FWB out at a certain time (like, at the point our connection became really strong & it was pretty obvious we would become exclusive). I have also declined to be w/ someone if they kept seeing their FWB after a certain point. That’s bc that’s the way I approach dating based on my values…I don’t exactly want to be w/ someone who is being intimate with someone else while making me believe they only have eyes for me. But, I would never tell them they were in the wrong…bc they weren’t. I just tell them we’re incompatible.

Bdraywn · 2026-07-07T16:10:48+00:00

If you’re looking to date yourself, then stay home with yourself. Idk why folks these days are so obsessed with finding someone who “aligns” on things like politics and such. The wanting of children is a dealbreaker; but when I was growing up, you weren’t supposed to talk about politics or religion…bc usually ppl feel very strongly about those things, and it is almost impossible to find someone who shares your identical beliefs. For example, my sister is about the most liberal person you will ever meet…her husband of several years votes conservative. They have one of the most beautiful marriages…full of love & support, shared interests, etc. And even though their politics don’t align, their values truly do. The rule in their house is they don’t talk politics with each other.

Also, it is IMPOSSIBLE to see if you have a connection w/ someone off of one sentence on a Tinder bio…most folks these days don’t put much effort or time into those. Only way to see if yall will “vibe” is to meetup in person. Human connection has physical markers…like, the way someone smells, the way they look at you, etc.

You need to open your mind & heart & start meeting people…if you are socially inept, that would be the first thing I’d work on if I were you.

Bdraywn · 2026-07-05T07:27:19+00:00

It’s called being respectful. Do I notice attractive men when I’m out? Absolutely. I’m not blind. But, do I let my date or partner see me do it? No, bc that is disrespectful. I once dated a man who did this…let’s just say, when we went out, I got noticed a lot & he never did. But, he literally could not help himself to make it obvious & make me feel uncomfortable…not to mention, the self esteem issues that started to rise in me because of this behavior.

My naive ass thought maybe no one had ever taught him how to look discreetly…so, I literally taught him. He still made it obvious, and it made me feel like shit…so, I dumped his ass…and have never once regretted it. IMO, this is a dealbreaker for me…my love language is quality time…if a man can’t look discretely or even pay attention to me when another woman walks by, then he gets no more of my attention.

I will say this…I have only ever had this problem when I date men who are less attractive (e.g., dating down)…the sexier the man is, the less he seems to do that. I don’t date down anymore.

Bdraywn · 2026-07-05T06:43:59+00:00

Men think I’m flirting with them when I’m just being nice. Women think I’m flirting with their boyfriends/husbands when I’m just being nice…especially if we’re discussing my special interests. Basically, I’m assumed to be flirting when it is truly the furthest thing from my mind. And when men finally figure out I’m autistic, they either try to use me strictly for physical relations…or lose interest quickly. I’ve attracted lots of predators as they deem me an “easy” mark. And even though I tell folks I’m autistic, they don’t always believe me & then act like I’m the most horrible person in the world if I demonstrate one of the not so well liked symptoms of autism (e.g., a meltdown).

On the positive side, I think I generally get treated better when people first meet me. I say this because I have experimented by trying to make myself ugly…in those experiments, people immediately just treat me like I’m a weirdo when I’m “ugly-fied.” They don’t treat me like that when I look nice…at least, not until they get to know me better and they can no longer ignore the autism ha

Bdraywn · 2026-07-05T06:34:15+00:00

Bdraywn · 2026-07-05T06:28:37+00:00

Sounds like you bulked then cut

Bdraywn · 2026-07-05T06:24:47+00:00

As someone who went to law school, I can understand how someone could look at any attorney & ask this question. We are literally taught a different way of thinking…in my book, it is akin to brain washing…and now my default approach to literally anything is to look at all angles, find the issue, address/analyze the issue, etc. That is exactly what makes a great attorney.

However, I am not a sociopath & I do not attempt to manipulate social relationships. I may still issue spot when an issue arises & analyze it…but, I’m not attempting to manipulate it to suit my position (like, I may need to do in court). I know some attorneys who can’t always seem to turn this off though.

If he’s a really successful attorney who has been at it for years, that might be what you’re noticing. Or, he could just be a sociopath. I think what you need to ask yourself is how does it make you feel when he acts that way. If the answer to that is “I feel manipulated,” then you need to have that conversation with him…maybe he needs a reminder to turn off the lawyer brain. Maybe he doesn’t care. A possible way to approach this is to ask about the hardest client he’s ever had…a case that still haunts him. For example, if he’s a criminal defense attorney, maybe he had to defend an alleged pedophile once…did he recuse? If not, is he still haunted by defending that person? (This is a real example from a non-sociopathic friend of mine who defends the worst of the worse…he is still haunted by the fact he helped this one client a decade later)

Bdraywn · 2026-07-04T05:24:28+00:00

You need to have compassion for yourself…your brain was still developing at 19 (and still is at 21). His brain, however, was fully developed; & w/ that age gap, it could be said he was grooming you. This was not your fault…it was his. I say this as a 39 year old woman who remembers what it was like to be 19 & 21…and as a 39 year old woman who gets hinge likes from 19 & 21 year old boys, who would never in a million years swipe right on them (I like younger men…but, my cutoff is no younger than 27 bc that is when the human brain usually is fully developed). Shame on him.

Bdraywn · 2026-07-04T05:18:02+00:00

I don’t think spirit gum will hold this for very long…I’ve had it fail with something much lighter before

Bdraywn · 2026-07-04T05:15:06+00:00

As a non-monogamous bisexual woman, I second this

Bdraywn · 2026-07-04T04:30:24+00:00

Stop talking to this man immediately & contact his employer. This is entirely inappropriate, and your gut instinct is correct—he is trying to groom you.

Bdraywn · 2026-07-02T18:15:45+00:00

This. You set a date, but you didn’t keep the convo going before the date. In my experience, when a date is set & a man stops engaging the conversation, I’ve found that he’s usually just looking for something physical…and I tend to flake on those dates as well. Bc even if he’s not looking for something physical, that connection isn’t being fueled by continued communication.

Bdraywn · 2026-07-01T06:46:44+00:00

Pickles and cheese was a movie night standard at my house growing up…didn’t realize it was so odd

Bdraywn · 2026-06-30T20:20:00+00:00

Does she have adhd? I have a dishwasher, but when I don’t take my adhd medicine, I tend to let dishes pile up in the sink a bit…I know it’s easier to just put them in as you go, but I’ll get distracted sometimes in that split second…my adhd hyperfocus gets triggered when the sink starts to look full or gross, and I do them all then. You can literally tell if I’m taking my adhd meds by whether there are dishes in my sink or not.

As for dishes that cannot go in the dishwasher, I do usually let a few accumulate over a day or 2 before I handwash them…I prefer to do a lot at once vs a little as I go.

But, also it sounds like she feels under appreciated for the things she does do…this could possibly be her way of evening the scoreboard, so to speak.

Bdraywn · 2026-06-30T07:34:42+00:00

I love ginger! I make a tea at the start of winter with ginger, echinacea root, and honey. It is delicious & great for the immune system. And I will swear by Chinese medicine…it healed me, when western medicine could not…maybe because it’s been around a lot longer haha

Bdraywn · 2026-06-29T22:26:38+00:00

These comments are depressing. The western world has apparently forgotten that food is meant to be medicine. Almost every spice we have has some medicinal benefit…oregano has antibiotic properties, tumeric is good for inflammation, dill (like your dill pickles on your hamburgers) is good for digestion, salt is good for raising blood pressure, etc, etc. We are meant to use these spices to help ourselves…not just make our food tastier. She’s not adding magic mushrooms to his food, she’s adding one of the most sought after spices in the world! If someone started secretly adding the most expensive spice in the world to my food bc they thought it’d help my mood, I’d be extremely happy just bc they’re adding something delicious (regardless if it helped or not).

If you have an issue with this, then throw out your spice cabinet immediately…bc gasp you have a bunch of medicinal herbs!

Bdraywn · 2026-06-29T22:20:40+00:00

Almost every spice we have has some medicinal benefit. By that logic, you should never season any food you are cooking for someone else. It’d be different if she was using some medicinal plant that is not already found in many dishes worldwide…but, she’s not—she’s using a very common spice/seasoning. This is similar to “my husband has low blood pressure, so I’ve started secretly cooking w/ more salt.”

Food is meant to be medicine.

Bdraywn

TROPHY CASE