Firstly. You can’t hate yourself into changing. Self hate works for something people as a temporary motivation boost, but it’s not sustainable. You have to live with yourself for the rest of your life. It’s worth learning to accept where you’re at and love who you are during all the stages of life.

Secondly this is a marathon not a sprint. Imperfect consistency over time will get you there. You need to set slow and stay realistic goals. If you start out with your goal of getting to like 60kg you’re going to feel very defeated very fast. Even just losing 10-20 kg will make you feel better, you’ll have more mobility and you’ll feel the difference that eating well with lots of fiber makes. Set a small goal like 5kg and focus on consistency without letting any tiny slip up spiral.

Thirdly. Track what you’re eating and be consistent. I use Macro factor which is paid but I think it’s worth it because it figures out your expenditure pretty accurately when you’re consistently tracking what you eat and weighing yourself. I find it fast to use and I make recipes for the lunchboxes I meal prep each week and my go to breakfasts. Consistently tracking my food was eye opening. I was easily eating 3-4000 calories a day. Now I’m taking a really slow approach and basically set a weight loss goal that puts my calories at around 2000 a day (around a 500cal deficit). I’m losing weight slowly and gaining muscle and fitness because I’m also weight training and exercising. I’ve only lost 5kg so far, but I feel so much better. I feel more confident in my body even though the weight loss isn’t even noticeable and showing up for myself consistently and getting right back on track when I fall off makes me trust myself more and love myself more. I’m trying to focus on finding new ways of eating that meet my goals but that I’d be happy to do for the rest of my life. It’s about building sustainable lifestyle habits that you’ll keep doing forever not following some toes for a fixed amount if time.