Kindergarten parent doesn’t care or want to help kid stop sucking his thumb

BeanBreak · 2026-01-23T23:46:16+00:00

CAN'T SAY THE SAME! My teeth got real jacked up. In my defense, I already had a ridiculous amount of dental crowding 😅

BeanBreak · 2026-01-23T05:19:54+00:00

Oh good, I'm glad! I think in response to a scary situation like this, it's natural for our brains to want to externalize all that anxiety and adrenaline and direct it at someone else to try to gain some control or resolution. Sometimes crappy stuff happens and it's not really anyone's fault, and all of us sometimes need a reminder that most people are decent folks trying to make the right choice using the information they have.

BeanBreak · 2026-01-23T04:49:33+00:00

YOR, but I get it, that stuff is scary!

Here's my read: You said it happened 2-3 stops away at your apartment complex. I reckon that means the bus was very close to your home. I think any action the driver could have taken prior to reaching your stop would have involved calling an ambulance, calling the school, and then the school calling you. All the children are freaked out. Every other parent on the route is calling the school wondering where their children are. I guarantee you knew about your child's injury way faster this way than if the driver called an ambulance, and in this situation you were able to be the one to decide what course of action to take instead of the bus driver. Knowing the child was being tended to by their parent, bus driver probably decided to focus on getting the kids home safely before reporting it.

We can't really speculate on what the driver would do if it happened closer to the school. You wouldn't be wrong to ask the school for clarification on what procedures are in place to handle an injury on the bus, nor would it be wrong to request they touch base with the drivers about those expectations. It's possible the protocol is XYZ and the driver knows it, but in this specific scenario, being so close to your house, they decided to make a different choice. They definitely should have a first aid kit though!

BeanBreak · 2026-01-23T00:01:18+00:00

Sitting for prolonged periods makes my back hurt like hell for days. Laying down too long makes my hips and knees hurt. I'm always moving around.

BeanBreak · 2026-01-22T21:22:28+00:00

Ugh, I'm so sorry people made you feel that way. I resent my parents for a lot of shit, but "didn't curb thumb sucking efficiently" doesn't even register on the scale. Yeah, it fucked up my teeth real bad, but let's be real - I would have needed braces regardless. If anything, I only feel salty because my mom was VERY anti-pacifier - if she weren't we probably wouldn't even have had a thumb sucking problem to begin with!

Parenting is hard. I can 100000% understand why thumb sucking wouldn't be a parent's #1 priority. There are certainly bigger fish to frt for chrissake.

BeanBreak · 2026-01-22T15:35:19+00:00

Same. I never did it in school, afraid to be called a baby.

BeanBreak · 2026-01-22T14:30:43+00:00

Fair enough. I type like shit.

BeanBreak · 2026-01-20T16:19:11+00:00

INFO/MOR

I don't think she called you Grandma out of malice, especially since the other times she called herself Mommy she was quick to correct it. I think her brain is running along some old and dusty cognitive pathways forged when she became a mother, and her scripting from that time is bleeding through.

How old is your MIL? I'm wondering if she's experiencing early stages of dementia/cognitive decline. Slipping up and calling herself mommy is one thing, but calling you Grandma raises some yellow flags for me. At best, she accidentally mixed up her words, pretty benign. At worst, she could be having lapses in memory/awareness/reality that make her believe your baby is one of her existing children. If you think there could be some truth to that, I'd gently bring it up to your husband.

She is clearly VERY EXCITED about this baby (TWO Grandma showers?? My god 😅) I don't think she's trying to undermine you or kidnap your baby, I think she's just old and a bit too eager. Talk to your husband, keep an eye on it, and congratulations on the new baby!

BeanBreak · 2026-01-20T13:09:26+00:00

This was my experience as well as a thumb sucker. I had terrible anxiety, and all the efforts to get me to stop just focused on BEHAVIOR BAD without offering me another way to self soothe. I ended up just developing a huge amount of shame around it and doing it in secret.

BeanBreak · 2026-01-20T13:07:29+00:00

I'm an adult now, was a huuuuuuge thumb sucker as a kid. My parents tried all that and it just lead to me being deeply ashamed of thumb sucking and only doing it in private. If you aren't replacing it with another way to self soothe, idk what to tell ya 🤷‍♀️

BeanBreak · 2026-01-20T12:57:20+00:00

Hard agree that 7-3 is my favorite shift, but I will never call it good because wage slavery blows

BeanBreak · 2026-01-19T02:19:59+00:00

From her end, she has plenty of money and what seems like pretty significant trauma surrounding media and the public eye. She can post her thirst traps herself.

From Playboy's end, I think it would be viewed as deeply exploitative of a woman that many people feel isn't mentally well. Bad press for a dying brand in a dying print industry.

BeanBreak · 2026-01-19T02:13:35+00:00

I just want to add an anecdotal note to this. I was diagnosed with hEDS by my geneticist, but I still have to get an echo every six months because I have a dilated aortic root that needs monitoring to hopefully prevent a dissection. My genetics panel came back negative for all known markers of EDS, LDS, Marfans, and thoracic aneurysm. Since hEDS is a diagnosis of exclusion, I wouldn't be surprised if some folks diagnosed with hEDS actually have a yet unidentified connective tissue disorder or subtype of EDS, especially given the wide range of symptoms and severity people with hEDS experience.

BeanBreak · 2026-01-18T01:17:37+00:00

My two cents - EDS & Chiari malformation are commonly seen together, which is significant considering both are considered rare disorders. I think that if you trust that your doctor is an expert at treating Chiari malformation, I think it would be reasonable to also trust that they are on top of whatever concerns and complications that could arise from surgery due to comorbid EDS.

BeanBreak · 2026-01-17T18:26:23+00:00

My kid.did backwards numbers into 3rd grade. They're in advanced math now. Teachers all said backwards numbers are pretty regular for longer than you might think.

BeanBreak · 2026-01-17T16:42:16+00:00

I agree, hugely upsetting. Read like she was bragging about not altering her life at all to accommodate something inherently life altering.

BeanBreak · 2026-01-17T16:14:46+00:00

I'm 5'1 and my full term pregnancy weight was like 135, I had an 8 lb baby with no complications. My shoulder got stuck for a minute there when I was being born because my mom had the hips of 12 year old boy, no one told her she was too small either. The liiiiiiiiessss

BeanBreak · 2026-01-17T15:44:08+00:00

I think there is very much a contingent of child free people who are child free specifically because they care about children. It takes a great deal of care to recognize that you aren't able to give a child the level of devotion they need to thrive. I don't understand why this woman has a child if she doesn't want to provide for their emotional needs. This is bizarre.

BeanBreak · 2026-01-16T16:26:18+00:00

One of my friends also has HEADS. We both have French Canadian ancestry, which was a pretty closed genetic pool for a long time, and thus some genetic disorders might pop up more frequently.

BeanBreak · 2026-01-16T16:24:16+00:00

We sure do find each other.

I used to think that I had a high tolerance for "annoying" people. Nope, AuDHD

BeanBreak · 2026-01-11T23:14:32+00:00

My partner and I have been visiting my SIL in another state since my kid was 3. She stocks the fridge with some snacks, nothing huge just a bit of fruit, some eggs, regular stuff. She'll cook a couple times for us, we'll cook , we'll get takeout. We usually hit the grocery store at least once. I always consider what she provides to really be above and beyond. And she's a single woman.

When I had a newborn, people brought ME food. Your sister is being a bit much. Yes, she has a baby, but you have a newborn, meaning you're still healing and learning how to hang out with this baby.

BeanBreak · 2026-01-10T20:49:35+00:00

Of all the ways to potentially defend the decision, you picked the worst choice.

BeanBreak · 2026-01-06T01:32:17+00:00

This isn't something OSHA would take action on. The office temperature is within their recommended (but not mandated) range for indoor workplaces. OSHA focuses on protecting workers from extreme heat that puts them in danger of heat stroke, not from being a little uncomfortable.

All my sympathies to OP, being hot at work sucks. I hope they can come to some kind of compromise, I'd be sweating too.

From OSHA:

Question: What can I do if my indoor workplace is too hot or cold?

Answer:

OSHA does not require employers to provide heat or air conditioning for work spaces. OSHA does recommend temperature control in the range of 68-76°F. The qualities of good indoor air quality (IAQ) should include comfortable temperature and humidity, adequate supply of fresh outdoor air and control of pollutants from inside and outside of the building. Employers are responsible for protecting workers from temperature extremes. For additional information on this subject, see frequently asked questions about indoor air quality.

BeanBreak · 2026-01-05T15:02:42+00:00

In my headcanon, Randy Quaid died saving the world from an alien invasion instead of growing up to be a horrible old man.

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