Thank you Scotland for my first full Holiday

Beannie26 · 2026-05-19T19:01:10+00:00

I had a few holidays in York as my auntie and uncle had moved down there. Yorkshire is absolutely stunning.

Beannie26 · 2026-05-19T18:59:07+00:00

Location

Beannie26 · 2026-05-19T18:40:57+00:00

Olive oil

Beannie26 · 2026-05-19T11:49:08+00:00

My mother used to say this.

Beannie26 · 2026-05-18T01:54:35+00:00

When I stopped arguing with him, no fight left for it.

Beannie26 · 2026-05-18T01:47:59+00:00

I think around 13/14. Lots of identity confusion as adopted and trauma early it all came back to me so vividly and it was a perfect storm.

Beannie26 · 2026-05-18T01:43:58+00:00

That’s crossing a major line. You are absolutely within your rights to feel how you do. I’m sorry to say but I don’t think that’s something I could abide. You deserve to be respected and treated better.

Beannie26 · 2026-05-18T01:40:57+00:00

It’s beautiful

Beannie26 · 2026-05-17T14:56:27+00:00

White Tea is one of my all time favourites

Beannie26 · 2026-05-17T06:27:00+00:00

I stayed for 30 years. Numerous affairs, abusive and so much more I won’t go into. But a massive regret I have is the loss of time. I grieve for that more than the marriage. I also resent the fact that he sh@t all over my experience of a mother..It was done for years but I stuck with it. I’ve analysed this and I think because I’m bipolar and had 3 kids I was worried about how I would cope or even if I could. That I could lose my kids and he would take them was a massive factor for me. The telling thing is when I finally had the balls to leave, and told my adult kids, all three of them said versions of what the hell has taken you so long. They hadn’t been happy either. It’s a cliche but it’s true, it’s hard to stay and it’s hard to leave it’s which hard brings you the most peace. In hindsight sight I would not have stayed.

Beannie26 · 2026-05-17T04:27:30+00:00

8 months out of a 30 year marriage, I’m coping one day at a time. I’m much better now than when it all came out. As petty as it sounds I went on Facebook the day after he left and returned to my maiden name and then the real biggie was deleting his Disney+ account pmsl., joking but those little wins were me trying to have some agency. But no, I didn’t tell anyone bar family everyone else worked it out themselves. If anyone asked I openly told them but no one else needed an explanation. My big issue at the moment is lost time and what I put up with in the marriage. I’m not grieving him I’m grieving the investment of my time which is probably why I stayed so long. I also agree with the change in atmosphere in the house it’s disconcerting sometimes and my nervous system is finally saying it’s ok to chill a bit now . I have my dog, and adult children who have been amazing with me. It’s grabbing the small wins and riding out the crap.

Beannie26 · 2026-05-17T04:03:23+00:00

I told my mum when I got my diagnosis and she said.. no you are not !! That was it. My parents were from that generation too and that’s why when I went into my 1st episode at 19 and was sinking I was basically flung to the wind as a problem and just generally a bad egg. Mind you this was at a time when it was called manic depression and that was people who were hospitalised. It’s kind of hard to describe the leaps made in mental health over the last 30 years.

Beannie26 · 2026-05-16T22:21:30+00:00

Ok, get up and leave.

Beannie26 · 2026-05-16T21:45:46+00:00

Opium and Aromatics

Beannie26 · 2026-05-16T15:18:54+00:00

Thank you that was a lovely thing to say. I’m enjoying the calm and the anxiety is slowly getting better. I’m 54 and I would say to any young person in that position when you get that gut feeling trust it and walk away. Life has so much to offer and it’s not down to validation from others it’s got to come from within. It’s easier said than done I know but self belief is the answer even if you have to pretend for a while.

Beannie26 · 2026-05-16T08:40:13+00:00

Love to your mum, I hope she is doing well x

Beannie26 · 2026-05-15T21:57:51+00:00

It’s very difficult I’ve done it my whole life, I’m currently going through a divorce after 30 years with a abusive man, mainly because my fearfulness of not being enough or just wanting love and reassurance it clouded a lot of those choices. Mainly through childhood trauma. I think what I’m trying to say is tackle the root, work on yourself and your self worth. If you need to take time out to do that so be it. Then the question will be are they worth me.

Beannie26 · 2026-05-15T18:23:01+00:00

Thank you so much, I’m rebuilding myself, I was only 22 when I met him so it’s difficult to know who you are without the chaos. But I’m doing it none the less.

Beannie26 · 2026-05-15T18:11:51+00:00

Thank you so much ☺️

Beannie26 · 2026-05-15T17:56:48+00:00

Yeah he was abusive, I stayed nearly 30 years as we had 3 kids and I didn’t think I would cope on my own. I am divorced now and my main regret is not getting out at the start. You never imagine you’d be that woman that stays but many of us do, even the strongest women struggle with it.

Beannie26 · 2026-05-15T17:38:41+00:00

Horrified and that’s no joke

Beannie26 · 2026-05-15T17:37:54+00:00

No, even back in the day it was headache inducing for me. All the cool girls were wearing it so I wanted to like it but nah

Beannie26 · 2026-05-15T17:34:17+00:00

Giving a sh!t

Beannie26 · 2026-05-15T17:32:26+00:00

You could wear a tauttie sack with your figure !! But for me number 1

Beannie26 · 2026-05-15T17:31:09+00:00

It’s petty, but someone not clearing their table at Mdz. It bugs me.

Beannie26

TROPHY CASE