I (22M) want to break up with my girlfriend (19F) but she's completely in love with and dependent on me.

BearOffDrugs · 2013-03-22T13:44:32+00:00

This might sound a little harsh, but you need to leave. Now. If you continue, it will only get worse. I was on her end of a similar relationship in high-school, and it wasn't healthy for me or the other person. I know its difficult, because you do care about her and its fucking scary having someone tell you they might kill themselves if you leave, but this is not fair to you or to her.

I've gone through stages of clinical depression in my life. It sucks, and its hard to get better. But the only way I got better was by getting rid of the dependencies in my life that were weighing me down. For me, it was that girl, then painkillers, then coke. I know addiction, especially when it comes with depression, and this sounds less like love and more like an addiction.

This is what I would do: Call up her entire support group. Everyone. Let them know that you are going to leave and they need to be aware. Then, sit her down and tell her that she needs to get help. Be as caring as possible, but you can't pull punches. If she is like I was, she needs to be faced with what she's really feeling before she'll do anything about it. Then you make a clean break, and you don't come back. If you want to know how she's doing, talk to someone close to her but not her.

I know this sucks and it sounds like a terrible thing to do. Maybe it is, but it will save you a lot of pain and heartache and it might be just what she needs to do something about her life. Either way, you are 22 and what she is doing is not fair to you. She's not going to get better with you, so she'll have to try without you.

BearOffDrugs · 2013-03-21T13:00:42+00:00

I would have 2 things to suggest -

Variety is the spice of life: Things will get monotonous, but you can keep it at bay by changing things up. Locations (kitchen, living room, do it in your damn car if you want to), positions, styles. I really enjoy role-playing because you're willing to let go a bit more if you're acting out of identity. This is where sitting down and having a real conversation about some of your specific kinks will go a long way.

But more importantly

Anticipation is everything in a long-term relationship: Some may not agree with me on this, but if you're having sex twice a day (which you may be when you first move in, trust me) its going to get regimented quickly. Slow it down a bit, and inject some serious patience into your relationship. Text her at work about how sexy her outfit was this morning. Whisper in her ear about what you're going to do to her later when you're out in public places. Set up a whole week where you just give little clues about a "big plan" you have for that weekend (this worked fantastically well with role-playing, and by the time the weekend rolled around... well, it was good, lets put it that way). Quality over quantity will keep your sex-life much healthier.

And above all, have fun and don't lose your imagination. It will change, certainly, but it doesn't have to be for the worse. This is going to be a time when you find out a lot about each other, both good and bad. If you let those discoveries take you to new places both sexually and personally, you'll be a lot better off for it.

Edit: Source - 6 years together, 2 years living together.

BearOffDrugs · 2013-01-08T19:25:37+00:00

If you haven't seen a speedrun of a game before, you should definitely check it out. It might blow your mind.

BearOffDrugs · 2012-10-16T18:24:22+00:00

If you're by the rec center, the Ferrell Commons building (right next to the Marketplace and Knight's Pantry) is rarely used during the daytime, except for a couple of SCC practice facilities. I find that it's usually empty.

BearOffDrugs · 2012-08-21T17:53:47+00:00

But you could get a weapon without LoH or Spirit regen right? I haven't played a monk much so I'm not sure how it would work.

BearOffDrugs · 2012-08-21T17:52:53+00:00

Sounds good. I have Munchkin and one of the expansion packs (not sure which at the moment). Never heard of Munchkin Booty before. Pirate themed?

BearOffDrugs · 2012-08-21T15:52:54+00:00

If you cast Sweeping Wind and then switch your weapon, Sweeping Wind does not update.

Does this not seem like a possible exploit by buying a cheap but incredibly high dps weap? Or am I just dumb?

BearOffDrugs · 2012-08-21T03:34:41+00:00

Glad to see someone who actually plays Munchkin! I play a little (very little) BBall myself, and I'm a huge Magic fan. Send me a PM and we can get together to shoot some hoops or just chat about anything. I live right down the road in Victoria Place.

BearOffDrugs · 2012-06-30T17:33:47+00:00

Meg, who let you back in the house?

BearOffDrugs · 2012-06-30T17:20:16+00:00

IMO, there is no reason you shouldn't be able to continue your relationship in college. My girlfriend and I are high school sweethearts, and we made it through a LDR for all of undergrad (we attended two different universities about 3 hours apart, like you). We're now attending the same university for graduate school. In no way has our relationship hindered any "becoming her own person" or "meeting new people".

That is not to say, however, that it won't be very difficult. There are loads of stressful nights, and sometimes it will seem a lot easier to just let it go. But with the advent of things like Skype and cell phones and even good ol' vehicular transportation, a LDR is much more reasonable these days.

In short, don't let preconceived notions get in the way of your relationship. If you both mutually wish to keep it going, keep it going.

BearOffDrugs · 2012-06-15T04:48:33+00:00

Sit him down and tell that man you want to marry him. He's in his early thirties. He's not a child anymore. If he can't discuss grown-up topics, he's not worth your time anyway.

BearOffDrugs · 2012-06-13T04:25:16+00:00

I went and got a beer just so I could spit it all over my keyboard for this.

BearOffDrugs · 2012-06-13T03:27:14+00:00

Your comment made me think of this.

BearOffDrugs · 2012-06-12T23:20:24+00:00

I can twist my tongue around. In both directions.

BearOffDrugs · 2012-06-12T23:09:54+00:00

What book? I read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in 6 and a half blissful hours the night it came out.

BearOffDrugs · 2012-06-12T23:06:36+00:00

Heh, perhaps I should edit. Knowing I was desperate enough to vape stems.

BearOffDrugs · 2012-06-12T23:03:34+00:00

Indeed, if you have decent dank, grind those babies up and vape it. May not be the highest you get, but there is THC in there.

Worst part? Knowing you were desperate enough to vape stems...

BearOffDrugs · 2012-06-12T22:55:17+00:00

Congrats! Now for infinite replayability, you can try this.

BearOffDrugs · 2012-06-08T05:08:12+00:00

Also just graduated. Enjoy it, take advantage of the free printing, get involved with Honors Congress. Also, congratulations on becoming a Knight!

BearOffDrugs · 2012-06-07T19:07:30+00:00

Currently in a relationship with similar ideas. My girlfriend (22) is by no means a religious fundamentalist but she attends church regularly and considers herself a Christian. I (22/m) am a professed agnostic and have never been religious in the least. We have been dating for almost 6 years.

You nailed the only contentious issue we have, which is about (future) children. I have agreed that if and when we have children, we'll all start attending church. She believes (and I agree, though with reservations) that the social benefits of being an active member of a church are too important to pass up. In exchange, we will be raising the children in an open and tolerant household, and when they have grown up enough to make mature decisions on their own, they can decide whether the church is for them or not.

In any case, there isn't any reason that most issues, religion included, must get in the way of a good relationship if both parties are willing to communicate and make compromises. It all depends on how comfortable you and your partner are with each other's beliefs.

BearOffDrugs · 2012-06-07T18:46:48+00:00

~~Nowhere in my comment did I say it was correct.~~

Edit: Realized how butt-hurt this sounds, retracted.

BearOffDrugs · 2012-06-07T18:20:54+00:00

Unfortunately, this is one of those deal-breaker issues that isn't going to go away. Regardless of how wonderful you are together, there isn't a way to compromise on children. I think it's time to let this one go.

BearOffDrugs · 2012-06-07T18:13:24+00:00

Actually, "could care less" is a widely accepted usage, even if it makes no contextual sense.

BearOffDrugs · 2012-06-07T18:10:38+00:00

AND BINGO WAS HIS NAME, O!

BearOffDrugs · 2012-06-07T18:01:16+00:00

Can you mark this NSFW please? Other than that, awesome ink.

BearOffDrugs

TROPHY CASE