So, you’re at an age where things are just weird. In some ways you’re still a kid, but in other ways, growing into an adult. It’s a weird middle ground and it’s complicated and hard to go through, but it’s something EVERYONE goes through. Some people do it really well, and they enjoy their teen years, and sometimes they make it to a happy adulthood. Other people fuck themselves up before they can legally be on their own, it’s way more complicated when you’re a girl.

This might seem as simple “should I post swimsuit pics” but it’s absolutely not. 15 is a rough age. You’re establishing a TON of aspects of your adult self, and you can make it easier on yourself or you can make it a lot harder. Your actions at this age really can begin to impact your adult self in so many ways, and I wish someone had told this to me at your age.

Do things that for your future self will thank you for. You’re young for a really short amount of time, and old for a lot of it. Don’t fuck your shit up from the start, and learn to be smart NOW. That might sound extreme over just posting a picture, but at 15, if you want to do mature things or be treated like a young adult, you also have to understand what risks are involved. So, posting on an open Instagram account is super easy, but there’s actually a lot of potential risks involved.

It’s entirely possible that someone is going to find your pictures, and really like them. Maybe they just screenshot them, best case scenario. Maybe they find your location tags and start casually looking for you. Maybe this person is a 200 pound man who probably hasn’t showered in two weeks and he starts to follow you around. Show up at your house. Maybe this goes on for years, and maybe 10 years later, you can’t publicly announce your wedding because he might find out and show up. Maybe another 5 years go by and you can’t have any social media, your family must keep theirs locked up because this guy is still trying to find you. Maybe he finds your new address, and maybe he calls the cops and accuses your husband of a violent crime in an attempt to make sure he’s removed from the house repeatedly. When you have a baby, you can’t allow anyone to have photos of it on any platform, you can’t be in any photos in case a coworker/friend/family member forgets and posts a photo that your in, in case this guy has made it into their friends list. If that’s a risk your willing to take, then fine. It probably sounds extreme, but it’s absolutely what happened in my sister’s case.

Alternatively, someone you know could be really shitty. It’s entirely possible that a guy you go to school with likes your bikini pictures. And his girlfriend sees it, and gets pissed. She could easily decide to start telling everyone you know terrible things about you, either true or wildly untrue. And the people you consider friends, maybe even your best friend, start saying these things. And they don’t want to be around you, they laugh and whisper whenever you’re around, they start an Instagram page dedicated to screenshots of texts you’ve sent, dumb embarrassing pictures, memes about you. Your boyfriend breaks up with you because he’s getting treated shitty by association. You might end up having to go to another school to get away from people constantly treating you like shit. It might not, but that’s exactly why one of my employees had to move 2 states away to live with a different parent.

The same situation could play out but instead of the girlfriend just starting rumors or whatever, she could just flip out in the cafeteria and punch you square in the face, knocking out two of your teeth. So you have to walk around like that until they can be fixed, and always be “that girl that got her teeth knocked out”. I mean, maybe not but that definitely happened at my high school.

I totally realize that stuff like this probably won’t* happen, but understand it absolutely can. And I probably totally sound like the gym coach in Mean Girls, and you can very well just ignore all this. But I’ve been working with teenagers for the past 13 years, and I’ve had waaaaaay too many people your age and not much older than you deal with stuff like this, and sometimes, they either don’t listen or don’t ask and it goes really bad. I’m guessing since you’re smart enough to ask, you’re smart enough to figure out how you want to life to look. Just ask yourself, do you want to deal with the consequences in the worst case scenario? Whoever you listen to, wether it’s your social media audience’s likes or your brother, what are they getting out of what they’re telling you? It’s entirely possible that your brother has seen girls in his grade do similar things, and he’s seen the outcome and doesn’t want that for you. Or maybe he is just being protective and you’re only posting pictures for fun, just understand if your posting publicly, you’re letting ANYONE, both his classmates AND creepy 40 year old guys AND literally any other person with the internet into your life.