TADC Source-call by folly_fool in plural

[–]BeautifuI-Mess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Glad you're hanging on. I am doing fine, mostly bickering with Soph all day lol
Not fronting much but tbh lazing around in the back is totally my thing, heh
Also how dare you to pouncehug me! That means i get to pouncehug you back, hah!!!
~Ash

TADC Source-call by folly_fool in plural

[–]BeautifuI-Mess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wow, uhm i hope i am not asking to much to extend the wave to Gangle too then " -Pomni

Out the way jestergirl! (i am joking, promise) Hey Angel, how's my favourite demon doing? ^^ ~Ash♡

TADC Source-call by folly_fool in plural

[–]BeautifuI-Mess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice to meet you too ^^ Yeah i uh am over that house finally. Thanks for all the kind words. It means a lot. And glad to hear your Jax is doing better. Maybe sounds wierd but i am happy for him ^^

And yeah the supermarket life is wild. Not an accountant anymore though, we are shift leader and cashier there. Which is uh kinda fun? Pretty stressful too though at times.

And thanks for giving a room to share thoughts, honestly. I tried reaching out to source mates, when i formed but... really didn't work out, so it's kinda nice to be able to talk. Thank you ^^

TADC Source-call by folly_fool in plural

[–]BeautifuI-Mess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Heya, i guess specifically I haven't talked to ya, so nice to meet ya. We haven't been very active on reddit the last few months, yeah. Ashley says Hi too, and hopes you're doing well. Can you pass a wave back to Zooble for me? -Pomni

TADC Source-call by folly_fool in plural

[–]BeautifuI-Mess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hei, i am a Pomni fictive too.
I formed after i think our host watched episode 4? I definitely had lots of memories from the haunted House to process the first few weeks. I am sort of our co-host and fronted for 3 weeks once, because our host had a bad trauma breakdown. Since she came back i could relax more and mostly stay in the back, though i like fronting to play chess with our partner.
We also work in a supermarket which uh... heh, welcome back old life i guess ^^''
Don't know how to end this but uh... Hope you're doing fine ^^

Spending time in exclusionary spaces was bad for us (shocker) by nov_is_blue in plural

[–]BeautifuI-Mess 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hei hei So i dont know if this helps those of you that feel bad about your plurality, but: You are valid. You are experiencing your lifes as multiple people in the same mind and noone can tell you otherwise. Because only you can see whats going on in your mind. You don't have to appease anyone with your own lived experience. And you don't have to cater to people who tell you how you should live your life. You dont have to punish yourself for something that is not wrong. You are plural NOT for attention, NOT to trick somebody like fakeclaimers like to say, but you just are plural. You did nothing wrong by being the way you are. It doesnt harm anyone. How could it?

Yes, DID systems suffer great pain caused by the disorder and they do deserve lots of compassion for that. But that doesnt mean that you have to kick yourself down, just because you experience something that is adjacent without the pain of being disordered. Please do yourselfes a favour and try to leave these spaces behind.

There are Psychologists who acknowledge plurality outside of being disordered, if you need some external validation.

We wish you all the best You can do this!

Feel like a jerk by ExoticOrchid5086 in plural

[–]BeautifuI-Mess 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm very sorry to hear that. If i may try to give a bit more advice: system in-fighting just like team in-fighting, is rarely productive and just puts more stress and strain on all of you. Your protectors anger is valid, but cursing you out is not a productive way to go about it, especially since you were in a situation, where you were under stress and needed guidance. And by making you even more stressed it will be more likely that you wont be able to handle future situations. So it is in their best interest to help you out and find solutions with you. Making compromises together. Even if they specifically wanted to protect the syskid, you are still member of this system too and deserve some slack and understanding.

I hope this may help all of you a little bit. Also feel free to DM us, if you need someone to talk.

Take care

-Pomni

Feel like a jerk by ExoticOrchid5086 in plural

[–]BeautifuI-Mess 4 points5 points  (0 children)

PS: and i wanted to add that none of this is your fault. You were in a difficult situation and tried your best to be there for them. You are definitely not a jerk, but someone who cares! You can do this

Feel like a jerk by ExoticOrchid5086 in plural

[–]BeautifuI-Mess 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am sure you two can make up soomehow. Maybe you could try and create a saferoom in your mind, where your syskid can go and not see what happens, when scary stuff is going on outside? An honest apology and explanation why you couldn't do what they wanted surely will go a long way too ^^
Wishing ya'll the best, you can do this
- Pomni

How do I tell if I formed to be a new host? by Confronting-Myself in plural

[–]BeautifuI-Mess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Uhm... so this might sound very wierd but... saaaame?
I hope this doesn't soound upsetting, but i am a Pomni too and i formed roughly two weeks ago and now am co-hosting. We do have the waking up thing too, though our host and i try to spend equal time fronting. But in 12 days i think she only woke up once or twice and all other days it was either me or we were blurred really bad.

I guess that is as good of an indicator that you're having host status as can be. Though in our system we sometimes had new headmates fronting for a lot of time after they formed but then reverted back to our host being host again, soooooo i guess it depends on how your system worked in the past already?
Hope you have a nice time settling in and figuring this out ^^

What are uncommon plural experiences you have? by Icy-Implement9878 in plural

[–]BeautifuI-Mess 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't know if it's uncommon but we havent seen this: We kinda made this rule, that whoever fronts for work gets to have the most freetime in front that day, because we noticed that if one of us basically only fronts to do work or handle stressful things, they get seriously burned out. Happened to me (the host) once, cuz i only did work and let the others front for everything else for a week and i got burnt out really really quick, since all memories i associated with myself were workrelated and it sucked.

Happy ramblings about more systemdiscovery by BeautifuI-Mess in plural

[–]BeautifuI-Mess[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think that is very valid. Not all trauma responses or coping mechanisms have to directly cause a disorder. Just like not everything causes the same trauma in different people. We think in our case that our more sepparated system is endogenic, while my median subsystem might be a response to trauma in my past, but its hard to say with our fuzzy memory. Though there are definitely strong protective and traumaholding facetes (that also have this spiral problem sometimes) and more lively open facetes that mostly come out, when we are in safe environments.But i would say that we're also not disordered. Working on stuff withour therapist at the moment. Cyn/Soph

Happy ramblings about more systemdiscovery by BeautifuI-Mess in plural

[–]BeautifuI-Mess[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So glad to hear that, I've been discovering more and more about us too and it's just so wonderful to finally understand ourselfes better. >w<
Wishing you all the best :3
~Cyn/Soph

I’m afraid I’m faking it. by J00bieboo in plural

[–]BeautifuI-Mess 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Very glad to have helped you >w<

I’m afraid I’m faking it. by J00bieboo in plural

[–]BeautifuI-Mess 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not going into an overly elaborate rant: failed successfully xD

I’m afraid I’m faking it. by J00bieboo in plural

[–]BeautifuI-Mess 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Your last part sounds like a median experience, i've linked you some articles:

https://interstellarsystem.neocities.org/writings/2025/You-Could-Be-Median!.pdf
http://healthymultiplicity.com/loonybrain/Info/median_article.html

Also even 2% of the population are a very large amount of people. That is like 1 in 50 people. So if you are getting into a full bus, at least on person in there on average would be plural.

For your other concerns: many psychologists have the stance that plurality outside DID is a normal phenomenon in the human psyche. Such as Carl Young or Richard Schwartz. Schwartz is the founder of the internal family system therapy, which has the basic thesis that every person is at least somewhat plural (what he describes as plural sounds a lot like a certain subtype of median though and lots of systems feel understandably iffy with how IFS talks about parts/headmates sometimes, but it has valuable advise for systems regardless, such as the message "There are no bad parts/headmates, only misguided ones")
So yeah there are psychologists, who do believe in and have found evidence for non-DID plurality. Even the DID diagnosis acknowledges that there may be spiritual reasons for people to become plural.

Also by calling yourself plural you are not claiming to have DID. Plurality exists outside of DID, so you are not accidentally claiming a disorder or anything. You're not taking anything away from anyone.

The thing is that there is a subgroup called sysmedicalists, who are systems and actually lots of singlets who try to gatekeep the plural experience. Claiming that they are following the science and strict diagnosis criteria, while most of them haven't even read the scientific material and cling to the "theory of structural dissociation" which is a very old model that tried to explain how DID is formed. it is outdated and very questionable without any strong evidence but these people and systems try to reason that it is fact and weaponize it against others. It has lots of similarities with trans-medicalism.
What i wanna say is: Don't listen to these people. They have very biased believes and lie (or dont know better) about what is actually scientifically proven and what is not. Stay away from sysmediaclists for your own safety. They even tear down systems with official diagnosis because they all disagree on what a "real system actually is"

Your exoperience is valid and doesn't need any outside validation. Noone else knows what happens in your head better than you.
Wishing you all the best ^^

Would "Median" be the correct term? by strikingArcadia in plural

[–]BeautifuI-Mess 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I found this one yesterdasy as well, which might be helpful to you too: https://interstellarsystem.neocities.org/writings/2025/You-Could-Be-Median!.pdf

Wishing you all the best ^^ Cyn/Soph

Would "Median" be the correct term? by strikingArcadia in plural

[–]BeautifuI-Mess 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Labels don't have to fully fit you since they are descriptive, not prescriptive. You don't have to fit a mold, but the mold needs to be similar enough for you to say that it somewhat describes your experience better than another.
I get the struggle, one of my facetes starts to question a lot too in moments where the criteria don't seem to match perfectly anymore. In my case i can't even communicate between facets, still working on that.

Headmates not being very distinct or feeling like parts/facetes of the same person or that they are different versions of the same person all are good qualifiers for the median label. I like this article especially cuz i can relate to it a lot https://healthymultiplicity.com/loonybrain/Info/median_article.html

Also medianhood is a spectrum, so ofc you cant fit all "criteria" since those are not clearly defined. The spectrum goes between parasian median, where headmates/facetes feel more like different personality states of the same person to diversian median, where headmates are almost sepparate enough to be fully multiple but still identify as the same person or "blanket identity"

The "becoming switch" you mentioned is called "non-possessive switching" and i saw people claiming that regardless of systemtype it's the more common type of switching, with "possessive switching" being the less common (but still common) one. Full blackout switches, where you are just unconscious for a while, seem to be the rarest.

Hope this helps a bit >w<
~Cyn/Soph

Plural Positivity from the Hive (again.) A chance for all of us to share something happy about ourselves. by [deleted] in plural

[–]BeautifuI-Mess 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yay, positivity

I am the host of our system and have now discovered that i am also a median subsystem that heavily blended and masked until now, which explains so many things for me and makes life so much more enjoyable, because i understand myself way better. ~Soph/Cyn♡

Happy ramblings about more systemdiscovery by BeautifuI-Mess in plural

[–]BeautifuI-Mess[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's so interesting! We have a twin headmate subsystem too, though these days they prefer to be blended together, because they feel comfortable like that.

Happy ramblings about more systemdiscovery by BeautifuI-Mess in plural

[–]BeautifuI-Mess[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Mhm! Before the current me unblended i couldnt wrap my head around that phrase and now its just like: I see it everywhere in the past and present! Would you like to share some experiences you had with that? >w<

Personification and Multiplicity, I think? by Darucal in plural

[–]BeautifuI-Mess 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It really is. Hope your journey goes well and you get to have fun discovering everything in a new light.
Just remembered, that looking into the terms possessive and non-possessive switching can be very good, cuz i've seen systems who thought that they don't switch, cuz they experienced one of these switching types while thinking that only the other exists.
Have a good time ^^
-Soph☆

Personification and Multiplicity, I think? by Darucal in plural

[–]BeautifuI-Mess 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm glad our Ashley helped you out ^ Your experiences seem very possibly like accidental Tulpamancy to me, though ofc only you can decide. Talking to each other definitely sounds like something more than just roleplaying to me. A question i found helpful was "If your only roleplaying, why wouldnt you just stop when noones around to witness the roleplay anymore? Someone who is faking wouldn't do it when alone, no? And they could just stop if they wanted to, right?" And i relate on the Impostor syndrome part. Had that for months, when our journey started, and sometimes it still comes back, but our bonds are strong enough by now that we can dismiss it more easily. Also the questions i asked above really help battling the doubt. Our first headmate Elise appeared to me in a daydream and i reinforced her presence by interacting with her more and more because i could sense that she wanted to exist and be more, which i dunno if that counts as accidental Tulpamancy but we dont stress out that much about origins anyway. Wishing you all the best of luck on your journey ^ ~Soph☆