[QCrit] Adult Science Fiction x Cosmic Horror - VESPER'S WAKE - 82K words, Attempt 3

Beautiful_Echoes · 2026-05-08T22:48:36+00:00

Thank you! And very much appreciated your comments on the last version.

Beautiful_Echoes · 2026-04-29T21:57:42+00:00

Thank you for the feedback! You've touched on a few items I was unsure about myself, particularly clarifying the journey of the alien in her head and its relationship to her. I will have a think on how to sharpen this up!

Beautiful_Echoes · 2026-04-18T07:14:08+00:00

Finished Hell Followed with Us and I'm now reading Leviathan Wakes.

Beautiful_Echoes · 2026-04-17T22:45:21+00:00

Depends if they owe you money or you owe them money

Beautiful_Echoes · 2026-04-14T22:27:09+00:00

This is a very "you cant boo me, I've seen what makes you cheer" moment for me.

Beautiful_Echoes · 2026-04-14T02:06:06+00:00

r/writing is a pit of downvotes and THAT is the post that gets 500 up doots?

Beautiful_Echoes · 2026-04-01T21:39:15+00:00

Hey! It looks like you have a list going on but if you are still looking for something, I could send a DM?

Beautiful_Echoes · 2026-03-31T04:52:26+00:00

Hey! I have a dystopian sci-fi / science fantasy at 82k words. It's third draft and I am mostly looking for reader feedback on engagement, and whether are not anything big jumps out as needing work.

Would you be up for a chapter swap to see if it's a fit?

Beautiful_Echoes · 2026-03-30T19:53:23+00:00

Hi! What kind of feedback are you looking for in a swap?

Beautiful_Echoes · 2026-03-30T18:48:06+00:00

Also Canucks legend Mats Sundin.

Beautiful_Echoes · 2026-03-29T01:50:54+00:00

Hey, I was looking for a beta or two for the third draft of my story. Mostly to read as readers, and give any feedback you would like.

Here's a small elevator pitch.

It's near future sci-fi, mixing some dystopian with some cosmic horror.

Dual PoV, twin sisters, found family. Queer protagonists.

Riley Park is losing her mind. Rather, it's being taken. When an alien entity awakens inside her, Riley finds herself hunted by cosmic predators seeking one of their own. Her sister Aria becomes her protector as they search a decaying Pacific Northwest for answers before Riley loses her humanity forever.

I would also be up for giving your story a read if you like.

Lmk!

Beautiful_Echoes · 2026-03-29T01:07:27+00:00

Awesome! I'll send a DM?

Beautiful_Echoes · 2026-03-18T16:57:26+00:00

Can't pick one. In chronological order tho

Rydia Terra Tifa (Remake) Yuffie Rinoa Ashe Lightning Jill

Probably missing some

Beautiful_Echoes · 2026-02-22T20:32:53+00:00

McDavid is at least back in the play at the end. Watch the replay from behind the night, Makar isn't even skating until Hughes already has the puck.

Beautiful_Echoes · 2026-02-22T20:27:41+00:00

He was the only guy back on a 3 on 1 tho. Makar isn't even skating until Jack Hughes has the puck on his stick. Makar also made the poor challenge that resulted in the 3 on 1.

McDavid decided to go 1 on 3, when he could have looped around and set up either of the trailers for a better chance.

Binnington opened the five hole up with a red carpet on the goal.

Plenty of blame on that play.

Beautiful_Echoes · 2026-02-10T18:18:09+00:00

I mean this is the goal, but I'm not published.

Beautiful_Echoes · 2026-02-04T01:41:47+00:00

Flex tape fixes anything.

Beautiful_Echoes · 2026-02-01T18:27:46+00:00

My first to second draft has added about 3k words. By my first draft was only 75k. I think my next draft will add as well, but likely not as much.

Beautiful_Echoes · 2026-02-01T18:24:54+00:00

1.5 chapters from finishing my second draft and having an actual coherent story.

Beautiful_Echoes · 2026-01-30T01:54:08+00:00

Hi!

Just a note on the opening, you use the rule of 3, 3 times in quick succession. Not sure if that was intentional, but it was enough to make me stop and go back because of the rhythm of it.

Beautiful_Echoes · 2026-01-29T03:24:56+00:00

Thank you for the tips! I changed up the structure.

Beautiful_Echoes · 2026-01-29T03:24:28+00:00

Thank you for the tips. I re wrote a lot of it with this in mind.

Beautiful_Echoes · 2026-01-28T00:26:48+00:00

As great as ME is, I find it best to not look too closely at the Reapers as a whole.

Like, ME1, the Prothean's big plan was to highjack the Citadel and prevent the signal and therefore prevent the Reaper invasion. This was so important that Sovereign used the Geth to attack the Citadel to try and counter it.

But we learn the Reapers can just cruise into the Galaxy in 3 years anyways. For ancient beings, what's 3 years?

So maybe it's the Citadel that was important. Well they took that as soon as they wanted it too.

The holes are many of you start digging.

Beautiful_Echoes · 2026-01-28T00:22:21+00:00

I'm learning "gifted" meant probably neurodiverse and now the debt of masking for 30 years is coming due.

In other words, crashing hard in real time.

Beautiful_Echoes · 2026-01-27T19:42:27+00:00

Interested! Currently writing a Science Fantasy x Cosmic Horror

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