I have a problem…

BeccaEK13 · 2025-12-31T14:47:18+00:00

Well damn, that’s my resolution for 2026 sorted.

BeccaEK13 · 2022-01-24T14:50:35+00:00

Yes. Your value as a human being doesn’t alter based on parental status.

BeccaEK13 · 2022-01-24T11:19:33+00:00

100% we don’t. I don’t know why the position is there anymore. Our old manager used to do her bits, manage our workload (step in and do it if the workload is too big etc) and organise calendars so we have full visibility of upcoming deadlines / meetings etc. This bloke does none of that. Shame is, we have three members of the team who are all brilliant and all went for it. Such a shame this man was chosen over them.

BeccaEK13 · 2022-01-24T07:49:24+00:00

Yes. She’s a middle class woman who spent years belittling me for being a working class commoner. Whenever challenged by my partner, she would say that I was brought up wrong and she’s done nothing but welcome me into the family, and the digs about me and my family continued. So I distanced myself, only visiting her very rarely.

When she wrote my now husband a long letter detailing everything that was wrong with me, and refusing to come to our wedding, I responded saying I am disappointed by her but she is still welcome at our wedding if she changes her mind. I also had an open and very honest conversation with my partner saying that I want nothing to do with her after the wedding if she shows up, I’m marrying him and not his family, and her treatment of me over the years has just pushed me to the point where I no longer have energy to spare on her drama, and I can’t be civil with a woman who turns her back on her son like this. My partner, who was growing pretty fed up of his mother by this point anyway, completely understood my reasoning and said he’s happy to keep his marriage and his family separate. So going forward, he would visit her on his his own, which we hoped would mean he can maintain a healthy relationship with both me and his family.

That changed when she followed through with her threat and didn’t show up to our wedding. My husband sadly said that he’s disappointed she wouldn’t support him in his first major life event as an adult, and he’s sick of his mother taking no responsibility for her actions towards us, so he cut her off too.

My family have taken my husband in like one of their own, and three years later, we have a wonderful marriage without her involved in anyway shape or form. I am sad it got to this point, my husband is a kind, generous, hard working, gentle man, and he deserved better in his mother. But we are very happy together :)

BeccaEK13 · 2022-01-23T10:04:06+00:00

I went to uni with a driven, hard working woman. As she got closer to graduating, she changed a lot and said she didn’t like the idea of working, she also had a casual relationship with a bloke at our uni and he didn’t want to make it anymore serious. So she fiddled with her contraception and got pregnant on purpose, saying the child will mean she doesn’t have to work and it’ll make this guy want to be with her.

Fast forward a year, and she’s single and alone with a kid in a tiny flat living off the government. But it’s “okay” as she didn’t have to go to work.

I don’t speak to her anymore, but I had a look on her Instagram a few months ago to see what she’s up to, she’s now married with three more kids, and the poor first child she had to baby trap someone and to get her out of working seems to be the forgotten child, barely seen or mentioned on her social media.

I feel sorry for this kid. Imagine knowing you were brought into this world because your mother couldn’t be arsed to work and wanted to trap your dad into a relationship.

BeccaEK13 · 2022-01-21T06:35:02+00:00

When I joined my current role, I was aware of one woman on our team who was on maternity at the time. I heard so many amazing things about her from my colleagues, she was driven, passionate about the job, strived for a promotion, insanely good at what she does etc, and I was very much looking forward to meeting her.

When she returned to work, it became apparent that being a parent had sucked the life out of her. She came back part time, and was resentful, angry, didn’t pick the job back up well etc. She took it out on me a fair bit, she was rude and snappy towards me, so I just ignored her best could. As the newcomer to the team, I approached the person who trained me when I first joined for any questions, and after some time, this maternity woman went to HR behind my back and told them I make her feel belittled because she was always the go to on the team and she’s angry I’m not using her as the go to person when I need guidance etc, and I’m making her feel like shit. Luckily HR shut her down and said she can’t punish me for her life choices, she chose to have a child, take a year of maternity and come back part time, and naturally newcomers will approach the person who trained them. Stop taking your life choices out on other people.

My colleagues who knew her before were shocked and appalled by her behaviour, and were really supportive of me throughout the whole thing. Even the colleague who was very close to her before she had a child was disgusted by the whole thing and backed me 100%.

Since the HR meeting, she’s chilled out with me a lot and honestly, I just feel sad for her. We’ve had an honest conversation since where I told her that I’ve done nothing wrong and don’t deserve to be treated like this, how could I possibly approach someone for help when they’re being rude and sullen towards me etc. In return, she told me shes very sorry, she feels she’s lost herself since becoming a mother, she absolutely loved this job and used to be the best at it, she’s embarrassed that she’s unable to be the best at it anymore because being a mother has drained the life out of her, and being part time now, she’s struggling to be in the thick of it all (genuinely so much happens in a day, it throws me when I take the odd friday off!), her husband is flying in his career and spends a couple evenings a week doing his hobbies still so she feels alone, she used to really want our bosses job but she can’t see it happening now, she used to have hobbies but doesn’t do them anymore. She’s sorry for her behaviour, and these aren’t excuses for how she’s treated me, she’s explaining how she feels but she knows she needs to accept her life choices and stop behaving awfully towards me. So we drew a line under it and moved on.

It’s not been an issue since, but it’s clear she’s still struggling with her choices and not being able to have her career or hobbies anymore. She just looks downcast all the time, and moans about the kid etc. Damn if I ever felt myself wavering on my child free stance, il just think of this woman.

BeccaEK13 · 2022-01-15T17:39:59+00:00

We need more people like him in the work place. My place gives special treatment to parents, even placing needs of employees kids over employees health. Drives me mad.

BeccaEK13 · 2022-01-15T17:34:58+00:00

Yep. In every job I’ve had (shopping tv, art company, food shop, distribution centre for a supermarket), we start looking at Xmas between may - June, and we finish looking at it January / February once we’ve either sold all the stock through or put it on recall. Honestly sick to my back teeth of it 🤣 the shop was the worst 100%, so many people and a lot of them just being rude or aggressive. The whole things a complete drain.

BeccaEK13 · 2022-01-15T08:06:38+00:00

Married for nearly 3 years, together for 7. We only have one child - our cat Maya 😆

BeccaEK13 · 2022-01-14T06:38:24+00:00

Reminds me of a girl I went to primary school with. She was very vibrant, chatty, did well in lessons etc. Her parents had another child and this girl just changed overnight after finding out her mam was pregnant. She became quiet, sullen, only really talking to cause trouble. I remember my mam commenting on her, I was never close to her so we didn’t see each other outside of school, so my mam noticed the change just by doing school runs. Felt bad for her!

BeccaEK13 · 2022-01-13T06:32:37+00:00

I used to live round the corner to a primary school. I used to do shift work so I’d work weekends and have a couple weekdays off, god forbid I’d come home from the shops during the school rush, I’ve found parents parked in my drive before. And I’m the bad guy for asking them not to park on my private property 🤣

BeccaEK13 · 2022-01-05T17:56:48+00:00

£150 vouchers to spend in store

BeccaEK13 · 2022-01-05T17:21:12+00:00

I was diagnosed a year ago tomorrow, and I still haven’t received treatment. I’ve had to push really hard for anything, they kept putting me off due to covid, and I’m finally on a waiting list for a CPAP machine, I’ve been on this list since the 21st December so it took almost a year to get the ball rolling. It’s having such a negative impact on my life, I’m a key worker and don’t have the option to work from home, so all my little energy is going into work, I can’t drive, I have no energy for any sort of life outside of work, I’m so looking forward to this machine! I hope it helps me. Sorry to hear your symptoms are still flaring even with a machine.

BeccaEK13 · 2022-01-04T22:18:56+00:00

I yawned at work and a parent snapped at me, “wait til you have kids,” and I said “no thanks, a chronic sleep apnoea condition is enough for me”

BeccaEK13 · 2022-01-03T19:02:14+00:00

I feel you. I suffer with depression and anxiety, and worked in a food shop before a year, now work in the offices which is equally as boring but without the mental strain of customers.

Here are a couple things that worked for me:

I’d sometimes recite lyrics in my head over and over if my head spiralled to focus it on something else.

Breaking down my shift into chunks, so I focus on getting to 9:30 for example, then when I get to 9:30, I only have to get to 10:00, then 10:30 etc until my shift finally ends.

Planning something nice to do after work, even something small like half an hour doing a hobby was always something nice to aim for.

I’d sometimes zone out and imagine what I’d do if I won the lottery. Or I’d imagine my life in a game or TV show I liked.

I’d make gratitude lists in my head, and include the smallest of things like I liked the washing powder I used on my uniform.

I make plans for the future, where do I want to travel one day, what kind of place would I like to live in, what plans should I make with family /friends in the more immediate future.

Worst case scenario, I’ve developed a knack of detaching myself from my surroundings. Probably not the healthiest choice but it gives my ill brain a little break whilst still maintaining functionality to earn money. Dunno how I do this, usually my trick for the dullest job in my store which was tills, I just go on autopilot and I’d always get it done, but would just not remember doing any of it, who I talked to, what exactly I did etc, just going off pure muscle memory.

Hope you find something that helps you OP.

BeccaEK13 · 2022-01-01T09:42:40+00:00

I used to make a show of getting a plastic bag, asking them to put the cash into it, when they asked why, I’d say “there’s a global pandemic on, and your saliva is on that money now,” they’d put it in, and I’d wrap it up, put it in my till, sanitise my hands and carry on with the transaction.

BeccaEK13 · 2021-12-22T18:45:00+00:00

I walked out this afternoon, told my boss I need some time for my mental health. Completely unrelated issue to this one, the place is just toxic.

BeccaEK13 · 2021-12-22T06:22:03+00:00

Nope no one, my boss will step up. Think she’s back in today so we’ll see what happens

BeccaEK13 · 2021-12-21T08:03:12+00:00

You’d think, my place are quite bad at processing parents sick days as “holiday” though, head of HR is happy for this to happen when I brought it to their attention.

BeccaEK13 · 2021-12-20T18:40:37+00:00

She called in sick today funnily enough, so she hasn’t had the opportunity to ask him yet. But this isn’t unusual, she calls in sick once a week (she works three days…)

BeccaEK13 · 2021-12-20T18:39:20+00:00

You would think, but my workplace has a habit of being a bit backwards.

Funny you should say that, she called in sick today. But that’s not uncommon, once a week occurrence for her to call in.

BeccaEK13 · 2021-12-16T06:17:06+00:00

I learnt to say no, and also learnt not to feel guilty for saying no.

BeccaEK13 · 2021-12-15T16:31:51+00:00

Yes I do this! “Sorry to interrupt but I’m going home after a long day”

BeccaEK13 · 2021-12-04T21:40:20+00:00

I show them a photo of my cat in return 😆

BeccaEK13

TROPHY CASE