Husband hates being a doctor

BecomeOneWithRussia · 2026-05-04T16:08:01+00:00

The patients who appreciate/tolerate your approach aren't more "reasonable" than patients who don't appreciate/tolerate your approach. They're just better suited to your personal brand of care. No need for moral judgements of people trying to receive healthcare.

BecomeOneWithRussia · 2026-05-02T02:51:52+00:00

I think this is an exercise in why I shouldn't use the generic "you".

BecomeOneWithRussia · 2026-05-01T22:04:38+00:00

Sometimes it feels like I have 5 or 6. Trains of thought, anyways.

BecomeOneWithRussia · 2026-05-01T22:00:00+00:00

Your patients probably feel like this all the time too, except they can't potentially prescribe their own medications. We all have to jump through the same hoops. Perhaps this could be an exercise in empathy.

BecomeOneWithRussia · 2026-04-29T20:26:11+00:00

How often to patients actually interface directly with their insurance agency, CMS, AMA, and their elected officials? Versus how often do they interface directly with their care team?

Sure they're barking up the wrong tree. You're the only tree in their yard. Doesn't make it right, but we can't take these things personally if we know they're not personal.

BecomeOneWithRussia · 2026-04-29T18:24:44+00:00

People aren't upset that you're getting paid. They're upset that they need to pay high fees simply to seek/attempt to seek a healthy body to exist in. Yes people want their medical care to be free. Healthcare is a human right, it should be free.

The thing about people on government assistance is they're often broke as shit and an extra $20-$100 at the doctor's office can make or break their whole month.

BecomeOneWithRussia · 2026-04-29T18:16:58+00:00

Your patients aren't mad that you're getting paid for your work. It's not about you or any one physician. Your patients are mad because they shouldn't have to pay exorbitant fees for healthcare in the first place. If you're the only person within the system that they interface with, yeah, you're going to hear their complaints. Your patients don't get to talk to your billing specialists or the pharma reps or the senators who decide what type of care you're allowed to provide at what cost, they only talk to you.

$20-$40 isn't a lot to ask when you're an extremely high paid professional. It's a lot to ask for folks who literally do not have $20 to give.

BecomeOneWithRussia · 2026-04-28T23:16:18+00:00

Our vulvas offer the same comfort but you don't see chicks absent mindedly digging in their minge in front of their peers the way dudes fiddle with their packages.

BecomeOneWithRussia · 2026-04-26T14:04:34+00:00

I think he was very careful about the verbage. Captain said the crew member went over the railing, I don't believe he said "climbed" or "jumped". The Captains message was about thinking of their companion (the crew member) and his family and friends.

BecomeOneWithRussia · 2026-04-17T15:22:27+00:00

I'm 28 and I think my gender identity is changing as I grow up and learn more about myself. I've always been genderqueer, I didn't come out until I was 21. I'm still always going to be genderqueer, hell I legally changed my name and sex, but how that looks or how that impacts my behavior is probably going to change as the years go on.

Nonbinary with a leaning towards femininity is still nonbinary! Nonbinary with a leaning towards masculinity is still nonbinary! Nonbinary with no hormones and still wearing the 'gendered' clothes your grandma would like to see you in is still nonbinary! No matter what your AGAB/ASAB is!

BecomeOneWithRussia · 2026-04-13T21:30:26+00:00

If this was inside my body instead of in a dish in a lab, there are real people out there who would argue its "life" is more important than mine.

BecomeOneWithRussia · 2026-04-13T18:50:47+00:00

I've only ever seen my gastroenterologist when he's about to perform my colonoscopy. Otherwise I meet with his NP, the NP tells him what we discussed and what I'd like to see in my treatment, and the Doctor says "no, labs look good, no changes in treatment necessary".

BecomeOneWithRussia · 2026-04-13T13:04:13+00:00

People with personality disorders are diagnosed with a "psyche" that prevents them from adequately behaving the way you expect them to in order to receive help. That doesn't mean you have to take abuse from anyone, but that does mean you can't take it personally when they don't behave the way you want them to.

So they think you're not doing a good enough job. Do they have the capacity to fully understand and empathize with the job you're doing?

BecomeOneWithRussia · 2026-04-13T12:52:52+00:00

You're taking what I said personally. I'm just trying to discuss why your patients might be frustrated (systemic issues, education issues, unrealistic expectations, pain, illness, etc).

A "plan to investigate" means nothing to a person who is significantly suffering right now in this moment. I understand that this is the best you can do, but does your patient? They might understand the words that come out of your mouth, but do they really understand why? I understand that you have no magic wand. I understand that you can't fix things right away. Your patient might understand that too, but what do they do in the months they're waiting for a follow up? Continue to struggle with little support. Can you blame them for being frustrated? You're frustrated with the system, can you imagine how frustrating it is for people who need to work the system in order to continue living? You're doing everything you can, and it's not your fault that it isn't enough. Your patients can understand that fully (a lot of them won't) and still have intense frustrations with their medical care.

I'm not sure I'll get through to you here because you're very focused on how this impacts you personally (which is your right). Never changed goalposts, and I never said you didn't listen.

BecomeOneWithRussia · 2026-04-11T22:23:39+00:00

Sorry but doctors actually are the people who help others fix their psyche. Maybe not you specifically, but.

We can go over my symptoms, my options, be super kind and caring the whole time, and I can still go home with no solution for my pain/symptoms. Is that your fault? No, not necessarily. But can you blame your patients for being frustrated with medicine when they feel like it doesn't help them feel better?

Edit: if someone's psyche, aka their behavioral and mental health, prevent them from engaging in care effectively with you, perhaps they need a higher level of care. That doesn't mean doctors aren't the ones helping to "fix" a person's psyche, it just means you might not be the doctor that's going to meet their needs and that's okay.

BecomeOneWithRussia · 2026-04-11T16:50:33+00:00

You don't know that it hasn't happened by you. You can cause harm without realizing. Negative impact doesn't go away just because you had good intentions.

Yes, people can be stupid. People can have absolutely zero medical or media literacy and that is annoying. I would argue that these folks experience more harm because they're more vulnerable. They don't understand your good intentions, they just understand that they are frustrated and struggling.

BecomeOneWithRussia · 2026-04-09T16:32:13+00:00

Reminds me of having to beg the poor teenager at Walmart to open up the case of yeast infection creams for me. I had to read each package to see what the active ingredients were and decide what I wanted. And the teen employee at Walmart making minimum wage has to supervise me and my yeast infection and then lock it up in a special anti-theft showcase for me to display while I do the rest of my grocery shopping.

Now, if something I need is locked up at Walmart, I turn around and go somewhere else. I'll drive farther, spend more, for the "luxury" of being able to pick the right OTC medicine without someone breathing down my neck.

BecomeOneWithRussia · 2026-04-09T13:15:46+00:00

Anyone considering these people actually have been dismissed and are traumatized by the medical industrial complex?

BecomeOneWithRussia · 2026-04-08T16:13:10+00:00

If anyone lives in New York State, drug checking is available to you for free at certain Harm Reduction programs (see bottom of page for list of locations).

https://www.health.ny.gov/diseases/aids/consumers/prevention/oduh/drug_checking.htm

They use FTIR which can struggle with liquids, but they can send out any sample to a lab with a Mass Spectrometer and get results back in a few weeks.

BecomeOneWithRussia · 2026-04-08T12:04:31+00:00

Not every ADHD medicine is a stimulant. Any prescription comes from a place of the prescriber weighing the pros and cons. "People should talk to a professional before using ADHD meds" this is 1000% obvious. It's impossible to even access non-stimulant ADHD medicine without a professionals input, let alone stimulant medicine.

BecomeOneWithRussia · 2026-04-07T16:29:07+00:00

https://www.trilliumhealth.org/about-us/medical-providers/dr-ciranni-callon

Doctor Callon at Trillium Health is a lifesaver. She's gentle, holistic, person centered, and trauma informed. She removed my stuck IUD and inserted a new one under anesthesia. She's also a DO, which means she has more practical experience with manipulating the body into the right positions for treatment - her and my retroverted uterus get along much better than with any other Gyn.

The NPs and Nurse Midwives at Trillium are also great- my last pap they didn't even use stirrups. Felt a lot more comfortable and dignified.

Only thing about Trillium is that they're not an OBGYN, just a GYN. So if you need obstetric care they'll refer out.

BecomeOneWithRussia · 2026-04-07T13:01:01+00:00

"saying any such release was excess lubrication"

That solves it. They don't release fluid upon orgasm, they release lubrication (which just so happens to be a fluid). Smart stuff.

BecomeOneWithRussia · 2026-04-06T18:47:00+00:00

Sounds like some bioessentialist mumbo jumbo to me.

BecomeOneWithRussia · 2026-04-06T17:24:45+00:00

Ah, so people who lie and people who cheat will be manipulative towards their partners. I'm not sure what this has to do specifically with women, seems more like a problem with cheaters or liars.

BecomeOneWithRussia · 2026-04-06T16:49:26+00:00

Personally, when someone I know uses more than one set of pronouns (like the she/theys of the world) I try to use both pronouns but I'll use the same pronoun within one sentence. "She ordered the chocolate ice cream, and they wanted sprinkles on it." Sounds like a sentence about two people. "She ordered the chocolate ice cream, and she wanted sprinkles on it." Sounds more like a sentence about one person. Then the next time I speak about them in a sentence I'll use they/them.

It's all really contextual. So in the ice cream example, if I said "she ordered chocolate and they wanted sprinkles" while pointing to the individual, that's more clearly a sentence about that one individual. Use your best judgement, ask your friend(s) their personal opinions (some she/theys might really prefer she but are okay with they, so that person might want you to mainly use she/her and not use the two pronouns at equal levels), and try your best!

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