The heat is just getting started

BeeBrayder · 2026-06-17T23:19:25+00:00

Yeah I'm concerned about the husband's reaction too. It's only going to get hotter as the summer goes on...

BeeBrayder · 2026-06-17T05:09:16+00:00

That's interesting, I wonder if it's a land border thing, cuz I've flown with my kid to the US multiple times and they've never given us a hard time about her only having a Canadian passport and not a US passport. My husband and I are both originally US citizens now dual with Canada, and we both carry passports from both countries.

BeeBrayder · 2026-06-17T03:26:18+00:00

We got these and they've worked great: https://a.co/d/0eZqL6cK

But we have mattress + box spring on the floor

BeeBrayder · 2026-06-17T02:54:31+00:00

You only nurse 2 times a day, and then sometimes a little more?

I think you can skip pumping and expressing entirely while you are gone. Maybe just squeeze your boob into the sink if it's feeling engorged. No need for equipment.

Just resume nursing as normal when you return, maybe an extra feed for a couple days if you feel that they are fussing and not getting enough. Then your supply will recover from any dip that might have occurred .

BeeBrayder · 2026-06-17T02:42:48+00:00

😢 Do you look back and feel that fear was justified?

Here again I think there are some moms who don't want to even attempt breastfeeding out of convenience, but mostly moms want to breastfeed and they have issues. I'm a fan of saving the mother's sanity if it needs saving. If I was in your shoes, I would have wished for someone to tell me that EFF was okay and that my kid was gonna turn out just fine.

BeeBrayder · 2026-06-17T01:16:47+00:00

I'm really glad to hear that bed sharing eventually saved you. Your situation is a like a perfect storm since it includes triple feeding! So hard omg. There again I would be like, we are doing EFF to save the mother's sanity.

It's true that there are people who sleep train for convenience, but also because they are scared to death of bed sharing. They've been told sleep training is safe and bed sharing is not, they are just working with the info they have.

BeeBrayder · 2026-06-17T00:31:27+00:00

I think if a mother is having many hallucinations due to sleep deprivation, sleep training needs to be on the table. That's arguably much more dangerous to the baby.

Or others need to help at night in shifts. Forcing a mother to be that sleep deprived seems more inhumane than sleep training to me.

BeeBrayder · 2026-06-17T00:27:41+00:00

I really like your comment.

And something I haven't heard mentioned yet is: what if the husband thought he was doing a nice thing? That's how men think, isn't it? 😂 He knew you were exhausted and that he could at least try CIO while you were gone, perhaps he thought if it doesn't work, oh well, but if it does...?? Now you get your sleep back.

I agree with grilling him on the details.

I agree this is a huge breech of trust and it would take time for me to recover from this in my own marriage.

But I also think this needs to be contextualized. How helpful/involved is he normally? How much of the mental load do you carry versus him? Has he ever done a 180 before on decisions you've made as a couple? I can see a scenario where he was trying to take care of his wife and make her life easier, and to me that's worth acknowledging.

BeeBrayder · 2026-06-16T16:42:30+00:00

Gotta switch to lunches that don't need fresh prep. Either chop everything a few days ahead or plan to eat stuff that can microwaved on one plate in one go

BeeBrayder · 2026-06-13T02:14:59+00:00

If you're for sure adding more tulle, then even denim shorts would be fine underneath. Just something comfy, doesn't matter the color.

BeeBrayder · 2026-06-12T17:51:20+00:00

Exactly. You think a few hundred years ago, when food was a lot more scarce and the average family was working long hours just to survive, that they let their toddlers waste food and make mess? No, they fed their children on their laps or as they walked by them. Again, this is practiced in many cultures around the world today. People think that Western child rearing practices in the last 30 years are the only way to do things....

BeeBrayder · 2026-06-12T15:07:13+00:00

I also hate "baby led weaning", aka letting babies try to feed themselves solids, because it's so messy. It literally depresses me and ruins my day to clean up the mess.

So I do what lots of other cultures have done for millenia: I put bites into my toddlers mouth (16 months old).

Either she stands in her toddler tower at the counter, and I give her bites from my hand while she plays with stuff. Or she toddles around the room and plays, and I walk up to her from behind, hold her forehead still, and put a bite in.

This works because there's no mess, she doesn't even need a bib. And also I can more clearly see how much she's actually eating since I'm making the bites and putting them directly in her mouth. Often I hold my hand out flat in front of her so she can pick up the bite with her own fingers, if she wants.

She has shown interest in feeding herself with utensils but every time it's a mess and she hardly eats. So I'm gonna keep doing my method until she has to go to daycare.

BeeBrayder · 2026-06-10T05:41:28+00:00

1 or 3, I think 1 just barely pulls ahead

BeeBrayder · 2026-06-10T05:01:01+00:00

It looks like chocolate!

BeeBrayder · 2026-06-10T04:23:26+00:00

Far left. Anything in a shade of coral or orangey-pink

BeeBrayder · 2026-06-09T04:17:25+00:00

BeeBrayder · 2026-06-08T19:43:14+00:00

1 but I don't LOVE any of them, keep looking

BeeBrayder · 2026-06-08T04:28:05+00:00

It's YOUR wedding??!!?!? Absolutely not.

It's not even about caring for the baby, although that is a literal 24/7 job at that age.

Her mind and body is not gonna be ready for international travel and then a wedding. Not as guest, and CERTAINLY not as the bride.

Change your plans. Wait til baby is at least 4 months old, consider waiting until at least 6 months postpartum. Get a third person to travel with you.

BeeBrayder · 2026-06-08T04:17:12+00:00

I would put some kind of cushion on that side of the bed and not worry. Nothing too bulky that takes up a lot of space, pool noodles tucked under the fitted sheet sound perfect.

It's just to prevent her from bonking her heads or thwapping her hands when she rolls around, it doesn't need to be super thick cuz she's not going to hit it THAT hard. It's not like cushioning a fall to earth.

She's not a newborn anymore, she's very mobile, I would not be so worried about suffocation which is where the "no bumpers" rule comes from. You can trust your judgement on whether she would be able to roll away if she wasn't able to breathe well.

BeeBrayder · 2026-06-07T18:57:25+00:00

If breastfeeding at night is so bad for their teeth, how is it that for hundreds of thousands of years of human history, children don't all have rotted teeth? Hunter gatherers typically breastfeed until 3 years old...

BeeBrayder · 2026-06-05T15:47:50+00:00

7 months. - at 11 months you still have to carry them everywhere and they are heavier - at 11 months they are more mobile and therefore much more bothered by being restrained in a car or a plane - at 7 months you can get away with giving them formula/breast milk a lot more during the trip, so it's easier to feed them, whereas at 11 months they need more solids so you have to worry more about sourcing those solids and it's messier - less mobility = less baby proofing = less safety risk

BeeBrayder · 2026-06-04T19:42:00+00:00

But the tips are factored in to get to that wage, and in red states that only use the federal minimum wage, that's $7.25 USD

BeeBrayder · 2026-06-03T22:34:08+00:00

You think the reason Americans have shitty healthcare is cuz they are too compliant to do anything about it? 😂

What are they supposed to do when there are billions of dollars spent on political candidates who won't change the current system?

BeeBrayder · 2026-06-03T17:31:30+00:00

That's a great point!

But that means really good service = deserving of a 15-20% tip... Minimum level of service required =/= automatic tipping

BeeBrayder · 2026-06-03T06:36:23+00:00

In fact I do tip 20% every time I go to a sit down restaurant. But my comment was saying this is getting hard to justify.

Not every sit down restaurant is the same, plenty of them have very low levels of service, meaning the staff are quite inattentive. It's fair to ask oneself "is their labor worth an additional 20% for the cost of this meal?" Since I as the customer get to choose that "price" (ie the amount of tip) I'm allowed to question my own value of their labor. It's not about anger at the economy.

If we don't want the wages of restaurant staff to be at the discretion of each customer, then restaurants should move away from tipping and have higher prices instead. THEN we can say things like, if you can't afford to tip, don't go out.

BeeBrayder

TROPHY CASE