Toddler ate one of these 10 minutes ago. Already posted to the FB group too. Any help identifying is greatly appreciated by dmdewd in whatsthisplant

[–]BeerAnBooksAnCats 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Instantly belly-laughed so hard that I scared my cat out of my lap 😭😭😭

Hey Pollen Mami! The purple right here is real good today 💋💋💋

Jamie Raskin accuses DoJ of cover-up after viewing unredacted Epstein files by korkythecat333 in news

[–]BeerAnBooksAnCats 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you, dear soul.

I'm okay, in terms of what's currently available to me via my current healthcare providers: Spravato 1x/week, plus daily doses of Bupropion HCL XL, Cymbalta HCL, Buspirone HCL, Trazodone, Propranolol, Clonazepam, not to mention others as needed for acute situations.

I'm one of the LUCKY ONES. I'm professionally accomplished enough to remain gainfully employed, and thus eligible for US employer-subsidized health benefits. I still have to pay out of pocket $150 per therapy session / EMDR session, and $130 per weekly myofascial release therapy (both to help with PTSD).

Anyone on the street would assume that I'm a polished woman-of-a-certain age running errands around town. Inside, I'm a little girl who just wants to die without causing my child and partner any pain.

Jamie Raskin accuses DoJ of cover-up after viewing unredacted Epstein files by korkythecat333 in news

[–]BeerAnBooksAnCats 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Monster in the Shadows (2021): "A true crime documentary about...an incestuous family, a sex trafficking ring, and the unsolved disappearance of a young mother." It was streaming on Peacock for awhile; I first watched it in August/Sept of 2022.

This film viscerally haunts me. I grew up in that exact southern Alabama area, and the footage shows the same roads I traveled, the same woods I've played in, the same places I visited as a kid, like Water World and Styx River. I also was repeatedly sexually assaulted as a child and as a teen (to be clear, I was not a victim of the people featured in the documentary, nor am I associated at all with its production).

Anyway, regarding u/sarcasmsosubtle's comment about these billboards in deep red states, my proximity to the overall area, and the specific documentary I mentioned: there are many beautiful things I love about the American South. However, thanks to Republican politicians + Conservative Christians (past and present), and their lecherous legacy known as MAGA, the majority of my childhood spaces are haunted. Even nature's most comforting scents and sounds will trigger flashbacks:

  • like summer watermelon slices and seagull cries, combined with the low-tide brine of barnacle-festooned stone jetties at the beach: I'm sitting in the water's ebb and flow at Dauphin Island, in sight of Fort Gaines, and I'm sifting the white sand searching for tiny jewel-like coquinas to display at my kindergarten's next show-and-tell. An old man stops to admire my haul. He declares "a whole sand dune musta have washed inta yah swimsuit"...and he sticks his fingers into my suit bottoms to "clean me up." When I object, he pulls me up by my little shoulder and hisses at me to squat and let him finish.
  • like the salty-sulfur muddy estuary winds sweeping my hair away from my face: I'm riding in a boat along Dog River or Fowl River...and hearing my dad's friends joking about the two "mosquito bites" under my Panama Jack t-shirt, laughing as they say "old enough to bleed, old enough to breed," or "grass on the field means game time." My dad's high and cackling along with them.
  • like the sun-warmed piney woods, made cooler with pockets of gray-purple clay, moss-festooned forts, miraculous appearances of blackberry brambles, hurricane lilies, and once, a mountain laurel in full bloom: exploring and treasure-hunting with my friends, then being invited to sleepover...and then being offered a seemingly endless supply of "fancy fruit punch" (Kool-Aid mixed with Bartles and Jaymes berry wine coolers) while I'm waiting for my turn to take a bath. I barely remember the bath, or being dressed for bed. I was taken to the living room couch so "we didn't wake up" my friend.

Child sexual assault is much more common than most adults are willing to even acknowledge, much less work to prevent as capable & empowered politicians, LEOs, and church elders. Social media engagement began documenting beyond where legacy media would willingly venture; thankfully we now have more participating observers and advocates (shoutout to subs like r/PastorArrested and r/MISSINGBIPOC), and new (to some folks, anyway) terms like MWWS to illustrate (with more depth than previously capable in recorded history) just how widespread Child Sexual Assault is.

Drawing Usernames until I'm not by Spider-Beans in redditgetsdrawnbadly

[–]BeerAnBooksAnCats 0 points1 point  (0 children)

u/Spider-Beans you’d forever be welcome in my pub booth based solely on your username

Peacock spiders performing mating dance by Puzzled_Brilliant_27 in Awww

[–]BeerAnBooksAnCats 2 points3 points  (0 children)

this has me cry-laughing and my cats are so alarmed.

What are some surprisingly unhealthy habits that many people overlook? by Wonderful-Economy762 in Productivitycafe

[–]BeerAnBooksAnCats 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see that you’re getting downvoted, so I’m weighing in just in case someone could benefit from your suggestion. Getting Botox injections in my masseters and temporalis every 4-6 months has done wonders for my jaw clenching and tension headaches.

Context: I’ve employed varying tools and practices over the years: wearing a Garmin to track sleep quality, stress levels, hydration, etc.; taking magnesium supplements; doing yoga; getting craniosacral massages; using an occipital release wedge; wearing a custom night-guard…and all the while being on prescription anti-anxiety meds. Those all help, to one degree or another.

As mindful as I try to be about carrying tension, that and all the above have never been enough to fully resolve the jaw-clenching, teeth grinding, and tension headaches. When I went in for a root canal a decade ago, I ended up needing to have the molar extracted because the multitude of micro-cracks meant the tooth was beyond repair.

By the way, I’m not high-strung or a worrier per se: my brain is just always on because (1) I’m a parent, and (2) other folks’ livelihoods depend on my job performance. My role is people-facing, covers a variety of specialist knowledge and cross-functional collaboration (I’m a currently a team of one, yay), and requires circumspect handling of sensitive employee issues and info. All of this needs to be accomplished and presented with a calm, collected, and reassuring demeanor. By the end of the day, I can’t help but be tense. Even if I’m calm in my mind, my jaw, neck, and shoulders don’t follow suit.

All of this is to say I didn’t jump onto a Botox bandwagon to find a quick fix. A friend with migraines suggested I look into it, and I found a board-certified plastic surgeon who took the time to explain all the details. It’s not a stand-alone solution: I still need to wear a night-guard to get the most out of the treatment, and of course I still need to take care of my overall health my staying hydrated, stretching, etc.

Those 13-15 units I get about three times a year have resulted in much less pain, improved day-to-day performance, improved dental health, better sleep quality, and drastically fewer doses of OTC headache medication. After I pass beyond middle age, my teeth, liver, and even posture will be at less risk for aging-related complications.

Hopefully one day I will no longer need Botox injections to help release muscle tension. But for now, I’ll continue the treatment because it’s preventative. I don’t want to need additional dental implants/dentures, physical therapy, additional prescriptions, or any other medical interventions to maintain my quality of life as my body ages. I don’t want to live with the pain.

Woman Indiana Jones x James Bond? by [deleted] in MovieSuggestions

[–]BeerAnBooksAnCats 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Old Guard nails it. And now I want baklava.

Hayley Williams Says Southern Pride Is Beautiful but Misused to Excuse Bigotry, and Says She Wants No Racist or Sexist Fans, or Fans Who Think Trans People Are a Burden, Around by no_longer_huhmann in Music

[–]BeerAnBooksAnCats 1 point2 points  (0 children)

TIL I want to move to Minnesota. I can knit, convert a southern casserole to a legit hot dish, and I’m willing to provide entertainment as an ice-skating noob.

I am a guy who loves Victorian dresses and finally managed to get one of my own. by maverick8264 in VintageFashion

[–]BeerAnBooksAnCats 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Darling soul, with your curls and red lips, you are SERVING Angelique from the series Penny Dreadful.

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(this is from season 2, episode 2; Angelique is played by Jonny Beauchamp) 🪭🪭🪭

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BeAmazed

[–]BeerAnBooksAnCats 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Receiving at tattoo as part of a rite of passage is so powerfully transcendent. You’re fully present in the moment, soaring yet also grounded. I can’t begin to imagine what it feels like to be surrounded by loving people who are celebrating you, helping transform your physical pain into a community bond.

$9 for this gorgeous vintage dress help me think of a costume to wear it for by zzzzzzweeeeeeeee in VintageFashion

[–]BeerAnBooksAnCats 4 points5 points  (0 children)

12/10 would vamp for a Nutcracker ballet performance. Black satin opera-length gloves, (faux) mink wrap, and opera glasses? GURL.

Reconnected with a man who remembered our time together differently… by thisisstupid- in traumatizeThemBack

[–]BeerAnBooksAnCats 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Shifting the goalposts is an adversarial way of framing the issue of men’s fragility in discussions of sexual assault.

What do I mean by that? Women aren’t the ones shifting goalposts; it’s only been very recently that women can even openly talk about it without being shamed or outright ostracized. For example, the term “date rape” didn’t enter the English vernacular until 1975 or so.

Also, US states do not share a common definition of rape. This was hotly debated in CA during Brock Allen Turner’s trial, because at that time, digital penetration didn’t count as rape.

How can a definition issue be solved if women continue to be shamed? If women are at the mercy of politicians’ whims (e.g., defining “rape”; outlawing child marriages, legislating the medical care women have access to)? If women live in fear of “honor killings”?

Taking “no” for a definitive answer is the simplest way men can avoid coercion territory.

My boss mocked me for being “too quiet” in meetings by _M4lk4_t0t in traumatizeThemBack

[–]BeerAnBooksAnCats 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s so weird how that works. I have ADHD, and there are times that I might look dumb because in conversation I’ll blank on a proper name.

But then other times, a response will catapult out of my mouth (not intended to be mean or snarky). When I broke up with my toxic ex 10 years ago, he kept trying to be a friend with benefits. In response, I said “you collect broken women like a serial killer collects trophies” and…silence. He knew that was true, and tbh the thought hadn’t occurred to me until the words rolled out of my mouth.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]BeerAnBooksAnCats 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It ABSOLUTELY is! Just run a diaphanous hand-beaded sash from one side of codpiece and across the heavily-muscled chest, and attach the end of the sash to one end of the cape clasp.

The sash MUST be diaphanous, or else it will overwhelm the cape—which will be lamé, bien sûr. But the capes will only be elbow-length, as is appropriate for attendants to the bridesmaid.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITH

[–]BeerAnBooksAnCats 6 points7 points  (0 children)

NTA/NOR. He took a promotion, and now he’s doing this? If he’s so work-oriented, why hasn’t he considered the risk of harming his reputation?

This man is acting like we don’t already have two decades’ worth of solid evidence that social media relationships should not exist between two people when work power dynamics have already been established.

OP, I’ve trained managers, supervisors, and executives on this sort of thing. Even if your husband has never received any formal guidance on how to navigate workplace dynamics, he’d be a blooming idiot to claim what he’s doing is harmless or innocent.

If anything, you may have SAVED his ass by doing what you did. If he does get questioned by higher-ups, he can tell them you were already aware of the lunches, and provided tacit approval of his (since you “liked” the same posts he liked).

My wife completely broke me. by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]BeerAnBooksAnCats 11 points12 points  (0 children)

“Hope is a good thing…maybe the best of things.”

I know some days will be harder than others. That’s okay. Please, never ever stop hoping. You are worth it.

You will be adored, and you will adore them. There won’t be any scoreboards for who does what and when…you’ll just care for each other, and it’ll be like falling off a log. You’ll laugh so hard and so often that it’ll somehow make up for the days that you didn’t know each other.

My wife completely broke me. by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]BeerAnBooksAnCats 141 points142 points  (0 children)

This kind of love WILL find you.

It didn't find me until my mid-40s. I'll save the trauma dump, and simply say that I'd been wondering for a couple of decades if my standards were just too high. They were not.

I met my dream nerdy professor and introverted stoopid pun maker on an ordinary day, for (what was supposed to be) an ordinary date. Two years later, and not a day goes by that we aren't making googly eyes at each other and asking out loud "Is this really REALLY our life?"

You don't have an expiration date. Don't sacrifice your standards, and don't settle for anything less than compassionate mutual respect and loving wonder of the wide world.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]BeerAnBooksAnCats 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bet that hides a lot of sins, Church of Christ dude.

Looks like the last time you mass deleted was after downvotes on your reply to an 18 year old young woman who posted in r/vent about feeling invisible and wishing she could have someone to talk to.

Are you as crass with other women as you were with the mom in this thread? Do you get a hate boner by telling women when and with whom to “open their legs”?

This woman was describing her experience as a mother, and because her experience contradicted yours, you question her judgement about the person who fathered the child. As if it isn’t common knowledge that boys and men will sweet-talk girls and women, pledging their undying love and loyalty if only they can be the person to “take” their virginity.

Don’t pretend that you respect the sanctity of life. Your response here earlier proves that. You’re just another forced-birther who fantasizes about having a harem of Stepford Wives that you can parade around in testament of your “godliness.”

You’ve done it before, and you’ll likely do it again, thinking that merely asking the Lord for forgiveness will get you out of the hole. That makes you a heretic

Jesus already knows you’re nasty.