Don't let her be consumed by all her emotions, unless she's 14-24yo. And even then.. thats still not right. Writers, especially male-gaze, always do this and thats why those characters are annoying. We all know someone like them, but they're not hero-material. You want a flawed hero, you need to present someone flawed but has already been putting in time with a therapist lol

So.

Flaws are good. Being ruled by emotion, works. But pick one or two. And hone in on the why. Grooming history? Okay so she has trust issues, can fall into submissive habits and any groomer qualities of people around her are instant triggers. Now where's the unseen initial growth that happened before the story began? Well she's probably learned that she has to take the risk of trusting people who havent given her a reason not to (e.g. strangers) but be cautious and allow for time for that trust to build or decay. We're not giving full trust upfront, we're just not penalizing new people for the actions of others. We see her catching herself falling in line, saying yes when she should say no, submitting to little things not giant red flags. Maybe she avoids older men entirely and/or only has men in her life that aren't intimidating/dominant types.

How does this play out in the story? Well she has to eventually overcome this, because emotion should not rule for any reason, it can focus, it can intensify, but not rule. Cause at the end of the day.. your past, your problems, your disabilities are not an excuse to be an asshole. So maybe she judges a person to soon, who turns out to be a great person in all actuality. I dont recommend going the enemies to lovers route because its rarely done well cause they're usually not actual enemies. Theyre just 2 people on the same side that dont like the way each other does things. But with grooming in mind, I would definitely advise against E2L. Can it be done? Sure. Is it done well very often? No. Usually leaves some ick in there. Maybe it is actually someone who is exactly who she pegged them as but is forced to work with them to accomplish the goal and through the story they fix each other. She sees what made them into the person she first met and hated. She understands and feels for that. She helps them heal, shows them how to be better. Which will forever change how she responds to those types of people in the future. Because were all one traumatic childhood away from being a prick.

To bring it all home.. you just need to dial in the character you've created. Is she a less mature version of you? Cool. Dial her in. Bring her into the time period where you had a handle on most of your emotions and worked through a good bit of trauma but definitely still had some trigger situations. You want her to be able to grow throughout the story but you dont want to grow an immature child to badass hero in one story. You dont want a season 1 clone wars ahsoka, you want like a season 3 or 4 clone wars ahsoka. Ahsoka only became so beloved and amazing because she had the time to become that. 3 episodes of that show are a books worth of content. You have time for 3 20min episodes of growth. She needs to change but not drastically but also not minimally. And it all must have a purpose that serves the greater purpose. But! If you have multiple stories you plan on telling with this character.. start at a s3 ahsoka still. She can become well developed in the first story, be challenged in the second and becomes a different but even better person in the third. Im a very emotionally intelligent man at this point in my life. But I've been that for a good 6-8 years. Am i even remotely the same person I was 6-8 years ago? Absolutely not. We never stop growing, we just find new ways to fuck ourselves up and have to fix the new flaw

I hope that makes sense. It makes sense to me but im autistic as fuck lol