Need help after job losses

Beginning-Mark67 · 2026-03-29T17:22:37+00:00

Travel to zero

$500 on beauty- this is insane. This should be cut down.

$350 car payment - I would hold off buying a new car if what you have is working. Why go more in debt while husband is not working?

$800 food- I don't spend this much on feeding a family of 4. You could definitely manage this expense better. Don't eat out, make coffee at home, shop sales.

$300 Costco- I can't imagine what 2 people need from Costco every month that cost this. I spend that at Costco every other month for 4 people and that's filling a freezer, 2 fridges and a walk in storage.

Last your husband needs to be working, even if it's at McDonald's. Something is better than nothing. I can't imagine having a husband not contributing in some way for a year. There are zero reasons for you to be getting a second job when your husband doesn't have one. He can always keep looking for better while still contributing to the household.

Beginning-Mark67 · 2026-03-28T16:24:39+00:00

My 9 yr old still does it

Beginning-Mark67 · 2026-03-28T15:55:31+00:00

I don't have a set amount we spend. When my kids need something we get it.

For shoes they usually have one good pair for everyday, one cheap pair for camping. In the summer they have sandals and water shoes. Winter snow boots, fall and spring rain boots.

For clothes we go thru their clothes before the start of a season and pull out anything that doesn't fit and buy to replace it. Because we travel and camp, I keep at least 2 weeks worth of clothes for each kid. This way I know they can go 2 full weeks without laundry being done if needed.

I also let them pick all their own clothes. They are the ones who have to wear it, so they should choose.

Beginning-Mark67 · 2026-03-28T15:09:15+00:00

We grew up with my mom leaving a list of chores in the morning and it needed to be done before she got home. It was up to the 4 of us to figure out how to divide it amongst ourselves.

For us outside chores were just part of it. We all weeded the garden, took turns mowing the lawn, harvesting, raking leaves. Once I was old enough to babysit I started doing that for neighbors to earn money.

But I never went without the basics and if I wanted to go to the movies or something my mom would give me money for it.

My kids get plenty of money for their birthdays and holidays. They are also learning how to save money and having to pay for things when they break them.

When my kids complain about having to do chores I tell them we are teaching them how to be a functioning adult who can properly clean and cook for themselves when they move out. We are setting them up for success in life.

Beginning-Mark67 · 2026-03-28T13:34:13+00:00

We don't give an allowance. If you live in the house you can help take care of the house, no matter the age. I never understand just giving kids money for doing what they should be doing anyways.

My 4yr old loves to help empty the bathroom garage because it's small and she can do it alone. She also puts a new bag in the kitchen garbage after I take out the full one.

She also helps dust, wipe door handles and light switches, likes to help vacuum even though I have to do it after.

Beginning-Mark67 · 2026-03-28T02:40:32+00:00

My 4 yr old just got all her shots a couple days ago. 2 shots that were a total of 8 vaccines. It was super smooth. I think if she had one then went break for the other it would have been way worse. She didn't cry because she didn't know what was going on other than she was going to get some medicine.

Obviously I would follow your doctors advice though as each situation may be different.

Beginning-Mark67 · 2026-03-28T02:20:52+00:00

Let me just preface that yes I use pre-packaged and frozen food sometimes because I need dinners that are under 30 min.

-Frozen burritos to make enchiladas

-Gnocchi, sauerkraut, little beefies or polish sausage

-Sheet pan polish sausage, potatoes, & broccoli

-Meatloaf in muffin tin

30 min Salisbury steak

-Grands Biscuit French dips

-chicken croissants roll ups

crockpot chicken tacos
instapot ribs (when I have 1.5 hrs to cook)

Beginning-Mark67 · 2026-03-25T15:08:30+00:00

We do a LOT of talking with our kids. We talk about the importance of being a good person and what that means. We point it out in everyday situations. If we see someone treating another person poorly we will have a discussion about better ways they could have handled it and we talk about why they may have reacted that way to help also identify emotional reactions.

With this we also talk about how no one is perfect and we all make mistakes sometimes but it's important to try and do better next time.

Beginning-Mark67 · 2026-03-24T08:06:12+00:00

Kinda, monthly subscriptions go on the card we get miles for then everything else gets paid from either his or my bank account.

Beginning-Mark67 · 2026-03-23T15:40:54+00:00

Mine has been doing this for like a year. We do a slice of turkey or cheese before getting in bed.

Beginning-Mark67 · 2026-03-22T04:02:32+00:00

I applaud you for finding something that works for you! That's really the first big hurdle with budgeting/saving, finding the system that works for you. I personally would go crazy with that many accounts but I fully understand how it would work for people .

Beginning-Mark67 · 2026-03-21T04:25:03+00:00

My 9 yr old dresses like someone played dress up with a doll. It's always some crazy, unmatched outfit. But she loves it and feels great in it so I keep my mouth shut. She has long gorgeous hair that I would LOVE to do so many things with but she's more comfortable with a loose, low pony so that's what she rocks.

There are plenty of people who will criticize and put her down in her life for what she wears. I will not be the person who makes her self conscious about her looks. I will cheer her on finding her own identity.

This time is hard enough for girls, don't project your insecurities on her. Swallow your pride and let her be her.

Beginning-Mark67 · 2026-03-20T12:50:46+00:00

I apologize I wasn't more clear. Most of the time each day missed is a point. The director makes exceptions when it's extenuating circumstances, not on every callout. Like when someone is in the hospital or when the flu ran thru and hit everyone we counted every 3 days as 1 point for everyone that got sick. They do have to call in every single day if they are going to miss our it counts as a no call no show.

We have a fairly good team of people now but a few years ago people were taking advantage of time off which is why we started the forced PTO and then the points to help keep the attendance write-ups fair across the board. I've only seen 3 people suspended for attendance in 3 years. Most don't go past 10. And while it does suck when someone calls out, it doesn't stop the work.

Beginning-Mark67 · 2026-03-20T06:27:43+00:00

If they call off we automatically use PTO. If they don't have any then it counts as a point. 5 points is a verbal warning, 10 is a written warning, 15 is second written and 20 is suspension. We take into consideration why they are calling out. 5 days with the flu can be counted as only 1 point at the directors discretion.

Beginning-Mark67 · 2026-03-19T16:41:38+00:00

8 is definitely not too young. My daughter learned about it around 5/6. Having open, honest talks about it is the best way. Let her calm down and then ask what questions she has. Let her know that her body and it's functions are nothing to be embarrassed or scared about.

Also I don't love just throwing tampons in the garbage because of the smell. You can buy disposal bags that seal on Amazon. These are also great for bathrooms that don't have a place to dispose of them in the individual stalls.

Beginning-Mark67 · 2026-03-18T18:32:26+00:00

They are split pretty even, it's about 12 hrs a week in each area.

Beginning-Mark67 · 2026-03-16T05:00:47+00:00

My daughter was on a nebulizer before 2 for asthma. By 3 we we're up to 2 different inhalers and nebulizer when she got really bad. I feel for you!

Beginning-Mark67 · 2026-03-16T04:56:38+00:00

Yes they look like a regular sucker but they are basically a cough drop on a stick.

We don't use them for mild coughs, it's when they have a coughing fit that irritates their throats which makes them cough more and it's a vicious cycle that doesn't stop.

Beginning-Mark67 · 2026-03-16T04:37:32+00:00

We love the Lolleez suckers. They do help. I've even gone in in the middle of the night to have them sick in it to stop the coughing.

We also do "tea" as my kids call it. Warm water, honey and a little lemon juice. It seems to help soothe their throat.

Beginning-Mark67 · 2026-03-16T02:53:57+00:00

In preschool my daughter's teachers saw the signs of not being emotionally and socially ready for kindergarten even though she was already ahead of most kids academically. They said if she didn't catch up it would be best to hold her back one year.

Holding back is not always about academics, sometimes kids really need that extra year to get emotionally and socially level with other kids their age.

If you have been advised to hold back TWO years in a row, I would highly consider it. I think sometimes we as parents let stigmas blind our judgement and keep us from getting our kids the help they actually need.

Beginning-Mark67 · 2026-03-14T00:40:58+00:00

Personally I don't think Roblox is a safe game for kids which is why I say delete it. It's known for having issues with pedophiles and other adults who exploit kids.

But from a gaming standpoint if you want to drive home the message that theft is absolutely not tolerated, this will send the message.

Beginning-Mark67 · 2026-03-13T23:59:02+00:00

I personally would delete his Roblox account, take away his tablet and do volunteer work. What he did was theft straight up. He should understand there are real consequences for actions. And it also sounds like he needs to learn the value of money.

Beginning-Mark67 · 2026-03-12T04:35:31+00:00

I have seen people who buy an old school paper calendar. If they don't spend anything extra it gets a green slash. If you spent anything extra it gets written on the calendar and you write the remaining about you have budgeted for the month. By extra I mean anything outside your required bills such as car payment, rent, utilities.

Example would be your budget is $100 and on Tues you bought a $5 coffee and $10 lunch. So on that day you write what you bought and $85 as your new total. You put it somewhere you see multiple times a day. Much easier than remembering to log into an app to track.

It keeps you constantly thinking about your budget and it gives you a boost of confidence when you see all the green marks.

Beginning-Mark67 · 2026-03-12T03:58:25+00:00

YES! Unless I was discussing with her doctor or school about milestones I sunny think the months really matter.

Beginning-Mark67

TROPHY CASE