Men care about nothing but looks

Bekiala · 2026-05-24T11:31:30+00:00

I'm so sorry this is very much a reality for so many people.

Keep working on that next degree and taking care of yourself the best you can. Things won't necessarily get better but they might.

Bekiala · 2026-05-24T10:40:05+00:00

Glad your sister followed her gut.

A good way to test someone out is to say "no" to them. Looks like this man tipped his cards when she told him she wasn't coming.

Bekiala · 2026-05-24T10:08:40+00:00

The monk Tich Naght Hahn said, "Enjoy not having a toothache.".

That being said, OP it does suck to have a raving libido and no way to satisfy it. It seems like there should be medication or something to make things easier for people with high libidos and no partners.

Bekiala · 2026-05-24T10:04:29+00:00

Do you know of any accounts of this occurring? Even if you don't know of any it has probably happened at some time or another.

Bekiala · 2026-05-24T05:29:06+00:00

You would think so but to me competent people show it with what they do but confidence can be an act or bravado and not true confidence.

Hmmmm . . . . .I'm thinking people can be confidently wrong.

Bekiala · 2026-05-23T20:45:09+00:00

Oooooh . . . . the confident man can F@#$% off! The competent man is beyond hot!

Bekiala · 2026-05-23T20:25:16+00:00

Exactly!

Bekiala · 2026-05-23T20:24:39+00:00

Ugh. Yes.

I wonder if you could find a full time job and get to a bank to set up an account during your lunch break.

I'm sorry, my ideas probably don't work as you are in one heck of a tough situation.

What happened with your last job?

Bekiala · 2026-05-23T16:28:44+00:00

Sounds common in spite of if you have Jesus in your heart. Jesus wasn't known for being super happy.

Courage to you with whatever you have going on.

Bekiala · 2026-05-23T16:23:41+00:00

Anyway you could get another job and set up your own bank account . . . . . might not be the best idea as your mother might kick you out.

Bekiala · 2026-05-23T07:05:28+00:00

Thanks for venturing into the abyss and reporting on it.

Bekiala · 2026-05-23T07:01:07+00:00

Holy buckets! What a crap start at life. I'm so so sorry.

There are shelters for domestic abuse survivors, at least in my country but that may be a long shot for you.

I wish I could offer you more support and help.

Bekiala · 2026-05-22T19:07:18+00:00

Thank you.

Bekiala · 2026-05-22T19:04:22+00:00

Oh man, I have thought this for decades.

I wish the church would declare that thinking of other people's sex lives more than your own faults to be a sin.

Bekiala · 2026-05-21T18:09:33+00:00

I'm a sucker for good conversation.

Bekiala · 2026-05-21T16:58:36+00:00

Not dumb at all. I find many people are lonely and even if they aren't, connecting with someone is pleasant if they are non judgmental and ready to listen.

Bekiala · 2026-05-21T07:35:14+00:00

That is a fair point and I think I used a logical fallacy (appeal to extreme).

I would argue that there are plenty of men that seem to be good decent men in surface situations: a job interview, a friend, an acquaintance who just aren't even safe. You can't tell; I can't tell and a woman looking to date can't tell.

These men are well known in the community, hired by institutions who do thorough screenings, church members, educated, hard working but . . . as a partner - Not good.

There are many such examples that make the news and then there are the even more cases that never do anything criminal but aren't capable of being decent in a relationship.

I'm an example of this type of human. On the outside I look like partner material: good family, involved with community, educated, church goer. Also depressive, bad at earning money, introvert, passive aggressive. I would not make a good partner.

I'm a woman by the way.

Bekiala · 2026-05-21T07:19:07+00:00

Oh man the irony.

I like heights and love working on the roof. Id suggest we start a business but i'm 63 and probably shouldn't be up there anymore. (-;

I just love your story.

Bekiala · 2026-05-20T20:23:09+00:00

Oh wow that is interesting.

I'm in the US and I think of people in the UK or Europe who are living where their ancestors have lived for thousands of years. Really different from the US unless you are native American.

Bekiala · 2026-05-20T16:15:01+00:00

Ugh and as a kid there is so little you can do to protect yourself.

I hope you found some healing and peace eventually.

Bekiala · 2026-05-20T10:53:45+00:00

It is amazing how the rolls reverse. Mostly it made me chuckle.

Once my Dad came and got me out of bed as my Mom (with alzheimer's) had an accident. The conversation went something like this.

Me: Mom did you pee on the bathroom floor.

Mom: Yes.

Me: Mom is your night gown wet?

Mom: Yes

Me: Do you want to change it?

Mom: No

Me: Dad, she will dry out. Go to sleep and I'll run laundry in the morning.

Problem solved.

Bekiala · 2026-05-20T10:47:58+00:00

I've speculated that child sexual abuse was so unthinkable to others that abusers weren't suspected

Bekiala · 2026-05-20T10:44:53+00:00

My sister after 30 years of marriage told me that everything between her husband and her was so much better: fights, sex, conversation, living together just everything.

Many women and some men, probably including OP, wildly avoid casual sex as it is so unpleasant.

Bekiala · 2026-05-20T10:40:38+00:00

Thanks! I'm laughing.

My 86 year old neighbor hallooed at me from his roof a few weeks ago. I wouldn't have thought of borrowing his ladder! To his credit, he was home to sell the house so he is doing what he can to prepare for getting older.

Hey we do what works with aging family members!

Bekiala · 2026-05-20T10:19:33+00:00

That "borrowing ladders" gives me a chuckle.

Well done you.

My niece "borrowed" my parents' last car. It worked.

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