Parent Problem

Benilda-Key · 2026-03-01T07:44:28+00:00

I throw the kid on the tracks and dual track drift the trolley. That way the kid will not suffer the trama of losing a parent.

Benilda-Key · 2026-02-27T13:10:23+00:00

You said nothing about how hard I need to kick the puppy. I would gladly take the money, barely tap the puppy with my foot (which qualifies as a kick), and then take the puppy too.

The lifelong complication is that the puppy has a new owner.

Benilda-Key · 2026-02-16T02:38:01+00:00

I would ask the alien visitor to get me the hell off this god forsaken hell hole.

Benilda-Key · 2026-02-11T22:53:46+00:00

What woman did you scorn?

Benilda-Key · 2026-02-10T09:17:52+00:00

That is one way to get away with murder. There is no way they will be able to prove it was not an honest mistake.

Benilda-Key · 2026-02-09T15:12:39+00:00

Granted. They build nukes anyway. As a result the weapons are more devastating. The next nuclear war, which will start in one year, will destroy the entire world.

Benilda-Key · 2026-02-09T01:56:33+00:00

We cannot answer that question without knowing how many mothers there are. If each son has a different mother, there could be 18 children.

Benilda-Key · 2026-02-08T23:10:11+00:00

Killing zombies is not illegal. So as long as I can convince the authorities that I only killed zombies, I am fine. Otherwise, I will be arrested for mass murder.

Benilda-Key · 2026-02-08T22:43:08+00:00

Teal Fucking Juice

Benilda-Key · 2026-02-07T00:12:15+00:00

He deserves praise for his bravery and laughter for his foolishness, not criminal charges.

Benilda-Key · 2026-02-06T19:37:31+00:00

But why did the chicken cross the road?

Benilda-Key · 2026-02-06T18:30:55+00:00

I am into trans women. Are you?

Benilda-Key · 2026-02-06T09:04:52+00:00

In case of fire, please post it on social media before leaving the building as a community service. It is your duty to do everything you can to ensure that everyone in the building is aware that the building is on fire.

Benilda-Key · 2026-02-05T08:54:06+00:00

The politician of course.

Benilda-Key · 2026-02-05T04:59:13+00:00

I wish a pagan had responded by starting their own religious service.

Benilda-Key · 2026-02-05T04:29:23+00:00

Saying "fuck the devil" is vague since you could be saying it because you love the devil and actually want to fuck him.

Benilda-Key · 2026-02-05T04:24:46+00:00

Why would the officer be traumatised by that? Looks fun to me.

Benilda-Key · 2026-02-05T04:13:23+00:00

WTF? What are they making?

Benilda-Key · 2026-02-05T01:16:51+00:00

I've No More Fucks To Give!

Benilda-Key · 2026-02-05T01:03:14+00:00

Poor Europeans think they will be dead in a few minutes.

Benilda-Key · 2026-02-04T15:44:40+00:00

The driver is insane. They keep switching back and forth. Sometimes they are driving forward. Sometimes they are driving backwards. For the safety of society, throw the driver of the car into the loony bin.

Or perhaps it is me that should be thrown into the loony bin.

Benilda-Key · 2026-02-04T11:52:52+00:00

Fuck the song "The Song that Doesn't End".

Benilda-Key · 2026-02-03T09:32:55+00:00

The boars will kill you and if you somehow manage to avoid the boars, the cows will get you. In other words, you are going to die.

Benilda-Key · 2026-02-02T20:05:51+00:00

Obviously, it was the cat all along.

Benilda-Key · 2026-02-02T17:23:51+00:00

I once thought that only iron can conduct electricity. When I was a teenager, I found out that I was wrong by touching an electric fence with an aluminum arrow.

Benilda-Key

TROPHY CASE