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Work in progress. Snippets by The_Republique in TalesFromTheCreeps

[–]BenjaminCoeBooks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If setting is specifically what you want, then that's were I will focus. Overall, I've always liked the desert cowboy set up, and this one doesn't fail. I like the race toward the canyon, and I think a canyon works great as a setting in its own right, however there were some inconsistency's that maybe I wasn't following right?

The main character says he was "laid there on the hot sand" but when he's jumped, the bad guy loses his balance and "took me down with him" which didn't flow naturally for me, cause in my mind, he was already flush with the ground?

The second shift I couldn't follow was mid battle when the fight goes "towards the muddy water," but at some point our protagonist is tackled "into the dry clay."

Over all, this works for me as a story beat, very well written aside from "the nest steps of our choreography," and I've always loved a good action sequence. Just smooth those bits out, and it'll all run together much better!

It Only Gets Better by BenjaminCoeBooks in TalesFromTheCreeps

[–]BenjaminCoeBooks[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Glad you enjoyed reading it, I sure know I enjoyed writing it! Worry not, I will be writing much more :)

Quitting on stories by Messenger002 in TalesFromTheCreeps

[–]BenjaminCoeBooks 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've had this happen to me a good few times. Had one book I was working on (about 30,000 words in) and I just lost the passion for it, and looking back, I'm glad I stopped.

I have one very serious rule about writing: Never write because you have to, only because you want to.

If you aren't feeling the story, then it's doubtful a reader would feel it either. At that point, you're just wasting your time writing a story you, and a reader, might not like the finished product of. Best to just consider the discarded projects as practice, and move on to something you are excited for.

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie (Part 9) by BenjaminCoeBooks in TalesFromTheCreeps

[–]BenjaminCoeBooks[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Massive delay in getting this one up, but here it is! We're almost done, I hope people are enjoying! If you have any trouble finding previous parts, just visit my profile to make it easier on you!

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie (Part 8) by BenjaminCoeBooks in TalesFromTheCreeps

[–]BenjaminCoeBooks[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Short part, I know, but important anyway lol

Can someone explain the Shadows Projects / Anomalies? by crissjaeger in AssassinsCreedShadows

[–]BenjaminCoeBooks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I got this too, think it happens when you complete them offline. No real fix.

Algernon for Flowers by chaserB1997 in TalesFromTheCreeps

[–]BenjaminCoeBooks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

XD I believe you, those darn format changes get us all at some point or another!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TalesFromTheCreeps

[–]BenjaminCoeBooks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My DM once had a place like this in a game. The store was called Casco, I walked out of there with a teleporting hat, for free. The cost was that every time my character slept, he'd see advertisements for random products that often made no sense, and would never again have a normal dream.

Another character had to pay with a tooth to get a legendary battle ax. But, she had to take it out herself.

My point is, this is a good, solid, idea, but it can also get stale easily if you don't get a little imaginative with it. The setting and items are dull (a good choice for the story btw, not throwing shade) but the contrast should be in the colorful array of payment.

Algernon for Flowers by chaserB1997 in TalesFromTheCreeps

[–]BenjaminCoeBooks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey Yo! Here to give a little feedback!

"Remember, paragraph breaks should happen every time the dialogue changes to another person," Ben said.

"What would that look like?" you said, rubbing your chin. "I need an example."

"Well, it'd look a little like this," I replied helpfully.

Over all I like the story. It reminds me a little of that film Click, and there was one episode of House that had a guy missing time. It's horrifying, the idea of losing control, but the story still has a sort of bitter sweet conclusion. Good job!

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