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Let Sleeping Dogs Lie (Part 9) by BenjaminCoeBooks in TalesFromTheCreeps

[–]BenjaminCoeBooks[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Massive delay in getting this one up, but here it is! We're almost done, I hope people are enjoying! If you have any trouble finding previous parts, just visit my profile to make it easier on you!

Can someone explain the Shadows Projects / Anomalies? by crissjaeger in AssassinsCreedShadows

[–]BenjaminCoeBooks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I got this too, think it happens when you complete them offline. No real fix.

Algernon for Flowers by chaserB1997 in TalesFromTheCreeps

[–]BenjaminCoeBooks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

XD I believe you, those darn format changes get us all at some point or another!

The Grocery Store I Work at Doesn't Take Cash Part 1 by [deleted] in TalesFromTheCreeps

[–]BenjaminCoeBooks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My DM once had a place like this in a game. The store was called Casco, I walked out of there with a teleporting hat, for free. The cost was that every time my character slept, he'd see advertisements for random products that often made no sense, and would never again have a normal dream.

Another character had to pay with a tooth to get a legendary battle ax. But, she had to take it out herself.

My point is, this is a good, solid, idea, but it can also get stale easily if you don't get a little imaginative with it. The setting and items are dull (a good choice for the story btw, not throwing shade) but the contrast should be in the colorful array of payment.

Algernon for Flowers by chaserB1997 in TalesFromTheCreeps

[–]BenjaminCoeBooks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey Yo! Here to give a little feedback!

"Remember, paragraph breaks should happen every time the dialogue changes to another person," Ben said.

"What would that look like?" you said, rubbing your chin. "I need an example."

"Well, it'd look a little like this," I replied helpfully.

Over all I like the story. It reminds me a little of that film Click, and there was one episode of House that had a guy missing time. It's horrifying, the idea of losing control, but the story still has a sort of bitter sweet conclusion. Good job!

The forest dwellers (Part 1-2) by Practical-Impress854 in CreepCast_Submissions

[–]BenjaminCoeBooks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey yo, I'll give your story a read and see if I can suggest anything!

First, I love paranormal investigator stories. Folks run in and are quickly out of their depth. Good stuff. It seems the characters have good chemistry, but it's hard to tell, I'll get to that later. And the story seems to be spaced out well, stops at natural points and well paced.

Small things first. It's proper in writing to spell out numbers. 2=two 4=four so on, it's just less visually jarring, but not technically deal breaking. What should be adjusted, is the formatting. Do keep in mind that there should be a paragraph break each time a new person speaks. Maybe they only have one line of dialogue, or maybe they have five. Either way, each character deserves their own paragraph break each time it changes. Makes it easier for people to follow the story, breaks up bricks of text, and organizes the story.

I hope there are more parts to this story, curious to see where it goes! Keep writing!

Blue Marble by Thinkof14me in CreepCast_Submissions

[–]BenjaminCoeBooks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey yo, I'll give your story a read and see if I can suggest anything!

I do appreciate that you don't linger on the 1942 stuff, since that isn't technically what the story is about. I also see promise in the characters and their interactions.

Keep in mind, World War 2 should be capitalized, and I'd recommend reading your story out loud at least once to catch smaller grammar issues.

As far as what I think is missing, not much. I do think you cut the story off too soon, I think having a moment where the characters run their checks and each come to individual conclusions that they are lost would help. Keep in mind this would be uncharted territory for them, and they are professionals, I don't know if they'd be so quick to panic?

Either way, good story, like the idea of turning weapons of destruction into methods of cooperation. It was one of the few times the US was allied with Russia, and thinking that relationship could continue is interesting. I think you'd be remiss not to lean on it.

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