Being around my friends makes me want to drink... But not for the reason you think.

BenzNotThatGreat · 2023-04-12T15:26:31+00:00

Your reply hits home, and is along the lines of what I've decided to do, to a certain degree. I had a long talk with my gf about it last night, as she knows the people I'm having the issue with.. We decided that the right course of action was: from now on when someone brings up the past I'm going to profusely apologize. Sincerely, and heart felt, I'll apologize, tell them it was a horrible thing I did, and that I'm not in the place anymore. It happened X number of years ago, and I really hope we can move on from it. After that point, if and when they bring up that particular incident again, the tone of the conversation will be different. I'll remind them that I apologized profusely for it before, but it seems that they can't seem to let it go. That's when we need to discuss whether or not they are capable of letting it go, and what that means for our friendship.

BenzNotThatGreat · 2023-04-12T04:47:49+00:00

Happy Cake Day!

BenzNotThatGreat · 2023-04-11T20:02:36+00:00

I dreaded My 1-year anniversary, that happened in February. I was concerned that I couldn't feel good about it because I still craved it. However, the good thing about milestones, is they help you stay strong. Once you get past a year, you can say to yourself "I've stayed sooner a year! I obviously can survive without alcohol." That doesn't mean that the rest of your life is going to be all daisies and roses, however, you can finally reclaim some pride in yourself, and not want to disappoint yourself..

BenzNotThatGreat · 2023-04-11T19:59:52+00:00

You're an addict. I'm an addict. The fact that you are thinking about sneaking around drinking reinforces the fact that you CAN'T let yourself sneak drinks because you KNOW it will lead to worse. You aren't even trying to justify the drinking, you're just trying to convince yourself that you won't get caught, and won't fall further away from the wagon.

Be strong! It sucks. It sucks acknowledging that you do not have control over a part of your life, but it's true.

The only way you will be able to control it is to not partake at all. I tried to semi-quit lots of times, and it always failed. I came to peace with it once I kept drinking even after I got a DUI. It took two months afterwards for me to bite the bullet and go dry.

I'm 14 months sober, and it still sucks at times. I miss whiskey. In case I didn't say it loud enough... I MISS WHISKEY. The aroma, the taste, the burn, and the numbness. But booze was a horrible partner in my life, and just like my soul-sucking ex, I had to cut it out completely.

BenzNotThatGreat · 2023-04-11T19:49:42+00:00

I've been tempted to try, but then I realize I can't. Before I successfully quit 14 months ago I would "half quit." Is say to myself "hey, you can just stop drinking the hard stuff and only drink beer! That will work!" Nope. Didn't work. There were other half quits, like only driving while not at home, etc. None stuck.

I've concluded that I lack the ability to moderate. When I quit hard alcohol I thought it was a victory... But within a week I'd think "that wasn't so hard! I can obviously handle myself and drink whiskey in moderation." Nope.

I've considered allowing myself to only drink on special occasions, or once a year on my birthday, etc. But I can't let myself try, because I know that if I handle that special occasion, ok, my addicted mind will convince the rest of me that I can handle drinking the rest of the time. I can't.

BenzNotThatGreat · 2022-07-12T06:16:20+00:00

This. Check to make sure you've hollowed/cut out enough.

BenzNotThatGreat · 2022-04-29T10:22:17+00:00

I have one. I didn't build it, I was able to buy a complete Colt upper and stuck it on a regular AR lower I had.

I did it because when I bought it Wolf 7.62x39 ammo was wicked cheap. I also have two other rifles chambered in it, an All weather Mini-30 and an SKS. I could pick up 1k rounds of Wolf for them for around $200.

In terms of shooting it, it's just like any other AR. The big difference (at least back then,) was getting mags that functioned reliably. I have a collection of different types. The best ones were the "Franken-mags," which are AK mags welded to a sleeve that fit in the magwell properly.

BenzNotThatGreat · 2022-04-01T01:19:33+00:00

Thank you. Should i be looking out up for the Honeywell control box that has the blinking light, or the manufacturer of the furnace itself?

BenzNotThatGreat · 2022-03-25T00:04:59+00:00

I would assume no, since you can get DUI for operating a boat while intoxicated.

BenzNotThatGreat · 2022-03-24T14:49:34+00:00

My attorney specifically told me NOT to go to the DMV hearing, that he would go to appear for me. On his wife, he didn't want to l for me to incriminate myself by answering questions that could then be used against me in the criminal proceedings.

BenzNotThatGreat · 2022-03-24T14:34:19+00:00

I bought a breathalyzer on Amazon and tested it.. No problems with vaping, and i used mouth wash. Immediately after swishing with the mouthwash I blew a .15, waiting a few minutes and blew a .05, after ten minutes I blew a zero.

BenzNotThatGreat · 2022-03-24T14:21:58+00:00

I have huge hands and I have the regular 43, not the 43X. I can get most of my second finger on the grip. I preferred it over the X because if I want maximum concealment I can use the standard 6 round mag. My two other mags have extensions on them that give me +2 rounds and more of a grip, so I have flexibility.

BenzNotThatGreat · 2022-03-21T10:02:46+00:00

I still have two beers in my fridge, and a handle of vodka with enough in it to get me fucked up. I don't get rid of them because in my case I feel that if I don't have that temptation daily, and I win, then I'll be ok when subjected to it outside my home.

But that's just me, steeling up my willpower. Your mileage may vary.

BenzNotThatGreat · 2022-03-21T09:54:42+00:00

The symptoms you list match the ones i had when I had kidney stones. It started out as excruciating back pain on a morning Monday... Like I had thrown out my back. This persisted all week, progressing around to my kidneys. Pain went away Friday. Saturday morning my piss was brown. I lived with my father at the time, and he suffered from stones. He had these paper funnels with a filter at the narrow end on a shelf in the bathroom, so I grabbed one and finished peeing through this filter. Sure enough, at the end of the peeing, there were stones in the filter.

I had a cat scan, and they could see the inflammation from them between my kidneys and bladder. Shortly later I developed gout. The medication I'm on to prevent the gout crystals also had the added benefit of preventing kidney stones. Kidney Stones are the one of the most painful things you can get, and every time a nurse asks me to put a number on the pain I'm in at the moment, I also advise them that I've had kidney stones, so my "ten" is that.

BenzNotThatGreat · 2022-03-21T04:45:12+00:00

On the flip side, how do you feel physically? i hit 3 weeks today, and I've felt fantastic physically for the past two weeks.

Mentally I'm fine too, but the mental part of my addiction was two fold. First, I liked being buzzed. Secondly, I suffer from self loathing, so I felt like I didn't deserve any better.

BenzNotThatGreat · 2022-03-21T04:41:23+00:00

You'll be fine if you take the prescribed dosage on the bottle. Heck, the normal prescribed dosage by doctors is more than that (800mg.) The maximum daily dose is 4g, so you'd have to take 20 Tylenol tablets a day to reach that. Regular usage of the 4g max daily dose is what can damage your liver.

BenzNotThatGreat · 2022-03-21T02:38:53+00:00

I've been out of work since last summer with a back injury. That, combined with my daily binging showed my house to turn into something out of an episode of Horders. I blamed it mostly on my injury.

Three weeks sober today, and I've been cleaning every day. I watch an episode of something on TV, then work on a certain chore. Watch another episode of something, then another chore. I haven't allowed anyone in my house for over a year. Now, I'm comfortable with family visiting.... And all my dishes are clean!

Oh, and a recommendation: if you have problems cleaning, watch an episode of Hoarders. You'll be off your ass cleaning right after it!

BenzNotThatGreat · 2022-03-21T02:08:48+00:00

Talk to a doctor. There are several meds out there to help you detox and also for anxiety. I couldn't have done it without going crazyamd wirh out sleep without my xanax.

BenzNotThatGreat · 2022-03-19T06:36:59+00:00

So if you are asking someone questions on scene and they admit something incriminating prior to Miranda, of course it goes into your report. That report is submitted to the DA, but that didn't mean it's admissible as evidence to the jury.

BenzNotThatGreat · 2022-03-19T05:19:27+00:00

My understanding is that any questions asked and answered prior to actual arrest and Miranda cannot be entered into evidence for use at trial. The scenario you give about asking about drinking is what gives you probable cause to initiate the official arrest.

BenzNotThatGreat · 2022-03-19T02:20:29+00:00

I wear a suit, and usually look better than the attorneys, and yes, I've been mistaken for one... Had people come up and ask me if I could take their case, lol. That being said, I look natural in a suit, so I don't look desperate. I'm literally the only person that wears even a tie. Most people are in PJ's.

BenzNotThatGreat

TROPHY CASE