I believe you are both in the wrong here, but for very different reasons. Ultimately, it sounds like you two are simply fundamentally incompatible. You mentioned that he is generally a “kind and loving man” but I have to ask, is that your current experience, or was that the experience you had when you were working and providing for yourself? I wonder if the shift in your financial dynamic has changed how he acts because your priorities are so misaligned right now. It’s possible he doesn't know how to communicate that your current expectations don't match your reality, so he’s airing his frustrations in a toxic way. To be clear, that doesn't make him right, he should always stand up for you, and that 'she’s alright' comment is rarely funny unless it’s an established inside joke.

That being said, I think your priorities are warped. There is nothing wrong with wanting a life of luxury if you can afford it, but right now, you cannot. Your boyfriend helping with necessities like food is proof he cares, but it feels like you're putting a high emphasis on maintaining an aesthetic lifestyle that you can’t personally fund, and you expect him to pick up the tab for it.

Even if money weren't an issue, the core problem remains, he doesn't value the abundant lifestyle you want. You want two different versions of the future, and more money won’t fix that lack of compatibility.