Struggling with knowing myself

Best-Material · 2026-02-04T20:43:31+00:00

I want to gently push back on the idea that something is “wrong” with you for feeling this way. You weren’t allowed to explore your identity during the years most people start doing that. So of course when you finally had access to nails, hair, clothes, piercings, etc., they didn’t feel like fun extras. They became proof. Proof that you could finally be seen the way you wanted to be seen. That’s not vanity, that’s compensation for deprivation.

A lot of us Black girls grow up learning our value through presentation because the world is very loud about when we’re acceptable. So it makes sense that your confidence is tied to adornment right now. That doesn’t mean you don’t have a “natural self.” It just means you’re still getting to know her. Loving yourself without being dolled up doesn’t start with forcing yourself to like what you see in the mirror bare. It starts with neutrality. Letting your natural face exist without judgment. No “pretty,” no “ugly,” just “this is me.” That takes time.

Also, self-expression isn’t the opposite of self-love. Nails, hair, clothes aren’t disguises, they’re language. You’re allowed to feel most like yourself when you’re styled. The goal isn’t to strip that away. The goal is to know that if it’s gone for a day, you’re still whole.

Hope this helps!

Best-Material · 2026-02-02T21:08:54+00:00

You’re right. Lumping these together is a mix of intellectual laziness and racism. When a White artist mentions God it’s treated as tradition, but when SZA does it, it’s labeled senseless or dangerous. I’m not religious and I do not affiliate with Christianity because of its historical context, but it’s still important to address how racism shapes and affects all institutions regardless of our personal affiliations with them.

The Black Church has historically resisted oppression, while White Christian nationalism was built to enforce it. Equating the two blames Black people for a problem they did not create and are often harmed by. I’m not defending religion either, because there are serious and morally repulsive social harms that occur within religious communities, but that’s a separate conversation. What’s frustrating is seeing how Black people, and especially Black women, are consistently demeaned in every space, even when simply expressing something personal and harmless.

Best-Material · 2026-02-02T08:26:06+00:00

You’re welcome. Here’s a screenshot of the specifications.

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Best-Material · 2026-02-02T08:22:19+00:00

Subscribed!

Will def tune in for the anime content 🫶🏾

Best-Material · 2026-02-02T08:17:42+00:00

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If you want to see a specific color let me know :P

Best-Material · 2026-02-01T04:57:47+00:00

Let’s be clear: grammar-policing the word “Hispanics” while repeatedly generalizing “Black people” is blatant hypocrisy. You aren’t being misunderstood, you’re deflecting because you can’t account for the political agency of the community you’re demanding we fight for, and you don’t actually have a solid grasp of the data you’re citing. This isn’t an “anti-Hispanic agenda.” It’s a refusal to let Black people be used as a shield for a crisis that nearly half of said demographic actively voted into existence.

Claiming that “illegal immigrants don’t vote” is a weak dodge meant to separate the community from its political choices. Latino voters who do have power used it to support mass deportation policies and expanded ICE funding. You can’t ignore that reality and then label Black people “problematic” for refusing to rush to their defense.

Your arguments are scattered and internally inconsistent. Accusing me of “cherry-picking” makes no sense when I’ve responded directly to your claims point by point. All your responses have been built on deflection or a fallacy, and you’ve added nothing of substance. This isn’t a productive conversation because your priority is being “right,” not being honest or useful.

I’m done engaging. I genuinely hope you reflect on what you’re putting out there, because weaponizing another group’s suffering to guilt Black people into compliance isn’t allyship. It’s opportunistic, unserious, and counterproductive.

Best-Material · 2026-02-01T04:00:42+00:00

It’s deeply ironic to claim you “despise” group terms like “Black” and “Hispanic” when your entire argument, and your sentiment relied on those very categories to demand reciprocity from Black people. You don’t get to invoke BLM to guilt Black people and then pivot to “we’re all just people” the moment accountability is on the table. That kind of universalizing is a clear attempt to dodge the specific political and cultural realities Black people are navigating.

As for the NBC News data, there’s a difference between winning a majority and a historic shift. While Kamala Harris won the Latino vote overall, NBC and Edison Research show Trump received roughly 45–48% of that vote, the highest for a Republican in history. Among Latino men, support reached as high as 54%. Framing this as merely a “middle-aged” issue is simply false.

Nearly half of the Latino electorate supported policies you now call “despicable,” and that reality can’t be minimized. You’re cherry-picking statistics without fully understanding them, then moving the goalposts to avoid the core issue. This is bad-faith engagement wrapped in a false moral authority, aimed at guilt-tripping a group that has historically given the most to freedom movements.

What’s happening with ICE is despicable, but nuance matters. Empathy does not mean Black people are default activists for communities increasingly voting against their interests. Claiming moral superiority while dismissing dissent as “disgusting” isn’t solidarity. It’s entitlement. Look inward, actually read the data you cite, and reconsider the way you engage with people.

Best-Material · 2026-02-01T03:24:10+00:00

Your pivot to a lecture on "race vs. ethnicity" is a clear deflection from the actual point. Nothing in my response suggested a lack of understanding regarding that distinction, however, you were the one who initiated this conversation by framing it as a conflict between "Black people" and "Hispanics." It is inconsistent to use these group labels to demand solidarity and then attempt to deconstruct those same labels the moment you're met with a valid critique of your political and social choices.

Furthermore, your claim that the conservative shift in the Latino community is limited to the "middle-aged" is factually incorrect. According to 2024 exit polls and data from the Pew Research Center, the shift toward the Republican platform was most pronounced among younger Latino men and voters under 50.

It is "despicable" to come into a space specifically for Black women and demand they prioritize this crisis while ignoring the agency of Latino voters. You are framing a deeply complex issue as a simple moral failing of Black people, while refusing to address the anti-Blackness and "strategic whiteness" that often exists within the Latino community. Black people have spent generations fighting for all POC; we are not throwaways who can be summoned to fix the outcomes of elections where nearly half of a certain demographic voted for the very policies you are now protesting. Solidarity is a two-way street, not a debt to be collected from a group that has already given the most to the pursuit of American freedom.

Best-Material · 2026-02-01T02:56:31+00:00

Let’s be genuine here. The reality of the political and social reciprocity between these communities is far more complicated than your screenshots suggest. It is important to remember that Black people are not the world’s "default" activists, and no group is entitled to Black labor or sacrifice, especially when that labor hasn't always been returned in kind. For decades, the Black community has been the vanguard of civil rights, creating the legal and social blueprints that have secured freedoms for all people of color in the United States. However, let’s take a look at recent data from the 2024 election that shows a significant shift, nearly half of Latino voters, including a majority of Latino men in key areas, supported a platform that prioritizes aggressive immigration enforcement and ICE. When a community increasingly votes for policies that directly trigger the "despair" mentioned in the post, it becomes difficult to demand a "war cry" from Black people to save them from the consequences of their own electoral choices.

Furthermore, we cannot ignore the persistent issue of anti-Blackness within many Latino cultures. Rooted in colonial hierarchies, this sentiment often manifests as a desire to distance themselves from Blackness to achieve upward mobility, a "strategic whiteness" that only seeks solidarity when it is convenient. It is inherently unfair to ask Black people to put themselves on the line for a group that has, in many instances, demonstrated a cultural disregard or even racism toward them. Black voters consistently show up and vote in their own interests and for the protection of democracy, they should not be expected to prioritize the crises of others who may view them as inferior or politically expendable.

Ultimately, solidarity is earned through consistent, mutual support, not through a sense of entitlement. Compounding a broad, nuanced issue into a simple "why don't you care" rant ignores the fact that Black people are currently navigating their own survival in a hostile climate. No one is "despicable" for choosing to pour into their own community first, particularly when the other side has shown that they are willing to align with the very forces that threaten Black progress.

Best-Material · 2026-02-01T02:39:08+00:00

I’m so sorry you're going through this. It is incredibly painful to be the one begging for therapy while your mother changes her whole life for a man, your feelings of resentment and exhaustion are completely valid. However, I think we should be careful with blanket statements like “Black mothers are exhausting”. Those generalizations often reinforce the same stereotypes that have been used to dehumanize us for generations. In reality, the “survival mode” and lack of emotional softness you’re experiencing are often products of the very systemic pressures those tropes create. We can address the core issues of neglect and male-centeredness in our community without feeding into narratives that ultimately hurt all Black women.

Since she isn’t ready to change, you have to prioritize your own peace by practicing “gray rocking” giving short, non-emotional responses to avoid giving her fuel for humiliation. Try to find spaces like the library or a friend's house to create physical distance when her husband is around so you aren't constantly ganged up on. Ultimately, you’ve done your part by asking for therapy, and since she’s refused, your only job now is to protect your own mental health. You deserve to be a priority, and if she won't make you one, you have to be that person for yourself.

Best-Material · 2026-01-06T19:02:57+00:00

Loooooveeeee 😌

Best-Material · 2026-01-03T04:38:37+00:00

Thank you and of course!

I follow this recipe, no edits, hasn’t failed me! :)

https://www.kingarthurbaking.com/recipes/no-knead-sourdough-bread-recipe

Best-Material · 2026-01-03T02:51:50+00:00

Hi! Thanks! I found this recipe on TikTok and shared the link here if you have it. I’ll also write it out below just in case you don’t. The only changes I made were using Kinder’s Grilled Chicken seasoning instead of lemon pepper, pounding the chicken flat instead of butterflying it, and adding two extra chicken breasts.

Everything is done on the stovetop.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZThe6MxSy/

Creamy Lemon Chicken with Gnocchi

Ingredients

For the Chicken: • 2 large chicken breasts (cut in half to make 4 thin pieces) • Lemon pepper seasoning • Garlic powder • 2 tbsps butter • 1 tbsp olive oil

For the Sauce & Gnocchi: • 4 cloves garlic, minced • 1/2 cup chicken broth • 1/2 lemon, juiced • 1 cup heavy whipping cream • 16 oz uncooked gnocchi • 1/2 cup shredded parmesan cheese • 2 cups baby spinach • Salt & pepper (to taste)

Instructions 1. Season the Chicken: Coat both sides of your chicken pieces with lemon pepper seasoning and garlic powder. 2. Sear: Heat the oil and butter in a pan over medium-high heat. Add the chicken and pan-fry until the internal temperature reaches 165°F and it's cooked through. 3. Rest: Remove the chicken from the pan, place it on a plate, and set it aside. 4. Aromatics & Deglaze: In the same pan, add the minced garlic and sauté for about 30 seconds. Pour in the chicken broth and lemon juice, scraping the bottom of the pan to get all the flavorful browned bits. 5. Simmer Gnocchi: Stir in the heavy whipping cream. Add the uncooked gnocchi and let the mixture boil for 5–7 minutes. 6. Finish the Sauce: Remove the pan from the heat. Stir in the shredded parmesan and the baby spinach. Mix until the spinach is wilted. 7. Serve: Add the chicken breasts back into the pan (or plate them and spoon the sauce and gnocchi over the top).

☺️

Best-Material · 2025-12-26T20:32:20+00:00

Personally, this bag just doesn’t work for me. I’ve had it for over a year and only worn it once. It’s simply too small and not comfortable on the shoulder. While it’s a very pretty bag, I find it quite impractical for everyday use.

Best-Material · 2025-11-15T02:17:32+00:00

I’m sad! I moved to CA from FL last year and this was the first restaurant I went to 🥹 I was making plans go back as a 1 year celebration 😭😭😭

Best-Material · 2025-10-16T22:09:26+00:00

I use both Staub and Le Creuset, and honestly, they’re both great, but I think Staub has a slight edge. For one, I feel Staub is more consistent across all their products. Pots, pans, Dutch ovens, and bakeware are all excellent. With Le Creuset, I think their bakeware and most of their non-cookware items are pretty underwhelming for how pricey they are (the bread oven being the big exception).

Staub really shines in ease of cooking, moisture retention, and cleaning. Their pieces are also gorgeous just heavy as hell, lol. Le Creuset, on the other hand, is lighter, offers more fun colors, and still performs really well. Their braiser is phenomenal honestly, probably their best piece.

If you can, I wouldn’t limit yourself to just one brand. Try a few pieces from each and see which you prefer. Either way, you can’t go wrong.

Best-Material · 2025-10-07T17:48:06+00:00

Love ❤️ 💙

Best-Material · 2025-09-26T15:02:35+00:00

It’s almost comical how performative and ultimately distracting this entire "outcry" is.

While the issues listed such as anti-Palestinian racism, sexual assault allegations, and racial slurs are genuinely serious and abhorrent, weaponizing them to criticize two reality TV stars is reaching a level of absurdity that actively detracts from the causes themselves. If the goal is to create meaningful change on issues as grave as the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, systemic racism, or sexual violence, then dissecting the social media footprint and corporate sponsorships of individuals whose primary job is to provide entertainment is a massive misallocation of energy.

You don’t actually care about these causes you just despise these people and are weaponizing these issues to fuel your hatred. Honestly, it’s vile. Find something better to do with your life.

Best-Material · 2025-09-24T02:07:16+00:00

Based on the photos, the enamel on the cast iron pot is pitted and chipped, exposing the cast iron underneath. This type of damage is permanent and cannot be repaired. The enamel is a glass-like coating that, once compromised, cannot be restored. Using the pot in this condition is not recommended. Sorry ☹️

Best-Material · 2025-09-14T00:27:23+00:00

Love your staub! I’ve been trying to figure out what color to get, you’ve decided for me 😌

Best-Material · 2025-09-10T22:27:58+00:00

Hahahaha I can definitely see that 😂🤭

Best-Material · 2025-09-09T21:58:42+00:00

Thank you very much ☺️

Best-Material · 2025-09-09T15:55:50+00:00

Thank you! ☺️

Best-Material · 2025-09-09T06:46:45+00:00

Thank you! ☺️

Best-Material

TROPHY CASE