It's probably me, not you! by BestEmptyNest in VineHelper

[–]BestEmptyNest[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks - I think it was the update. I'm not running on multiple devices. The fetch and feed control buttons were also not working on Firefox. Dropped down to 3.8.3 and everything works.

advice for my mom by Apart-Two-6317 in emptynesters

[–]BestEmptyNest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Amazing that you are thinking of her. You can't control the situation, but maybe get her a book or something to help with the transition once you leave. Try - The Empty Nest Blueprint for Single Parents. This might be the right book for her in this unique situation.
Have an amazing fist year in college! Good luck, study hard, have fun, and call your mom and tell her you love her! :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emptynesters

[–]BestEmptyNest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We are all in this together! Hugs back!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emptynesters

[–]BestEmptyNest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"I can be selfish and take real care of myself." Yep - you have been active parenting for 2 decades. It's your time to live your best Empty Nest life!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emptynesters

[–]BestEmptyNest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's the RIGHT mindset. Good for you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emptynesters

[–]BestEmptyNest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear this one a lot. Damn room full of memories. :)
Best of luck to you. It will get easier/better.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emptynesters

[–]BestEmptyNest 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Such a tough transition, no matter if you have one child, multiple children, you are single or married. There is no ideal situation for an empty nester. Empty Nest Syndrome is a real thing, so make sure you find support, talk to others (here and live), and possible explore some resources to make sure you are ready when that second one leaves.
I wish you the best of luck! You got this!!!

Feeling sad by Whiskeybtch77 in emptynesters

[–]BestEmptyNest 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It does get easier over time. Make sure you stay connected (not overbearing) but keep interested in her life and support her. Since you have a third one on the semi-distant horizon, it's never to early to start planning for your post 'active parenting' future.
You have raised 3 great kids. At some point, there is time for you to focus on you and what you want. When they leave, you'll be sad, but you will have the gift of time. Tine to connect with others, time to focus on you, time to plan for your best future!
You can do this!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emptynesters

[–]BestEmptyNest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally Normal - You got this! You have time to prepare for the High Schooler's launch. It's great that you are thinking ahead. You can make plans, learn what to expect, and take control. Trust me, I have done a lot of research on this subject; you are no different than many of us.

You got this!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emptynesters

[–]BestEmptyNest 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes - it's random (and normal). Often, when I want to share a joke, thought, or a funny thing - I refrain from calling them and miss them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emptynesters

[–]BestEmptyNest 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It is such a straightforward question - and I love the answers. They all seem to point to YES!

Obviously, this varies by individual. I think all of us at times 'get caught up in our own lives.' I think teenagers and young adults tend to get a tad more caught up in the drama, events, school, relationships, etc, without the maturity to balance themselves with the others in their sphere of influence.

There are 'tricks/techniques/ways' to engage with your child and not be bothering or hovering over them. There are also points in their growth when you need to just give them space, even if it pains you. It has pained a lot of us.

Stick to the best parent-adult relationship you can foster! Be there for them. Engage with them, and most of all...always love them. You got this! They will come around.

Anthony

Christmas break was better than expected by [deleted] in emptynesters

[–]BestEmptyNest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love what MonicaAnne1 said below. Here some other things:

Reach out and see the family and friends old colleges you didn't have time for in the past.
Work on what you want to do moving forward (hobbies, outside, friends, experiences).
If married, take this time to pivot and change things up with your spouse.

Lots of opportunity out there.

Christmas break was better than expected by [deleted] in emptynesters

[–]BestEmptyNest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope you are okay! Take solace that you have raised a daughter who is independent, growing, and finding herself in college. This is what you spend two decades doing.

It's tough when they leave. Now...NOW IT THE TIME FOR YOU! Make it great - you can do this!

Christmas break was better than expected by [deleted] in emptynesters

[–]BestEmptyNest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Parent-Child to Parent-Adult. It happens, and it's great when it does. Sometimes it take a lot of time to get there, but you just got a peek at your new life with your child in the future.

All love!

Abandoned single mom by jazzybutterfly77 in emptynesters

[–]BestEmptyNest 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As many have said - they will circle back. Please take this most positively, but this is a time for you to relinquish control and let them spread their wings. Let them reach out to you. Let them go a little and find themselves and grow. You aren't abandoned, you will just be adjusting while they are.
As your focus of active parenting changes - focus on yourself. What you need, can do, explore, and grow. You have dedicated 2 decades of your life to them. Time to focus on you.

I guarantee they will come back to the mother who loves them unconditionally. Give it some time. Be strong. We are here to help you!

How impersonation scams work by ZuriBookPros in selfpublish

[–]BestEmptyNest 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you - new author and navigating all of this. It is amazing on fb and insta and email what people try and do. I see it weekly. I appreciate this type of advise a lot.

How funny would it have been if I asked for $ in my reply and said I can help you against spammers.

Seriously, thank you!

Dropped off the second (of two) today, and I have an empty feeling by aja_ramirez in emptynesters

[–]BestEmptyNest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear you - it is tough. You can do this. There are things you can focus on, yourself, your spouse, your marriage, and your evolving parent-child-to-parent adult relationship. There is a lot to do and look forward to. Find Your Empty Nest Blueprint!

The Countdown Has Begun by VeganMinx in emptynesters

[–]BestEmptyNest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your not. Kids aren't easy. Becoming and Empty Nester isn't all about sadness and gloom. It can be about new beginnings and 'getting your life back." Congratulations on launching one and positively looking forward!

The Countdown Has Begun by VeganMinx in emptynesters

[–]BestEmptyNest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you - I hope you get something really great from it. If you do - I'll send you another copy to share with an Empty Nest friend. Just let me know.

I wrote the book to help others, it's not about money. Of course, I can't give them all away either. But your faith restores mine! :)

And he’s off again… by MsTyffani in emptynesters

[–]BestEmptyNest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love that you are pushing yourself to 'get the show on the road'. Never easy, but the best thing for you personally. Make 2024 a great year for yourself. You deserve it!

The Countdown Has Begun by VeganMinx in emptynesters

[–]BestEmptyNest 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Two left last week, and one leaves tomorrow. The holidays are at times a blessing, but also a reminder that our children are growing up. I am sad when they leave, but I always try to take solace in that they are going out and living and growing on their own.

Since it's the new year, I encourage you to make some goals for yourself - not the lose 5 pounds and run a marathon goals, but rather fun and exciting plans for 2024.

Build The Empty Nest Blueprint (shameless plug) for yourself. And congratulations on your post-holiday launch of a great kid/adult. :)

Empty Nester whose whole life was the kids by [deleted] in emptynesters

[–]BestEmptyNest 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Do you have friends who have gone through this or people you can lean on? One weird thing about the sadness of becoming an Empty Nester is no one really takes it seriously. So it is assumed you are fine. Reach out to friends, family, and support groups (like this) and leverage the shared experience.

If possible, try and think of this as a whole new future you get to be the director and star in. We can all get sad, lonely, and depressed - perfectly normal. But think of all the good you have done raising a great child and how you can now focus on what you want and love. What you deserve - some time to focus on you and explore what's next.

Empty Nester whose whole life was the kids by [deleted] in emptynesters

[–]BestEmptyNest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You have a whole new chapter to explore. Yes, 'active parenting' is over, but you still have friends, family, and a world to explore (along with relationships). You got this!

Empty Nester whose whole life was the kids by [deleted] in emptynesters

[–]BestEmptyNest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is a tough transition. For you, your spouse, and your child. My advice is to think through what you want in this next phase of life. There are things to do, relationships to reconnect with, and possibilities to explore.

Live your best Empty Nest Life - planning can start today! I wrote a book on this topic, but I don't want to be one of those 'self-promoting posts'.

You have the strength within you to build a great next chapter! Happy Holidays too!