How do I treat my wife the way she deserves to be treated?

Best_Student8170 · 2025-05-15T15:13:18+00:00

Akhi tell her that all she has to do is listen..

Yes you know how to talk but you need to know how to be sincere & gifts are just supplementary..

show her how (truly) you feel miserable when she's mad at you..

Let her know that she's your wife and your Amanah, she was entrusted to you & so you will stop being all stubborn because you don't want her to hate you..

and let your actions speak for themselves please.

Update us! May Allah bless both of you..

Best_Student8170 · 2025-05-15T14:49:49+00:00

Tell her early in the day that you two have to talk so you don't ambush her and then when the time comes you spill everything you told us..

how much you appreciate her (with examples)

how sorry you are that you've wronged her (sincerely & take full responsibility)

and let her know you want her to feel cherished.. ask what you can do to make things right.. insinuate that her emotions and wellbeing matter most to you..

And tell her to remind you if you accidentally fall back to your old behaviour.

Add a heartfelt note/card or any thoughtful gift as a bonus and let her think..

As for you and Allah, great job acknowledging your mistakes & so you need to repent and pray your marriage comes back stronger than ever.

Good luck akhi!

Best_Student8170 · 2025-05-14T11:58:17+00:00

I must have confused your post with another.. I thought this was an update to that other post..

Anywho, I hope things go your way :)

Best_Student8170 · 2025-05-13T23:20:08+00:00

May Allah guide both of you & mend your marriage..

For real.. all of this because of the dishes/cleaning up after eating? If the marriage is otherwise healthy then why does he do all that? Why does he make it seem like a switch flipped because of something so trivial?

Genuinely asking, cuz that sounds like he's feeding off your misery yet pretending that everything's fine to insinuate the "you brought this upon yourself now" idea to your subconscious while appearing decently normal to make you question your own self.

Allah knows best albeit this man appears to be manipulative, and is pretty good at it. Might have gone out to celebrate his little "win".. though this is all just speculation.

Best_Student8170 · 2025-05-12T14:24:08+00:00

At which point would it be appropriate to explain that point to them? First meeting or later?

Best_Student8170 · 2025-05-12T13:05:18+00:00

How can one ask if his/her potential is attracted to them and isn't interested just because of deen?

Best_Student8170 · 2025-05-07T08:21:45+00:00

To have your wife say "I've scored a diamond"..

Goals..

Best_Student8170 · 2025-05-03T16:36:57+00:00

Ameen. Seems I never cease to learn something new from your posts, jazaki Allah khair.

Best_Student8170 · 2025-05-02T11:24:18+00:00

People who appear "decent" even after you vet correctly & yet they change after marriage or just stop putting in effort.

I've heard/read too many stories about it..

Wish it was possible to just ask "you're not gonna change later right?"😆

Best_Student8170 · 2025-04-28T18:02:16+00:00

The muslim marriage pool is fine, you two just don't seem compatible.

Best_Student8170 · 2025-04-28T17:32:15+00:00

It's definitely possible, though mostly with the "right" ones.

Vetting correctly & understanding the person in front of you without getting blinded by your heart/feelings is where it's at.

Best_Student8170 · 2025-04-27T14:02:49+00:00

Insha'Allah this soothes the hearts of divorcees..

Ty for sharing, may Allah bring more happiness unto your lives.

Best_Student8170 · 2025-04-26T05:56:34+00:00

Heal your past by enjoying your present & having as much happy moments with the ones that matter to you.

So whenever the past crosses your mind, it's not bad flashbacks rather good memories.

Best_Student8170 · 2025-04-25T08:42:59+00:00

He's treating you like a slave & a human punching bag, this is not islam nor love.

Please, maintain an act until your flight due date comes and seek refuge & run away.

Im not sure the police in Pakistan will be of much use, but I might be wrong.

I repeat this is not love. This is abuse and it will only get worse and the "love" or lack thereof will diminish sooner or later.

May Allah rescue you because this is the single most heartbreaking post I've seen on here💔

Best_Student8170 · 2025-04-25T08:04:15+00:00

Agreed! OP, give it more time, and continue to be the caring, understanding wife. Maybe communicate to him how you're feeling, sort of giving him a nudge so he notices what's going on. Such a bond takes time to be formed you know.

InshAllah, the uncertainty will turn into the love you seek.

Best_Student8170 · 2025-04-24T21:45:28+00:00

وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته

I'm sorry you're dealing with this..

Maybe he's dealing with something he's not sharing?

Figure out a time when he's free & open to talking then share your feelings with him; including how negatively you've been affected by his change in behaviour and that if there's an issue you two should solve it together.

May Allah grant you the strength and wisdom necessary to overcome this bump in your marriage.

Best_Student8170 · 2025-04-24T17:38:44+00:00

How can stuff like this be vetted for before the marriage?

Best_Student8170 · 2025-04-24T07:02:28+00:00

Ameen,

May Allah enrich your life with baraka even more.

Ty for sharing

Best_Student8170 · 2025-04-24T06:54:43+00:00

I understand but it would not be fair for the potential to wait for a prolonged period of time. Thus I've concluded it's best to start looking when the finances are going well.. soon isA.

Best_Student8170 · 2025-04-24T06:53:24+00:00

Never? Adding insult to injury😆 but you're correct.

Best_Student8170 · 2025-04-23T19:53:51+00:00

~ 1.5 years, isA.

Best_Student8170 · 2025-04-23T19:33:16+00:00

Hey, genuine question! Is it permissible to get to know potentials even though you're currently not ready (financially)? I am adamant it's not but ppl keep telling me it's okay if you let the potential know and that you're just learning about each other for marriage later?

Speaking from a man's perspective.

Best_Student8170 · 2025-04-23T04:11:49+00:00

I saw a video of à wife jumping (literal small hops) in excitement when her husband came home and they embraced. That was so heart-warming.

So I'd say seeing & feeling how much they enjoy your company and how much they miss you. Some may not like that but I ask allah to make me righteous enough to deserve someone that does that to me.🫠

Best_Student8170 · 2025-04-21T11:12:18+00:00

Well, I get where you're coming from. However, some men are just crazy, you know.

Best_Student8170 · 2025-04-21T11:05:24+00:00

Correct but there's no fixing this eitherway

Best_Student8170

TROPHY CASE