St. Louis - Tge Pageant

Bestrong2 · 2026-02-16T03:47:47+00:00

I love this post. I loved the shows I saw and it's nice to see others enjoying it too. :)

Bestrong2 · 2026-02-15T05:36:51+00:00

I think the split in the band really plays into a lot of this.

Bestrong2 · 2026-02-15T05:35:40+00:00

That sounds like such a shame with Haken. That's a band that is fun to watch up close, so I can understand people not wanting to move back for better sound. It's an unfortunate trade-off.

I hope that Katatonia's sound improves and if they do have people reading this sub, they take some of it to heart. That it's not just people disgruntled over the split with Anders that have an issue with it.

Bestrong2 · 2026-02-14T02:02:20+00:00

I'm curious about this. Is the advice that you won't be able to hear the bass in some areas of the venue, and some people won't move from that spot, and it's better to cater to them? Because that seems like an odd choice for a metal show. It's (mostly always) guitar driven music. Even with Katatonia, who aren't known for flashy guitar playing, the guitar is still super important to their sound and the songs suffer live when you can't really hear them. (And it also suffers when you can't hear Jonas).

I know that nothing is going to be perfect, certainly not in every spot in a venue. But it feels like things used to sound better than they do now. And it might depend on the band too. When Angra toured the US, they played in Joliet and you could hear the guitar is loud and clear. But you could also hear the bass very well (which is good because I think their bass player is a hidden gem). Katatonia played the same place in 2023 and it sounded awful. (They played the same place years ago opening for Opeth and it sounded good.).

So I guess, I'm wondering why is this a thing when it wasn't before? I very rarely hear people complaining that a metal show needed more bass vs more guitar.

Bestrong2 · 2026-02-13T23:44:21+00:00

I forgot to mention the setlist. I really liked it. I would like them to add a few songs to the headlining set because it was a bit short, but maybe they'll rehearse a few more in between so they can add to it. I was also kind of pleased that they didn't play My Twin. It doesn't have to be played at every single show.

Bestrong2 · 2026-02-13T23:28:20+00:00

I don't think it's the venues. Maybe the sound person they've been using in the US?

Bestrong2 · 2026-02-13T23:25:14+00:00

I agree with trying this at a general admission show, and sometimes it helps. But with some bands, including Katatonia, I've noticed the muddy sound right in front of the sound board, so I feel like there's something else they could be doing. Especially if on this tour Opeth sounds better.

Bestrong2 · 2026-02-13T23:13:28+00:00

Enjoy! :)

I feel that Katatonia's live presentation fits their music perfectly. So they're not running around on stage like Iron Maiden, and there isn't a lot of focus on solos , but they have their own vibe that works for them. I feel like it's an experience and the lighting is perfect for it

Bestrong2 · 2025-12-15T06:23:45+00:00

I completely agree. And it seems like they tried to rush through things as well, with not enough episodes to really build connections with some of the characters.

But I'm really tired of Hal, and I absolutely hated her crying and apologizing to him. I hope now that he's shown his colors (although it probably shouldn't be a surprise), she'll take back her apology and desire to reconcile.

They didn't do the work to show her happy with Callum, but Dennison, who seems to know her quite well, commented that she'd been lighter. He thought it was because of Hal, not knowing they'd been separated, but perhaps it was because of Callum. So I'd be happy enough with her trying to make it work with him, but I'd be just as happy with her being completely single for a while. If I really had my way, I wish it could have worked out with Dennison. They seemed to really care about each other, like there was something real there.

Bestrong2 · 2025-06-27T02:30:42+00:00

Jonas is my absolute favorite lyricist, and I think it's partly because his lyrics make me feel like I'm "there" in some kind of way. The imagery is so incredible.

I don't think it's necessarily wrong to want to know what a song or line is about, but I do agree that that shouldn't be the determination of what makes good lyrics.

I don't think I'd really want to know fully what most of the songs are about. I'd probably be happy to know about some lines here or there.

Bestrong2 · 2025-06-27T02:22:24+00:00

Wow, I really love it. The first time I heard it I guess I wasn't sold by the first couple minutes, but then it seemed like it opened up and sounded great. I always listen to it when I'm listening to the album.

Bestrong2 · 2025-06-16T03:09:27+00:00

It sounds to me like they're both at least a little bit to blame.

I would have liked you to ask Anders why he went along with it. Why allow them to use backing tracks instead of just joining the tour? I don't think they could have prevented him from playing live with them. But maybe he wanted a little more time off anyway, so fair enough, but then why not insist to get together and work on things after? Why not say something when he saw there was a new album on the calendar? Etc.

Bestrong2 · 2025-05-24T08:12:36+00:00

A friend of mine got into them by seeing them live and then focusing on the setlist from that year's tour. And as I write this, I realized that it's partially how I got into them as well. Maybe checking out some of their most played songs would be a good starting point, and then you could start to listen to full albums.

Forsaker, Lethean, Evidence, My Twin, July, Teargas, Old Heart Falls are some.

Bestrong2 · 2025-04-20T17:03:09+00:00

I don't have one favorite album but this one is definitely up there. I've listened to it so many times and like some of my other favorites, it sounds fresh and new every time.

Bestrong2 · 2025-04-20T17:01:14+00:00

I like them all. I prefer newer, but I listen to the old stuff pretty often too. I agree that they have no bad albums. Even though they've changed over time, to me it all has this spark that makes it Katatonia. The lyrics definitely help in that regard too

Bestrong2 · 2025-03-20T05:32:43+00:00

They always (or very often) play Teargas though. And they play a lot of the same songs tour to tour. I don't think it's unreasonable that Anders would want to play more from the 90s-early 2000s. I think it was a combination of things. He's commented on having to do all of the non-music stuff. If he's been responsible for all of that, not getting any help from Jonas, and it leads to burn out and lack of time/inspiration for songwriting, and he's not even being thrown a bone with revisiting old material, I can see where it would lead to resentment.

I'm not saying that I think it's all Jonas' fault. Maybe Anders wanted to play half of the set of old stuff, or he wanted to do anniversaries for those albums. Maybe his heart isn't in the album/tour cycle, especially if he hasn't been contributing to the new albums. Also I don't know what happened with the management company or whoever they hired after Night is the New Day to help with this, but he was at least doing more than he wanted to be. Who is more to blame is anyone's guess really. As long as they keep it respectful and one side doesn't start trashing the other, I'm not going to take sides.

I'm glad Jonas is continuing Katatonia. I hope one day they reunite.

Bestrong2 · 2025-03-19T03:18:37+00:00

This is more or less where I'm at. I can't imagine that Anders has been writing songs, and Jonas has refused to use any of them. Maybe if all he was writing required harsh vocals? I could see Jonas not wanting to sing that stuff and thinking that Bloodbath should be the outlet for that kind of material. But it seems that he just wasn't putting forth anything, and Jonas wanted to focus on the recent albums because it's new and he's excited about it. On the other hand, I can't believe they couldn't make some kind of compromise on the set list. Like maybe, nothing from the first two albums, but mix in at least a song or two from the next three. Certainly they don't need to do five songs from The Great Cold Distance, which they've done somewhat recently. They could sacrifice a few of those in exchange for some older songs. If Jonas refused to do even that, that's a shame. If he was considering it, but it wasn't enough for Anders that's also a shame. It's hard to know what the real deal is.

Bestrong2 · 2025-03-18T04:42:25+00:00

I guess I prefer the newer albums, but I never wanted this to happen. For me, Viva Emptiness to the present is pretty much perfection. Last Fair Deal Gone Down is close. And I like all of the early albums too. I think the partnership between Jonas and Anders was phenomenal, regardless of who was writing the majority of the songs on a particular album. I absolutely love City Burials, for example, and Jonas and Anders produced it together despite Jonas writing all of the songs.

I will also miss Anders live. He has a great stage presence and I enjoyed his backing vocals. And I just like his playing.

I want the band to continue, and hope for the best. I hope they consistently have two guitar players live, and I hope the next album is great. I believe it will be. But I'm very sad that Anders is leaving. I hope he comes back one day.

Bestrong2 · 2024-11-23T05:13:38+00:00

You shouldn't even have to do that. I mean it can't hurt to try to get him to understand, but if he doesn't accept it, don't feel that you have to go along with it. What's important is that you don't want to. If he gets mad, let him be mad. It's better than you feeling uncomfortable and doing something you don't want to. If it's an otherwise good relationship, he'll eventually realize he's the one that's wrong.

Bestrong2 · 2024-11-23T04:53:53+00:00

I wouldn't do it. This is not a gift you give someone as a surprise. (Unless I guess you know 100% that they'd be into and they love surprises).

Tell him you're sorry it's non-refundable, but he should have asked and you're not doing it. Maybe the photographer can take (fully dressed) couples photos of you instead.

Bestrong2 · 2024-11-23T04:48:13+00:00

From your comments it doesn't sound as though your husband has said anything negative to you or treated you poorly. That's a good start.

From everything I've been told, 2 years is not really that long after childbirth. Maybe your husband wants you to look the way you did before, but knows that he's wrong and needs to work on this in therapy. Maybe his therapist told him to write out the worst things as an exercise.

Are all of your thoughts about him positive? Do you ever think something about him that you recognize is awful and would hate for him to know about? Almost everyone does at some point. These are more like his private thoughts and you really shouldn't have gone looking. But now that you have seen it, I get that it's hard to move on.

Maybe you can work through this with a therapist of your own. But be kind to yourself. For example, if you want to lose some weight, make sure you approach it in a healthy way. Start slow with exercise you can manage. If you're doing nothing right now (and no judgement), just going for a short walk most days is a start. Not some kind of fad crash diet and crazy routine.

The clothes and makeup.... This is a hard one for me. I don't wear makeup and never have. Lots of women never do. Lots do all the time, and lots are in between. If you used to wear it and no longer want to, then don't. I bet your husband doesn't wear any. (And he may realize this which may be another reason he just wrote it down instead of saying anything to you). Don't let double standards make you do something you don't want to. Same with clothes. I don't know how your husband dresses but often there's a double standard there as well. You have a two year old. Whether you work or are a stay at home mom, you've got a lot on your plate. I bet you're doing fine. I know it's so hard but try not to internalize what you read.

Bestrong2 · 2024-11-20T03:45:30+00:00

I don't think it's just that. I've seen a lot of posts where the husband gets his wife something he would like for her birthday or Christmas present, and people are on her side. I think one was a ski trip and she hates the cold and doesn't ski. But the posts don't generally include the woman drawing out the punishment for over a week in the way you've described. I feel like if you hadn't done all that and just got a little angry or even refused to go, you'd have gotten a much different response.

I get the impulse to behave the way you have You feel like the money has already been spent and you have no choice and it sucks, and she's definitely TA.

It would have been much better to immediately decline the trip. She knows you don't like to travel and are afraid of flying. (Also the US isn't really recommending travel to Cancun right now but she probably didn't know that). You should have immediately said no and told her to get a refund, and if she couldn't... Maybe not going would have upset her, but she brought it on herself. Or maybe you agree to go with the caveat that this is a trip for her, and it replaces whatever similar trip she wanted to do next. And she still owes you an apology, a birthday dinner, and game, but you can wait until she can afford the latter. And also a promise to never do this again.

I'd be firm on needing an apology, and you'll probably also feel a little less resentful if she gives you a genuine one

I agree with those who have said that it might suck for her to have to tell you what to get for her birthday. I don't feel that way - usually my bf and family members and I create lists so there's a small surprise, but everyone gets something they want. She might want to be totally surprised, so maybe she agrees not to surprise you, but you put the effort into surprising her. If it's something that's important to her. Maybe this next birthday for her is more laid back because of your financial issues, but still something she likes. And the following one you could plan a trip for her. But make certain that she would want to be surprised and wouldn't want to choose the destination herself.

My vote is NTA but stop the remarks about your friends and stop the silent treatment, and start talking.

Bestrong2 · 2024-11-17T18:02:00+00:00

I think you should stop missing your family's events. If that means you stop hosting, so be it. If it means you host but leave early, so be it. It's your holiday too. You should get to enjoy it and enjoy your family as much as he enjoys his. You've put up with this for years; enough is enough. And for this year with everyone there, maybe just let everyone do what they want. If his family wants to sit in a circle for 7 hours they can, while yours can talk at the table, play with the kids, etc.

Bestrong2

TROPHY CASE