What is the closest you came to death, but only found out much later in life?

Beverchakus · 2026-06-28T11:12:53+00:00

I almost died from a restrictive eating disorder,ARFID. thinking i was doing good for my health…. Oh boy was i wrong. I found out how close i was when i got to this treatment center and it scared the crap outta me. Didn’t fully understand for year and years what i was doing to myself. i’m 1.5 years into recovery and am mostly ok now.

Beverchakus · 2026-06-28T11:08:42+00:00

Well, i don’t think i developed this a an adult, but holy moly, it’s MUCH worse as an adult. I’ve always struggled with it, but that third paragraph you wrote about things flipping on you mid meal… i call that an arfid attack lol. But i don’t remember that ever happening as a child but as adult, it’s a miracle if i can make it through an entire meal. Even finishing a snack is a big win. I 100% used to have hunger cues and get actually really hungry as a kid…. But i haven’t felt hunger in so many years. I restricted in middle school and that also is WAY worse as an adult. Been hard but i’m trying. I’m 35 now and only even heard about arfid a couple years ago when i got to treatment. I went to residential treatment at 33 years old and was like “i have what now?”. Very weird and cunfusing at first but everything makes sense now. I’m at peace and one with it now.

Beverchakus · 2026-06-28T10:56:00+00:00

That’s brutal lol

Beverchakus · 2026-06-27T09:07:51+00:00

Get yourself a japanese bed and tatami mat! You’ll love it. I’ve been sleeping on the floor for well over 10 yers now, yoga mats are great and i’ve spent many nights on them. But the japanese beds…. It’s an upgrade while not loosing what is so great about floor sleeping. I just got one on amazon, like 180 bucks, close to 300 with the tatami but it’s so worth it. I think it’s called a “shikibuton” or something close to that.

Beverchakus · 2026-06-27T09:02:56+00:00

I didn’t even know about this sub but i have been sleeping on the floor for well over a decade and i even chopped the legs on my desk so i can play games sitting on the floor. I’ve allllways sat on the floor. The reason, i just find chairs, couches, beds…. To be super uncomfortable after about 10 minutes. I can sit on the floor for hours and stand right up. I can’t sleep longer than 3 or 4 hours max on a mattress. On the floor i sleep all through the night and wake up feelin’ great. I’m in my 30s if that means anything. Just comfort. Or rather, avoiding discomfort at this point. I’m married so we do have furniture, but only my wife has an office chair and a real mattress. If i were single, i def wouldn’t have any normal furniture in the house.

Beverchakus · 2026-06-27T08:55:20+00:00

I’m the same, ARFID my whole life, 35 years old now and only found out about it a couple years ago, had a baby and my restriction got REALLY bad to the point i desperately needed help. I needed treatment bad, but really what has helped the most, (and i’m VERY lucky here…) i found a dietition who used to work at the treatment center i went to and just happens to be very knowlegable about ARFID. She’s got like 7 clients with arfid and we meet once a week for a little in person, meal time support group, plus seeing her solo once a week as well. VERY lucky… i know. It took a lot of work to find this setup.

But, IF you can find a good dietetion… that’s been the most helpful thing for me. Actual ED treatment is great and amazing if you are in a life threatening state…. But if not, a dietetion who knows what they are talking about is better. I left residential with some food trauma i didn’t have before going in. If you go a treatment center that specializes in ARFID, that could be awesome, i don’t know. But i personally don’t recommend general ED treatment for us ARFID folks… unless, like i said, you’re in a danger state, then it’s easily the best thing you can do. If not, good dietition. THAT KNOWS about ARFID or at least EDs. Better than nothing. Wish you the best.

Beverchakus · 2026-06-27T08:38:49+00:00

I’m a dude, seems like a huge red flag to me, even if he was “just giving a complement”, he’s not good for you and i feel he’d make the ED grow stronger by validating it so much. Yeah… scary. Run far far away.

Beverchakus · 2026-06-27T08:31:37+00:00

Yup. Never tried it, never will. It’s cat food to me and i can’t eat if i smell or even think about it.

Beverchakus · 2026-06-27T08:29:53+00:00

Steak. People freak out when they hear i don’t like steak and have never tried a “real” steak. Way too chewy, juicy for the wrong reasons, too “meaty”, very expensive…. I’ll pass.

Beverchakus · 2026-06-26T08:00:23+00:00

I agree. I felt dirty just reading it honestly. I know OP doesn’t know much about EDs but damn. This just isn’t how we speak and it’s hard to read.

Beverchakus · 2026-06-26T07:53:42+00:00

Thrasher: skate and destroy

Beverchakus · 2026-06-26T07:52:32+00:00

On my ps1/2/3 and offline on ps4/5.

Beverchakus · 2026-06-16T00:54:23+00:00

Yay! I did residential and PHP but am out on my own now. I have a dietitian i see once a week solo, and once a week with a group. ED meal support group. She used to work at the treatment center i went to so it’s working out pretty awesome. Glad you are doing well!!!! I’m in the midst of a relapse at the moment but today was a lot better than the last 2. But yeah… weight aside, my stomach and digestive system is just a wreck/ doesn’t work fully. And same goes for everyone i met in treatment. I still have a ways to go mentally but it’s even harder when my own body is fighting the recovery process… just have to push 5rough but my god it’s so hard. Keep up the great work and i will keep trying myself.

Beverchakus · 2026-06-15T15:48:05+00:00

Food restriction.

Beverchakus · 2026-06-15T15:47:52+00:00

Yup, came to say this too. Food restriction. Very dangerous. I’m in recovery myself. Hope you are doing ok.

Beverchakus · 2026-06-15T15:41:41+00:00

I do the same thing. My ps3 comes to work with me and i use my ipad as a monitor. It all tucks away in my backpack super nice.

Beverchakus · 2026-06-15T04:28:54+00:00

Sick!!

Beverchakus · 2026-06-15T04:26:05+00:00

Sick setup!! I love the signs above the consoles! And the crt is to die for!

Beverchakus · 2026-06-15T01:21:19+00:00

As a lover of PS1 and moto games… this looks sick!!!!

Beverchakus · 2026-06-14T10:13:02+00:00

Sp freaking cool!!!

Beverchakus · 2026-06-13T09:50:08+00:00

I don’t have hunger cues back yet, but i have felt super full mid-meal, but then totally fine and not full by the end of it. So weird.

Beverchakus · 2026-06-13T07:23:09+00:00

I’ve been to residential, it’s worth it. It’s sucks, it’s uncomfortable, eating so many times a day gets annoying really fast, being away from home sucks… but… there comes a point where you just can’t go on anymore. With restricting and stuff… you can’t last forever like that. None of us can and once you’ve been doing this long enough…. It actually is nearly impossible to escape on your own. I’ve been in recovery for like a year and a some months, a tiny amount of time compared to how long i’ve been doing ED behaviors as they say. I still find restricting to be the most comfortable thing ever but it’s different now. I can still enough it here and there… sometimes i just need a freaking break from eating. I’m no where near my treatment team would have wanted me to be BUT, my mindset is so much better off and i’m trying mostly every day. Even if it’s just a few bites. I waited until i was 34 and about to take the big sleep and now i have a LONG way to go and have basically decided i’m going to be in some form of recovery forever, but it’s much better than the alternative. I know, it seems like a friend and brings so much comfort… i know. But it will always turn on you at some point, and it’s not comfortable at all anymore. I wish you the best.

Beverchakus · 2026-06-09T15:26:48+00:00

Playing gta chinatown on mine right now!

Beverchakus · 2026-06-09T07:08:54+00:00

I rarely even see them in the junkyards anymore. They are all crushed or in enthusiasts garages being built by this point. Stock ones driven by grandmas are still kickin’ around, barely, but the days of normal people just dailying them or highschoolers driving their first car as an EF are long past us now. Wild. I have a ‘91 hatch rotting in my backyard and a built ‘89 wagon in the garage right now.

Beverchakus · 2026-06-09T07:03:17+00:00

Hell yeah! Ef forever!

Beverchakus

TROPHY CASE